wtf voldemort

For reasons I decided to see what/when summer was for Hogwarts curious to see how similar it is to us muggles and all I can say is what the duck Tom riddle was more of a little shit then we thought before he became voldemort like seriously THAT’S why he framed hagrid poor little orphan didn’t want to go home so let’s frame a kid for murder of a young girl and RUIN his life?

I love the movie adaptation of Goblet of Fire, I really do, but it is just so extra. Like, WTF. The part where Voldemort pokes Harry’s head, and the Weird Sisters at the Yule Ball, and the fireworks leprechaun, and the random dance numbers, and that part where Madame Maxime picks something out of Hagrid’s beard and fucking eats it to be sexy, and Barty Crouch, Jr’s weird tongue flick thing, and Moaning Myrtle being a perv in the bath, and Snape pulling back his sleeves to hit Harry and Ron for talking during a test, and the fireworks dragon they stole from Fellowship of the Ring… this list could go on forever, so I’ll stop here

Favorite book: Harry Potter Series

Favorite movie: Harry Potter Series

Favorite anime : Harry Potter Series Japanese Dub

Reborn x Harry Potter Crossover (AKA Where Tsuna is a Slytherin and People Dunno How or Why)

Set at least 2-5 years post-canon.

Turns out, magic is an offshoot of flames that is thought to have died out, a long, long time ago. To normal people, of course. The higher ups of Vongola still know about it, as do the Acrobaleno, Millefiore, Shimon, etc. Thus, Reborn is given the task of giving the Tenth Generation a crash course in magic. But of course, since this is Reborn, he decides to go all out and introduce the Tenth Generation as Hogwarts transferees. And if he gets dame-Tsuna to take out ‘Lord’ Voldemort while he’s at it? Even better, cause now the wizards would have to owe Vongola a debt!

Point #1: Reborn waltzes in as the new DADA professor. Obviously, since this is Reborn, he has a degree in that too, and a brief stint in Auror-life as well.

  • (needless to say, he is very, very famous)
  • Hogwarts students were in awe, but after their first class they’re now all terrified.
  • Mcgonagall is forever baffled. Leon changes into objects without spells? Wandless magic??? And how do muggle guns work in Hogwarts anyways?
  • Snape finds a new frenemy. They bond trading insults/barbs while coming up with new ones for their stupid students. 

Point #2: The Guardians are sorted into the different houses (not that something like houses would keep the Guardians from their precious sky’s side).

  • Yamamoto is sorted into Gryffindor. He makes a terrifying Beater. The Gryffindor Quidditch team is overjoyed.
  • Gokudera is sorted into Ravenclaw. The Sorting Hat was very bemused when he heard a variety of threats of ‘put me with Tenth or else I’ll-’. Though to be honest, 'disintegrate you with Storm Flames’ is a pretty unique threat.
  • Ryohei is sorted into Gryffindor TO THE EXTREME. Many Gryffindor students are looking into silencer spells.
  • Chrome is sorted into Hufflepuff. Mukuro was slightly surprised that he didn’t corrupt her enough to be sorted into Slytherin yet.
  • Hibari and Mukuro are both sorted into Slytherin. Draco eyes them contemplatively when both boys decided to sit as far away from each other as possible. He could use new lackies … (er, good luck with that, Draco)

Point #3: And then we come to our dear cinnamon roll. Tsuna, despite surviving for x amount of years with Reborn, trembles noticeably as he walks up to the Sorting Hat. He barely keeps himself from tripping out of nerves (Reborn would shoot him if he did), and sits down fretfully.

  • The Golden Trio takes one look at the fluffy boy and thinks Hufflepuff. Or maybe Gryffindor if he had some inner, inner, very inner leadership skills.
  • Draco and his gang takes one look at the bowed head and trembling hands and thinks Hufflepuff for sure.
  • So does Snape. And Mcgonagall. Professor Sprout is already making plans on how to mother the cute dear.
  • The Sorting Hat straightens, and yells …“SLYTHERIN!”
  • Reborn smirks.
  • “What?” Harry asks.
  • “WHAT.” Draco’s mouth drops open. Snape twitches as everyone stares in disbelief. Tsuna trembles more (Reborn was smirking! Smirking! Something bad was going to happen to him!) and trips twice on his way to his table. Hibari grudgingly makes his way to Mukuro so they could welcome their Sky.
  • Reborn is very happy with this development. One, it meant that he was rubbing off on Tsuna! Two, his dame-student was now situated with his two strongest guardians; Reborn didn’t have to squirrel Tsuna away to his private room for protection any more.

Point #4: Tsuna is unwillingly dragged into Magic shenanigans.

  • Philosopher’s Stone: Troll? Eat dynamite! And Tsuna’s XX-burner! (Tsuna learns a spell to reverse damage that year when he and Gokudera blows up/burns the girl’s bathroom. He iS SO HAPPY)
  • Chamber of Secrets: Sweet, sweet Chrome is petrified and Tsuna is pissed. Tom Riddle’s ghost thing? Yeah, you’re just a figment of time who’s gonna go down.
  • PoA: Dementors do not effect Tsuna. At all. Why? Cuz they are ripping of Tsuna’s Zero Point Breakthrough.
  • Goblet of Fire: HAHAHA GUESS WHO GOT PICKED. HAHAHA THREE GUESSES. If your first two isn’t 'Tsuna’, then it doesn’t count. On the other hand, Tsuna is in the lead by a lot. He sees the dragon and unleashes Natsu. Byakuran’s dragon was scarier after all. Gokudera is the one who goes skinnydipping in the river, and once again Tsuna is Not. Happy. He manages to get his friend out by freezing the whole lake, except for his friend and the other captured people (judges don’t know if this is cheating since he’s helping the other contestants? Who freezes an entire lake???). In the third task, it is Tsuna who reaches the cup first (Hyper Intuition leading him but also trying to warn him of something. what) so cue meeting with evil Voldemort. Tsuna is just, done. (“Why can’t you dead people just stay dead? akjahfkdjah”)
  • Order of Phoenix: Tsuna gets into Umbridge’s detention with Harry. Afterwards, his Guardians come together to plot how to kill the toad woman slowly for making Tsuna bleed.
  • Half Blood Prince: The KHR gang gets Moretti to help fake Dumbledore’s death. All is well.
  • Deathly Hallows: Tsuna is so, so done. He has to deal with rainbow flames and baby curses and immortals, why does he have to deal with a creepy dead dude without a nose who wants to become a Kawahira? One Kawahira is enough for the world, thank you! Voldemort stood no chance. After all, he wasn’t an OP Daemon Spade. And really, Killing Curses are green and slow. Much easier to avoid than Reborn’s shooting.

Point #5: other extra notes

  • Draco is booted from his Seeker position because of Tsuna. To everyone’s eternal surprise, the boy is a natural flyer (Mukuro: *dryly* Oh, I wonder why.) who isn’t afraid of doing very dangerous-looking stunts. Tsuna just wants to get the flying gold thing, because he swears Reborn has a gun pointed at him and he really doesn’t want to be shot that day, please.
  • To Snape’s pleasant (?) surprise, Tsuna is actually really good at Potions (it’s because Tsuna learned cooking from Nana shhh).
  • The Gryffindor Quidditch team is forever exasperated because Yamamoto would never try and hit Slytherin’s new Seeker. The only way it would happen is if he does it by accident (but it still has Gokudera screaming his head off)
  • Gokudera is in UMA heaven. Werewolfs! Centaurs! Ghosts! He stalks Headless Nick and Lupin for a week.
  • Draco tries picking on Tsuna once with his lackies, but is immediately, uh, deterred when he got a tonfa to the eye and a trident to his gut.
  • Cue WTF moment for Voldemort when Tsuna faces him with, not his wand, but a pair of mittens.
  • Actually, cue WTF moment for everyone the first time they see the cute and fluffy Tsuna fight.
  • Ron was convinced that the Sorting Hat made a mistake sorting Tsuna, and that the tuna should have been sorted into Hufflepuff. Until Tsuna punches the troll in the face and sends the guy flying and crumbling two walls.
  • Reborn has a lot of fun torturing his students. Tsuna is instantly admired when they found out that the poor boy had been tutored by Reborn for years.
  • “No, Reborn! Don’t bring Harry and his friends into the Mafia! I don’t need backup Guardians, ohmygod.”

Hahahaha … this turned into a long thing. I’ve always wanted to write this, but I’ve already got too much ongoing stories on my plate. Slytherin!Tsuna is a guilty pleasure of mine, because, well, he is a Mafia boss. Slytherins are “seeking individual greatness - but Slytherins look out for their own group and see themselves as much more unified than Ravenclaws or Gryffindors.” They are also cunning leaders, and I believe this suits Tsuna in a way. We especially see it in TYL!Tsuna, who plans such a big hoist. Although Tsuna is one to jump to his friend’s aid (loyal like Gryffindor/Hufflepuff), he does not seek for glory or fame. And after a few years in the Mafia know and tutored by Reborn, I believe his sense for fairness will also diminish. After all, he works with Mafia, these people are never fair and if he has to be unfair to keep his friends safe, I believe Tsuna would do it. Tsuna can also be described a a Hufflepuff, family oriented, but he is/will be a leader and that will not change. Students are sorted by the Sorting Hat to houses where it thinks they will prosper, and being sorted into Slytherin would definitely help. And honestly, I don’t believe that Reborn didn’t rub off on Tsuna at all. He must have. Plus, I really want to see the reactions of the whole of Hogwarts when they realize, cute, mousey Tsuna is a Slytherin.

I’m not sure if Tsuna would stay for the whole 8 years. If they do, then perhaps time runs differently for them? Reborn probably won’t be the DADA professor for all the years too.

I submitted this at the KHR AU blog but they haven’t posted it yet, so I hope I can submit it at my own blog too. Feel free to use this idea, but please show it to me/credit!

The Cursed Child spoilers

IT HAS TO BE FAKE.
Voldemort impregnated Draco’s wife?
He also had a daughter with Bellatrix?
Time travel?
Cedric Diggory’s a Death Eater?
The Scorpion King?
Voldemort Day?
The Blood Ball?
Harry being a shitty father?
IM HYPERVENTILATING. THIS ISN’T REAL. It can’t be.
On a side note, Scorose and Draco liking taking orders from Hermione made me go YAY. And a Slytherin Albus.

Good versus evil. It’s time to pick a side my friends. Who are you fighting for?!

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