yea. kinda regretting not going with that

I.
I regret giving up ballet
giving up the chance to learn how to dance
now that the music is finally here,
walked in and broke my silence
and my ribs
my ribs, they started playing like a vintage piano
grand but humble
their ivories tickling my side just enough
to remind me I can still feel love
smitten and soft
and gentle
like that sincere hello
I havent spoken in years
taped on the roof of my mouth,
my tongue beginning to learn how to write
the letters that I actually mean to give to you
the truth my chicken scratch penmanship will unveil
behind every ending sentence I held on the side of my cheek

II.
because these days I find myself in search of a better word
a better sound, and my body
all she wants to do is paint the air with gestures,
as if the way our movement fills every empty space, writes our names in cursive on the face of time so much that astronauts call home
Just to say they can see how happy you’ve made me
all the way from Space
And not even space is enough distance to cover how long I promise to
keep you safe in the wells of my collarbones

III.
out of two hundred and six, the bone I am most afraid to break
Lies above my chest
And just beneath my head,
afraid because somedays I find my fingers tracing its curve
and I realize how eager I am to break it for absolutely no reason at all,
Afraid because if I do, I’d know what it’s like to collapse like a marionnette
unable to breathe, to stand,
to bend myself into a shape that looks like me

IV.
I wonder how you see me
I know I dont look much like a dancer,
some days I imagine I resemble flowers more than people,
like Snowdrops swaying in some secret garden,
some unknown patch of good, tucked away only for people like you to find
but I know not everyone choose to step off the trail
and I wonder if I’m any good at all

V.
There is a German legend, about Snowdrops
Where god sent snow to find flowers and ask them to share their colours
One by one they all said no, except for her, little pearlescent thing,
She agreed and in exchange Snow decided only she could bloom
in His prescence, first in every cold spring,
Cheerful and warm
Wrapped in his white blanket

VI.
Sometimes snowdrops and snow reminds me of us
They day you asked me to watch them fall in love
on our lunch break and you held the door for me
and asked if I was cold

VII.
For a moment I felt like the snowdrop,
cared for, loved
in the presences of my snow
smiling next to me,

VIII.
Then I felt like the snow,
Free falling
Relieved to have found someone willing to share with me
their heart, their favorite season
and this moment,
in vivid colours

IX.
I never knew winter could be anything but bleak
but here you are proving to me the colour
white is anything but blank
that it has veins that carries endless hues
I can compare my blushes to

X.
I regret giving up ballet
because here the snow is falling
in sync to the melody the snowdrop is swaying to

X.
If you listen close enough
there is music in the air, a song
Winter is playing just for us

X.
I wonder if I should ask you to dance
If we do, I’d let you lead,
but only if you’ll let me fall in love with you

X.
let me fall in love with you.

—  serenity.06|| untitled, 07.27.2017

I posted here before and I’m a bartender/waitress in a pub. This is kinda a fuck customers tbh. So anyways, it was almost closing time and we stopped serving drinks outside as we have a large garden and I had to clean it up. I had a bit of a break and chatted with a friend, both of us having beer (i took one that was from a tap cause we made one too many). I got up and me and my friend started picking up the pillows. Anyways, a thrashy couple in their 50ties comes, the woman asking if we have any toast. I said we don’t serve any food anymore as the kitchen is closed (and also we were busy cleaning up). They kinda complained and thought about going somewhere else but still lingered around. I went inside and after a minute or so my friend comes: yea you’re outta your beer. I was like dafuq are you talking about?? So I go out and the couple was sitting where we sat before and the guy was drinking the rest of my beer… Asshole! Like even if it weren’t my beer, how can you be so thrashy?? I did tell him that was my beer but i was just so baffled that i didn’t know what to do. I regret not taking it and pouring it out, in front of him. People are sometimes total garbage.

Another story from same place: the owner came to party and he wanted to make it more of a private party for us as well, so he asked us to empty the place asap after closing hours. We did so and just had the door open on one side as the door to warehouse is outside. so we go to get drinks to fill empty fridges inside and there’s this youngish couple. they say: we’re just going to the toilet (no please, no thank you, nothing). the girl slips inside before we answer but coworker stops the guy (he was serving them and they were shitheads apparently). they start arguing, some stronger words are said, and te douche is like: we spent a lot here we have the right etcetc (they spent like 30€ which is not much lol) and that the coworker wasn’t treating them right. so coworker is like: what, do you own me now that you were drinking here or what? and the douche goes: yes, i do. coworker almost hit him, but other coworkers stopped him and calmed him down. kinda wish he would be able to hit that asshole… (also fyi, we get to talk back at our place, so coworker didn’t get in any trouble). we did have a nice party afterwards tho so happy end :)