wtnv*

villains night vale has had
  • season 1: a tiny city under a bowling alley
  • season 2: capitalism
  • season 3: several eldritch-horror monsters in an anti-government conspiracy alliance (addendum: also physical distance as a thing that exists and separates people)
  • season 4: actual satan
  • season 5: denial
here’s what we know.

our cecil:

  • doesn’t have a brother
  • has evidence of a brother in his home
  • has a sister
  • is openly gay
  • lives in night vale, in which lgbt people are completely accepted

cecil from cal’s timeline:

  • grew up in a homophobic environment 
  •  has a brother (cal)
  • abby does not exist
  • janice does not exist

cecil from the cassette timeline:

  • dies at fifteen
  • at the age of fifteen, has a brother
  • this brother has “hollow eyes”
  • this brother believes radio voices should be high
  • would recreationally vandalize things alongside cal as a teenager

kevin:

  • has “dark black eyes”
  • radio personality 
  • high voice
  • lives in a town more conservative than night vale (desert bluffs)
  • during the strex invasion, was physically handicapped
  • shown to enjoy dark, twisted things
  • often described as having a gruesome smile
  • has a fascination with teeth, gore and blood
  • decorates using the above

cal:

  • is cecil’s brother from an alternate timeline in which cecil never came out as gay
  • coughs up teeth
  • is bleeding throughout his episode 
  • leaves a bloodstain on cecil’s rug

abby:

  • is cecil’s sister from the timeline in which the show takes place

 “ash beach”:

  • similarly to how in “cal”, cecil hears crunching eggshells, the figures are describes as sounding like cracking egg shells
  • it was an episode in which people experienced false memories
  • in the episode, john peters (you know, the farmer?) experienced false memories of his long-lost brother

here’s what we don’t know.

  • e v e r y t h i n g

AND THIS IS ALL WITHOUT FUCKING MENTIONING HUNTOKAR, THE BLOOD-SPACE-WAR, THE END OF THE WORLD, OR THE RUSSIAN STUFF.

night vale inspired horoscope, brought to you by musterni!


aries: quiet reflexion is next to impossible if your mental landscape is one long scream.
taurus: you inspire me to be better! a better “what” is up for interpretation. (person? arsonist? alien?)
gemini:  we don’t know where you came from, but we need you to go back.
cancer: gratuitous violence: unnecessary, satisfying, heartbreaking, and so like everything else you love. 
leo: I lived better when I was ignorant of the sun, tucked away in your chest. 
virgo: there is a variety of sadness that makes a home in your guts and never quite leaves. 
libra: if only it were easy! to wish and want for nothing. if only you weren’t less human for it - wishing and wanting for nothing. 
scorpio: you’ve long seen your downfall spelled out in another’s bone. 
sagittarius: love to distraction, die due to carelessness. 
capricorn: your ego cannot afford cremation or caskets. 
aquarius: you’re dazzling and terrifying - those words are not as removed from one another as you may think. 
pisces: flirt with death, tease the inevitable, give the void a saucy wink. 

horoscope
  • <p> <b>aries:</b> I know this is a hard time for you, aries, but remember: 'tis better to have loved and lost. it’s really great, just the best.<p/><b>taurus:</b> step on a crack, break your mother’s back. pick up the phone, break your mother’s tailbone. take your coffee with creamer, break your mother’s femur. the wizard’s spell has gone terribly wrong, and you must not move at all until it is reversed.<p/><b>gemini:</b> you will meet a tall, handsome stranger. he will introduce himself, you will come to know him well, and he will know you well. he will grow older. his skin will sag and thin. he will no longer be handsome. he will no longer be a stranger. he will no longer be most of the things he once was. he will be a close friend, an old friend, one you’ve known for years, and with whom you are settling down into that final stretch of life. but he will always be tall. so tall. very, very tall.<p/><b>cancer:</b> I’m not saying this is bad news, but the stars just say “aaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!” I mean, maybe that’s a good sign, right? right? it’s a very inexact science.<p/><b>leo:</b> today is your lucky day! which is good news, because tonight is your unlucky night. but enjoy this lucky day until the sun goes down. until the very second the sun goes down. and then…and then…<p/><b>virgo:</b> you should check under your bed before you go to sleep. that way the thing hiding in your closet will think you haven’t realized where it is yet.<p/><b>libra:</b> all eyes are on you. gross! give them back!<p/><b>scorpio:</b> mars is intersecting with Mercury, which means your head is weirdly big for your body, and no one wants to tell you because they don’t want you to have the grace of self awareness. ugh! scorpios.<p/><b>sagittarius:</b> you worry too much about earthquakes and plane crashes. you’re going to die of heart disease or cancer, just like everybody else.<p/><b>capricorn:</b> stop throwing your money away on expensive cars and nice clothes. the owners of those cars and outfits do not appreciate the crumpled dollar bills you keep throwing on them! and anyway, if you want to throw something away, that’s what garbage cans are for.<p/><b>aquarius:</b> you’ve been so stressed lately. why not just sit outside tonight, relax, look up at the stars, and know basically nothing about the world you live in.<p/><b>pisces:</b> scorpions are not as dangerous as everyone thinks. try to concentrate on that. it’ll help you feel a little calmer tomorrow.<p/><b></b> (welcome to night vale ep75)<p/></p>

ok but Cecil writing cute little notes to Carlos like, “i love you” and “you look great today” and hiding them around the house for Carlos to find, he gets disheartened when a few days have past and Carlos hasn’t written back or acknowledged them but it turns out that the faceless old woman who secretly lives in their house has been finding and eating the notes