x file the unnatural

From the original script for “The Unnatural” (WARNING: It’s seriously adorable):

EXT. BATTING CAGE-NIGHT. Mulder swinging at a ball in a batting cage. One, two, three swings-not a bad stroke either. He wears a vintage baseball jersey with “GRAYS” on the front and “GIBSON” and a # on his back. Scully speaks as she walks into view behind the fence.

SCULLY: This is your idea of living? I’m sorry I don’t see how slapping a piece of horsehide with a stick can be any fun, Mulder…
MULDER: You’ve never hit a baseball, have you Scully?
SCULLY: No.
MULDER: Get in the cage with me.

Scully enters the batting cage. Mulder stands behind her to show her the grip and the stance and the swing. He has his arms around her waist, their four hands on the bat.

SCULLY: It just looks so silly; I mean you’ve got to have something more… uh… necessary to do, huh?
MULDER: OK, now don’t strangle the bat; just shake hands with it, and we’re gonna stride forward; just think hips before hands, hips before hands, ok?
SCULLY: Ok.

They take a practice swing.

MULDER: Not a bad piece of ash huh? Now you wanna keep your eye on the ball, wait for the pitch and just swing- DON’T think Scully, just swing… here we go…

AND THUNK!!! MULDER takes one right on the ass. Scully laughs.

SCULLY: You’re right, Mulder, this is fun.

Mulder hops it off for a few seconds, then gets behind Scully again and they wait for the next pitch. They swing together and get a little piece of the ball. Scully giggles like a little girl.

MULDER: Good. You see what you may find that as you’re concentrating on hit ting that little ball, the rest of the world fades away, all your problems…The ticking of your biological clock, how you really couldn’t afford that new suede coat on a G-woman’s salary, getting to the heart of a global conspiracy, your overdue triple x bill- wait a minute, those last two are my problems, not yours…
SCULLY: Shut up, Mulder, I’m playing baseball.

And Scully concentrates. They take a few more swings, getting a piece each time. Now Scully just loves it, she can’t stop laughing; and now Mulder is laughing too.

Here comes the pitch and Mulder and Scully swing and this time they really CONNECT. A DEEP deep CRACK. And send the ball high high high ripping out the wire mesh netting and into the night sky…We hold on the sky hearing Scully and Mulder laughing and giggling and hearing the CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! of well-hit baseballs as each of them flies up into the night to become stars until the night sky is filled with baseballs, a lighter night for the brightness of these new stars…AS WE END.