i’ve watched too much vanderpump rules and now i want a group of friends/employees that work at this hip nightclub and have lots of feels and dramas~ bartenders and djs and bouncers and bottle girls and everyone sleeping with everyone and drama.

  • hello friends meet another member of the hot dads club!!!!!!!!! (i know theres a group post somewhere idk where somebody tell me where n ill throw archer in thanx)
  • so archie is thirty-five years old and a hot ass lawyer thats a lot like harvey specter can i get a he’ll ya???
  • archer was married when he was twenty-five to the “love of this life” but turns out wifey was cheating on him for the past three years so he’s recently divorced as of two years ago
  • him and his wife had a little girl together though, and she’s around six years old and her name is mackenzie but archer calls her mickey or mack. 
  • and she’s pretty much the light of his life upon other things and the only good thing about the female race in his opinion
  • his wife has left him a bit jaded by women srry
  • also if u wanna make his wife hmu i’m 2 down for the drama
  • currently he’s a cradle robber bcuz he’s been dating dominka pavlova and they fight a lot and he’s planning on completely breaking her heart in two bcuz he’s been used in the past (shortly after his divorce) by even more girls that were trying to gold dig and he sorta thinks dom is one of those girls
  • but he’s also falling in luv w/ her lmao the struggle
  • but he rllllly wants to break her heart and ruin her as well so fck
  • archer gets annoyed very easily and rolls his eyes so FUCKIN’ MUCH LIKE HE COULD BE A TEENAGE GIRL W/ THE AMOUNT HE ROLLS HIS EYES
  • but he takes his job vvvv seriously and is one of the top lawyers in his law firm and he’s a bad ass bitch
  • he tries to stay as tough as nails most of the time. you will never see him cry or act upset. he will never let his feelings be known. 
  • so with that, he’s reallllllllllllllllly hard to read and can be very intimidating
  • (unless you see him w/ his daughter hahahahahah ow)
  • archer 90% of the time okay
  • i dunno what else to say right now but if somebody made him a best friend in his law firm id love u forever (mike n harvey feelings oW)
  • and then his ex wife would be tight ha ha ah
  • and just friends
  • okay idk bye love him
CALEB JONATHAN MERCER | 25, dave franco, the sage.

about caleb

  • being a law school grad student means that caleb sort of has tunnel vision, career-wise. being caleb mercer means that caleb Seriously Judges anyone who does not have said tunnel vision.
  • it’s a general rule that caleb prefers books to people tbh.
  • he’s super analytical and left-brain and, above all, logical and pragmatic - so much so, in fact, that he would rather pursue a more reasonable field like law than his ideal english major.
  • he generally doesn’t stand out? he’s not extroverted /at all/ and through p much all his life he’s blended into the background, social-life wise. he’s also veeery naive and un-worldly ie he is probably (definitely) still a virgin and probably (definitely) has never done drugs.
  • he’s busy with law school, god damn it!!!! he has no time for menial things like having a social life!!!!
  • he’s incredibly sarcastic and cynical and generally keeps up a constant unhelpfully pessimistic commentary at all times. but he still generally has good intentions. (sometimes. most of the time.) ie: he’ll list all the ways you can potentially get arrested but still be the getaway driver for whatever crazy plot you’re planning to hatch.

things caleb needs

  • i would love his sister! they’re fraternal twins and p…retty much opposites in that she probably doesn’t care at all about her future and is a party animal, unlike caleb where his is the only thing he ever thinks about. even so, he cares about her a lot and tags along with her and her party friends occasionally just to keep an eye on her.
  • he’s a part of uhmanduh’s friends’ group and they’re probably the only people exempt from the famous caleb mercer ‘what are you doing with your life’ judgment, and tbh i don’t really see him having very many other friends bc of how private of a person he is.
  • fellow cynical law students who can be broody and complain about human nature with caleb, mb? honestly i’m up for anything so hmu and we can plot!!!