I have yet another doctor’s appointment today to officially tell how my ankle is healing (because it apparently takes for freaking ever). I won’t be able to have the other ankle done for quite a while (because this surgery was really hard on me, and my work would have a cow if I was out for another two months). I will also start physical therapy soon, so yeah. Woot…
I can’t say I’m not nervous, but every appointment until now has been positive! So, that’s good. 😁
I’ll be on here most of the day, so feel free to shoot me an ask with a random question or whatever. I could use a little bit of positivity today.
I hope you all are doing well! Part 4 of Race Against Time should be up tonight if I can get my shit together. I’m also working on some requests. I’m sorry that have taken soooo long. I have not forgotten them!
(For the amazing inky-blue, and to us all garenai shippers! Stay strong yo!)
First year Nai was feeling a little weird inside. Just a little, and the feeling was like when he crumpled a piece of paper between his fingers, or like when a rose petal died and shrinked and started to smell.
He noticed that it appeared whenever he tried to talk to his good friend, Gareki, from third year, but couldn’t because of all the girls that kept trying to steal his attention away, waving their short skirts around, laughing way too loud at whatever excuse to leave the older tried to make.
Why were they even friends? Simple, Gareki had saved him the very first day of class. Some really tall, intimidating guys had confused him for a girl, Nai supposed, and were trying to get a date from him. It wasn’t the first time it happened ,but Karoku, his step brother, had always been around to help him out. However, Karoku was now away in college, and Nai remembered his heart buzzing inside his chest, and that horrible defenseless feeling… Until a long shadow hid him, and the guy behind it sent those punks to hell.
From that very moment, Nai decided he wanted to be like him one day, and fully admitted his admiration towards him. It was just that he was so corageous, so defying, so self reliant…! He was amazing, and Nai never failed to tell him so every chance he got.
So, now that he was sitting next to Yogi and Tsukumo, a couple of siblings that were Gareki’s cousins, with his caramel red eyes glued on the tallest one, he couldn’t help but to feel yet another paper crumbling inside of him.
“Is there something wrong, Nai?”, Tsukumo asked, her slight french accent slipping between her words, as she accomodated her eating utensils with her usual straight face on.
“Why is Gareki always ‘round girls…?”, the boy asked, his spirits a little down.
“Well, ‘ts not like he wants it.”, Yogi interjected, looking at the same direction as him, his accent less obvious than his sister’s.
“No?”, Nai’s eyes opened bigger with realization. Now that he said it, he noticed how Gareki did look more than just a bit annoyed, and how he tried to walk back to the table without dropping his meal. The paper inside him was starting to unwrinkle.
“Yeah! Like, you know, when guys surround you, askin’ you out?”, the blonde kept on explaining, as he stuffed his mouth with mashed potatoes.
“But those girls want to date Gareki!”, the younger one said, indignant, “Those guys are just friendly!”
The siblings exchanged a look, rolling their eyes at his naiveness.
“Well, maybe Gareki would do well with a partner.”, the only girl in the group let out, after tapping her lips with a paper handkerchief, her clear eyes darting back to the albino. “Don’t you think?”
“But… With one of those girls?”, he said, insecure, “Don’t think they are good enough for him…”, it came out mumbled, as if he was unsure to voice that particular thought.
“But what if G really wants a partner, hm?”, the oldest guy insisted, bending forward and placing his chin on his hand.”Like, right now?”
“Hmmm…”, the boy pressed his lips togheter, a small frown forming between his eyebrows. “You are right… Wait! I got an idea!”
“‘Bout what, stupid animal?”, Gareki’s deeper voice reached Nai’s ears before he saw him sitting in front of him.
“Gareki, you made it back!”, he gleefuly replied, a toothy smile lighting his eyes.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I…?”
“We were talking,” Tsukumo interrupted him with her eyes still fixated on her food, “About your romantic-life.”
“Mine?!”, Gareki sounded surprised.
“Oh yeah!”, Nai started, “I remember now! See, I got the solution.”
“For your dating problem!”, Nai’s eyes opened with excitement, “See, we think those girls aren’t… um, that good for you…” ‘with those loud voices and mean jokes!’ a voice finished for him in his mind, “So, until you find a nice one, I though you could date me, instead!”, he concluded, proudly,
While the siblings exchanged yet another look, and perhaps a hidden laugh, Gareki’s eyes grew wide with even more surprise, and his face took a crimson tint. He swallowed, speechless, as Nai just sat there, staring at him with an expectant look.
“Uh…”, he finally let out, his voice sounding a little dizzy, “Uh, sure, okay…”
“Great!”, the boy nodded.
“So… uh, I was going to go to the market tomorrow… Wanna tag along?”, Gareki awkwardly asked, as he toyed around with his plastic fork.
“Sure!”, Nai was quick to reply. “Tomorrow, at like five?”
“Yeah!”, he nodded big, “It’s a date!”
It felt like a snake wrapped around him, tightening its firm grip with each second passing by. It felt like his lungs were too small for him to breathe freely. It felt like he had taken a too deep dive, and reaching the top was impossible.
And perhaps it was.
Nagisa was sure the end was soon. Not the end to the world, of course, but the end of his world. He was so sure; it hurt him deep in his heart.
And every piece that fell apart took a rip of his heart with it. He kept feeling it.
He felt it when he sees Rei drifting apart the club. He felt it when he saw that his scores improve little to nothing. He felt it when no one new shows up to the swimming club, no matter how hard they try.
He feels it when he sees the days in the calendar go by, and remembers that the days are counted. That at the end of that very year, Haru, Rin and Makoto will be off to a new school.
And he will be alone. Again.
And reaching the top keeps getting harder and harder. He needs to breathe.
Everything he’s worked for. Everything he’s done for his friends. Everything, everything is falling apart like rotten petals.
And those petals sink him further and further in the water, and he’s getting short of breath and now he can’t even distinguish the surface.
What will it be of him? What will it be of us, what will be of the future?
He felt himself getting short of breath, slumbered against a wall inside the pool’s locker room, and sliding down.
His hands were shaking, and the only thing he could distinguish is the rough, wet material against his delicate skin, which added to the pain, but it’s not even close to what it’s inside his chest.
He wanted to scream! He wantedto run! He wanted to stop the time! But he can’t. No one can. And it’s unavoidable, the ruin of everything.
Suddenly, a pair of feet appeared in his vision, but he barely registered them. He must have gone deaf, too, because the only thing he could hear is a small ring in his ears, and his own thoughts. Everything was a blur, and he couldn’t make sense of it.
Two awkward hands passed around his shoulders, and the motion was hesitant, very hesitant and slow.
Next thing he felt was a hand brushing down his golden locks, slowly, lightly, almost like a pet. Then, along with that, a pairs of arms gripping strongly around his shoulders, and he was suddenly being pressed against something warm.
He feels reality slowly kicking in. His senses… were starting to cooperate again. His arms found their way around the other person that he realized was another guy, gripping from him as if his life depended on it.
And maybe it did.
“Nagisa?”, he felt the hand stopping the touch, and the low voice he could never confuse vibrating against his cheek.
Which was wet. Both of his cheeks were wet. He didnt even know he had been crying until he felt the tears splashing between his skin and haru’s neck.
“Nagisa, what’s wrong?”, Haru repeated, his stoick tone softening just the slightest.
“Haru I-”, he began, between hiccups, but his voice came out strangled, and he choked on his own words.
He found he had so much to say, that he couldn’t say a word. All of his feelings were jammed up in a complicated tangle deep down his throat; and he didn’t even know what end to untangle first.
He felt his touch slowly traveling down, and then, starting to massage his back in languid but sure motions. He felt the burn inside of his chest slowly, slowly fading, but he was sure it would never leave him.
“It’s okay,” he heard him say, his voice calm and soothing, "Everything will be okay.”
“No, it’s not!”, Nagisa suddenly exploded, "The year will end, you guys will be gone, the swim club will close, Rei’s gonna find new friends and I…!”, he felt the tangle tightening yet again in his throat, “And I’ll be alone again…”
His voice was but a mere mumble. All the energy rush his emotions had given him seemed to fade away in that moment and he suddenly felt drained. Empty. Silence reigned the room for a few seconds.
“We aren’t going to leave you alone. I’m not going to leave you alone, Nagisa.”, his voice made his neck vibrate, and his words somehow started to make sense. “Even if we finish school… I’m not going anywhere. We are not fading away.”
The blonde let himself breathe deep a few times, the machinery in his brain slowing down.
“I won’t leave you alone.”, the older repeated, once again.
And the emptiness in his chest started to get filled with a warm, light sensation.
He felt tears tingling once again, but this time weren’t bitter ones. A wave of relief slowly washed all over him, drowning his insecurities. It was weird, but those words from Haru meant everything to him.
And he pressed his face against his neck once again, and made his grip on him stronger.
“Thank you, Haru”, he let out, his voice no longer choked up, a shaky smile curling up the corner of his lips, “Thank you so, so much!”
And in that moment he knew, that even if everyone went away, if he could still have him, everything would be fine.
Hey guys! So, I got to go to the Character Box here for the first time in a while today, and if you don’t know it’s a shop that sells anime/cartoon paraphernalia and I feel like I got soo much stuff ^^;;; So I thought I’d share what I got with you guys~ it wound up being around $40 for everything, which actually isn’t bad for places like this… ^^; So, starting from the right, a cute little Pusheen keychain plushie and notebook, Rilakkuma chopsticks+holder, absolutely adORABLE MECHANICAL PENCILS -
CAN I JUST SAY, I LOVE THESE CHOPSTICKS SO MUCH, I can’t wait to eat with them~ n0n (definitely using them as an excuse to have ramen tonight ahahah) Oh, what’s in that clear box at the top, you ask?
OKAY LOLOL SO. The Rin keychain is already out of his packaging because when I was sick with the flu last week, my sister and her boyfriend bought it for me and brought it home to cheer me up because they knew he’s my favorite, so when we went there today I just had to get the Haru to go with him ^^;; the destined pair must stay together right. ♡ they’re soo cute n-n I’m probably going to hang them in my room somewhere. And I’m guessing the butterfly keychain was supposed to be for Rei, because there was no name on it or anything… But I bought it anyway cause it’s pretty ^^’ also!! I wanted to use this opportunity to show you guys the Rin and Haru necklaces I bought online as well! I’ve never mentioned them before, but I love them so much.. I wore the Rin one out today ^///^ and then there’s the Rei badge which my sister bought for me ages ago because that’s the only thing from Free they had at the time xD;
I hope you guys enjoyed seeing my new trash I mean my new treasures ^__^;; I had a really fun day and I’m really excited to start practicing kanji in my notebook~ it feels official somehow n-n
Hey guys! I don’t usually do this but I’m having a LOT of trouble getting rid of these two sweet babies! And they need homes… So if any of my followers live near the Cincinnati/Columbus Ohio area and happen to want a kitten, let me know so I can get one to you!
They are litter trained, healthy and very sweet… The blondie is a male (Gus) and the little grey one (Mavis) is a female. I’m thinking they’re around 10 weeks old now.
between my biology book and some romantic French literature I never finished reading.
I used the flower as an excuse to almost fail biology class. —I am creating something beautiful here. Do not move the cover.— So I sat there and watched the spaces grow smaller where my flower dried. I never read about how the flower was made, why it needed water.
I used French romanticism to press my flower against something tragic and unknown. Sometimes leaving before the ending is the best way to settle the story. The —what if— will always be the best part of the worst story lines.
I waited longer than I should before pulling the books apart. A dried flower slipped over the binding and fell on the floor. I almost left it there.
reblog to enter (likes can be used as a reference but not as an entry)
message me the phrase you would like ^ω^ (please though, nothing hateful or offensive)
have your submit open
-pictures will be submitted to you once I reach my goal, so if I don’t get back to you right away, do not fret (✿◠‿◠)
-phrases can be no longer than one or two sentences
-special requests for pen / pencil / multiple colors must be messaged with the phrase (I may not be able to do the exact colors you want, as I will be using my giant collection of colored sharpies, but I will try to get as close as I can)