Hi so I just graduated high school (yay!) and am going to college soon and am worried about making friends. Throughout my schooling career I've been a sort of, doormat? I guess? I always attributed people not really wanting to be close to my ADHD and not quite having correct "social timing" Things like talking out of turn, joining conversations I wasn't necessarily apart of, misinterpreting meanings(laughing bc I thought something was supposed to be funny when it wasn't or similar situations)1/?
Cont.- and my senior year I really started to try and pay more attention to things like that and not jump into conversations (that one is a big thing for me, so people think I’m nosey) and it got a little better. But I still feel like I literally have a sign taped on my back telling people I’m weird, because people still stayed away. And I had promised myself not to be that “doormat” when I entered high school because in middle school I was bullied and made fun of a lot. 2/?
(Sorry this wasn’t supposed to be this long) so, now I’m better at standing up for myself, so I’m less of a “doormat” I don’t let people walk all over me. But I realized that’s the only reason people kept me around because they liked having someone to step on. By the end of the year I was literally eating lunch with my history teacher because I didn’t fit in to any of the friend groups. Basically my question is how do I work on social timing and not being annoying and making friends?
I am, sadly, not so hot with social skills myself. However, I have a fantastic resource to suggest for you. It’s a book called What does everybody else know that I don’t?, by Michele Novotni. It’s got all kinds of tips and tricks for figuring out how to navigate social situations. See if your local library has it. I think I got my copy off of Amazon, so you can buy it if you want to have a copy to refer to anytime.
I do want to encourage you, though. I had trouble making friends during school, but university was different. People in university were way more accepting of weird stuff, for one thing. For another, I was a music major and musicians are all a little bit strange. And then there’s the fact that when you’re in university it’s different because you’re all there studying things you WANT to learn, and you all share common interests. So it’s easier to find people you relate to, who like being around you and spending time with you, because you’re in the same classes and care about the same things.