x mekr


Hey Hi Kaidan,

                        I don’t know if this will reach you or whether you’ll even want to read it but I needed to send a reply. Seeing you on Horizon shook me up too it hurt but I don’t blame you and I don’t need an apology. I would’ve acted the same damn way had I been standing in your shoes, you know me. I died i still have nightmares but someone decided that it wasn’t my time, that I was still needed and Cerberus? They had the tools and they brought me back  I don’t know what or who I am anymore. I don’t understand any of it either but I have to make the best of the second chance I’ve been given, no matter who dealt me this hand. I don’t like them and I certainly don’t trust them I feel like a thousand knives are pointed at my back at every waking hour but the threat is too large. I can’t just ignore this,. I don’t have much time, the Normandy is currently on it’s way to the Omega 4 relay..

….but I needed you to know that I still love you that I still care, that I’ll always remember the night we shared before Ilos and if when if I return then.. well… who knows.

Take care and be safe, at least one of us needs to grow old.
All my love.

PS. You should go for another drink with the Doctor, live whilst you still can.

i need kaidan and shepard dozing off together in her cabin, curled up and exhausted and missing their clothes because shit how do you think they got so exhausted in the first place.

only to be woken by EDI as an urgent message comes through from hackett. no lights! eyes squinting! fumbling and foggy heads from too much excitement! que scrambling around to find clothes and personal items which are all in a darkened heap on the floor. clothes looking similar, bumping heads and muffled gasps of cold metal floors hitting soft warm flesh, buttons not working, things not quite feeling right on stretched out muscles.

it takes a sleepy, groggy kaidan at least 4 minutes to figure out he hasn’t got his own underwear on.

and another 56 minutes before shepard lets him change.