x men: a love story

Greatest Gay Lovers: Alexander the Great x Hephaestion

Alexander III of Macedon son of King Philip II, would grow up to be the worlds greatest military commander.

By the age of age of 18, he brought down the greatest empire the world has ever seen. Conquered most of the known world by the age of 33. While never losing a battle.

As a child Alexander had a passion for philosophy. He attended lectures at Mieza, tutor by Aristotle. While there he would meet Hephaestion. Who would later become the 2nd most powerful man in Alexander’s empire. As well as Alexander’s life long lover and confidant.

Their tutor Aristotle described the friendship as “one soul abiding in two bodies”.

Alexander would describe his relationship with Hephaestion, to that of Achilles and Patroclus. Who are said to be lovers by Plato and Aeschylus.

Robin Lane Fox, wrote: “Already the two were intimate, Patroclus and Achilles even to those around them; the comparison would remain to the end of their days and is proof of their life as lovers…”

In 324 BC, Hephaestion contracted typhoid. Hearing the news Alexander rushed to be at his side but by the time he arrived, Hephaestion passed away.

Plutarch says ”…Alexander’s grief was uncontrollable, he flung himself on the body of his friend and lay there nearly all day long in tears, and refused to be parted from him until he was dragged away by force by his companions.“

Arrian states ”…for two whole days after Hephaestion’s death Alexander tasted no food and paid no attention in any way to bodily needs, but lay on his bed now crying lamentably, now in the silence of grief.“

Alexander cut his hair short in mourning, this last a poignant reminder of Achilles’ last gift to Patroclus on his funeral pyre: Arrian states ”… he laid the lock of hair in the hands of his beloved companion, and the whole company was moved to tears.“

Long after Alexander own death one philosopher wrote, Alexander was only defeated once and that was by Hephaestion’s thighs.

The White Queen 1940s AU: Edward IV and Elizabeth Woodville

Happy Birthday, dear Andrea!

  • Me: Gather ‘round my children I have something to show you…
  • My children: Whatever could it be mother?
  • Me: *looks around* Don’t tell anyone else…
  • My children: *nods*
  • Me: Good. These are your real fathers… *shows them all the fictional men I romanced*
8

Bridget Jones’s Diary & The Mindy Project 2x16, “Indian BBW”

‘Have you been staying with your parents over New Year?’ 'Yes,’ he said eagerly. 'You too?’ 'Yes. No. I was at a party in London last night. Bit hungover, actually.’ I gabbled nervously so that Una and Mum wouldn’t think I was so useless with men I was failing to talk to even Mark Darcy. 'But then I do think New Year’s resolutions can’t technically be expected to begin on New Year’s Day, don’t you? Since, because it’s an extension of New Year’s Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year’s Day isn’t a good idea as you can’t eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.’ 'Maybe you should get something to eat,’ he said, then suddenly bolted off towards the buffet, leaving me standing on my own by the bookshelf while everybody stared at me, thinking, 'So that’s why Bridget isn’t married. She repulses men.

How to save lives like Quicksilver:

•throw people onto lakes
•put up curtains on trees and throw people to it
•get dog and gently put him on the ground (and don’t drop his pizza)

DREW THIS LIFE RUINING GIFT FROM GOD COS HE ROCKS AS QUICKY.