wtf is this pairing

New element in Yuri Plisetsky’s free skate program. It’s called: “Jump and Kiss”
(then “Fall” by Otabek Altin bc after all it wasn’t Yuri’s best idea)

fancifultrash  asked:

I'm always weak for Scott and Reyes so you successfully baited me congrats. What about Scott doing something incredibly stupid on Kadara and coming back to the slums with a pissed off and worried Reyes? Cue Scott being super endeared yet annoyed since he's usually the one stressed out over the others stupid ideas.

This was cute. It’s about 1200 words so I’ll put most of it under a read more. Thanks for the prompt!


Reyes hunched forward, his elbows on his knees and his brow creased in concentration. He touched a finger to his earpiece, “I repeat: Aguila 1, do you have eyes on the objective?”

Again, only static answered, punctuated by the stutter of distant gunfire. Reyes willed himself to remain calm but before he could broadcast again, there was crackle of distortion, “Copy, Charlatan. I have eyes on the prize but it’s getting pretty hairy out here. We’re about a click, click and a half east of the base, it’s– it’s an ambush set up but–”

“Aquila, I’m losing you,” Reyes said. More shots. His hands curled into fists as he tried to stuff down the rising swell of panic in his throat. He couldn’t let his scout hear it, “What’s the Pathfinder’s status? Aguila, can you read me?”

“Ryder looks like he’s– and there’s another drop ship arriving, I can see it coming over the–Roekaar, definitely—” the connection was getting worse, Aguila’s voice was barely audible over the static. The Roekaar must have been using jammers, or they were on the other side of the spiny ridge of mountains near the base and the signal was blocked. Either way, Reyes was struggling to get the full picture. What he did know, sounded bad.

He swore under his breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. His mind raced as he tried to pull enough threads together formulate a plan, but there was nothing he could grasp for; he didn’t know exactly where they were, couldn’t pin down Aguila’s transponder location, and didn’t have any patrols in the area east of the rebel base that could immediately assist.

“The turian– down, it looks like– going after her, that dumb son of a bitch is going to–visual confirmation has been lost, I repeat–”

“Stay with him, Aguila. I need eyes on the Pathfinder, don’t let me down,” Reyes urged. His pulse was jumping, his heart hammering at his ribs.

“Negative, Charlatan–too hot, I’m pulling back to point–” the line crackled for a final time, “–see you back in port. Try not to hate me too much.”

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Femslashing It Up 2k17

To start off 2017, let’s take a look at where femslash is at right now. Here’s the current number of fics for the top ten pairings on AO3:

  • Drarry: 20,358
  • Wolfstar: 9,183
  • Snarry: 7,914
  • Ronmione: 5,543
  • Hinny: 4,356
  • Jily: 4,065
  • Dramione: 3,953
  • Snape/Hermione: 2,280
  • Snape/Lupin: 2,111
  • Scorbus: 614

Note the complete lack of f/f pairings in the top ten. Also wtf is up with all this snape crap? After clicking the f/f box, here are the stats:

  1. Drarry: 512
  2. Linny: 443
  3. Ronmione: 353
  4. Ginmione: 292
  5. Hinny: 275
  6. Wolfstar: 256
  7. Pansmione: 238
  8. Hermione/Luna: 167
  9. Jily: 162
  10. Fleur/Hermione: 97

So, um, yeah. The top “f/f” ship is Drarry, and only half the ships in the top ten are actually femslash pairings. Of all the fics in the HP fandom, only about 1/10 are femslash. So then we arrive at the question: why?

Common excuses reasons I hear for having so little femslash:

  • The protagonist is a guy, so it only makes sense that the top pairings include him. Yeah, true, but…they don’t. Seven pairings in the top ten don’t.
  • The fandom is full of straight girls fetishizing gay men. Fetishization is definitely a problem–in every fandom, not just HP. But it also isn’t a good reason for so little femslash. To start, generalizations like this are negative and damage fandom unity, pinning people against each other. Second, if the entire m/m category was fetishized smut for people to masturbate to, this might be the case. But…it’s not. There are thousands of meaningful, in-character m/m fics that people of every sexuality can enjoy, because fanfic isn’t just about sex (though that can be a major factor, and that’s okay, too!). It’s about reimagining canon and seeing your favorite characters face new situations and go on new adventures and fall in love and more. So if we can have non-fetishizing m/m fics, then we should be able to have f/f fics that meet the same criteria.
  • That stupid nonsense where people hate female characters that get in the way of m/m ships. Like??? Femslash solves this??? But so often it’s part of the reason there isn’t any. Think about it. Ginny doesn’t have to be the raging, jealous ex in the Harry/Draco equation. She can date Luna. Simple as that.
  • Femslash is never as well developed because the female characters are two-dimensional. Sure, female characters don’t interact with each other very often in Harry Potter, but in no way are they two-dimensional. Part of the magic of Harry Potter is that JKR develops even her side characters extraordinarily well. If that’s not being conveyed in f/f fanfic, then that’s our challenge–to bring JKR’s beautiful, dynamic characters to life.
  • Straight up sexism. There seems to be this idea that sex and relationships aren’t as meaningful or important if there isn’t a man involved. I don’t think this really needs an explanation–can we all agree that’s just…wrong? Cool? Cool.

Now that we’ve established the issue and rebutted the inhibitors of f/f pairings, let’s look at the reasons we should all contribute to the femslash revolution:

  • To get rid of the stereotype of objectification. Lots of the f/f out there is fetishized rubbish, and it gives sapphic women a bad name (remember when commotion with the lesbian tag? yeah me, too). By creating more realistic, meaningful femslash content, we can start changing those stereotypes and normalizing sapphic relationships. Yay!
  • vAriEty… Let’s make this simple. More pairings, more diversity, more fics, more content, more.
  • Equality, anyone? There’s so much sexism in the world without us contributing to it. Hermione wouldn’t stand for it. Ginny wouldn’t take this sitting down. (funny how those two expressions mean the same thing) Neither should the rest of us.
  • It’s awesome. Like seriously. Writing femslash. Reading femslash. Creating femslash art, aesthetics, headcanons. Viewing femslash art, aesthetics, headcanons. Amazing. 10/10. Would recommend.

Reminder: You don’t have to feel guilty for m/m pairings. My blog title is “Riddikulusly Drarry”–not going to judge. The purpose of this isn’t to keep you from shipping your otp. It’s to bring awareness to the lack of femslash and encourage the creation of more. We’re trying to lift f/f pairings up, not bring m/m down.

So…what now? We make it happen. Here are a few ways you can contribute:

  • Like and reblog this post to spread the word
  • Follow blogs supportive of or devoted to femslash (ie. @hpfemslashweek @femslasharmy @harrypotterfemslash @nymphadoravtonks and @ginnys to name a few) and reply with your personal favorites if ya like!
  • Read some femslash. Either you’ll be lucky and find some of the beautiful gems out there, or you’ll see why we need a revolution. Win-win.
  • Support creators of original femslash content by liking, reblogging, and following
  • Create your own femslash content! Write a fic. Draw some fanart. Make an aesthetic or a photo manip. Create headcanons or write a chat between characters. Write and record a song. Note: I track the tag #owlswithfins and I’d be happy to reblog any original content you create. Submissions are also open if your blog isn’t HP oriented.

It’s a new year, and we have the opportunity to make a difference. Like, reblog, and start femslashing it up!

In early 2016, a pair of Brazilian bank robbers faced a conundrum. They needed to hide the waves of heat radiating from their impeccably tanned bodies long enough to fool the security systems and abscond with the entirety of Banco de Brasil’s valuables. The solution they came up with? The very same one Elmer Fudd would use: They covered themselves head-to-toe in aluminum foil.

Here’s the most amazing part: It worked! The foil successfully shielded the thieves’ presence from the bank’s heat sensors. But there was one tiny problem with the unorthodox scheme: No secure installation outside of a Mission: Impossible film uses only heat sensors. 

Somehow the security guards watching this unfold live on camera managed to stop laughing long enough to phone the police, and the robbery was thwarted. Though if the thieves wanted to try the scheme again, it should stay fresh for the next week or so.

5 Criminal Schemes That Seem Too Ridiculous To Be True

upholstered furniture

pairing: pansy parkinson x harry potter

setting: modern, non-magical, reality/film star au; based on this

word count: 4,654 words


(7:22 am) Did you see the casting news yet? For Boy Who Lived?

(8:15 am) fuck off its sunday

(8:16 am) Ronald.

(8:17 am) unless they chose to go with an actual fucking cgi flamingo i dont give a shit right now and it can wait until tomorrow

(8:19 am) It really can’t. Harry’s going to fire you when he finds out.

(8:19 am) ??????? get ur blasphemous ass back to church no he’s not

(8:20 am) Yes, he is. It was YOUR idea to scrap the chemistry test.

(8:23 am) omg what is ur DAMAGE chemistry tests r dumb af harry hates them

(8:24 am) And sometimes you have to act as his AGENT, not his best friend, and advise him to do the things he hates, Ronald. Like chemistry tests.

(8:25 am) thx for the fortune cookie fun fact i’ll pass it on to harry’s latest oscar nom ok

(8:29 am) Check Variety. They reported on the casting this morning. There was a “leak” at the studio. Naturally.

(8:32 am) harrys gonna fucking fire me ur right


BREAKING: Hurricane Hollywood star tapped for female lead in Paramount’s Boy Who Lived

October 11, 2016. Los Angeles.

Well, it’s official.

Seemingly permanent tabloid staple Pansy Parkinson (Hurricane Hollywood; The Hottie and the Nottie), better known for her outrageous late-night party antics than she is for her acting prowess, has been cast as Harry Potter’s (Under the Stairs) on-screen love interest for the futuristic dystopian thriller, Boy Who Lived, slated for release by Paramount sometime in Summer 2018. While Parkinson has been persistently vocal about her desire to make the transition from her Cristal throne in Vegas to the slightly more respectable silver screen, this will be her first role in a major motion picture.

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anonymous asked:

Jefferson/mac and cheese: date

Thomas Jefferson believed in partaking in only the finer things in life. When you do something, it must be an experience, or nothing will ever be truly appreciated. 

“Oh now, honey, stop,” Thomas chuckled one night, fluffing his freshly washed hair, “You are just too funny.” 

The Virginian had spent all evening working on the romantic setting. He had set the table, lit the candles, and had slow jazz playing softly in the background. Sighing to himself, he rested his chin in his hands as he stared across the table. 

“What did I ever do to deserve something as beautiful as you?” he smiled, batting his eyelashes, “God, I could kiss you.” He bit his lip. “In fact, I will.” Across the table, the ceramic bowl of mac and cheese sat, unmoving. 

“Oh, you gon’ play?” Thomas smirked, giving a little growl, “Okay, I can be salty too.” Reaching over, he shook some salt onto the bowl of pasta, and turned away with his arms crossed. After a moment, he bit his fist, squeezing his eyes shut. “Shit, I just want you so bad, I can’t even last a second.” 

Getting up and clearing all the cutlery off the table in one loud push, he picked up the bowl, and set it on the edge of the couch arm. He took a fork and patted the crusty, aromatic top.

“Mmmm, lovely…” he murmured, admiring the cheesy noodles, the baked layer on top that had his mouth watering and heart pounding. Bringing the fork down a second time, he smacked the noddles with it a little harder. “Mmm yeah, you like that, you like it when daddy spanks you like that?” 

Picking up the bowl and tossing the fork aside with a loud clatter and the sound of a glass shattering, he sucked only the edge of a noodle into his mouth, relishing the flavour and savoury slide of it between his lips. As he swallowed the cheesy goodness and left the noddle naked of its cheese with the others, he moaned a little, gazing down at the pasta with lust-filled eyes and twirling around his living room. 

“You’re driving me wild, sugar,” Thomas breathed, discarding his jacket and trailing a finger through the gooey sauce to lick off. Moaning again, he took off his shirt and pants so that he was only in his boxers, laid down on the couch with the bowl overtop of him, and finally reached the fork up to his mouth for the first sensual, beautiful bite- 

The doorknob turned, and the front door opened. James set his keys down, looked up to see Thomas sprawled, half naked across the sofa with a bowl of macaroni and cheese in his lap… then he turned, picked up his keys again, and left.