You should totally go watch The Pirates right now, unless you’ve seen it before, in which case you should probably watch it again. I can’t write a proper review of it because I’m not drunk, and this feels like the kind of movie I’d review much better if I was drunk, but I can say that it gave me the same sort of glee as Hansel and Gretel, Witch-hunters or the first Pirates of the Caribbean, only without the flagrant anachronism or anything supernatural.
Instead you’ve got Ye-Jin Son’s bad-ass beautiful pirate babe (above) repeatedly kicking dudes in the face and also communing with whales. She only shows skin when she gets in a my-scar-is-more-badass-than-your-scar contest with the male lead.
Everything in this movie is over the top and flaunting it.
Also there’s a hapless ex-pirate who keeps trying to teach a bunch of bandits basic marine biology, and the best cinematic use of a seagull ever.