yES I WASTED A WHOLE DAY ON THIS WHAT IS LIFE

I don’t play by the rules

Pairing: Peter parker x Stark! reader

Summary: Peter Parker falls hard for the new girl, and while he can’t do anything about it a certain masked hero might.

 word count: 2135

y/bf/n= Your best friend’s name

warnings: slight makeout? 

PART 2   PART 3

sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes, hope you enjoy it! Please tell me what you thought about it! :) 

ALSO! I! AM! TAKING! REQUESTS! SO! SEND! THOSE! IN! :)

Originally posted by tomshollandss

It happened on a Tuesday. A regular day you might say, however it was the day everything changed for Peter Parker. There he was on his chemistry class thinking it was just another boring class, another wasted hour, at least he thought that until the door opened, revealing the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Standing in front of the class was Y/n Stark. Everybody knew who you were, your dad was Iron man, for God sake! You came in the classroom with a designer outfit and bag that was probably more expensive than Peter’s whole wardrobe.

Peter continued to watch you as the teacher told you to seat right at the front of the class. Not only were you a really pretty girl, with the brightest smile and the kindest eyes, but you also had to be very intelligent, since this was the Chemistry AP class. Well of course she is intelligent dumbass! Her father is Tony Stark! She has obviously been in his labs before!

After that first time he saw you everything went downhill. He could never gather the courage to talk to you, let alone ask you out, so he settled for watching you from afar. She probably thinks I’m a creeper, Peter thought, however he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could watch as your smile got bigger when someone told you a joke, and how your eyes will get particularly bright whenever you got a good grade at math. He didn’t care about anything else.

Not long after your arrival to the school he got his so-called “stark internship”,  or his role as Spiderman. This didn’t change much for him. He was still a nerd loser and you were still  a popular girl that was way out of his league.

“Seriously dude! how come you’ve never even said a word to her?” Ned asked Peter as they made their way into the gym.

“Is not that easy Ned! She doesn’t even know I exist!”

“But you are like, totally in love with Y/!” Peter quickly muffled Ned’s mouth, stopping the boy from saying anything else.

“Geez Ned! Don’t you want to shout it to the world?!” Peter started lowering his hand and headed towards the group of people exercising. “You can’t just go around saying that! Someone might hear you!”

“I’m sorry but, like, I still can’t believe it! Don’t you see her everyday? in the, you know, Stark Internship?”

Since Ned found out about Peter being Spider Man he had made questions non-stop, pretty ridiculous questions, if you asked Peter.

“Ned I don’t just hang out at the Avenger’s tower you know? I have to be on the streets! Besides, she is totally off limits I mean! She is Mr. Stark’s daughter! He would kill me if-”

“Shhh- SHhhhhh! Peter listen!”

This time he was the one to shut up as both boys listened to a conversation happening at the bleachers across them. It was Y/n, looking as beautiful as she always did, surrounded by her usual crowd.

“Sooo Y/n, you must be surrounded by all those superheroes at your house right? You know, because of your dad?

“Well not all the time, but yeah, they hang out pretty often” She responded, trying to sound chill about the topic. Not everybody noticed, but Peter knew just how tired she felt about having to talk about his dad and the avengers all the time. None of the people that followed her around really knew her. Yes they knew about her life and her family, but besides that no one seemed to take interest in getting to know her for real.

That was kind of the reason why he prefered to hide his identity. Well, that and the possibility of being kidnapped and killed.

“Are you friends with them?”  “Are they nice?” “Are they hot?” “Is Captain America a real blonde?”

A load of questions were asked at you, however one catched Peter’s attention again.

“Are you friends with spiderman? Do you know who he is?”

“I’ve actually never talked to him, he’s never at the tower when I’m there” she replied shrugging her shoulders. She really was clueless to the hero’s identity.

“Seriously Y/n? Weren’t you supposed to be Spiderman #1 fan?” Y/bf/n asked, as she wiggled her eyebrows at Y/n.

A blush spread to the girl’s cheeks as she smiled shyly. Of course she had a tiny crush with Spider Man (even though she didn’t have a clue of who he was), however he never seemed to hang around the tower as the other Avengers. Maybe he liked being alone.

The conversation was quickly dropped after the coach told them all to get back to work, however Ned was not done.

“Dude! She likes you!” You have to talk to her tonight!”

“She doesn’t like me! She likes Spider Man, not Peter, besides-”

“I swear to God that if you don’t make a move on her tonight I will stop being friends with you! You have to promise me you will try! Deal?

“Deal”

Could it be possible that the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on had a thing for him? Even if it was the suit she was in love with Peter couldn’t stop the smile that crept through his face all day and the knot he felt on his stomach every time he looked at Y/n.

And that is exactly why he found himself later that night ready to go talk to the girl of his dreams. He already knew the crew will be out with Mr Stark in some mission he was not allowed, so that cleared the way for him. And anyways he was always welcomed in the tower, at least that what they always told him.

“You can do this Peter, you got this”

Peter tried to give himself a little of motivation before knocking on your door,however he couldn’t find the strength to raise his hand and knock on it, he felt like a bundle of nerves! None of his previous fights or encounters had him feeling this way, he seriously needed to control himself! Peter tried once again to knock on the door only to be stopped when the door opened completely, revealing Y/n in her pj’s and her glasses, apparently ready to go to bed.

Both teenagers looked at each other with complete shook in the faces, one behind his mask of course. The girl was completely speechless, she couldn’t believe the Spider Man was in front of her! And had seen her in just some sweats! She blushed deeply as she realised her appearance.

Peter tried to think of something, anything to say to her, however he couldn’t seem to find the words. After a long silence Y/n finally broke the silence as she leaned against the door.

“I can’t believe Spider Man is at my door! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The girl was trying to keep it together, however she was still freaking out, but she couldn’t let her stupid crush affect her! This was her chance to get to know him! She could feel her flirtier side creeping up, trying to smile wider and lean closer to the boy.

“Well- I umhh- I just wanted to- you know- visit my favorite Stark” Peter said as he tried to recover from his initial shook.

“Then I guess you are looking for my dad, however he is not around”

“I actually meant you, I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time now”

The girl was surprised by what the boy had just said. Did he know her? How come they had never met before?

Y/n started moving inside her bedroom once again, looking over her shoulder to continue “Since I’ve got no plans for tonight you might want to hang for a while, you know, to get to know each other and stuff”

Peter did not need to be told twice before he followed her around and into her room. Well, bedroom was an understatement to what her place really looked liked. It seemed more like a apartment of her own, with a big tv are, followed by what appeared to be her studio with a shit ton of books and finally her actual bed. She went into the couch in front the TV as Peter followed her close behind. She finally seated down facing the boy.

“Why are you here with me right now and not saving the world as usual?”

“Can’t a man take a break every once in awhile? Besides, I’m pretty sure your dad is taking care of that at the moment”

“You are probably right, sooo anyways..You said you had wanted to meet me for a long time, so here I am, what is it that you wanna know?”

“Well nothing in particular- it’s just that- you are- you are a really beautiful girl”

The girl felt herself blush at the words of the boy behind the mask. He probably did have a thing for her then? There was only one way to find out the truth.

Y/n leaned closer to Peter, looking into what she supposed were his eyes and took him by the shoulder as she played with the curls in the back of his head.

“So you think I’m a beautiful girl?” She said with a teasing voice, trying to make the boy a little nervous, obviously succeeding.

“The most gorgeous I’ve meet”

Peter could say this without any hesitation. Right in front of him was the most beautiful girl on earth. Her big eyes were looking at him and she was even closer than before, he was getting kind of nervous, but her fingers in his hair kept him just in place, right where she wanted him.

“So if I’m so beautiful, how come you’ve never paid me a visit before?”

She had started talking in mere whispers, now moving her other hand into his chest, playing with the material of his suit.

“I wanted to!- I totally wanted to but- you know your dad’s rules right? I’m not really allowed to”

She started to lift his mask, revealing only his mouth before saying.

“Well Spider-boy, you should already know I don’t play by my father’s rules”

Right after she finished she crashed her lips into Peter’s making the boy let out a surprised gasp. He was kissing her! They were kissing! He couldn’t believe it!

Meanwhile the girl was feeling exactly the same. She didn’t knew where she got the guts to do it, but she was glad she did.

His fingers sanked  into her hair as they continued kissing, Peter finally out of his trance brought his other hand to the girl’s face and cupped it, deepening the kiss further.

He felt himself biting into the girl’s lips, as a quiet moan escaped her lips. Y/n pulled apart only to straddle his hips with her thighs and roll her hips along the way, giving them both a little of the friction they needed, but not enough.

Peter grabbed her waist trying to pull her closer to him, his hand making their way to her legs, touching and stroking her thighs. They were heavy breathing, kissing longer, harder, rougher. Both teenagers tried to take and taste as much as possible, urgent and desperately, fighting for dominance.

He pulled apart and went straight for her neck, sucking and biting, leaving what would sure become hickeys by the morning. His morning somewhat bored with her long legs moved to her hips once again, before sliding under her t-shirt and holding her closer, moving his hand right under her bra.

The soft whimpers that would leave her mouth every time he bite a specific part kept him going. Another movement yet another time they would feel that friction and that need to pull harder at the other.

Y/n as getting pretty tired of that stupid mask getting in the way, so she pulled apart ready to get it off him, however a noise down the kitchen distracted her. She heard her dad’s voice calling for her! The whole team was there already? How had they missed it?

Peter realised the situation as well  as he quickly pull stood up and headed towards the window.

“I really have to get going, I’m sorry!”

“Will I see you again?”

Peter pulled the girl close to him for one last kiss, a long lingering one. A kiss he had dreamed over and over again.

“Sooner than you think”

With this last words the boy pulled his mask down and disappeared through the window, swinging his way from building to building.

Man! He could not wait to tell Ned the good news!

Reggie Mantle x Reader: Flower Power

Request:

A Reggie x Reader where the reader starts giving Reggie a flower each day and he’ll wear it in his hair and lots of fluff please?

 

A/N: This one was so cute to write, so I hope you guys enjoy. Also sorry for being a bit slow on uploading requests my cat likes to bother me while I write. Tomorrow I’m going to be busy, so don’t expect much tomorrow sorry. Also the reader will be a Lodge in this imagine and is moving in to Riverdale with her family after what her dad did.

Words: 1207

Summary: Reader is new to Riverdale and she hears all these rumors about Reggie Mantle from her sisters (Veronica) friend Betty, but she believes in goodness in everyone even Reggie.

Spoilers: N/A

Warnings: Reggie and Reader cuteness overload.

Moving was hard, moving away from all your friends and everything you’ve even known and starting from scratch was harder. Your mother Hermione always talked fondly about her time at Riverdale. She and your father grew up there and since your mother had some property there, you were now moving from the radiant awake city that was New York.

What made it easier was your sister Veronica, she was the more stylish one, and you were only a few months apart. She was your partner in crime, you don’t think you could survive without her.

You moved into Riverdale in the middle of the downpour. The chaos of a murderer on the loose and the beloved quarterback Jason Blossom life came to sad end.

Veronica made friends with a sweet girl named Betty in the summer and Betty introduced you to her friends. Kevin had no filter which you loved, Archie was complicated (but he was good at music and hoped to join the football team when school started a bit of a cliché). Jughead Jones the Third he claimed, was a bit of a mystery, but a great writer.

One day you were all hanging out in the park, when you saw him alone with his dog.

“Who’s that?” you interrupted the conversation and pointed at the tall figure with luscious black hair.

“That’s Reggie Mantle” Kevin answered.

“Reggie” you cheered and Veronica gave you a smirk.

“He’s kind of a player (Y/N)” Betty chimed in.

“So is Veronica, that doesn’t mean I can hate and judge my sister” you chuckled as she gave you a nudge in the shoulder as the group laughed.

“He’s also a bully” Jughead spoke while typing away on his laptop.

“Sorry that he bullies you, but bullies do have a reason for bullying even if it’s not the best argument, they have a reason” you reasoned.

“Why’d you think he bullies me?” Jughead retorted as he lifted his eyebrow.

“Oh, just a hunch” you replied with a smile on your face “I’ll be back” you shared with them as you stood up from the bench and walked towards Reggie, not wanting to be empty handed you picked up a daisy from the grass.

“Cute dog, does it have a name?” you gestured at Reggie.

“Vader” he answered as you reached your hand out to give him the daisy as he gave you a puzzled look.

“I come in peace” you reassured as you placed the small flower on his right ear.

“My name is (Y/N)” you pointed out as Vader was running after his tail.

“Reggie, you new around here?” he questioned as he fixed the daisy in his ear.

“That obvious, or is it the fact that in small towns everybody knows everybody” you chuckled.

“Well that, and you’re talking to me” he implied with a small smile.

“Well, I don’t know you and if I listened to what everyone had to say I could miss out on some great things” you claimed with a smile on your face and he chuckled.

You and Reggie actually became great friends. He confided in you on things he’d never say to anyone, you would even go jogging together every morning and you made sure to always have a flower for him, and he always sweetly placed it in his ear. He also promised to leave Jughead alone.

Tomorrow was going to be your first day at Riverdale High. Your mother, Veronica and you occupied the dinner table as Smithers brought you your food.

“So mija” your mother spoke “I heard you have been hanging out with Reggie Mantle a lot” your mother directed at you.

“Yeah, I have, he’s a really great guy” you claimed.

“Rumor has it-” your mother was cut off by you.

“Rumor has it what?! Mom, I cannot stand it when people label people before getting to know them. We are who are, not what people say we are. I am not a corrupt money taker like people claim because of my father’s mistake. Reggie is who he is, he shows a different side to the world and it is a privilege to know the real Reggie. Besides he just lost a friend to a murderer on the loose in your beloved Riverdale mom. I don’t want to hear any more of this.” You ranted and dropped your fork, now at a loss in your appetite because of your mother.

“I’m sorry (Y/N), I- I was out of line, and you are so correct” your mother concluded and Ronnie took your hand in hers.

The school day was about to start and Betty was assigned to show you and Veronica around. Betty pointed you to your first class as you scanned the hallways for Reggie to give him his flower of the day.

“Do you really think he’ll take your flower in front of the whole school and his neanderthals?” Ronnie questioned you as Betty gave you a small smile.

“If he doesn’t, then you were all right. I wasted my time getting to know a great guy who was too scared to show his true self to the world, and I’ll never speak to him again.” You proclaimed.

You left Betty and Veronica and made your way to Reggie who was at his locker with his posse.

“Hey Reg” you spoke up a bit nervous because you were really hoping he wouldn’t turn you down because you enjoyed hanging out with him.

“Hey (Y/N)” Reggie turned away from his posse.

“Hmm, you’re wearing a cap” you gave him a sad smile.

“That’s okay” he answered with a chuckle as he placed the flower on the hole of his snapback.

You couldn’t help but place a huge smile on your face as he showed of his flower of the day for all the school to see.

Later you were home alone your mom was working at Pops and Veronica was trying out for the River Vixens with Betty, since Smithers had just stepped and you jumped when you heard the doorbell ring.

A bit scared since you were binge watching Criminal Minds and there was a murderer on the lose you grabbed a bat and opened the door.

“Whoa! (Y/N) you can but the bat down it’s just me” Reggie removed the bat from your hands and dropped it as you let him in.

“What you got there?” you cheered at the bouquet of flowers Reggie had in his hands.

“Um” Reggie scratched his head as he still had his flower of the day on his forehead clinging from the snapback “I- I was hoping you would accompany me to the homecoming dance this Friday” he confessed as you took the bouquet.

“Oh my god” you gasped at the bouquet.

“Yeah um it has every single flower you have given me” he concluded as you pulled him into a hug.

As soon as he let go you planted a kiss on his soft lips and mentally thanked the universe for letting him into your life no matter what anyone said.

“So that’s a yes” Reggie cheered as you both let go.

“For you, a thousand times over (This is a quote from The Kite Runner)” you smiled.


Tag: @sgarrett49 @oharchiekinz 

Make fun of my kid? I'll get you back somehow.

So I am not sure if this belongs in @prorevenge, sense it wasn’t planned on my part. It kind of just fell in my lap. Feels more than petty, so here I am.

For a bit of background: My next door neighbor is/was a college student. She lives with our actual neighbor, her boyfriend. Typical crazy college kid. Weekend parties, drinking on her patio all hours of the night, and weird hours. You know the drill. I figured she was trying to experience college life, so why not? You do you lady!

Anyways one summer night last year she was sitting out on her back patio with her girlfriends doing their drunk thing. I am out wrapping up on some stuff with my toddler daughter. She at the time had a medical thing going on that caused her to walk a little weird. Nothing life altering and something that would heal with time. She did have a weeble waddle to her, especially when running. Sometimes she would fall right over. She was out running around with the dog and the ladies next door were waving and telling her how cute she was. All good.

Keep reading

I don’t mean to come off as aggressive, but truth be told, I’m about to utterly destroy this interview with Dove Cameron. I am not doing this because I don’t like her, I’m just infuriated by this theory. I am a reader, and I read the prequel books before watching the movies. This stuff doesn’t align with the books, and I’m peeved about it. All my fellow Divergent and PJO fans know that when a movie doesn’t follow the books, WE. GET. MAD!

Let’s start with the claim that Uma and Mal’s rivalry is partially based around Harry. Here is where that actually comes from. Uma and Mal were partners-in-petty-crime when they were little kids, kinda like bffs. One day, the two wanted to prank Cruella De Vil by dumping sea sludge on her. However, the sludge spilled and Mal slipped off the dock. Uma initially laughs at the accident, but she becomes panicked as she desperately searches for her friend, who also can’t swim. Mal never actually fell off the pier. She appears behind Uma and dumps a bucket of smelly shrimp on her head. The smell of shrimp never went away, and Mal nicknamed her Shrimpy. Since then, the two were always in competition. (“from the sandbox to the doomball court”) Their 13th bday parties were even on the same day. “Mal always came out on top.” Uma’s fury intensifies when Mal is selected to go to Auradon and not her. Uma is envious of Mal because she always beat Uma, and Uma just wants to win. Their bad blood is based on a gradual one-sided battle and years of jealousy. Basing it on a guy belittles Uma’s motives and makes her look petty. She’s not; she has millions of reasons to hate Mal, and none of them are Harry.

Now let’s talk about Evie. Actually, let’s talk about their whole gang’s origins. It started as Mal and Jay, the worst kids of Dragon Hall and partners-in-crime. Carlos was a runty nerd in school, and Evie was the new girl. She was castleschooled (homeschooled) her whole life because when she and Evil Queen were banished when they she was a kid. Why? Because her birthday party was the same day as Mal’s, and everyone went to Evie’s. Mal was upset, so Maleficent banished the Evil Queen and her daughter to a lonely castle. Bottom line, Mal started out hating Evie. When Evie goes to Dragon Hall, her first friend is Carlos, and neither are too keen on being evil. One day, Maleficent asks Mal to retrieve her dragon eye scepter from the Isle of the Doomed, and Mal hatches a scheme to make Evie grab it and fall into a death-like sleep. Thus, the rotten four is born. Mal brings Jay and invites Evie who brings Carlos. However, Mal develops as a person over the journey and saves Evie from death by grabbing the scepter herself (She only sleeps for a few minutes because she’s related to Maleficent). Bottom line is that Evie was not some replacement for a kicked out gang member. Uma was never apart of Mal’s gang because it started long after Uma and Mal’s rivalry began, and Evie was one of the original members of the gang anyway. Suggesting otherwise puts majority of Mal’s character development to waste and disregards her relationship with Evie. Also, Uma was never in her gang, but she constantly tried to join. Mal claimed she wasn’t big or bad enough, but she was actually threatened by the presence of leader who might just be as evil as her. Thus, the rivalry intensifies. Again, Uma has plenty of reasons to hate Mal.

The part saying Harry and Mal were each other’s first loves makes next to no sense. The evidence for this lies more in the first movie. First, Evie says Mal never had a boyfriend. Next, Mal says that there isn’t really dating on the Isle, just gang activity. Finally, she tells Ben that she doesn’t know what love is. Saying that Harry was Mal’s first love makes illegitimate Ben’s efforts to help Mal learn how to love. It’s Mal’s discovery of love that enables her to develop as a character and defeat her mother. Dating Ben was supposed to be what transformed Mal, and implying that she has loved another before makes her development in the first movie almost meaningless.

Now for the part about Harry getting dumped and joining Uma’s gang. Uma doesn’t get a crew until after the events of the first movie because she concludes that she needs one to beat Mal’s gang. Uma is described as Harry’s longest friend on the Isle, meaning he knew her before he knew Mal. And yes, THEY ACTUALLY SAID FREIND!! When they were young, Uma started ordering him around, and he let her(Gil was there too, but he drifted away and came back when he found out they needed a crew). When Uma says she wants a crew and a ship, she makes a bet with Harry. The winner is captain and the loser is first mate. Ya’ll can figure out who won. Anyway, Harry was always friends with Uma, and he joins Uma’s crew because he wants to, not because of a silly rivalry between former gang mates and a broken heart. There is no mention of a distaste for Mal on his part. In fact, when Uma is hell-bent on getting a crew so she can beat Mal, he wants her to lighten up and have fun with him by causing mischief or something. He doesn’t care about the kids in Bore-don; he just cares that Uma’s upset. The idea that Harry joins Uma’s crew in spite of Mal downplays Harry and Uma’s friendship.

In glorious conclusion, this theory makes a mockery out of the books written to support the movies. Why bother having Melissa De La Cruz write them if you’re not going to agree with the story line? I feel like the actors and directors should read these books so they understand their characters’ motivation. I mean, didn’t Dove Cameron do a promotional video for Rise of the Isle of the Lost? I thought she read it!

I’m not doing this in spite of Dove’s relationship with Thomas. Their personal life is none of our concern, and as a fandom we need to respect that. However, her story does harm to the canon in the following ways: it bases Uma and Mal’s years of tension on a guy and petty gang drama, it turns the beginnings of Evie and Mal’s relationship into a mere replacing of someone else, it turns Ben’s role as Mal’s reason to be good into a lack luster second rate, and it makes Uma and Harry’s relationship based purely on mutual hatred for Mal.

Their backstory is nice, but I ask that they keep their personal life and professional life separate. I really liked the books, but this makes them pointless. If they’re going to force this onto us, don’t expect me to believe a word of it. It lacks evidence from the written text, puts De La Cruz’s work to waste, and shoots down loads of character/relationship development.

Thank you for your consideration.

Passionfruit | 2

Namjoon is not at all what you expected him to be.

Originally posted by namxingruinedme

pairing: namjoon x reader
genre: smut
wordcount: 7.1k

part one



You were used to judgment.

It came in many shapes and forms. Men’s roaming gazes as you walked past. The way guys would leer at you, objectifying you with their stares and their wolf whistles. You were used to coming face to face with judgment. 

People made assumptions about you and always had. Guys you slept with always approached you and you knew they had seen you and made a snap judgment about who you were. Girls who saw you narrowed their eyes and protectively put a hand on their boyfriends knees when you walked past. People saw you and decided that they knew who you were, you didn’t have a say in the matter. In their eyes you were already the slut, the loose one, the messy one, and nothing you could say or do would change that judgment call.

So it had been a surprise when you had met Namjoon’s eyes last week and seen no judgment there.

Keep reading

Guilty Pleasure {BBH} (M)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Description: You and Baekhyun are best friends and you’ve lived together for three years now. It’s no news to you that Baekhyun sleeps around, but you do too…so what happens when he wants to be with someone as experienced as him? // Requested

Genre: Smut / Angst / Fluff all of the above??

Word Count: 2,432 (possible series?????? three parts at max tho I’m a busy lady)

Pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Reader (feat. Lay)

Author: Admin Xiufairy

Originally posted by ethereal-baek

“C’mon, you can’t say you haven’t thought about it.” Your best friend, Baekhyun, nudged your arm. “There’s no shame in it. It’d be nice to be with someone who finally knows what they’re doing.” You put your cup of coffee down and looked at him from across the table.

It was no secret that Baekhyun slept around, but you liked to keep things under wraps. As long as the boys didn’t know, everything was fine. Baek, being your best friend, found out on his own. You weren’t planning on telling him either.

You’d been living with Baekhyun for a couple years now - it was originally just for a few weeks until you could find a place of your own but the two of you quickly grew close.

Keep reading

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, bee. - He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a bee. - Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. - Her name’s Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. - And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that
—  The Bee Movie
Dangerous Man (John Wick x Reader)

Originally posted by anothermoviepage

Working at The Continental isn’t at all what you thought it’d be. 

SPOILER FREE FIC.


You smoothed out your shirt and looked in the mirror. It was your first day on the job. You were decked out head to toe in brand new clothes. All from a designer you’d never heard of. All custom made to fit you perfectly.  All completely free. On top of that, you’d be making a salary that, at entry level, was six figures. And all you had to do was deliver room service.

But there was a saying you’d heard since you were young: If it’s too good to be true, then it probably is.

You should have suspected something was off when you had to give a blood sample, a urine sample, a DNA swab, and answer a thirteen page questionnaire that included things like “list the full names of your parents, siblings, and grandparents” or “do you have any experience with sutures, cauterization, or CPR?”

And then the interview, itself, felt more like an interrogation. The whole thing gave you this weird feeling in your gut, but this was also the most exclusive hotel in New York City. Getting a room here wasn’t about whether or not you had the money, but whether or not you knew the right people, and even then, it was typically booked solid. You’d even heard a rumor that The Queen of England was denied a room once. Of course they’d be picky about their staff.

But after the lengthy interview process and dozen or so signatures on papers you probably should have read, you found out the truth about The Continental.

The manager’s name was Winston. He was nice enough, though he had a very “no nonsense” attitude about him. The more you found out about the place, though, the more you understood why. It was a safe haven for a secret society of people. Assassins. Hit men. Gang Lords. The underground elite of not only New York, but the entire world. The only currency accepted from customers were gold coins. One gold coin was the equivalent to one favor. It was a simple system, Winston explained, but complex to newcomers. You’d pick it up over time. All you needed to know was that if you got a coin, you kept a close eye on it.

Additionally, the hotel followed a strict set of rules, but the two that most concerned you were that staff was never to ask questions, and no business could ever be conducted on hotel grounds. The latter of the two should have made you feel safer, but instead, it just made you more nervous.

Upon the conclusion of your meeting with Winston, he presented you with a single gold coin. You looked at him curiously. He smiled, and said simply:

“A welcome gift.”

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sun’s out, fun’s out

Summary: the Barnes family spend the day at the beach || FLUFF || bucky x reader

Warnings: none, just cuteness

Notes: inspired by @retroasgardian trying to kill me with cute headcanons; here we have Bucky with three kids - Samuel Grant (who goes by Grant), Anna Margaret, and little Rebecca Natalia.

I might make a dad!bucky series idk, who would want that?

MASTERLIST

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2

Brother! I have not become downhearted or low-spirited. Life is everywhere life, life in ourselves, not in what is outside us. There will be people near me, and to be a man among people and remain a man for ever, not to be downhearted nor to fall in whatever misfortunes may befall me — this is life ; this is the task of life. I have realised this. This idea has entered into my flesh and into my blood. Yes, it’s true ! The head which was creating, living with the highest life of art, which had realised and grown used to the highest needs of the spirit, that head has already been cut off from my shoulders. There remain the memory and the images created but not yet incarnated by me. They will lacerate me, it is true ! But there remains in me my heart and the same flesh and blood which can also love, and suffer, and desire, and remember, and this, after all, is life. On voit le soleil! Now, good-bye, brother! Don’t grieve for me!

…When I look back at the past and think how much time has been wasted in vain, how much time was lost in delusions, in errors, in idleness, in ignorance of how to live, how I did not value time, how often I sinned against my heart and spirit, — my heart bleeds. Life is a gift, life is happiness, each minute might have been an age of happiness. Si jeunesse savait! Now, changing my life, I am being reborn into a new form. Brother! I swear to you that I shall not lose hope, and shall preserve my spirit and heart in purity. I shall be reborn to a better thing. That is my whole hope, my whole comfort!

From Dostoevsky’s letter written at the Peter and Paul Fortress in St. Petersburg to his brother Mikhail on December 22, 1849. He had been condemned to death (only to be revealed as a mock execution at the last moment) and had written a farewell the day before his supposed execution. 

Do Kyungsoo//Denouement

Originally posted by smileysoo

Summary: The world is black and white to everyone. At least, until they reach 18, and realise who their soulmate is or meet them for the first time - and then colour will burst into their life, one shade at a time. You’ve been desperate to graduate high school and move away, but you can’t run from fate. - ft. big brother Yixing 
Scenario: Soulmate!au 
Word Count: 5,977

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hiiii, here are a bunch of fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of february. I recommend that you read these great fics in march, if you haven’t already. there are SO many good and unique AUs this round, so please check them out!!

(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)


1. Saved Tonight (30k)**

Harry is the world’s most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis’s biggest fan. Louis hasn’t written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It’s probably destiny.

2. Too Real to Fake It (82k)*

With seven years of blissful marriage behind them and four wonderfully unique kids to brag about, Harry and Louis seem to finally have life all figured out and under control. How much more real could it get?

Very real it turns out, when Harry reluctantly leaves home for a 5 day business trip leaving Louis to manage their rambunctious, hyperactive household. Do they really have it all under control or are they just faking it?

Featuring all the usual suspects, inside jokes, embarrassing moments and of course, Harry and Louis’ wild antics + the addition of their four equally wild and outrageous kids.

3. When You Look Like That (16k)*

“You… you still have the dress form I got you for your eighteenth birthday? You’ve kept it for ten years, Harry?” Louis’ eyes flick around Harry’s studio. It’s big and modern, with floor to ceiling windows that help flood the room in bright sunlight, just like the lobby. However, he can’t stop staring at the faded, but present, heart surrounding the “H + L” written delicately in Louis’ handwriting in the center of the mannequin.

Louis is a songwriter who is nominated for a Grammy and he needs a suit. Fast. He seeks out help from a very popular, very mysterious designer who just so happens to be his ex-boyfriend.

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if by chance

soulmate au | college au

↝ pairing: mark tuan | reader

↝ genre: fluff + soft angst 

↝ word count: 8.825

author’s note: uh, so it turns out i’m a sucker for soulmate aus. thanks anon for requesting! hope this is as fluffy as you wanted!!


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Missing Homework (SMUT)

Namjoon x Reader Smut (Teacher AU)

Word Count: 2049

Your POV

“Dammit, I should have just copied the work off someone else,” you thought as you stayed behind for lunch as your teacher had something to “discuss” with you. You knew it had to do with the ton of missing assignments that you had been putting off. It wasn’t your fault you had to practically take care of your parents and siblings! And really, you didn’t exactly find his subject very interesting, so why waste your time.

“Good luck!,” your friend called before she closed the door behind her, leaving you and your teacher, Mr.Kim, alone in the room. His room was rather simple, as expected from the rather blunt male. He was rather notorious for giving straight forward answers and opinions, but every student knew he was a very kind and gentle man at heart. He had a soft spot for individually helping kids when they were really struggling if they approached him.

Yet, there was something about him that was rather…oppressive. Maybe the way he walked with his long legs, crossing the rather large classroom in a mere second, or the way his eyes would squint at you as you read a passage, burning up your cheeks. He was always so commanding and in control, and you loved it.

Namjoon POV

There she stood, with her hunched shoulders and feet shuffling in spot. Her obedient tendencies, to say yes at every question and divert her eyes when he looked at her, brought out a different side of him. A side not all women enjoyed it, but, perhaps, young Miss (Y/N) would.

Of course she was wearing her school uniform, the navy and green plaid skirt riding a bit high from just having stood up. The white, longsleeve button down straining just a bit over her breats, and the small, black scarf tied loosely around her neck. Her knee high socks clung to her tanned legs, her slight heels gave her calves a small enhancement and caused her to walk with a bit of a sway . A striking image of a sweet, innocent, submissive schoolgirl.

“What did I do in my past life to get this kind of opportunity,” he thought with a slight smirk playing on his lips.

Third Person POV

“Come sit (Y/N),” Namjoon said. In his usually, slightly rough, voice.

(Y/N) walked across the room, her heels slightly echoing in the emptiness, only increasing what felt like a thundercloud of tension, possibly sexual?

You take a seat and place your hands on your knees, not crossing your legs.

“I’m sure you are aware of why I had you hang back to speak with me?,” Namjoon asked

“Sir, I know I haven’t done most of my work, I’m really sorry I just don’t hav–”

Namjoon cuts you off, “It’s alright I understand, you are a growing lady and your responsibilities have increased,” he says. With a rather calming tone in his voice. “However, I have too keep them as zeros until I get some work from you, why don’t you stay here for the next few lunches and try to get some work done during the day?”

“Stay in a room, with just me and Mr. Kim, for a whole 45 minutes? And he expects nothing to happen? I’ll die of tension if I have to stay here with him,” you think. But at the same time, you know you have to get this work done.

“Alright, I’ll try and finish as much work as I can!” you say in the most motivated way you can muster.

10 minutes later

“God if I have to put up with looking at her for another minute i’m going to explode.”

“How can he just sit there and still look so powerful?”

“Fuck this…”

You look up and see Namjoon standing on the other side of your desk, looming over you.

“Y-Yes, Mr.Kim,” you manage to stutter, trying not to bring ur eyes down to the level of his pelvic region, which happened to be at a perfect height for you.

“(Y/N), come to my desk please,” he says, his voice a bit deeper than before.  

You almost stumble getting up, and walk with Namjoon over to his, rather large, desk. You stand at a corner while he crosses in front of you and takes a seat on his chair. He subtly runs his eyes up and down your figure, slightly noticing your feet shuffle, your trademark sign of nervousness.

“Come sit,” Namjoon says as he pats his thigh. You almost fall backwards in shock at the random request, and Namjoon simply smirks and grabs your wrist to bring you onto his lap. Your knees fold in between his thighs as you feel you ass resting on the fabric of his pants.

You try not to face him, for his face is a mere inch from yours. You can feel your cheeks heating up and you heartbeat getting louder by the second.

You tried squirming to get your skirt under your ass to stop your further wetting core from getting onto his pants, but Namjoon wraps his long arm around you and squeezes your waist.

“Um, M-Mr.Kim, what a-are you doing?” you manage to finally say.

He pulls his lips up into his signature smirk and moves his other hand to you hip wrapping you in his arms. “Now princess, we both know that something was bothering both of us,” he starts, his eyes staring all over you causing you to slightly squirm more, “and I think it’s better if we just address it before you can finish up you work.”

At that flipped you so you were facing him and straddling his legs, his chest touching yours. You squeaked in surprise at the quick movement, and felt his breath on you. He grabbed your chin and forced you to face him. His eyes looking over your whole face as he smirked and ran his thumb across your cheek, “look how soft my princess’s skin is.”

“M-Mr.Ki-” he silenced you with his lips on yours.

“Hush baby girl, and I’m no longer Mr.Kim okay?” He picked you up by your thighs and placed your back onto his desk. “I’m daddy from now on.”

“Y-yes daddy.” You had no idea where this was going, how you got here, but you just knew that you liked it, you liked it very much.

“Good girl princess, that sounds so good coming from your pretty little mouth.”

He slides his hands down your clothed chest and untied your scarf, then he began unbuttoning you blouse, so slowly and meticulously, savoring every new bit of skin. He took off your shirt and looked down at you. Already so hot with just your light pink bra and small skirt riding up to where he could see your matching panties. He licked his lips just imagining violating ur precious little body.

“Look at me princess, give me your wrists,” he commanded as he undid his tie. You simply looked up at him and obliged, biting you lips. He tied his tie on your wrists binding your two hands, the soft fabric tightening on your skin with every knot. Namjoon kissed your knuckles and let your hands fall above your head.

“Now, you need to make sure your hands stay above your head okay baby girl? You don’t want to make daddy upset on your first time, do you?”

You meekly shook you head, “No daddy.”

“Will you be a good princess for me?”

“Yes daddy”

“That’s what I like to hear.” He smirked and kissed you softly.

Namjoon moved down to your chest, pulling each breast out of their cups. He brought his head down and began suckling on one while kneading the other and pinching your tits. His tongue swirled around one bud and then he transferred sides, showing love to each. His thick lips perfectly encased your tit and his fingers playfully teased the other. All you could do was gasp at each touch and moaned lie never before.

“Is my princess already so enthralled? Daddy hasn’t even gotten started yet baby girl.” He joked, noticing your already helpless state.

“D-Daddy please, oh god, daddy you feel so good.”

“My baby girl is so good. Look at you, already coming undone for me.” He went down again, slightly biting you bud. Causing you to gasp and whimper slightly at the soft pain.

Namjoon moved down your body, leaving soft butterfly kisses across your belly, giving you goosebumps. Reaching the line of your skirt, he slowly pulled it off, admiring the progressive appearance of you soft pink panties with small white lace borders. He threw your skirt off to the side, again staring about your beautiful body.

He smiled at your panties and ran his index under the band, “these look so good on you princess, I’ll have to buy you more sets like these.” He bent down over your body, pressing you under his chest, his groin slightly brushing yours. “My baby girl should always look this precious,” Namjoon whispered in your ear before pulling back and kissing you again.

Hooking one finger under your panties again, he slipped them off, smirking at how soaked they already were. As he tossed them, he marveled in how absolutely sinful you looked. Your cheeks were burning red, your breathing shallow, and you body glistening in a light sheen of sweat. Your pussy practically dripping for Namjoon to just lick right up.

“Princess, you look so beautiful right now, daddy is thinking of all the ways he could fuck you up right now.” Namjoon says as he runs his thumb on your knee.

“Daddy please, daddy I- I need you, p-please,” you manage to get out in between choppy breaths.

“Tell me what you want from me baby girl,” Namjoon says, his voice going husky and his hands lightly skimming the skin of your inner thigh. It gave you goosebumps and only made you breathe harder.

“I want daddy to lick me, please daddy,” you plead through moans.

“That’s it baby girl,” he says as he lowers his head to your dripping pussy, “Look how pretty you are princess.”

Namjoon takes his tongue and runs in once through your folds, watching you shiver and moan. Then, while his thumb rubs your clit, he sucks you into his lips, licking up every drop on your core. He works his tongue in between your folds, and slips it in and out of your pussy.

“Oh daddy yeessss, keep doing that, please daddy,” you moan. Namjoon’s lips and tongue overflow every sense you have, his soft lips encasing you.

“Yeah princesses, you like it when daddy licks ur sexy little clit baby girl? Daddy can do this all day sweetheart, I’m here to make my princess feel so special.”

“Daddy, don’t stop daddy, I’m gonna cum.”

“I wanna taste my baby girls jucies, cum for me my sexy little princess.” Namjoon says as he continues to wrap your pussy in his soft lips.

You feel your whole body come undone, your legs buck under the pleasure, and you cum all over your daddy’s face.

Namjoon looks down at you again, after having licked up you cum. You were still breathing hard and your legs still shaking. Your eyes were closed and slowly opened to meet his gaze. 

“Princess, do you know how fucking sinful you look right now,” Namjoon says with his sexy smirk back as he pulls you up off the desk, holding onto your shoulders to help you keep your balance. He takes your chin again and places a light kiss on your lips and sets another on your forehead.

“Now lets get you dressed, hmm?”

He helps you gather all your clothes and puts your shoes back on. “You know baby girl, you have to come back next lunch to finish up your other work,” he says with a devious smile.

“Don’t worry daddy, I’ll make sure to get all my work done next time.” You reply, a small smile playing on your lips at the new name you have for your teacher.

“That’s what daddy likes to hear, princess,” Namjoon playfully growls in your ear, grabbing your ass through your skirt.

“See you tomorrow.” 

Old Dog, New Tricks: Part Four

Summary: Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were known to be your soldiers across the hall. Whenever you needed them, they were there. It never crossed your mind that one day, after coming to terms with just how inexperienced Bucky was with getting back in the groove of romance - you find yourself now helping him in a way you never expected. Sex.                                  

                                                  Part One

                                                  Part Two

                                                  Part Three

Word Count: 2,490

Notes: Cursing, NSFW, 18+ (smut)

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Acting - Dylan O’Brien (Smut)

Song: Alessia Cara - Wild Things

Rating: MA (17+ for Explicit Content)

Pairing: Reader x Dylan O’Brien

Word Count: 3,191

Warning: Exhibitionism(sort of), Oral (M>F), NSFW

NO LONGER TAKING REQUESTS!

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The first time a boy told me, “you fight like a girl”, I was six years old. My answer was to kick him in the knee so hard he cried for the whole day.


The first time someone told me, “you are too fat to be pretty”, I was eleven years old and I didn’t eat dinner for a week. My mother didn’t know what was wrong. I soon learned that it didn’t matter if I didn’t eat, any girl–and yes, even the skinny girl whose ribs you can trace over the fabric of her shirt–thinks she is too fat to be pretty.


The first time someone told me, “you can’t be smarter than boys because it intimidates them”, I was sixteen. And it was the first time my heart broke.


They tell me girls should be polite, should sit with their legs closed, shouldn’t laugh too loud. Girls should be agreeable. Girls should act gracefully. Girls should walk straight with their heads high, but not too high, because you don’t want to be mistaken as too prideful. They say boys like girls who have brains but intelligence in a woman apparently doesn’t matter anymore if her chest size is big enough.


They tell me I’m too loud for a girl. Too headstrong, too stubborn. They say I have too many opinions. I dive too fast into arguments. They tell me I’m too rough and unrefined. Too big. Too brave. When a gentleman asks to carry my bag, I ask to carry his in return. They say I’m too smart, that I scare the boys away. They call me selfish when I think of myself first before I take into consideration a boy’s ego. They say I’m too much for a girl.


And for the life of me, I have never understood this. Why is the phrase “fight like a girl” an insult, when the cruelest and toughest fighters I know are all girls? Why must I close my legs when I sit and take care not to take up extra space while they sprawl their legs freely and act as if they own the place? As a teenager, why was I told to watch what I eat and be careful not to get fat while boys were considered “growing children” and were fed whatever they wanted? Why must I be any less than what a boy is, in order to be considered the perfect girl?


‘Girl’ does not always mean ‘soft’. It does not always mean dainty hands and curled eyelashes and pastel pink dresses. It does not always mean 'mellow’. 'Girl’ does not always mean an hourglass waistline. ‘Girl’ does not always mean 'fragile’. 'Girl’ does not equate to weakness. 'Girl’ is not an insult.  


If I have to be dumber than a man before he could consider loving me, then he is not the type of man I want to love anyway. I have no time to waste catering to a boy’s wounded pride. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have the figure of a model–my weight does not determine my worth as a person. I don’t need a man’s validation to consider myself beautiful. And yes, you know what? I am fat. I am fat and brilliant and stubborn and smart and headstrong and I fight without mercy and I sit with my legs apart and I walk fast with my chin up and my high heels clicking against the tiles with all the pride of a queen.


I am a hurricane of emotion, a jumbled mess of strengths and flaws, forever in the balancing act of 'too much’ and 'not enough’, I am a reckless dreamer with a titanium spine and a heart of glass.  


And I am a girl.


There is no reason I cannot be all of this at once.

—  define “girl”
Vegas

Vegas | Tease | Oops | D | Game | Mistake

Note: Whoo! Two days in a row, go me. I think I’ve got my mojo back.

Requests:  

  1. fluff. daveed. this is all i ask for. maybe a little smut?😏😏
  2. dom daveed SMuT pLS
  3. Diggs + smut = my request
  4. PLSPLSPLS MORE DAVEED SMUT IAM A TH I RST Y BITCH JAHJ
  5. Daveed x reader where reader claims that she always has to fake orgasms when she’s with a guy and he says that he can change that and it ends it smuttttt

Word Count: 2711

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader

Warnings: SMUT and lots of it

“So a guy’s never made you come before?” Oak asked with his jaw hanging a bit open.

“Nope,” you said nonchalantly while scrolling through your Twitter mentions.

It was intermission of the second show of the day and you, Oak, Anthony, and Jasmine were all hanging out in Oak’s dressing room, talking about random topics. Now, the topic seemed to be focused on you because you had accidentally let the fact that you had never had a real orgasm during sex slip into the conversation.

“Ever?” Anthony pressed in disbelief, somehow not believing you.

“Never ever.” You confirmed, looking up to see all three pairs of eyes on you. “What?”

“Do you tell them what they’re doing wrong?” Jazzy asked.

“With the first couple of guys, yeah, but after a while, I just stopped because it wasn’t working anyway. I didn’t want to make them feel bad about themselves, so I just started faking orgasms every time. I just finish myself off after they go to clean up or something.” You shrugged.

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“Azriel?” Elain said into the darkness. Her breath was warm on his chest.

“Hmm?”

“You live alone.” It wasn’t a question, but he hummed a yes. “Sometimes I feel as if I live alone.”

She was lying on the floor beside him, tucked into his arm. He’d been ready to let her sleep on his bed, had made himself a place to sleep on the couch, but she’d refused. She’d said the couch would be too small for him and that she wouldn’t feel right taking his bed. He’d allowed it. 

But then he’d gotten to his barren room. The mattress low to the floor on a wooden frame he’d made all those years ago. He’d taken one look at it and had pulled the sheets, dragging them to the living room where he’d decided to sleep on the floor.

He’d told himself it wasn’t because he hated sleeping alone, or because he thought Elain needed a friend, or because there was nowhere he’d rather be than next to her…

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