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And I'll Spin For You Like Your Favourite Records Used To - Chapter 3 - just_plain_fanfics - Voltron: Legendary Defender [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Aaaand the third chapter is up!!! This one has some heavy stuff so please be careful! I added some warnings in the tags and they have more details!!

i’m honestly in disbelief that five-thousand people follow me. i am so, so grateful to all of you amazing humans, and to show my thanks i’ve decided to throw a tumblr awards! it’s been a while since i’ve done one on my own, and i really wanted to do something special for you babes!

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Nursey knocked on Dex’s dorm room door again.

“Dex!  Will!  I know you’re in there!” he yelled, “Just let me in!   I need to know you’re ok!”  He’d been there for at least half an hour with no response, and wasn’t sure he expected one.  Still, Nursey wasn’t giving up.  No one had heard from Dex since that morning, and he was worried.

He was relieved when the door opened, but that was short lived, once he saw Dex’s tear streaked face.

“I’m fine.” Dex snapped, and went to close the door.  Without thinking, Nursey stuck his foot in the way, and forced it open.

“You’re clearly not.” Nursey pointed out.  He expected Dex to disagree, to argue, to kick him out, but he just sighed, and walked further into his room.  Nursey followed, closing the door behind him.

“What’s up?” Nursey asked casually as he sat into Dex’s desk chair, and Dex curled up at the top of his bed.

Dex stayed quiet, playing with his sleeves and staring at his blanket.

“Will,” Nursey said. Dex looked up at the use of his first name.  “What’s wrong?  What happened?”  Nursey was worried he was being blunt, and harsh, but he needed to know what was wrong with Dex so he could fix it.

“I…it’s nothing.” Dex mumbled.  Nursey felt his heart clench at how quiet he sounded.  William Poindexter was many things, but quiet wasn’t one of them.

It was one of the many reasons Nursey loved him.

“Rubbish” Nursey said, trying to hide how he felt.  “That’s a lie Will.  What happened?  Why are you so sad?  Where’s Tanner?”

At the mention of his boyfriend, Will burst into tears.  He hid his face in his hands, shoulders shaking as he tried to hold back his sobs.

“Dex?” Nursey asked cautiously.  A million awful scenarios ran through his mind as to why that question would make Dex cry.  “Where is Tanner?”

“We…he….Tanner dumped me.” Dex managed to sob out.  “He dumped me and I don’t know why!  I thought we were great together!  And he broke up with me.  And I don’t know what I did, but he’s gone.”

Nursey felt like his heart was breaking.  Dex, brilliant, smart, beautiful, Dex, was hurting, and blaming himself for it.  He was sobbing his heart out, and Nursey didn’t know what to do to help him feel better.

“Dex,” he began, unsure what he was planning to say after that.  “Dex.  It’s not your fault.”

Dex shook his head, no.

“It’s not.  Just because Tanner couldn’t see how amazing you are-“Nursey tried, but Dex interrupted him.

“Stop, Nursey.  Just stop.  I-I don’t want to talk right now” Dex snapped.

“Ok,” Nursey said. “Ok.  How about I just sit with you, yeah?”

Dex nodded, and Nursey moved over to his bed.

“Could you-?” Dex asked quietly, before stopping.

“Could I what Will?” Nursey asked, knowing already he’d say yes to anything Dex asked of him, especially right now.

“Could you hold me?” Dex asked. “It’s ok if you don’t want to.  And I’m sorry for snapping at you.” He said in a rush.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nursey assured, pulling Dex close to him. “It’s all gonna be alright Dex.”

“How?”  Dex asked, pulling away slightly to look Nursey in the eye.  “How’s it all going to be ok?  My first boyfriend dumped me. I loved him so much Nurse. How is it all going to be alright?!”

“I don’t know yet Dex,” Nursey admitted.  “But it will be.”

They sat in silence for a while, Nursey holding Dex close as he cried.

*

The next morning, Nursey called for Dex before morning practice.

“C’mon Dexy!” he encouraged “We got pucks to hit!”

“I don’t really feel like it.” Dex said miserably. “I just wanna sleep”

“Sleep after practice man. I know you have a few hours off then.” Nursey said. “Practice might make you feel better you know.”

Dex stared at him a moment, thinking.

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely!” Nursey said with a grin.  “And I’ll bring over pizza later if you come.”

“And ice cream?” Dex asked, hesitantly.

“Of course bro!”

“Okay. Just…..gimme a minute” Dex said, and closed his door as he went to get ready.

Nursey smiled. This was progress.  He quickly text Chowder to let him know Dex was coming to practice, and not to mention Tanner.  By the time he received Chowder reply, Dex was ready to go.

*

Later that evening, Nursey called over to Dex’s dorm with pizza and ice cream.  He pulled up a movie on his laptop and they watched and ate in silence for a while.  It was nice.

By the time the movie ended, Dex was curled up against Nursey’s side, and Nursey had his arm around him.

“I just.  I really loved Tanner.” Dex said out if the blue. “And I know it’s dumb to be this upset over my first boyfriend but-“

“Being upset isn’t dumb Dex. You’re feelings are valid.” Nursey interrupted.  Dex looked at him considering, before he nodded, and then continued.

“It’s just. He was my first boyfriend. He helped me come out to my family, and supported me through everything with my brother afterwards,” Dex explained. Nursey nodded in understanding - he remembered how Dex’s brother had reacted to Dex coming out, and how it had affected him.

“And he helped me to feel more comfortable here.  I know this is Samwell, and there’s the whole “1 in 4” thing, but he helped me brave enough to go to Winter Screw with a date.  And it was such an amazing night.” Dex said, his eyes filled with tears. He was holding them back though, and Nursey realised how much he needed to get through this right now.  To get his feelings off his chest.

“It’s was amazing.” Dex said, “Our first screw together. He looked so good in his suit.  And he told me I looked handsome. No one ever said that about me before.  And he brought me flowers.  Plastic ones because of my allergies.  And we went to dinner first. He wanted to treat me but I argued and he let me split the bill.” Dex laughed at the memory, the sound surprising Nursey. “And then he bought us both desserts anyway. I was so stuffed by the time we got to the Screw; I didn’t think we’d be able to dance.”

“I can’t actually dance,” Dex continued with a sad smile “Tanner said he’d cover for me.  He led all the dances and I still stood on his feet like 10 times.  He just laughed every time.  Told me I was getting better, and I’d be a great dancer by our next screw.  An-and now we’re not going to be going together.” Dex wiped at his tears as they fell, but couldn’t stop them.

“I just. I don’t know why he dumped me!” he said angrily, voice hoarse from his tears.   He stood up, and began pacing the room as he spoke. “We were good together!  I was a good boyfriend. I talked to him about how I felt; I listened to him as well!  I helped him when he needed it, and did my best not to shut him out when I needed help!  I paid for dates just as much as he did!  I went to his swimming competitions when I could!  I didn’t pressure him to coming to the hockey games when he was busy!  I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS NURSEY!” Dex yelled. “I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID WRONG! WHAT DID I DO?” and then, quieter, looking at Nursey as though he might know the answer “What’s did I do wrong?”

“Will- you didn’t-. It isn’t because of you. Tanner just doesn’t see how great a boyfriend you were.” Nursey said, trying to comfort him.  He wasn’t really great at it though, but he was doing his best for Dex.

“If I was so great why’d he dump me?” Dex asked angrily.

“Because he’s an idiot.” Nursey said simply.  He surprised a laugh out of Dex, which he considered a good thing.

“Is he though?  I mean, he’s best in his classes.  He gets really good grades.” Dex said sadly.

“Yeah, but he dumped you. And that’s the dumbest thing ever.” Nursey said.  He wanted to tell Dex he would never do that to him, never break his heart into pieces like Tanner had.    But he knew now wasn’t the time.

“You’re too good for him Dex, and someday he’s going to see that and realise that dumping you was the dumbest decision of his life.” Nursey said instead.  Dex was quiet, staring at him in shock for a minute.

“You really think so?” he asked unsurely.

“I know so.” Nursey said confidently.  If he was Tanner, he’d be kicking himself right now.

“You really think I’m too good for Tanner?  Tanner, captain of the swim team?  Tanner, who everyone wants to be with?  Tanner, who’s funny and sweet, and kind, and -?” Dex stopped, as he felt tears coming on again.  “You really think I’m too good for him?”

“You really are Dex.” Nursey said. “You’re smart, and kind, and honest, and hardworking, and witty, and helpful, and.  And Tanner’s the dumbest man alive if he doesn’t see all that!” Nursey practically shouted the last part, and Dex stood looking at him.

“That-.  That’s …. Um… Thanks Nursey.” Dex managed after a while.  Nursey couldn’t read his thoughts from his face, but he hoped Dex didn’t know how close he’d just come to revealing his feelings for him.

Nursey sat uncomfortably on Dex’s bed, trying to change the subject in case Dex was about to ask him about that.

“Want to watch another movie?” he asked quickly.  Dex nodded, and sat next to Nursey on the bed again.  Nursey put on the first movie he saw, not really watching it, but watching Dex instead.  Dex, who looked sad and confused and angry and like he wasn’t watching the movie either, but was too deep in his own thoughts and feelings to even call Nursey out for staring at him.

Nursey was worried about him.

*

“You haven’t been to a kegster since you started dating him.” Nursey pointed out.

“Because they’re for drinking and hook-ups, and Tanner and I were exclusive.” Dex argues back.

“Just come for an hour, walk around with some tub juice, talk to the team, complain about Holster’s taste in music with me, eat something Bitty baked, and if you hate it, we’ll leave then.” Nursey tried.  Dex hadn’t been out of his room much apart from meals, class, and practise, and he was worried about him.  The whole team was worried about him.  Nursey would only be able to keep them all from arriving in Dex’s dorm in well-meant concern for so long.

“Half an hour.” Dex bargained.

“40 minutes.” Nursey responded, and Dex nodded his agreement.

“And no more?”

“And no less.”

This was a great idea.

*

This was an awful idea.

At first it had been good. They’d played pong, talked to the team, had some pie, and chirped Holster for his music taste.

Nursey had decided he needed some air, and Dex had come with him to the porch.  It was full of people, some talking, some drinking, and some making out.  They were mostly strangers, except for the girl with green hair from his poetry class, and her girlfriend, a guy from his crit group and his datemate, and

Tanner.

The guy he was making out with was a stranger though.

Nursey turned around, hoping to steer Dex back inside before he saw but it was too late.

“Tanner?!” Dex froze on the porch, shocked to see him.

Tanner pulled away from the guy he was kissing, and threw a look at him over his shoulder.

“Oh, hey Will.” he greeted casually.  Nursey wanted to punch him in the face.

“What….what are you doing?” Dex managed to ask.

“I’m just enjoying the party.” Tanner said, and turned back to the guy he was with.

“It’s our 6 month anniversary.” the guy he was with said happily.

“Your what?” Nursey choked out.  As far as he knew, Dex and Tanner had been dating for the last 7 months.

“But.  But you can’t be….Tanner and I were.  We were.  We.” Dex stuttered out in shock.  “We were together.”

“We were good friends, yeah man.” Tanner said.

“Good friends?  We were…..we were good friends?!” Dex said in shock.  “Tanner I-“

“Yeah, I’ll see you around man.”  Tanner said, and turned back to his boyfriend.

Nursey needed to get Dex out of there.

“Why don’t we go back to your dorm Dex?” he suggested, guiding him off the porch and away from the Haus.  Dex nodded and walked with him quietly, still in shock.

They were about halfway back to the dorm rooms when Dex stopped.

“He was cheating on me.” Dex said.  “He. He started dating someone. He.  Tanner was dating someone else.  He.  Nursey he was cheating on me.”

“Dex….Will.” Nursey had no idea what to say.  “I’m sorry Will.  He shouldn’t have done that to you.  He didn’t deserve you.”

“But he…I didn’t…I’m so stupid.” Dex said.  “I actually believed he loved me”

“You’re not stupid Will. You deserve better than that.  You didn’t deserve that.” Nursey tried. “You deserve better than that”

“I don’t.  i. I don’t know Nursey.  I.  I trusted him so much.  And he did this.   I…I- UGH.” Dex shouted, throwing his arms up in frustration  

“Hey, Will.  Dex.  Will.” Nursey said again, pulling him close to him.  “You’re ok.  It’s ok.” Nursey assured him.  “Tanners an idiot and you deserve so much better than an idiot.”

“Like who?” Dex asked, “Who do I deserve?”

“Me.” Nursey said, regretting it instantly.  Now was not the time.  

“You?  What?” Dex spluttered in shock.  He pulled away from Nursey and stared at him.

“I’m sorry, Will. That was inappropriate.  I’m so sorry” Nursey apologised, but Dex cut him off.

“You like me?” Dex asked.

Nursey nodded, holding his breath for Dex’s reaction.  He hoped against hope he wouldn’t be mad, or upset.

“I.  Derek” Dex ran his hand through his hair as he spoke, a nervous habit he’d picked up since starting at Samwell.    “Derek, I can’t right now.  This is too much.”

“I know.  Will I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.

“I just.  Can we talk about this tomorrow?” Dex asked, “I…I just want be alone for a while.”

“Will-“

“I’m going back to my dorm. Can we talk tomorrow?” Dex asked.

“Yeah.  Of course.  Anything you want.” Nursey said “I’ll see you tomorrow”

“Okay.” Dex said, and nodded to himself.  “Okay, I’ll see you then”

“Will you be ok getting back to you dorm?” Nursey asked.  

Dex nodded, and left, heading back to his dorm quickly.

*

Nursey showed up at his dorm at 10 am the next morning, hoping it wasn’t too early.  He stood outside for another 5 minutes, debating whether to knock now or not.  Steeling his nerves, he knocked, and Dex opened it immediately.

“Hey” Nursey said quietly.

“Hi” Dex said, “Um, you wanna come in?”

“Yeah, sure.” Nursey said, trying to sound casual.  He followed Dex into the room, and sat on his desk chair, as Dex sat on his bed again.

“So…” Nursey started after an awkward silence.

“So.  Um. About last night.” Dex started awkwardly.  “About what you said.”

“Listen, Will, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that.” Nursey apologised again.

“It’s ok.  It’s just.  I can’t be in a relationship right now” Dex said.  “I’m sorry Derek, but after everything with Tanner…” Dex stopped, swallowing back a sob.

“It’s okay, I understand Will.  I’d never push you into a relationship when you’re not ready.” Nursey said.

“Can we still be friends?”  Dex asked quietly, looking worried.

“Of course.  If you want to be.  I want to still be friends.” Nursey said.

“Yeah.  And.” Dex stopped, looking at Nursey nervously. “Maybe someday we could… maybe we could date?  I don’t know yet.  But maybe.”

Dex smiled at him nervously, and Nursey smiled back at him.

They were gonna be okay.

anonymous asked:

Hi. I just read an article where the actor playing Wally just came out as bisexual. I know this was a coldflash tumbler page but since you seem to like Wally I thought you might find that interesting. :)

http://www.etonline.com/news/217419_the_flash_star_keiynan_lonsdale_comes_out_as_bisexual/

!!!!!!!!!!

This is amazing thank you so much for sharing this is the best thing ever I love him so much

Originally posted by beadouble-u

look at this bisexual cutie :3 

(or pansexual? news reports gave him the bi label but his own post doesn’t specify which label he uses)