x villains

things we talk about a lot: emo amvs to linkin park

things we don’t acknowledge as much: het pairs that are like villain guy x good girl with songs like Addicted by Kelly Clarkson and Always by Saliva over them and theres always strategic black and white sections of the video 

6
The Joker x Reader *Happy Birthday”

Mister J never wants to tell you how old he is but you don’t give up. Nobody is supposed to know nothing personal about the Joker. But damn it, you are not a nobody!!

You’ve been trying to get it out of him since like…forever.

You always try to guess and he would just mislead you:

“Puddin, are you… 37?”

”Close enough, doll,” he grins at you, satisfied to see you so worked up about it.

“40?!”

“Almost got it, Pumpkin.”

“38?!”

“It’s possible.”

“42?!” At this point your voice is high pitch and it amuses him to death. Why does he have to be such a jerk?

“Ahhhh, Kitten, you’re so close,” and he just leaves the bedroom, snickering. Your mouth is open, attempting to breathe in some air; you are so annoyed right now. No matter what number you tell him, J would never admit to it. You feel childish, but you really want to know, what’s the big deal?!

So you came up with a different strategy.

Every day you give him a birthday card, a cute cupcake with a lit up candle (that he refuses to blow) and no matter what he does, you just start singing Happy Birthday.

*Aha, there he is watching TV.*

“Happy Birthday to you…”

He cuts you off (like he usually does):

“NO!!!” he doesn’t look happy but you don’t care.

“If you want this to stop, Puddin, you just have to tell me how old you are,” you fake smile in a way that he would notice.

“Go away, Pumpkin!” he growls at you and you just lift your shoulders, plant the card on his knees, turn around, blow the candle and head towards the kitchen to eat the sweet present.

*Aha, he’s going over paperwork in his office.*

“Happy Birthday to you…”

“Seriously, Y/N ?!!! Shut up and put it to rest. I have 3 boxes full of birthday cards! You need to stop this nonsense,” the Joker points his finger at you, threatening.

You sigh and put the card on his desk but you don’t leave.

“I guess I’m going to eat this cupcake too and get fat,” you complain, taking a bite. You go sit on his lap. You expect him to push you away but he doesn’t.  You turn J’s chin towards you and then use your index finger to trace his cheekbone, staring at his face. His blue eyes avoid looking at yours.

“Hmmm, hardly any wrinkles, you can’t be that old. But you’re not in your 20’s, I know that… Are you pushing 50?” you giggle and immediately get up and run, knowing he’s going to try and slap your butt or something.

“Princess, go away!” You barely avoid the groping and the slapping.

*Aha, he’s taking a bath.*

“Happy birthday to…”

“Shut it down!!”

“OK,” you agree to comply, but you just get in the bathtub with your clothes on, the cupcake with the candle in one hand and the birthday card in the other. ”For you, Mister J,” you sweetly smile, letting go of the card right in front of him. “Here, blow this candle at least!”

“NO!! Stop pestering me, what’s wrong with you?!”

“BLOW…the…flipping…CANDLE!” you scream, splashing him.

“You asked for it!” the Joker is heading towards your side of the bathtub. Oh, shit, time to run.

*Aha, he’s on his laptop.*

“Happy birthday to you…”

“You must be kidding me; I’m seriously getting pissed! I mean it!”

“Well, me too, what the hell?! Tell me how old you are, you know I would die before telling someone else.”

“You don’t get to treat me like this, doll!” Mister J gets off the couch, scoffing. You wish you would have known he’s in a foul mood.

You think he’s joking but the insane look in his eyes lets you know that you probably pushed it too much. You’re instinctively starting to back out, suddenly worried while you watch him stump towards you.

There is so much rage in him when he grabs your wrists that you drop your card and the cupcake and you already know you’ll have bruises.

“What is wrong with you, hmm? Are you really trying to see how much you can push me? You want me to kill you ?”

“Let go, you’re hurting me…” you whimper in pain, feeling your bones will snap soon.

His eyes have darkened.

“Don’t play games with me, OK?” he hisses at you. ”I’m not the playful type, I told you to stop this so many times!”

You start crying, scared and defeated.

“Fine, fine, I’ll stop, just let me go, I can’t feel my hands anymore…please…”

Your sobbing makes him soften his hold and he finally lets you go.

***************

It’s been a week since you’ve been avoiding him at all costs. You get out of the penthouse early and come back late. Sometimes he’s not even there.

***************

It sounds crazy (and he knows crazy), but he misses you bugging him every day with your stupid birthday song, the card and the cupcake.

***************

You’ve been sleeping in the spare bedroom with your door locked, afraid he might hurt you again.

He can’t fall sleep in the big bed all by himself, tossing and turning on pins and needles every single night. You looked so frightened and hurt when he almost broke your wrists. Shit, he can be such a dick sometimes, but he can’t help it. J finally gets up and decides to go to your door, trying to open it. It’s locked, but he has the spare key. You forgot you guys keep it in the office.

He opens the door slowly and snicks in. It’s not too dark in the room because you always have a night light on. The Joker sees you curled up in a ball, eyes closed, holding to your pillow really tight and ohhhh… his chest aches, strangely enough when he sees your wrists all bruised up, marked by his rage.

He takes a deep breath,using his hands to get his green hair out of his face and cuddles in bed by you, watching you sleep until he decides to pull you in his arms. You feel the movement and wake up with your head resting on his tattoos. You’re not sure what to do, is he in one of his moods again?

You lift your eyes to meet his and it surprises you there’s no anger in them. You gulp and hesitantly reach your left hand to caress his face, not knowing what to expect. J starts purring, shoving himself into you even more.

“39,” he mutters, kissing your forehead.

Your face lights up with the brightest smile he saw in a while.

“Happy birthday to you…”

“I wouldn’t push it, Princess,” he grins, but this time there is no animosity in his voice.

“So…January?” you ask as innocently as possible, hoping you’re on steady ground.

“Almost got it,” J softly laughs, kind of surprised you still have the balls.

“June?”

“So close, Kitten.”

“August?”

“It’s possible, Pumpkin.”

Also read - MASTERLIST :

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

Captain's Vigilante (1/?)

Word Count: 3700ish

Warnings: amateur author, first attempt at fan fiction, really really wordy

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Summary: You are a genius vigilante, misunderstood, feared and on top of the Avengers watch list. They see you as a major to threat and has to be stopped. They’ve no idea you only have the best of intention but just has no idea how to express it a better way. And you like the reputation they gave you. It’s what you’re used to. After yet another visit to the Avengers tower and being caught and then being shot. Things take a turn for you both when Steve seemed to break those walls and get to know the real you.

“Sam, where is she?!” Cap shouted to his communications. He ran at a steady pace, lungs burning already. His hold on his shield tightened. He almost caught her and he wasn’t about to let her escape again.

“She’s turning right at the intersection towards the tunnel-oh hell no-” he was cut off, static replaced his voice. Cap stopped running instinctively and pressed his earpiece again. “Sam?” He yelled.

“His suit self destructed!” Bucky shouted out the window before he stopped the car right next Steve. “Get in!”

Steve ran inside and Bucky hurried off, overtaking every car that was too slow. “Turn right. She headed for the tunnel,” Steve instructed. Bucky nodded as he sped up.

“Where’s Nat?” Steve asked his friend.

“On her way. Said she needed to find the right tools first,” Bucky grunted as he cut off yet another a public bus. “So many goddamn people.”

“There! That’s [Y/N]’s car.” Steve pointed at the one right in front of them that Cap saw her get into. Bucky understood. They couldn’t possibly let her go again. It would be months before they get a single lead on her. She was top of the Avengers priority. She was that dangerous.

Bucky smashed the cars front to the rear of [Y/N]’s car. They couldn’t see her face but they saw her head wobbling from the impact. Bucky sped up and got the car in close distance so they could see her. But the person on the wheel was just a hoodie with some kind of blinking technology as the head.

The two super soldiers’ eyes bulged when they realized what that blinking meant. Bomb.

Steve jumped towards the passenger seat and wrapped his arm around Bucky. He angled his shield towards the explosion and boom. The two were knocked out of the burning car, the shield absorbing all the impact of the blast. They coughed up any of the smoke they inhaled. Bucky then glanced up and glared a hole through Steve’s head before muttering out. “Great fucking job, punk.”

“Honest mistake,” Steve shrugged as he bitterly chuckled.

“Hey fossils, need a lift?” Natasha quipped as she stopped her motorcycle. She cocked and loaded her gun before smirking. “We need to catch an evil genius, if you don’t mind.”

“Is that my motorcycle?” Bucky asked as he squinted. Steve chuckled before standing up and dusting himself off.

“Never mind that. Get on, Steve.” Steve didn’t have to be told twice before he got on the motorcycle. Bucky stood on his feet and held onto his gun, dusting himself off with a puppy sad face as he pointed.

“B-but that’s mine-”

Bucky didn’t even get to finish before Natasha sped off. They passed the tunnel but [Y/N] nowhere to be seen. No tracks or anything. They were getting to the crowded part of the city. “I’m going to need directions, Steve.”

“I don’t know. Sam was the one who tracked her from the sky-” a bullet was shot to their front tire, knocking them both off.

The two quickly recovered. The cycle was torn apart from the impact, surprisingly not exploding. They sprang to their feet and examined the surroundings for someone out of the ordinary. But all there was was civilians who just glanced to them confused as if they were the ones causing the ruckus.

Steve’s eye caught the smirking face in the crowd, hiding behind a pair of eyeglasses. Steve’s instincts told him to run after her, which he did.

[Y/N] realized that he saw her so she ran. That was stupid. She just wanted to pride herself that she can leave the Avengers utterly helpless. But here she was, jeopardizing her escape because of her ego.

She glanced around, studying her surroundings. She was calculating every scenario where she can escape. Her brain gears were working at a marvelous speed.. She can climb a building and disappear by stealing an employee outfit. She can hack the traffic system with her phone and disable all cars, making a distraction to the Avengers. She can steal a car and speed out of sight. But those had disadvantages. Her safest bet was getting them lost to crowds and escaping through all the confusion.

She ran towards the crowd, then slid her glasses to her bag. [Y/N]’s eye caught a pair of sunglasses hanging by a woman’s bag which she swiped and wore. She removed the tie around her hair and swiped a handkerchief from a man’s pocket and she wore it as a bandanna. She turned removed the jacket she was wearing. She camouflaged herself in a matter of a minute.

Steve was stumped but he never lost sight of her. That was [Y/N]’s fault. She underestimated a super soldier’s focus and sight. He saw her change her whole outfit with only a few to change and in plain sight but no one even noticed. He ran towards her, leaving Natasha behind.

“[Y/N]!” He shouted as if she would glance back when she was supposed to be running away.

A bullet was fired in the back ground. Steve looked back to see Natasha with her game face on.

That was when chaos started. Civilians were running around rampant. They were panic shouting. Cars were going faster. But what was most confusing was [Y/N]. She could’ve ran with the crowd and used the panic around her to escape. But she went in the middle of the road, running at a straight line. She just made herself a bigger target.

“Move, Rogers. She’s mine.” Natasha ran past him with her gun pointed to one direction. Steve couldn’t blame her. She was the one who spent most her time tracking the woman down (if you don’t count still pissed Tony).

She kept firing her weapon and Steve was sure by [Y/N]’s slowing pace that she got her. Twice to be exact. [Y/N] ran a tight turn as Natasha’s aim slowly wobbled. Nat’s shot swerved away but so did [Y/N]. She caught the shot midair with her back, causing her jerk from her steady pace.

Steve was shocked by what he saw. It seemed as if she done it on purpose. But even more shocked when [Y/N] took a crying little girl that appeared in front of her to her arms and then got on a motorcycle. She rode away at top speed with the shocked child clutched to her chest.

“She wouldn’t have gotten far,” Nat whispered before pressing her earpiece. “We’ll split up. She has a hostage. Don’t try to shoot her. Steve, you-”

Natasha’s words blurred out. His first instincts to save the little girl kicked in. He bolted away to her direction. He found himself a motorcycle too. He hot wired it and convinced himself that he was just borrowing. Not long until he got into a quiet neighborhood and saw drops of blood on the pavement.

He stopped and parked his ride. His shield was held tight in his hand, ready for any form of combat. He took a deep breath when he saw a trail of blood depicting that something or someone was dragged there. He hurried towards it, fearing for the kid’s life. But all he saw was her. [Y/N] was there, leaning on the wall, clutching her wound with her scarf as blood freely fell from her. She was breathing deeply. Steve can daw her eyes fluttering before they landed on him. She smirked at him.

“Oh, you’re here.” She cheerfully murmured though her voice was dry. “Good job, Captain. You’re the first to ever catch me.”

Steve gazed all around, wondering where was the girl and where was [Y/N] keeping her. She sensed this and laughed at his face.

“If you’re looking for the kid, I already have her with her mother. She looked so scared and shook up. You better tell her mom what happened. Your friend almost shot her little girl.”

That’s when it all clicked. [Y/N] swerved not because of an accident but because that girl was directly at the target. If she didn’t, that child would’ve been the one bleeding right now.

Steve swallowed the lump on his throat. He was wrong. He was ready to fight this woman for the safety of a child but she even saved her life. Steve’s anger melted away as he studied more of the alley. It started to look like one of those dirty alleys he was beaten up back in the day.

“Where’s the files that you stole from the tower?” He almost commanded. To his annoyance, all she did was shake her hands and grin at him. He got closer to inspect her and she let him. She just made a few quips about never knowing Captain America is a frisker. Steve though saw she was shot three times through her abdomen. She already lost a lot of blood. He glanced around and took a deep breath. At a quiet neighborhood like this, help won’t even reach her until she… Steve shook his head at the thought. He can call for back up and let her on her own accords to heal but his morals shone through.

He carried her piggyback style, wrapping [Y/N]’s legs around him and he held onto her thighs. It was the only way he can ease of the tension on her torso and possibly let her bleed less. She automatically wrapped her arms around his neck to stabilize herself. She rested her head lazily on his shoulder, lips near his ear. “Woah. Where are we going now, Captain? Somewhere nice?”

“Your place is close here, right?”

“Yeah, how did you know that? You’ve been stalking me or something?”

“You wouldn’t have travelled far in this direction if you had nowhere to go.”

“Ooh, strong AND smart,” she giggled. Steve was about say something snappy back but his earpiece started picking up static.

“Steve, where are you? We lost her! Did you find her?” Natasha’s voice was heard through the static. Steve glanced at her as he debated with himself. She looked over to him, already knowing what he’s going to say. They shared a glance, it wasn’t the right thing to do but.. “No. I lost track of her. I’m going back but I may take a while.”

“Copy, Rogers,” Nat replied before she signed out. Steve continued his walk while [Y/N] couldn’t help but giggle at what happened. “Aww… did Captain America just lie?” It was a sight to her. It wasn’t everyday she’ll see The Captain bend the truth.

“Just tell me the directions,” Steve grumbled as [Y/N] continued chuckling softly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You got taken down by three bullets. If we knew it’ll be this easy, we would’ve just focused on our aim.” Steve quipped as he started to stitch her up. The bloody bullets he took out were on a tray by the foot of her bed along with the used cotton he sanitized the wounds with. “Would’ve saved a lot of time.”

“Well, I wasn’t counting on it.” She replied back, clenching her jaw at the little pain of the needle. Her voice was dry and her body was in pain. All that was in the bright side is that [Y/N] can finally say that she got Captain America in her bedroom. “I thought you never open fire at crowds.” She shrugged. “Too many casualties.”

“What makes you think we baddies always try to get lost in one?” She raised her eyebrow at him. She was making good points and Steve knew it. “Y'all better be more careful, Captain. Tell that to your teammates.” That last sentence made Steve bite his lip. She was right and she was telling him to do something they should’ve done. They almost shot a child. And she saved that child… from their bullet. She’s the villain in this story, the mastermind, the bully, the one at fault. But instead, he felt responsible for every thing. He finished bandaging her before fixing her first aid kit.

“So are you going to arrest me now or wait until I recover?” She asked out of the blue, earning Steve’s full attention. He just stared at her as her eyes bulged from their sockets and she tried to sit up in surprise. “Wait. Are you going to let me down easy?”

He stopped her from getting up and pushed her back down. [Y/N] won’t need to reopen her wounds. “Just release your hostages and I might just consider.”

“Hostages? What hostages?”

“The children of the politicians that were missing for a while was found last week caught with you by CCTV.” Memories of it flooded Steve’s mind. It was the first lead they had in months after loosing a trace after their tangle up in Russia. He couldn’t help but chuckle when he remembered how she posed for the camera. They way she knew she was being watched and ow she handled it brought a smile to his face. “You were holding up peace signs in every single one of them,” he chuckled.

She let out a chuckle, remembering the moment. “Did it make Stark angry?”

“Furious,” Steve smirked. He remembered just how red Tony got when saw those pictures. “He was ready to send out all the suits to you.”

“Still pissed I hacked his system?”

“I don’t think he really lets that stuff go.” They shared a laugh momentarily. Steve sighed as he was brought back to reality.

“So where are they?”

“Back at home.” She stared up the ceiling, still imagining Stark’s pissed off face. How she wished she saw that. She would frame that beauty. “They’re own home to be exact.” His forehead creased at the information. He doesn’t know that. They didn’t have much information to work with but she was their one and only lead.

“You guys didn’t factcheck, did you?” She smirked. This was such a precious moment for her. “You don’t know they’re back to their families?”

“If they are, their families would’ve notified us.” Steve snapped back, taking his stand.

“And if they aren’t, don’t you think people with political backgrounds would be a bit more demanding?” [Y/N] cocked an eyebrow at him. Steve closed his mouth. She had a point there. He ran a hand through his hair, slowly getting frustrated with the woman.

“Why did you try to steal some files about them if they’re already back at home then?”

“All of you were on edge.” She chuckled. “Trying to find my traces, my motives,….me.” She stared at the Captain, loving every minute of his reaction.

“I couldn’t help getting more information on you when I thought you won’t even pay attention to an intern.” She continued on. [Y/N] she snuck in, in normal clothes and a fake intern I.D. And just waltzed in the tower with little problem. She got to floors by tampering with the elevator and got to a computer. Everyone just passed her and didn’t even give her a second glance. [Y/N] was scrolling through what she found before a large hand was placed on her shoulder. She turned and there was him, Steve freaking Rogers. “But you did. Captain, you were the only one who saw me. And to think, I was going to pride myself on the fact that I got into the Avengers tower with only glasses as a disguise. But you got me and got me shot. So congrats, Cap.”

“To be fair, Nat was the one that tried to shoot you. If that clears anything up.”

“I don’t know, Rogers. I still have holes in my torso.” She laughed making him chuckle too.“But I am feeling a tad bit better.”

She moved a little bit, trying to get a more comfortable position. Steve just stared at her. Her [Y/H/C] was in tangles yet it had a certain shine to them. The [Y/E/C] in her eyes were more prominent up close. He never really got to admire her like this. It was always through a screen or through the files they had for debriefing or even when he’s trying to arrest her. She actually seemed harmless when she’s laying back like this. “You can leave now. I didn’t get to bring home any of your files so there’s nothing you can get back from me.” She made him snap out of his thoughts. [Y/N] almost laughed at his reaction. “Seriously, Rogers. You should go before the poison starts taking effect.”

“Poison? What poison?”

“Seriously? You’ve known Romanoff for years and you still don’t know she puts old Russian poison on her bullets for special occasions?” His face showed even more confusion, making her even more frustrated. She took a deep sigh. The clues are right there. It’s not like they were not obvious or anything.

“Look at the bullets, Rogers. They are tinged more violet than red when you wiped out the blood. It stings far worse than a regular bullet and regular poison, I should know, thus it’s old and not relatively American. That the metal is slowly corroding is a dead giveaway. It’s an aged Russian concoction designed to take down people fast and Agent Romanoff had them specially on her bullets for me.” She moved a bit to the right and felt that unordinary sting kick in. “And, fuck, I can already feel it working.”

“I’m going to unstitch you,” he warned before getting the scissors again, ready to take out as much poison as he still can.

“Don’t bother, Captain. Most of it is already absorbed. My immune system will fix it. I’m enhanced, too you know. I’ll just go down with a flu or something.”

The longer he stayed with her, the more convinced he was that she wasn’t who everyone says she is. She wasn’t some villain who’s out to kill him. But instead she was teaching him the trick of how to cheat at poker. There was never a dull moment talking to [Y/N]. She knew how to make even small talks interesting. Her jokes made him chuckle and laugh. She seemed so comfortable to be talking to him and vice versa. Steve felt like he could tell her everything and so he did. He told her about his past and the war to which she listened eagerly. He told [Y/N] about how he was so small, the strong wind could break him, how he was friends with Bucky before, how he thought he lost Bucky and that it was his fault. Whenever he got on the painful subjects, she says something witty that makes him laugh and forget about it. That was the beauty of talking to her. She had the ability to make people feel better even when they feel like crap. “And they found me in the ice 70 years later..” he glanced down, it was still a sensitive subject to him.

“Must be hard to be older than sliced bread.”

“Just listen to my story, will you?”

That went on and on for while. He told her about how he met Bucky again and the fall of Hydra to which she replied she was on another side of the planet, minding her own business. She told him how she got the captive children back from the syndicate and how she took them to grocery stores where she was caught on CCTV right after so they’ll get to eat before she drops them back at their home. Their talk slowly got more and more personal as Steve poured his heart out on the conversation. [Y/N] just sat there and listened to him. She didn’t judge him like anyone else did. She listened and even held his hand through the most difficult things to say and whispered words of encouragement. [Y/N] didn’t treat him like a hero who always had to be perfect, but instead made him feel like himself. Steve Rogers who, again, was still just a man. Maybe there was something about confessing your mistakes to someone you think have done worse than you makes it easier to say. But she didn’t seem so bad. She was sweet even. She understood him. She knew what it felt like to have the world against you. She had a lot of red in ledger too.

“Can you do me a favor, Rogers?”

“I really like this apartment and the folks next door are really nice. Can you maybe?” She placed a finger to her lips. Steve thought about it for a while. He wasn’t breaking the law. She wasn’t asking him to harbor a criminal or something. She was just asking him if he can keep a secret. It was the least he can do. He already helped her with her bullet wounds. He thought about it for a while. All he did was nod before she continued on with the story how she stole a flower vase from a black market museum and got away with it.

[Y/N] woke up at an ungodly hour and didn’t even realize that she drifted off. The last thing she remembered was Steve going over how Bucky was getting better and better. She stretched and turned his head to see a bowl of soup and medicine by her night stand. She couldn’t help but smile. She took it to her hand and it’s not even a bit warm, must’ve been a while. There were a few pills next to a glass of water. A note caught her eye, no wonder Cap’s. ‘Drink the tablet every 8 hours take as much painkillers as you need. -Steve’

[Y/N] almost awwed out loud. She couldn’t stop her grin. She popped the pills in her mouth and looked around the room. He obviously fixed her room a little, tidied up some stuff. Her clothes on the floor made it to the hamper. Her guns that she had scattered were all away. Probably confiscated. Guess the Captain doesn’t like messy. But she realized something. Her laptop by her work table had a USB plugged into it with the label, 'future schemes’, before she left. She was so sure. But now it’s gone.

She smirked to herself as she leaned back. Steve Rogers did prove to be a sweetheart but he is still Captain America after all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Steve glared at the screen with the information that was handed to him. He was in a computer shop. A trick Natasha thought him to use when he doesn’t want to be tracked. He didn’t dare to show Tony or the others the USB he got. They’ll be more interested about how he got it than the looking for the things inside it. Sure, he stole it from her but how will he be able to explain how he has it in the first place without it blowing up mysteriously as if it wasn’t one of [Y/N]'a special tricks?

But he focused on what was in front of him. How did she know there were still Hydra facilities alive and thriving not that far from the Avengers tower? How did this count as her future scheme? What was she going to do with them?

Steve had the feeling it won’t be the last he’ll saw of [Y/F/N] [Y/L/N]. But this time, he wouldn’t even think twice about being her back up if she ever needs it.

Beautiful Frankenstein

Warnings: A bit of swearing

Request: Can yoy do my requesting of a Jerome imagine where the reader puts Jerome’s face back on with needle and thread, lightly chastising him for using staples, to which he replies that the metal gave him an edge but she tells him that sowing it will make it heal faster.

Originally posted by twofacedharveydent


You never thought that you’d ever have to sew anything ever again after girl scouts. Especially not skin. But, of course Jerome never ceased to stay away from sharp objects or dangerous objects. So here you were peeling off your gorgeously handsome boyfriend’s face. The skin was hanging off his face with only  few staples left, that he put on on the way to your house. Meeting a staple you took some teasers and pulled it out.

“Why did you have to use staples?” You quietly asked him. “Its gross.”

You stuck your tongue out and gagged at Jerome. He cackled at you, and slapped his knee.

“Hold still J!”

“I’m sorry gorgeous you’re very amusing.” He said it both jokingly and sarcastically.

You rolled your eyes and pulled the last staple out. Putting them into a now  ruined little glass bowl.  You pulled a little bit harshly and he winced. Then proceeded to fakely hiss loudly.

“Yeah, yeah.” You murmured.

Cringing back you took the skin and held it up between your pointer finger and your thumb. Gently you laid it down on the table beside the small bowl of staples. Taking the needle you put the thread through it, getting it ready to sew Jerome’s face on.

“Why did you use staples?” You chastised more.

“Because it looked badass.” He whined, as he noticed you were chastising him.

“You looked like Frankenstein.”

He scoffed offended and slammed his hand on his heart. You giggled.

“Okay you have to hold still.”

“Do you really have to sew it?” He gave you a pouty lip.

“Well yeah.” You said confused.

“Why can’t I staple it?” He asked like a child. “It gave me an edge.”

Huffing you put your needle and thread down on the table. Then you proceeded to squat down meeting this level at which he was sitting.

“Jerome you have two choices. One, you can look like your old self and let me sew it so that you can heal. Or you can continue to tear up your skin and put staples in your face like Frankenstein.”

“Fine, fine, fine stitch me up princess.”

He sat up straight and closed his eyes. Slowly you lined the skin up with his face. Although it was gross you held it still without shaking. 

“Okay, handsome this is gonna sting.”

He chuckled and smiled, his face muscles pulled causing some blood to fall. You started sewing at the top of his head going slow. You looked down and saw Jerome’s hand clench the edge of the chair. Wincing you continued to stitch up his face. His skin was smooth and his muscles continued to bleed. You kept a wet towel for when the blood got onto the skin.  After around a careful hour of going very slow, his face was complete. 

“There you go sweetheart!”

“Fuck that wasn’t pleasant. But, then it was.”

You rolled your eyes and giggled as he pulled you into his lap. He kissed your cheek and spun you around to look at his new and improved face. You looked at your wonderful new piece of work.

“Jerome you better not fuck my masterpiece up,” You waved your hand from the top of his hand to the bottom of his chin. 

“Give it up gorgeous, i’m always beautiful.”

anonymous asked:

Could you do prompts for a female villain who was the childhood friend of the female hero but the hero never picked up on any of the hints and now they're meeting for the first time in like 6 years and the villain still loves the hero and the hero doesn't recognize them.

1) “Why did you spare me!?” The hero nearly howled in her rage, feeling like her lungs and heart might burst right out of her chest with the force of her grief. She couldn’t stop shaking. She couldn’t stop crying, even if she didn’t want to give that monster the satisfaction of her tears. 

The villain stared at her, expression frozen. 
“Because once, you saved me. I was trying to return the favour.” 

The favour, as if any of this had been a favour! 


2) “But you,” the hero spat. “No one would ever yield to the likes of you! You know nothing of kindness, or loyalty, or love.”

“And of course you are the expert of recognizing love and loving things. You have me all figured out. Clever you.”


3) A body flung her out of the way to safety, knocking the breath out of her, warm and armoured on top of her. Arms covered her head, as the shrapnel of the explosion missed them by inches. 
“Thanks.” She rolled over, expecting - not them. She stiffened. For a second, that unreadable, masked face seemed to study her. Fingers trailed over her lips with a tenderness not suited to either villainy or war. Then the villain was up and gone.


4) “So, they sent you to negotiate with me.” 

“I’m told I’m very persuasive,” the hero flashed a smile. 

“Yes, I’m sure that’s the reason they sent you. No.” The villain rose to her feet. “How dare you?”

She hadn’t even suggested anything yet!


5) “Do you know who I am?” 
“Someone who needs to be stopped.”
The villain laughed, then - an oddly cracking, broken sound. 

3

Love this moment. 

It’s almost like she knows J is in that helicopter coming to get her and she’s looking at the Squad thinking, “Yeah, you and I can handle them easy.” 

This little moment subtly reminds the audience that they are a team and that Harley is only there to get back with her puddin. Really does show what Harley is willing do to, willing to betray, to get back to Mistah J. 

Bonus:  

Joker’s thinking, “HEY, BABY! DADDY’S HERE AND READY TO GET ON THAT BEAR SKIN RUG WITH YOU!”

10

“Face it, Harl, this stinks — yer a certified nutso wanted by the law in over a dozen states — and hopelessly in love with a murderous, psychopathic clown.”

The Joker X Reader -“Play Pretend”

The Joker loves having “rehearsal therapy sessions” with you just in case he will end up at Arkham again. The truth is he enjoys playing games and so do you. UNTIL…

“So ,baby, how are you feeling today?” you ask, readjusting your eyeglasses and looking at him. J is tide up in his straitjacket and you even ordered him custom sweatpants with Arkham logo, this way it feels more…official.

“Aroused!” he replies, bouncing his legs up and down like a kid, winking at you. “And you can’t call me baby, you know that. You have to call me Mister Joker.”

You roll your eyes and sigh:
“Kaayyyy, Mister Joker, then you can’t call me anything but Doctor Y/N, you know the rule.”

“Since when you’re a doctor, Princess?”

“Since you’ve became …Mister Joker,” you lift your eyebrows, glaring his way.

“Sassy, aren’t we?”

“Are you really talking like this when you are at Arkham?”, you cut him off, annoyed.

“More or less.”

“Pfftt, I’m surprised they keep you there, I wouldn’t,” you scoff, thinking of your next questions.

“I really like your lab coat, doc,” J keeps on yapping, ignoring what you just said.

“Yeah, special order so it looks even more real. Anyway, next question: tell me about your parents, your mom for example.”

“My mom was a striper,” J pouts, pretending to be sad.

“No, she wasn’t,” you interrupt.

“How would you know?”

“I just do, oh my God, you’re not taking this seriously today, might as well stop,” you anxiously tap on your clipboard with your pen, sulking.

“We never take this seriously, Kitten, it’s for fun.” The Joker’s eye narrow, suspiciously analyzing you. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” you immediately bounce back, trying to change your attitude to a more cheerful one. Crap, he noticed you’re distracted. How could you not be when you plan to make your move soon and he doesn’t even know yet? Of course you’re nervous, but it is for the best. You have to be more careful, he can’t catch on. Your plan must go smooth. Jesus, it’s going to be hard though…

“Don’t lie to me,” he growls, wanting to get up from his armchair.

“Sit down, baby, it’s all good. Oops, sorry…Mister Joker,” you giggle, apologizing, keeping that huge, fake smile on your face.

In the meantime, Frost wants to get in the office to talk to you two but he is stopped by the other henchmen.

“Don’t even dare knocking,” Richard warns him.

“Why, what’s going on?”

“He’s in a <therapy session> again,” Richard dramatically uses his fingers for the quote-unquote gestures.

“Again?! It’s the 3rd time this week,” Jonny frowns, unhappy he has to wait now.

Joe lifts his shoulders, knowing there is nothing they can do.

“You know they like to pretend they’re at Arkham, it’s their…thing.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ll be back in about an hour, maybe they’re be done.”

“Not if they wanna have even more fun after the session,” Richard elbows Frost, chuckling.

“I can’t wait that long, I have important things I have to tell them,” Jonny takes a deep breath, aggravated.

“Don’t matter, man, it’ll have to wait. If you disturb them, it’s on you. I don’t want the boss to kill me.”

In the meantime, you manage to trick your boyfriend that everything is fine and you continue your fake interview with him.

“Can you tell me something about your dad?” you utter, pretending to write down the answer.
“My dad was a striper.”

You burst out laughing.

“Jeez, Mister Joker, you really gotta use that if they catch you again. Do they really buy this crap at Arkham?”

“They have no choice, because I tell them what I want,” he bites his lips, roaring your way. “But you sure look sexy in your new lab coat, Doctor Y/N.”

“Baby, do you ever flirt like this when you’re in there?!” you suddenly realize it and it’s kind of pissing you off.

“Whaaa’? Ne-e-ver! E-ver!”  He didn’t even realize you didn’t call him Mister Joker, you’re onto something here.

“That sounded so unconvincing,” you shake your head, closing one eye and sucking on your cheeks, unamused. Perfect occasion to do what you have to do.

You stand up from the couch and go and sit in his lap. You start caressing his green hair, and then hug him tight.

“What’s wrong, Pumpkin? You have to tell me,” he moves around in his jacket, trying to loosen it. You didn’t really tied him up that bad.

“Nothing, I just want to have some fun,” you flutter your eyelashes at him and get up, go at his desk and take out the duct tape.

“Ohhhh, yeah, let’s get kinky,” J purrs, anticipating all the fun you’ll have, forgetting he sensed something not quite right going on.

“I’m so taking advantage of you, baby,” you giggle, starting to go around him with the duct tape until his upper body is completely stuck to the chair.

“You’re such a bad girl, I love it!” he grins at you and doesn’t understand why you look so upset out of the sudden. “Ok, what is it? It’s driving me nuts,” he asks, antagonized.

You take off your lab coat and you glasses and place them on the desk.

“I’m doing this for you, so please don’t come looking for me, OK?”

Your voice is getting a bit shaky.

“Huh?!”
“I’m really going to miss you, even if you’re a jerk…” you swallow the lump in your throat as you rip a small piece of duct tape from the roll. “ But you’re my jerk and I want you to know you’ll always be my favorite boyfriend,” you sadly smile, leaning over to kiss him.

“What are you talking about, baby Doll?!”

You kiss him again, not answering and placing the duct tape on his mouth.

“Don’t worry, the boys will find you shortly, I just need a head start. Don’t look for me, will you?… Please?… If I’m gone you’ll be safer,” you whimper and you stare in his eyes that got a shade darker.  You stroke his cheek and then abruptly pull yourself together and leave the office, leaving him muttering and struggling to escape, confused and mad at the whole thing.

You didn’t want him to know how you’ve been approached by Gotham’s Secret Service and offered a deal that will erase your heavy  police record in exchange of turning him over to them. You debated for 20 seconds before you already knew you won’t do such a thing; you’re nobody’s puppet. You want to disappear and leave town, maybe even the country if you can. Double crossing the Secret Service seems like a good idea, even if it means leaving the Joker behind. Like you told him, it’s for his own good.

Too bad you got caught at the airport and place in supposedly federal care (or so they told you because the prison you’re in doesn’t resemble Arkham or anything like it). They “accidentally” bruise you up very often, they interrogate you at least once a day and they medicate you against your will with God knows what until you don’t feel like yourself anymore. But you don’t tell them anything even if they probably want to kill you for not disclosing where the Prince of Crime is.

Four months have passed and nothing has changed. Oh, something did: they dislocated your shoulder so now they have to place you in a special type of straitjacket.Today is just another day. You are so groggy from the pills you don’t even fight the guards anymore while they place you in the garment. The security kind of has to drag you to the interview room and they have no problems this time in locking up the chains around your ankles to the floor. You usually put up a fight which triggers them to “Accidentally” slam you around,punch and kick you until they get tired.

You keep on glaring at the floor, tired as hell, having a hard time concentrating.

“So, are you going to tell us where the Joker is? I see you have a bruised eye and busted lip already. You know we can do better than that!” you hear the man’s deep voice addressing you.

“I’m not telling you shit, I don’t care what you do to me,” you manage to say, yawning.

“It will be easier for you if you just give in or there will be more consequences, you know that, right?”

You huff, almost dozing off: “ More consequences than this? Even my boyfriend didn’t do this to me and he’s pretty bad…”

“So you admit The Joker is your boyfriend?”

“U-humm,” you whisper, trying to stay awake.

“Is he a jerk?”

“Ha!” you immediately have an outburst of energy but you still keep your eyes closed…“He can be…”

“Is he good in bed? Did he satisfy your needs when you were with him?”

Even if you’re half asleep, you realize these are very unprofessional questions.

“What ?! It’s none of your business.”

“Do you miss seeing him naked?”

“W-whaaatt?” you finally lift your eyes, slowly blinking.

“Jeez, what did they give you?” the man looks in the papers, trying to find the answer.“Auch, they gave that to me too when I was locked away, totally hated it.”

His voice changed and you feel your heart beating faster. Your cloudy vision rests on the man in front of you: black eyes, long black hair, perfect porcelain capped teeth and such a familiar smirk.

“Jesus Christ!” you almost shout, realizing it’s J in front of you in perfect disguise.

“No, not really, I go by Doctor…ummm” he looks down at the name tag, “Jack Green… I guess?! Please address me as such, I didn’t spend all those years going to college for nothing.”
You can’t make a single sound.

He snickers, amused:

“Wow, Princess, I’m seriously considering getting a new girlfriend: you look like shit!”

“Jerk…” you whisper, your eyes getting teary.

“Did they hide you well or what? Took me forever to find you, this is no Arkham. We’re coming tonight to get you out so be ready. It’s gonna be a tough one,” he gets up and wants to step away but he hears you sobbing and changes his mind.

J comes in front of you, pushes your chair back and sits in your lap.  He wipes your tears, his smirk disappearing as he traces your bruises and your cut lip.

“What the fuck were you thinking, hmmm? Look what they did to you. Crazy woman, if you ever do that to me again I’m going to kill you myself, got it?”

You start crying harder.

“Dammit, stop crying, I’m not gonna kill you, I’m just joking,” he tries to calm you down, kissing your cheek.

“Where are you silver teeth?” you bawl, upset they’re gone.

“I needed a perfect disguise for this place and I had to change them. The things I do for you,” he rolls his eyes, exasperated. “That’s why you’re crying harder? Because of my teeth?!”

You nod a “Yes” through tears.

“You looks scary like this, you’re freaking me out,” you cry some more, burring your face in his chest, sniffling.

“I look scary like this?! With normal teeth?!”

“Yeahhh, please get the silver teeth baaaaccckkkk,” you cry your eyes out and wipe your nose on his coat since you’re tied up in your straitjacket and can’t do too much.

“Classy, baby Doll, you’re such a classy woman,” J smiles, teasing you.

“Shut up,” you press your head against his, snorting. “And get off me, my legs are getting numb,” you pout, pretending to be upset but you can’t remember being so happy before.

“Fine, I have to go anyway! “ he gets his folder and heads towards the metal door. You hear a mumble.
“What did you say, J?” you inquire, not sure if he really said something.

“I said I missed you,” he replies, grouchy you made him repeat. ”Never mind, I take it back, I didn’t. Get ready for tonight!”

“You’re such a jerk!” you shout, but you know he’s just playing around.
“It’s doctor Jack Green, I told you!” he winks at you before he exits the room. “Have some respect!”

Also read-MASTERLIST:

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist