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I'm flawed and fake. #11

I pray everyday to be a better person. Everyday I fall even harder to negativity. I’m flawed and confused. I try to do what needs to be done. I have everything planned accordingly and perfectly in my mind, EVERYTIME. At the end of the day I end up doing nothing close to it. Whenever I have plans, I don’t know why I never come through with it. It seems like fate plays tricks with me, I just hope it is leading me on the right path. I know I am given choices in life and I have a lot of time to pick the pros and cons between my options, but tell me why I always do the worst. I let everyone down because of my choices and actions, but I continue to be inconsiderate, rude, and arrogant because I think I’m something that I will never be. I am NOT the shit. I know that, I do not wish for any attention but I crave it too once in a while. I just want to be something someday, not someone. Something that will serve a basic but important purpose in life. The day I stop doing ME, is the day I start living the real life.

I try to inspire others to make good decisions in life. I advocate positivity in others. I tell others to do what’s right and to live their lives. Even though, I do not lead by example. I am a hypocrite, I am flawed, I am human. Everyone needs inspiration once in a while. Sometimes more for others. So let me help you get through your days, because it is the only thing I could do for you. I’m not rich in my pockets, but I still got a lot of love stored in me. Whoever you are, it doesn’t matter. I want to help YOU.

Money Ain't the Bitchness #5

Today is quite an eventful day. I woke to my phone annoyingly ringing next to my bed at 11am and on the line was my friend Megan-da. She called to invite me to go to Viejas Casino today. We met up at her house and had to skip breakfast and just decided to eat two bananas because apparently we were suppose to be there at 12. I got to Megan’s house with Erik and no one in her family was there or ready yet at 12:15pm. Sometimes “Filipino Time” sucks and I, myself need to work on that still. Breaking a stereotype is not hard at all. All you need is dedication and the right mind set. So while waiting for her parents to come home and for them to get ready I ate some sinigang and had a glass of orange juice. I sat next to the bird cage and it liked to seduce me with its “sexy whistle”.

While waiting we played a little bit of poker with chips and all, while Melissa ate and played with her phone resulting for me to get Pretty Boy Swag stuck in my head. I don’t really completely know the rules of it and how it works but I just went with it. I probably have the worst poker face in the world. Lmao. We finally went on our way at around 1:30ish. The car ride there had a lot of interesting and pointless conversations that I barely remember. What I remembered was the wonderful vast fields and mountains that California has. When we live everyday just thinking about what we are and where we are we forget how beautiful our world really is because we tend to focus more on the negative things in life. We forget about the smallest details.

We get to that place and we walked around the area first because there were shops there and what not. Did not really buy anything but just browsed through the various stuff there. In the middle of the shopping center was a floor fountain or a water park looking design thing. I don’t really know what you call those these days but it basically has holes on the floor and water shoots up in certain patterns. All the little kids were having fun and running around there getting wet and what not. I stop and stared because I was somewhat jealous of them because I wanted to do that too right at that moment. I did not really care about the clothes I was wearing but I was worried that I was already too old I guess to be there. I did not stress too much about this fact because after a minute or two of contemplation and much thinking I heard a woman behind me say exactly what was on my mind. The same thing was hold her back, her age. Then and there I realized something so certain about our generation today. Money does really talk. Everything we “adults” do now has to involve money in order to be fun. I miss the days where you could just be playing tag under the moonlight and feel like it is the best day ever. I am pretty sure those kids were having a lot of fun and did not give a care what people said or think of because that’s how life is suppose to be. Too bad it isn’t.

We walked in the casino which was across the street from the water park. Got ID’d and what not. The first impression I had of it was it smelled and there’s a lot of old people here. (well obviously) We got our Viejas cards and started to play. I basically came there with no money at all so I didn’t play I just watched my friends loose their money in a heartbeat! Beginners luck is not always there by the way. Chris put in $5, won $9 and lost all of it a minute after that. That’s how horrible those slot, or I mean SLUT machines over there are. This shows how money comes and goes that quick and this is what we value the MOST in our society? Seeing all those old people there wasting their money and time just playing some computer operated games. AND THEY complain when we waste our time playing Xbox or what not just to pass time. It is pretty crazy if you think about it.

I got to admit that it still WAS a pretty fun experience for a first timer cause we didn’t exactly know what we were doing! There was also a free soda machine on the second floor! So when you’re all dry and broke you can still refresh yourself with some soda or coffee! That’s what’s good! There was also this VENDING MACHINE there with snacks. I bought a crunch bar which was 75 cents and I put in 80 cents or dimes. I got 30 cents change. I was shocked because I just won 25 cents of a vending machine while all my friends lost money playing the slot machines! Oh the irony! Lmao. That pretty much made half of my day!

I got home and walked up to my front door, I noticed something on the floor mat. There was a piece of paper with 2 stones on each corner to secure it and a green looking toy. I looked down closer to read the letter on it and it spelled my name. I checked the door and it was locked. At first I thought I was getting kicked out for some reason and there was a note on the door to tell me all about it. I was scared and opened the note right away. It was from Nikki Nepomuceno & Jenny Santos! Apparently they were at Carmel Mountain Plaza while I was away and decided to drop by and leave a note. They just wanted to make sure I get rid of those crazy bed bugs that were fighting me. After reading the letter I smiled and was filled with energy enough to write this long blog. Just playing. Well this just shows exactly how the simplest things in life if you look closer to the details can make you happier than any amount of money or possessions can. I am truly blessed and I thank God for that everyday.

I still have A LOT of things in my head but I feel like this blog has gone for too long. I apologize, but now I will begin my homework. Mr/Ms/Mrs Green Caterpillar will remain name-less until further notice.

Say No More. (: