yay we remembered how to win

This is a long emotional post with alot of grammatical errors but I just want to let this out because I think it’s important to have this here. I became an a+ when mblaq had their debut at rain’s fanmeet back in 2009. I suffered from depression due to a terrible event I experienced and I lost all interest with the world. My school grades dropped (I went from being someone with top grades to achieving the bare minimum), relationship with family was terrible, relationship with friends was :/ most of the time due to me being an ass. mblaq were like my lifesavers, i took so much pride in being an a+, i felt as if i had some kind of purpose in my life, they inspired me, they made me feel happy and i would cry from laughter watching them on shows. I know it sounds dramatic but I don’t know what would or could have happened if it wasn’t for mblaq. i became a fan at the age of 14 and i’m now 19 and i think i’ve grown mentally and physically, it’s kinda like i’ve grown with mblaq. i admit i don’t keep up with them as often because i have university (i can’t believe i’m in university, like omg guys i actually made it), work etc. to deal with now (i don’t want to grow up!) but honestly mblaq mean so much to me. i might not be as good of a fan as i used to be (gone are the days i would stream mblaq hours on end and try to get their names to trend on search engines, do all sorts to try and go to concerts etc) but mblaq are still such a big part of me, i don’t want to let go. this is like closing a chapter in my life. In these few years I went from my lowest to achieving so much and being so successful, I have learnt so much.

Most importantly THANKYOU A+. I no longer suffer from depression but i do have social anxiety and am terrible at making friends in real life (i’m a loser lol). Thankyou for being there a+. Thankyou for listening to my angry rants about j.tune’s shitty management. Thankyou for dealing with my feels. Thankyou for fangirling with me. I have met some of the best people on here and made so many good friends (i wish i knew you all irl). Looking back now we’ve had some amazing times together. I remember how happy all of us guys were when mblaq had their first win for Y and their wins for This is War. I can honestly say it was the happiest I had felt in years. I still remember the day mblaq had their first win crystal clear, i’ll never forget it. We had worked together to get them their well deserved wins and i’m just… I’m so happy I met all of you honestly. I even got to see joonie’s ass yay, my url wasn’t in vain ahaha. but you guys, srsly i could name a million reasons why we’re the BEST KPOP FANDOM HANDSDOWN!!! 

it’s raining as i’m writing this and i just feel like crying. I know this isn’t the end, no one said it was, but one day it will be and that’s just life. Idols can’t be forever. The past few months I tried to distance myself from mblaq because i now have responsibilities on my shoulders and people who depend on me and i’m really glad i did because this would be 10x harder to deal with if i didn’t. I don’t know if i’ll be on here much anymore. I’m not as consistent as i used to be. I update like maybe 3 times in a month. I’m sorry about that. I don’t know anymore but…
Thankyou for everything mblaq. Thankyou for everything a+.
I’ll always be proud.