wwe signings

The signs + their ideal date w/ a wwe superstar
  • Aries: hiking with becky lynch. she thinks it's cute when your hiking boots don't fit and helps you put them on. she laughs when you slip in mud and finds it adorable when you grumble. you love her puns but pretend like they annoy you. becky is in charge of food, and she brings a picnic basket. 10/10
  • Taurus: watching scary movies with braun strowman. he wants to protect you from the scary ghosts in the movies, but he lowkey gets kind of scared himself. you guys also make homemade popcorn and homemade pizza and homemade banana bread and it's literally a great night in.
  • Gemini: kalisto takes you out clubbing. i'm so sorry. he is very selfish and mean. but you guys end up sleeping together on the first date. now you're pregnant with his child. i am so sorry. you end up having five masked luchador babies. this is your life now. sorry.
  • Cancer: roman reigns takes you rock climbing. but he decides to show off with how fast he can climb the rocks. he ends up slipping and spraining his ankle. he is sad. you kiss his ankle to make him feel better. he lowkey thinks you are creepy for doing that. he still asks you out for a 2nd date.
  • Leo: nikki bella invites you to her house for a private pool party. but she warns you the pool is haunted by the lochness monster. you scoff and jump in anyways. the monster gets you and you are on the brink of death. nikki saves you and performs cpr. a happy ending. 10/10
  • Virgo: seth rollins takes you to the arcade. you beat him at a game which makes him pouty and grouchy. he pours a milkshake over your head. you are sad. he licks the milkshake off of you. you are now grossed out yet weirdly turned on. you guys go back to his place. things get freaky.
  • Libra: you are star-gazing with finn balor. he wants to tell you his deepest darkest secret. he tells you he actually hates legos. you gasp in horror. he then turns into a legit demon and eats you. you are now dead. this date did not go how you planned at all. i am sorry.
  • Scorpio: a coffee date with sami zayn. but wait! it's actually kevin owens in a sami zayn mask. he reveals himself and you are scared at first. but then he tells you a funny joke and you laugh and now you like him. he gives you a marshmallow bracelet. very nice. 10/10
  • Sagittarius: sasha banks takes you with her to walk her dog. the dog does not like you. it attacks you when sasha is not looking and then makes it seem like you attacked him. sasha has a to make an important decision - you or the dog. she picks the dog and leaves you stranded.
  • Capricorn: late night drives with dean ambrose. except the car breaks down so it's basically just 'late night drive without the actual driving'. you turn around to see that you are not alone. kalisto is in the backseat. dean starts talking to kalisto. you are left out. i am so sorry.
  • Aquarius: james ellsworth takes you to the beach. you guys go swimming and he makes you fasten the floaties around his arms. halfway through doing this you realise you can do better. you tell ellsworth to run along into the water. then you leave. good riddance. you escaped him.
  • Pisces: enzo amore takes you out for pizza. he picks the pepperoni off the pizza and feeds it to you. everything is going great. then big cass comes and kicks enzo. enzo's face goes flying into the pizza. you kick big cass and drive enzo home. he smells like pizza - which is a good thing.
  • Also WWE: More than???? 4 women????? on Raw????????? i cant believe this "emma" lady thinks shes a "wrestler" who "works here" and deserves ""respect""??????????