I could not stop wasting time. It was crazy. I wanted to do something with my life, but instead I went to sleep, or sung in the shower, or sat and stared at the wall. I couldn’t even tell you about anything that I saw. I didn’t talk to anybody. The cicadas kept dying outside, and as I dreamed, my mouth grew thick and venomous with silence.
—  Yiwei Chai, The Jacaranda Years
I possess my body like the mirror of a lake.
My brain like a perfect apricot season
I open my eyes to the crows and think
of nothing.
A nothing
so pure and clean I wash my face with it,
and then my hands,
and then my whole body until
I am crisp and sharp and pink
as the salt lake
which swallowed a man whole
and did not give up even the bones.
—  Yiwei Chai, Fragments III
I wanted like a confessional. Give me the world
or something like it. The name of the god
in my ears; the earth, trembling and violent.

Or silent. It could be like that too, god,
with all the wind in the trees shining
And nothing terrible or wounded, except
the very tips of your fingers,
which bled from playing too much piano.
—  Yiwei Chai, from The Blue House On the Sea
It’s Always Been You.

All credits go to creators and owners of GIF’s. This came from my own head but I do not own you or your crush. I hope you enjoy!

YC/N= your crush’s name

Originally posted by lilemofoxes

“Hey YC/N can I talk to you for a second?” I asked tentatively, not sure they would even want to talk to me. 

“Yeah sure, come on in.” YC/N responded cheerfully. I slowly walked into their room and just kinda stood there awkwardly wondering if what I’m about to do is absolutely crazy. “What can I help you with Y/N?” they asked after a moment of very awkward silence. 

“Well you see, ummm. I have to say. This is hard for me. I don’t really know how to put this. Ugh! Where do I start?” I frustratingly exclaimed. 

“Why don’t you start from the beginning? I always find that’s the best place to start.” they reasoned after seeing me struggle.

“It’s you. It’s always been you. No matter who talks to me. Who asks me out. Who I find cute. No matter the age. Even in my dreams I can’t escape from the torture I’ve been putting myself through. And quite frankly it’s all because of you. It’s because of the way your eyes wrinkle when you smile, the way you laugh when someone makes a pun, they way you narrow your eyes when someone won’t listen to you, the personal stories you tell to relate to the topic we’re talking about, or how you react when you say something you shouldn’t. Everything is because of you. I love you. It’s always been you.” I ramble rather quickly wondering if they even caught half of what I said. 

When they don’t respond though I mutter a forget it and start to walk away from the embarrassment and shame I just put myself through. Just as I was almost out the door, a hand caught my wrist not allowing me to go any further than I already was. 

Originally posted by everythingrelationshipsx

I kept my head down with cheeks red enough a fire truck would be envious. I had embarrassed myself without thinking it through properly​, and now I had to face my consequences. He gently pulled on my wrist slowly pulling me closer to what i thought would be humiliation and rejection. Why me? Why did I have to be so impulsive?

“Do you really feel that wayY/N?” they questioned after a moment of watching my embarrassment.

“Yeah I actually do. And I’m sorry for making things awkward I just felt like you should know the truth, I understand though that you don’t feel the same.” 

“Well I have to say that I am flattered you feel this way about me. And although I can’t say that it has always been you for me, it is you right now. I love you. Every little thing about you, I just never thought you’d feel the same way because you are practically perfect in my eyes.” He remarked while ever pulling me closer to him.

In a jiffy his hand was on my chin, slowly tilting it toward his face. Our lips were mere centimeters apart. I closed my eyes feeling his breath fan across my. My hands slowly wound there way around his neck closing what little space we had between our bodies.

Originally posted by sensualkisses

My whole body was on fire because of him. I had waited so long I thought that this would never happen and here I am kissing the man of my dreams. Every inch of me wanted more and yet I had to pull away because of the extreme need for oxygen. Standing there flush with each other, out of breath and flustered we both did the only thing we could possibly think of doing at that moment. Laugh. We were laughing for what felt like hours, but could have merely been moments. 

In that moment watching his eyes wrinkle around the edges and his body double over because of the laughter I realized one thing.

It has always been him, and it will always be him. No matter what.