wtfavengers

Cascade by *turbofanatic

After the death of the Sentry and his warnings about of the arrival of the monstrous alien Brood, the Black Panther uncovers a secret plot to destroy the West Ford* Satellite in order to protect the earth. The destroyed satellite would launch millions of needles into high orbits and initiate a Kessler Syndrome** event, causing the earth to be enveloped in an envelope of hypersonic orbiting bullets, and rendering space travel impossible for centuries. All this in hopes of keeping aliens off the vulnerable planet. The Panther must track down the plotters, but isn’t even sure if he should stop it.”

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It’s done! Check out Deltavengers 1i: Orthogonal! Now available for free here as a pdf!

What is all this nonsense? Early in 2014 I decided to put my drink-n-draw time to actual use. I also wanted to practice stuff like faces, plotting, and lettering. Thus, I started adapting my weird Avengers fanart into a thirty page black and white comic. This one focuses on Bruce Banner to start, but a certain Russian shows up soon enough.

It’s a strange Avengers alternate universe, much more indebted to  pulp-sci-fi than anything else, and while not hard science it’s definitely harder than anything I’ve seen in a comic lately (a low bar, I know). Hopefully I explained things clearly and didn’t mess up the physics too much.

There is some violence in here, some nudity, and a fair amount of good ol’ body horror.

If you liked it a lot, here’s my better not-done-in-a-bar comic, Aphelion!

Comments/critiques are super appreciated!

P.S. LIGO is real, and hecka cool

Somebody needs a juice box and a nap.

I feel bad for revamping the Hulk design since people have done wonderful fanarts of him that I love very much, but at the same time I know you’re all here for crazy ideas, and who am I to deny you that?

I decided to push the whole “Hulk is a higher dimensional being” idea by explicitly making portions of him not connect properly. They’re all connected in 4-space, but not here. They also tend to change shape, more if he’s mad.

The experiment Bruce was caught in was intended to produce ripples in space large enough to confirm/disprove string theory and other physics theories. It did its job and shunted Bruce out sideways in space. So now he has an “echo” of himself in 4-space and whenever he’s in a similar state to how he was when first shunted sideways (angry, hurt, etc.) it reattaches to him. The reattachment also warps space a bit, a very nauseating experience where right angles are no longer 90 degrees.

Repeating the experiment just folds people in on themselves. Bruce’s Hulk echo is still in the way.

I’ve gotten pretty good at making guesses about higher dimensions after spending way too much time working on 4D surfaces for work. That was interesting and hurt my brain.

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Here’s the fixed up and collected first four pages of my Avengers fancomic. With luck, I might complete this. Maybe. I make no guarantees because the only consistent property of my finished works is that I never promise to complete them.

I’ve been playing around with sound effects here, they’re fun which is something I wasn’t expecting. The Aphelion project doesn’t get sound effects because that sort of *text over the visual scene* conceptual space is taken up by radio signals because everyone is a silly robot. So it’s great to practice them here.

(In case you haven’t noticed I love analyzing comics and how they work SO MUCH)

Poor Hulk. He’s aware that his mother is dead, he’s just so desperate he’s almost convinced himself that she’ll come back if his father were gone. :(

“Okay, look Captain, I am kind of recuperating from the Effing dragon fight and have three broken ribs which makes it really painful to talk, so this had better be good.”

“The dragons name was Fing, and yes, I understand that I owe you one Tony.”

“AAAAAAaaand if you just learned how to text I could talk to you without this inhaling nonsense. But I like the idea of Miss America herself owing me one, so please, do go on, having trouble with the doombots?”

“Those went down pretty easily. Bruce got involved too. Hence the easy. But then he took my shield. And I quote ‘HULK DID A SCIENCE TO IT.’”

“Aw jeez Cap'n, you sound disappointed, Hulk science is the best science. Better than Mythbuster science because it involves even more destruction and screaming. Speaking of screaming, he didn’t eat anyone did he?”

“No-wait is does that happen a lot? This is my first time working with him, is that a thing?”

“Oh you are so adorably naive I could pinch you, if y'know, I wouldn’t have even more broken ribs. But anyways, the shield?”

“He punched it until it glowed and then took it away and buried it ten feet deep. He is now claiming it is radioactive, which is not very good for something I’m supposed to be carrying out on missions. And now he won’t talk to me and is destroying the pavement.”

“Oh for the love of, put me on speakerphone, let me talk to him. You can do that right? You know how to use speakerphone?”

“Yes. I’m not totally ignorant of these things.”

“Just mostly, HEY BRUCEY! Please give the captain her shield back, she’s got Nazi’s to throw it at. You like Nazis being hurt right?”

“ECKS RAYS.”

“Okay, what about X-rays? What did you do?”

“'SORBS ENURGEE. PLANCK’S LAW. SMASHED A LOT. TOO HOT. DID A SCIENCE.”

“Holy shit, you really did a science there didn’t you? Captain, the shield will absorb the energy from a howitzer round and not break your arm off. Where the hell does that energy go? It’s been driving Bruce nuts. Turns out it slowly releases the energy in the form of heat. He punched it until the heat made it turn colors, and then punched some more because he doesn’t do moderation well. Maybe to the point where it’s emitting X-rays. Just wait a few days, it’ll be fine.”

“Okay, so why’s he still… large and green?”

“DIDDINT AHPRESHEYATE HULK’S SCIENCE.”

I wish I had both the opportunity and the stamina to just draw silly comics all day because I think Deltavengers Black Panther is pretty cool.

Playing around with the idea that his suit is a fancy tensegrity structure, endowing him with super human strength. Might have more capabilities, dazzle camouflage, radio antennae, sound damping metamaterials.

And awesome claws. Gotta have awesome claws. Screw you wolverine.

The sound of the military helicopters faded into the distance, mingling with the thumping of Bruce’s hypertrophied heart.

“Betty should go. Not safe.”

“No.” She stiffened up. It was still weird to hear him speak. “I’m not leaving, we’re taking the data to Tony and we’re going to fix you. I’m sure the process can be reversed-”

“Can’t unbake cake. Can’t make entropy negative.”

He picked her off his shoulders and placed her on the ground.

“Not safe.”

“We can hide from SHIELD’s helicopters! Tony will help us!”

Hulk not safe. Just like father. Gets mad. Yells. Hits things. Not safe.”

“Bruce, you’re not like him at all. They were shooting at us.”

He looked at the ground.

“Would your father have let your mother leave if she wanted to?”

“No.”

“See? You’re better than him, remember that.” She held up her flash drive. “I’m taking this to Tony Stark and we’re going to figure out how to fix you.” She started walking to the road. “And then I’m coming back and we’re going to win a fucking Nobel prize with this data! Together!”

He smiled.

I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out how WTFavengers Hulk works. And it has SCIENCE! Sort of.

Our universe has three spatial dimensions (if there are others they are too small to see). These are left and right, up and down, forwards and backwards. The Hulk exists perpendicular to all that.

For the sake of explanation, let’s imagine a two dimensional creature encountering a three dimensional human, it will be helpful to extrapolate this later to humans dealing with the Hulk.

A 2-D creature can only see forwards and backwards, left and right, if a human hand moved up or down in front of such a creature, they’d see four circles (the fingers), then five circles (fingers and thumb), then one large oval (the palm). It would appear to be changing size and shape. Also, since the 2D creature has negligible mass compared to the hand, they really can’t resist it at all when it decides to mess things up.

That’s basically how humans see the Hulk. Banner is one end, the Hulk is the other end (hopefully!) and the transformation is really just him moving sideways in a way we can’t see. And we are negligibly massed compared to it, hence the nigh infinite strength.

I suspect that it’s purposefully limiting itself as Banner, I think it might be a post-thinker device that got lost and imprinted on Banner’s brain when he got nuked.

Hey look, it’s the heartwarming adventures of two cannibals.

Long story short, SHIELD gets a hold of Sabretooth accidentally. Knowing full well he’s gonna break out anytime soon, they handcuff an unwilling Bruce Banner to Sabretooth’s rib (partly adamantium). SHIELD has a fair amount of adamantium handcuffs laying around. They’re pretty useful.

Banner has his collar on that sedates him if he gets too worked up, so he can only change if severely injured. Of course, if he does hulk out, first thing he’s going to do is eat Sabretooth.

Unsurprisingly, Sabretooth still breaks out. Except now he’s got a pissy Banner handcuffed to him, and he has to keep him safe. And Banner’s trying to hurt himself or annoy Sabretooth into hurting him. Thus begins a long romp across Florida.

And then they wake up the Pym Chickens.

(Psshaw commented about Sabretooth and Wolverine AND I GOT IDEAS)

That’s it for Worldbuilding Weekend! Hopefully it wasn’t too spammy!

Early work on the Black Widow for WTFavengers.

She’s not “officially” on the team or a part of SHIELD. She’s a Russian super agent and that’s mostly where her loyalty lies. She’s helped save the world with the Avengers several times, and gets involved with them whenever Russian interests are at stake, but that’s it. She’s got her own work to do.

Her missions often involve her disguising herself as someone to gather information, but no one’s actually figured out what she really looks like. Rumor has it that she kills anyone who’s seen her real face, earning her the codename “Black Widow.”

Putin claims he’s seen her face, but that’s probably not true.

She’s not a powerhouse by any means, her MO is to get in close and kill quickly and quietly. Her gear includes a helmet with NBC (Nuclear Biological Chemical) filters, advanced optics, gecko based high surface area wall climbing gloves and boots, silenced pistols, non-newtonian fluid armor, tear gas, various grenades, and various knives (vibranium tipped, CO2 cartridge explosives, etc).

“Shut your fucking mouth.”

“Pussycat, Pussycat, I’ve got flowers and lots of hours to spend with you!”

“Shut it.”

“So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose!”

“Rrrrrrrrr.”

“Pussycat, Pussycat, I’ll eat you, in a stew! You and your pussycat nose!

Sabretooth lifted up Banner by his leg and stared down at the smaller man.

"Shut your face or I carry you upside down the whole way.” He hissed.

“Fine. Jeez.” Banner was eye level with Sabretooth’s knee. “You and Wolverine are no fun at all.”

“You know that little shit?”

“I think I pulled his arms off and ate most of his liver. He definitely started it though. I feel like the best way to greet an enormous monster-child sniffing flowers in the Canadian wilderness isn’t to stab it in the back.”

Sabretooth made a toothy grin. “Not bad.”

_____________________________________________

Sequel to this.

Oh wow I am actually writing this? Aterribleidea had some neat thoughts about Pym chickens and I kinda wanna do this. I need writing practice as much as I need people-interacting-with-things practice (which is a LOT).

Pfft. The WTFavengers AU Captain America wasn’t found frozen in some iceberg. WTFavengers Cap walked halfway across Greenland hallucinating after thawing out due to global warming, killed and ate a polar bear, and used its blood to make a distress signal eventually spotted by airliners flying over the arctic circle.

Don’t fuck with her.

Page 3/3 of the minicomic is done! I’ll be collecting these in one post later. This was a really good experiment. I can see a lot of flaws, but that was the point. The more flaws I find on short little trials like this the more I can recognize and fix them in my main comics.