ye old english

i swear white people get mad over us saying ‘talmbout’ instead of ‘talkin about’ or ‘ion’ instead of ‘i don’t’.. do y’all get mad that we say ‘you’ instead of ‘thee’ now? language.. evolves. if you’re so pressed then learn and speak old english ye ol stupid ass

2

Thank you thank you  😊 I work very hard to make people forget I’m French haha. It’s weird because when I record myself I think you can hear my accent, but irl I keep fooling people? Last time an American tried to guess where I was from they said South Africa and Australia before they even thought I might be French, lmao. 

And I got my accent from watching Buffy and Friends (at first, and now from watching everything in English for 15 years). True story. The longest I’ve ever been in an English-speaking country was two weeks in London back in 2001. :p

i always go on reddit now bc i need dirt on fire emblem but its so fucking annoying someone will be like hey and the next comment (with 100 upvotes) will be like “Actually, the correct way of greeting someone in Ye Olde Englishe is ‘Hello, fellow serf.’” like shut the fuck up mayhaps

Vision Quest: How to Promote Something New or Different

He always seemed happy. That’s what I remember about B 1.0 (pre-TIG shenanigans). He was a rainbow of happiness, ranging from plain old happy to delighted to joyful, with occasional shades of giddiness or silliness peeking through. And since happiness is contagious, after a while just seeing pictures of B made me smile. Bear this in mind as we take a look at how to promote something new or different.

It seems so much easier to take the known path, even if it’s old and worn. I suspect that was the motivation behind trying to squish B into the dreary stereotype of Ye Olde English Gentleman. While B does have some of the required characteristics for the role, so much of what made B interesting and exciting has to be suppressed, that it isn’t a good fit and just doesn’t work long-term. And using a known cliché means you are competing with many, many others. Not good.

What can work long-term? When you want to promote something or someone who is different/has unique qualities, your best bet is Blue Ocean Strategy. Identify the different/unique strengths and build around those, but remember to use a framework or frame-of-reference that makes it easy to understand, relate to, and remember. So, back in the old days, I would have said B’s strengths in terms of public persona would include energy, curiosity, enthusiasm, spontaneity, and capacity for joy. Pulling that all together, I would have described B then as a “joyful life explorer/adventurer.”

Many of B’s public activities and actions supported the brand of “joyful life explorer/adventurer”: snowboarding, skydiving, travel, interest in languages, being open to new areas (whether scientific or spiritual or cultural or something else). The value of this brand is that it appeals to men and women of all ages and backgrounds, and it is very compatible with leading man roles. And, judging from his past appearances and interviews, it involves things that B is comfortable sharing with the public.

The best thing about building a brand this way is that, because it is organic, it can function as a North Star to guide in making decisions about public issues (not professional issues, such as choosing roles). So, for public appearances or activities, think about whether it supports “joyful life explorer/adventurer” or whether it diminishes or hurts that image; then act accordingly. This is what businesses go through with their vision or mission statement. Ideally, the business identifies its core values, and then all activities and decisions support them. A classic example is the budget airline that wants to provide great customer service at the lowest possible price; the airline rejects the idea of adding a nonessential frill, because it would improve customer service but add quite a bit to the price. 

If B is able to weather the current storm and re-evaluate his brand, then hopefully he will find a way to get back to his inner core. We’ve seen his transformation from Tigger to Eyeore; rebranding will help B to get back to his inner Tigger. And I can’t wait. Nobody puts Tigger in a box.

okay wth

So, I have not seen that ‘Kingsman’ movie with Colin Firth in it yet (although I should, because, you know, Colin Firth). But I have just been informed (hi aria-lerendeair!) that it is the source of that abominably ungrammatical but-pretending-to-be-all-fancy phrase that has been doing the rounds lately, by people thinking they are speaking Good Because Archaic And Spoken In The Most Oxbridge Accent Possible phrase, ‘Manners maketh man’.

GUYS

NO

STOP

ARHGHAGH

dammit

MOVIES

and TV SHOWS

and PEOPLE GENERALLY

who think they can just go YAY YES YE OLDE ENGLISH I SHALL STICK SOME WORDS TOGETHER AND MAKE THEM SOUND SO BRITISH

what can I do to make it more fancy and ye olde I KNOW I CAN STICK IN SOME ‘THEE’S and some ‘-ETH’S and just generally do the grammatical equivalent of Captain Carrot’s approach to punctuation which is something like a dartboard.

okay

look

here is how it works

English doesn’t conjugate verbs much. Most other languages do: eg, Italian, the present tense of ‘to make’ (infinitive ‘fare’):

io faccio, tu fai, lui/lei fa, noi facciamo, voi fate, loro fanno

English (infinitive ‘to make’):

I make, you make, he/she makes, we make, you (plural) make, they make.

See, we dropped a whole bunch of changes to the verb itself centuries back, which is why we need the pronouns nowadays to know who’s doing the action of the verb. And it gets even more complicated in other tenses or moods. But compare Old English, infinitive ‘macian’:

ic mace, þu macest, he/hit/heo macaþ, we macaþ, ye macaþ, hie macaþ.

(And in fact, it’s an irregular verb: most verbs distinguish between the third person singular - he/she - and the plural forms, by having ‘eth’ rather than ‘ath’ for the third person singular. And yes, the ‘þ’ = ‘th’, and therefore ‘þu’ = later Shakespearean ‘thou’, which is always singular and usually informal, although in far later English - eg, after the 17th century, when it starts to drop out of common usage as a familiar form of address - it becomes associated with addressing God, and therefore, paradoxically, elevated.)

THE POINT I’M MAKING HERE

‘Manners maketh man.’

By the fourteenth century, the -ath ending for third person plural verbs (’they’) had been replaced by -an, -an, or just the infinitive form (’maken’ or ‘make’), depending on your dialect. By the Early Modern English which this expression is trying to mimic, they have been replaced altogether by the infinitive (’make’). ‘Maketh’ was exclusively for the third person singular:

I make, thou makest, he/she/it maketh, we make, you (plural) make, they make.

In this sentence, ‘manners’ is the subject, okay? That means it’s the ‘thing’ governing the action of the verb, and it’s plural. That means the verb needs to be plural (ie, ‘make’ - they make). Saying ‘manners maketh man’ is exactly as grammatically correct as saying ‘we makest dinner’. It maketh (hah!) you (thee, as it’s in the accusative case, which we have also mostly forgotten except in pronouns) sound right pretentious and also inaccurate. Only now there’s this movie out there with Colin Firth saying it in the most ‘don’t you dare question my grammar’ accent you can possibly imagine, and punctuating it by the sound of badass, and aarrrgrh PEOPLE JUST STOP IT YOU CANNOT MAKE UP YOUR OWN GRAMMAR AND DISSEMINATE IT UNDER THE PRETENCE OF FANCINESS.

And don’t you dare give me that ‘language evolves and changes’ line. Yes, it does, and that’s brilliant and fun. But you don’t get to play that card at the same time as playing the ‘look how much better I am than you because I can speak ye olde English as it used to be spoken’ card.

tldr it literally says ‘Manners makes man’. That is what that sentence is doing grammatically. and then it is dressing itself up in frills to make you think it is better than you. and EVERYONE IS BUYING IT.

And yes, this applies to all of you who try to use ye olde English in your fics or wherever. Please, please, come to me (or someone who knows) and ask. I will be delighted to help you, and also to help provide period-correct vocab and sentence structure. Just don’t throw random grammar at the wrong parts of the sentence and sit back and look pleased at your fancy antiquities. 

My job is going to kill me
  • Me: All right, because you don't have your client identification numbers, I just have to quickly verify your identity before releasing any information.
  • Client: Okay.
  • Me: The easiest way to do this is for me to text you a simple 8 digit number.
  • Client: Okay.
  • Me: We have a phone number on file, is this a cell number?
  • Client: It's (recites phone number).
  • Me: Yes, that's the number we have. Can you receive texts at that number?
  • Client: Sure.
  • Me: Okay, I've requested the verification data to be sent to that number, please open the text and tell me the number, please.
  • Client: This is a landline.
  • Me: (resists the urge to scream at the top of my lungs)
  • Client: Is this going to take much longer, sweetheart? I have things to do.
Me, Mom, and Ye Old Autocorrect.
  • Me at work: I'm hungry.
  • Mom: Got pot roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, turnip greens, and bread.
  • Me: Ok. Do thou want to watch Iron Man?
  • Mom: I guesseth.
  • Me: Shut up. :p tonight?
  • Mom: Idc. Don't tell your mother to shut up. No food for thou.
  • Me: ThenI'll buyest some.
  • Mom: Pillage yon McDonald's.
  • Me: No. Thine had it yesterday.
  • Mom: Maybe thou should aim thine car at slow moving possum on thine journey home.
  • Me: How aboutheth a no.