xtn

Nagising ako sa tapik ng papa ko. Nagising sa isang panaginip. Tulala lang ako. Buong akala koy totoo ang lahat. Nandito ka sa tabi ko. Nagseselfie pa nga tayo. Masayang masaya tayong dalawa. Di ko yon naramdaman nung nandito kapa. Dun ko lang nakita kung gano ka kasaya. Dun ko lang nakita yung ngiti mong makikita sa mata. Nagmamadali pa ko. Sinusulit ko yung oras na nandito ka. Nagkukulitan lang tayo. Hindi ko man lang nasabi kung gano kita kamahal. Ngunit pag dilat ko wala ka. Nasa totoong mundo nanaman ako kung saan wala kana sa buhay ko. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako dahil nakita kita. Ngunit mas nanaig ang kalungkutan. Sinabayan pa ng malakas na ulan. Gusto kitang kamustahin pero di ko alam kung pano ko sisimulan. Madae kong gustong itanong. Alam ko masaya kana. Di ko rin sigurado kung mahal pa rin kita. Siguro namiss lang kita. Tagal na rin nung huli kitang nakita. Siguro hanggang sa panaginip nalang. Siguro nga.

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Via Fashion TV - Xuan-Thu Nguyen Fall 2011 - Paris Couture Fashion Week…. Fierce couture meets feminine sophistication

#couture #fashion #runway #xtn #fashionweek #fallfashion #nlcollectivegroup

YOU GOT ME

This crazy feeling of denying that I like you. It’s too much, too much to bare. It was all just a cute way of saying I like the way you act even though we just met but I’m not really quite sure if I like you. Am I too late or you didn’t wait for me? Talking to you face to face asking how it was when you’re with her and deep inside me wishing that I hope I met you earlier; before the day you decided to love her. I know this is weird and creepy but this is how I feel. I can’t help but to look for you, talk to you or even just look into your eyes and smile while you’re talking none sense about your new girlfriend. Don’t worry, this won’t last any longer so please just let me. Let me do this so when the real time comes, I’ll be thanking you that you loved her and we didn’t meet before. :)

This is the first time I spent 500+ pesos for just a book and so I’m planning to read this longer that I should HAHA jk!

I was just looking for something to read, like the other books I usually read because I finally just finished a very good book. When I was searching for books online, I saw the reviews and comments to this book and I think it’s something for me to read and so I decided I should buy one. I thought it already has a soft bound and I think the hard bound kind is a little bit expensive but I still bought it, you know :))

And I think it’s worth it. I know it’s worth it.

John Green’s a great author of novels and this book will change my perspective in life hehe I know it will ;)

Bur, 19, Size 12

180 lbs. - 5'3

I have been very insecure with my weight because I am surrounded with model-like closest friends. I’ve been struggling about every way I could lose weight when I really choose to puke at the mirror when I look at my naked body.

I learned how to love my curves when I gained the confidence to myself. I now eat healthy food and exercise daily with my dog. I’ve been telling my family and friends that I don’t do the healthy living because I hate my size or I hate my weight. I just choose to be healthy because I love my body, I don’t want to abuse it and I want to live longer and healthier.

I love who I am and who I’ve become now. Neither my body nor my weight won’t stop me from believing that I am beautiful. I’m embracing my curves and so I am embraced by the world.

:)

Then again someone has proved me right. Right about people won’t last long in your life. They just always leave you. Some will take it slowly then out of your life, some will just unexpectedly disappear.

The truth is, everyone will leave you, you just have to accept the fact that when you let people in, they will destroy you. They will make you feel that out of this world feeling then will finally vanish, without you even noticing it.

Sometimes, I wonder. Am I really that hard to handle? That no one may ever think that I’m worth it?

Nothing really is permanent in this world. It is just only up to you how you will take and let go of things. Either you will let it satisfy you and just hurt you in the end.

I never thought I’d be this scared to fall in love again, is it maybe because I took every risk that came my way? Now, there’s nothing left for may be the right one. Now, I don’t know how or what to feel anymore; it’s just so sad though that I ran out of confidence in finding the right one (this early)

Well now I know, I’ve learned enough, I guess? and I hope. Now that I’m not looking for anyone anymore, just settling for the one-sided love I got used to, here comes someone coming my way..

He was someone very unexpected, a complete stranger and being very spontaneous, he found me. 

From the day he started talking to me, played mind games just to keep me talking to him, getting my attention; it has almost been 2 months since. From that short while, I have met him once but still talks to him everyday. 

This is very unusual for me. I’m not used to entertaining a complete stranger, I tried to push him away many times but he says he’s planning to stay. I’m not so used to someone wanting my attention, getting to know me everyday and actually from a guy, someone unimaginable. This very different feeling he’s showing me, giving me unsure feelings as well.

Saying that I am now afraid to take more risks ‘cause I’m also afraid that there will be nothing left anymore. This feelings are crazy, far crazy enough for me to actually have for him. I over think, a lot. Thinking about how things should go or should not go. My mind can’t relax. This is weird because I haven’t really known him well and he actually have no definite idea who I am.

I think this is may be the best part. The part where you get to know the person well enough if you’d want him, being friends with him, getting comfortable with him. Until the part where you’d want to date him already, letting that person know that through those times, you’re accepting him and wanting for him to share his life with you. (and this I guess what I learned from his perspectives)

All of these has questions running almost everyday through my mind.

What if he’s not planning on anything, only just wanna be friends with me? or he liked me but realized that I will only be good as a friend for him? Am I just wasting my time or may be should  I flirt with other guys because he’s just a complete friend? And there’s a long list where those came from.

Being this new me (I guess) is very hard because I don’t get to control what I really should do, what the right thing that I should do about 'him’ situation. I always keep asking, doesn’t he want to see me or he’s just busy at work? (Well of course with this thought out of over thinking, and there I go again) and wanting to ask him out because talking to him everyday just ain’t enough for me.

Honestly saying, I’m investing already here. I don’t want another loads of waste anymore. It’s just that he’s taking it much slower than I could ever imagine. I have not ever been in a real relationship before and I’m afraid that he might be just another load of bullshit. That, I hope wouldn’t happen, 'cause i really am tired of that

I’m not saying that I like him but I really am investing here already or to say that I’m starting to. I have not much talked about him here since I don’t wanna think about him that much after thinking about him almost everyday.

And I really think this is long enough, I have said too much but may be not enough to really tell what’s in my mind. But to you boy, I hope this won’t be the last blog that I am positive about you. Please hold on to your words, I hope you’re just happy the way I am happy with you.

I just completely enjoy you.