wtf do we even tag these two idiots with these days

anonymous asked:

Ok idk if this is dumb or w/e but i think a 10 things i hate about you au would be awesome if u wrote it! Anyways ur literally my fave writer ??? Like ur so bloody good

lets do a brainstorm  

  • james is patrick obvsly and he is just The Worlds Biggest Shite meaning that hes v hot and always smoking in chem and also is rumoured to have drunk paint stripper on a dare and lived 
  • it was actually wine in the paint stripper can but dont tell peter pettigrew bc he thinks james is immortal 
  • lily is kat and once she shoved a tampon so far up a guys nose that you couldnt see the string 
  • lets fuck w/ the plot a bit and say that bianca is petunia and cameron is vernon ONLY lily doesnt want to date anyone bc that means petunia can date vernon and thats #1 on lilys Not Today Or Ever list 
  • (also included on the list are acknowleding slughorn when he speaks or letting mary mcdonald hook up with sirius black when hes meant to be at soccer practise) 
  • everyone is scared of lily except:
  1.  james who couldnt give two shits abt anythin 
  2. sirius whos been on her soccer team since they were 7 and also she knows that if she ever punched him to hard he’d tell everyone abt that time she tripped over the ball when they were 8 
  3. petunia, whose to vapid 2 notice anything (we gotta fudge it to make it work sorry bianca bby i love u and joeseph gordon levitto or whoever the fuck) 
  • anyway: vernon pays james 2 date lily so he can date petunia. cue hijinks
  • james smokes while waiting outside her locker and so she starting walking up wearing a gas mask and ignoring him 
  • james readin up abt all the social causes shes into and dropping into conversation bits like ‘the fact that taiwan has to enter the olympics as chiense taipei is appauling’ and watching lily like. squit at him
  • ‘stop trying to impress me.’ ‘whose trying?’  
  • he stops going to his classes and just starts going to hers like james the fuck man

  • at the concert when shes getting water in that dress and james is just. looking. and lily is just. noticing that hes looking.
  • the bar scene and ‘she likes pretty guys’ and james, straightning up, slips his hair back slightly, clutches his pool que, ‘you dont think im pretty?’ and then punching vernon lol 
  • also: james hearing that lily has black underwear and deadass getting a hard on right there in the bar 
  • lets have snape be some kinda joey donner guy and when lily hits his car at the record store and he calls her a bitch she rams it again
  • THE PARTY SCENE and lilys ding the strip tease and snape is cheering and james pulls lily off the table and also maybe tips snapes drink down his front 
  • ‘your eyes have a little green in them’ and shes so drunk, and james is looking at her even when hes trying very hard not to. how odd
  • she keeps talking abt how she wants to start a band and how sirius could be the drummer and james could play base and she could play guitar because ‘im the only one- whos got the skills *vomits onto james’ shoes*
  • lily tries to kiss him in his car but shes drunk and james isnt a bad guy so he doesnt let her
  • the soccer scene where james gets remus to get the band together and then he sings the song all the while sirius is like bopping his head and lily cannot stop grinning  
  • THE PAINTBALLING SCENE AND JAMES TIES HIS HAIR BACK AND TRIES TO KISS LILY AND SHE SMASHES A PAINT BALLON OVER HIS HEAD 
  • ‘potter did you really sleep with all of the spice girls’ ‘dont be ridiculous. only two out of the five’ 
  • the prom bit where everything goes to hell and lily finds out that vernons been paying james this whole time and shes so sad and hurt and pissed and she leaves only petunia does not go after her. 
  • sirius does 
  • goes to her house the next day and they talk abt sarah laurence and debating how good david beckham actually is 
  • the poem scene and I hate the way you talk to me And the way you cut your hair I hate the way you drive my car I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots And the way you read my mind I hate you so much that it makes me sick It even makes me rhyme I hate the way you’re always right I hate it when you lie I hate it when you make me laugh Even worse when you make me cry I hate the way you’re not around And the fact that you didn’t call But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
  • and james wants to die like right there bc hes a fucking idiot and he’d probably kill all of the spice girls and eat a kidney just to have her talk to him again 
  • he buys her a £2000 guitar with vernons money and tells her what a cock hes been and she makes the joke abt how he cant just buy her an instrament everytime he fucks up and james makes the quip abt how there are lots of instraments and she smiles and he just. feels good again. just like that. 
  • this got super long whoops but u see what i mean

anonymous asked:

Hello amazing humans! I was wondering if you could find some fics where Stiles and Derek are married/long term relationship and get in a domestic dispute? Like something cute and fluffy where they make up in the end? Idk man i just have a craving

At first I was like “wtf is a cute domestic????” then realized you probably just meant an argument.  lol  I watch too many police shows.  Here you go!  Established Sterek fics where they have an argument, but it’s fluffy overall (which was surprisingly hard to fill cause people don’t really tag for that, but I did my best!).  Fill brought to you by this perfect tumblr post highlighting a likely Sterek-style argument -Emmy

Originally posted by superpotterwholockflash

I’ve Been Drinking, I’ve Been Drinking by whyamIalwaysLoislane (Whyamialwaysloislane) 

(819 I Mature I Complete)

Stiles didn’t know how he got himself into these situations. All he’d wanted from his Friday was to sleep off his night shift and maybe get some head. That was it. He didn’t want to go out clubbing with the ladies of his pack, he didn’t expect any of it. He definitely didn’t expect to accidently win a dance competition and be crowned Queen Bee.

That bit was an accident.

A Pretzel and a Pinwheel by Siriusstuff 

(1,734 I General I Complete)  *parents!sterek, married with kids

Stiles isn’t the only one who defends what’s his.

Dog Gates and Domesticity by theinspiredginger 

(2,246 I Not Rated I Complete)

 Prompt:“I want fic where Stiles and Derek get into a really bad domestic spat, something stupid and Derek comes home to find dog gates over all the doorways.”

If Stiles just agreed to fill the ice trays, there wouldn’t have been a problem.

Under Water by foxtricks (knightofbows) 

(4,111 I Mature I Complete)  *parents!sterek, married with kids

The Stilinski-Hales finally get a vacation together, but everything goes wrong.

Swim Until You Can’t See Land by Sylvesterelle 

(24,500 I Mature I Complete)  *road trips

In which Stiles and Derek work out their issues through the power of love (+ milkshakes, museums, and homemade meals pinch-hitting as romantic declarations).

Sequel to Float Until You Learn to Swim.

How Dare You March Into My Heart by tearsandholdme 

(39,588 I Mature I WIP)  *celebrity!derek, student!stiles, mpreg, au

Stiles is a broke university student and Derek is a world famous celebrity. So of course they have a one night stand and of course his whole world is turned upside down.

The Planners Become the Planees by Mickeyhale 

(50.446 I Mature I Complete)  *parents!sterek, married with kids,

Stiles and Derek are simply trying to navigate their way through raising a home full of teenagers. They rely on each other through their crazy, fun filled domestic lives. What they are unawares of, is what their children have planned for them.

Home by TheTypewriterGirl 

(167,178 I Teen I Complete)   *dead!Sheriff, happy ending

January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?

EDIT!

@joanc24 let us know about their fic as well!

Oh for the love of Cheesecake! by joanc24

(1/1 I 2,479 I General)

“Look, let me clean all this shit up. Take an aspirin or two and I’ll make it up to you, I swear. We can still celebrate.” Stiles manages to grab onto Derek’s hands, but Derek pushes them away.

“Celebrate what? Your betrayal? You have no idea of all the things my head came up with, but I thought to myself ‘there’s no way Stiles would ever do this to me’. And even if you did I thought we could maybe work on it or something because I love you, but now after seeing you being like this. Like is no big deal, I don’t think I want to do this anymore.” Derek’s voice breaks at the end, but he refuses to cry again. Not right now, at least.

“Betrayal? I’d hardly call this a betrayal, Derek!” Stiles’ shockingly scoffs and looks at him like he’s the one who’s crazy.

“Excuse me?” Derek is seriously considering punching him now.

[fic] rising upside down: middle [2/3]

he tian x mo guan shan

tags/notes: angst, swearing, allusions to sex, non-consensual kissing; inspired by “Rising Upside Down” by SYML, commissioned artwork by robnemmon, and a conversation with 19daysruinedmylife.

synopsis: jian yi disappears on the second day of high school. how does he tian tell guan shan that he’s going too?

links: part one | read on ao3

Don’t be like me, kid. Don’t turn out like me. Don’t fall in love.

Guan Shan had frowned at that last one, puzzled, not understanding. Mom? he’d asked. Mom put you here?

And his dad laughed, sad and low. Shook his head. Nah, kid. Nah, your mom is… Be good to her. Look after her for me. But don’t fall in love. They’ll wreck you for it.

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Shit Tumblr History Nerds Say to Each Other

Below are quotes - actual quotes - from a Skype chat me and a bunch of tumblr history nerds are in. Yes, we use Skype. We’re losers. Also here’s a disclaimer: it’s a private conversation where messages are typically sent without passing through our brains first. Do not take anything seriously. Also, reading this might will cause cancer.

Cast:

Lex@lex-for-lexington
Fuji, @fujisan-ni-noboru-hinode
Gideon, @tanks-a-lot
Shiggy, @uss-edsall
Joey, @british-eevee
Zach, @supermarketsecurity

Part 1 of ?: Sections 0 - 99

This post contains sections 0-99: 25 AUGUST 2015 to 12 OCTOBER 2015. Joey and Zach were not a part of the chat group yet.


Section 0

Off to a good start,

“you’d think that the friendship between tumblrs two Pacific War historians would be a little intellectual, but nope” - Fuji


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Barry & Iris and moving past friendship

You guys. I wanted to write this right after the episode but I just had to collect my thoughts properly because when I tell you that club scene made me feel some type of way… I ain’t playing. Unlike Barry and Iris

OK so firstly, I loved how adorable and easy going they were with each other from the minute Iris joined them at the club, even with the private little smirk they shared in regards to Wally and Jesse, to them immediately moving away from everyone to just the two of them. They didn’t even realise it but instead of dancing and having a good ol’ time like they were there for! (which I think Cisco pretty much did for them all anyway lol) they decided to get a drink and stand away from everyone at their own table and NOW is where I started to feel some type of way.

How did I feel watching this scene? AWKWARD. and yeah I couldn’t stop smiling at them like an idiot but that’s not the point .

It was pure and awkward and I absolutely loved it.

Throughout this scene Barry and Iris could barely look each other in the eyes for more than a second. THEY WERE AVOIDING EYE CONTACT. 

You know, that thing people to when they like eachother. Alot.

Whenever one was looking away, the other took the opportunity to gaze at them. Why is this? because they both have it baaaad for eachother and to look someone you are in love with in the eyes, is to give yourself away.

Listen to me… Barry and Iris actually took turns to look away while the other looked. You don’t understand how much I was howling at this.

Exhibit A:

Barry has a quick gaze before she catches him looking.

Annndd… Barry looks down so Iris has a quick glance 

Now look at this gif! look at these two idiots doing the absolute most to not look at each other. I mean LOOK. Look at these fools pretending like they are still thinking about Cisco’s dancing at this point.

They are literally using Cisco as their excuse, as if they’re soooo fascinated by his dancing. Barry and Iris are officially having an awkward moment, where they are both thinking and feeling the same thing but are oblivious that that is what the other is thinking also! Excuse me while I join Barry and Iris in ignoring the humongous elephant in the room that is their feelings for each other.

So now that Iris is coming to realise the feelings she has for Barry, it is overwhelming for her. For so long she’s repressed those feelings, so deep that she tried to convince herself they didn’t exist and now the Idea of E2 westallen and the future newspaper are unraveling those feelings and as Candice said, she’s truly seeing Barry in a ‘new light’ which is why she won’t look at him properly here, she already thinks Barry is over her and as vulnerable as she is with these “new found” feelings I think she’s also slightly afraid of rejection at this point.

I mean look at her face here. (A++ FOR THIS EXPRESSION. CANDICE. COMPLETEY NAILED IT.) She legit doesn’t know what to do with herself, she’s never been this shy around Barry. EVER. look at the way she shifts and adjusts how she’s standing as well as looking away when he makes eye contact with her for less than a SECOND. It’s like they both look embarrassed that they got caught looking at the same time, especially Iris.

Ladies and Gentlemen we must applaud the man himself because he actually did it. Barry Allen made Iris West nervous. I never thought I’d see the day and It’s quite hilarious cause Barry has ZERO clue how - to quote Barry himself - “he MAKES her feel”

Now, I know you guys didn’t think I’d finish this post with out analysing the fuck out Barry’s face because WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS LOOK?!! my heart literally skipped when I saw this. - Quick life advice -  If you find someone you love that looks at you like this… like you hang the stars in the sky, like you are the gravity that holds them down, like they’re realising all over again just how much they’re in love with you. do. not. let. them. go. And that my friends, is precisely, the way Barry Allen is looking at Iris West.

And yes. I screenshot and zoomed in because SERIOUSLY, WTF IS THIS?! A- FUCKIN-PLUS to Grant Gustin for his micro-expressions.

and this gif again, because the way he looks at her kills me. It’s honestly so rude.

Also side note: Both of them  REALLLLYYY love the idea of being married because they BOTH kept saying it unnecessarily. First Iris said “If we ever do get married, promise me we you will not do that dance at our wedding” Like ya girls out here planning what they will and will not do at their wedding!! like honey, you’re not even together!

and then a bit later Barry was all “I wonder what our married doppelgangers are doing right now?” ….  really Barry, really? ya just had to emphasise “our married doppelgangers” 

OK YOU TWO, WE GET IT. YOU LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING MARRIED!, NOW IF YOU’D JUST HOP ON DOWN TO THE REGISTRY AND STOP THINKING AND START DOING WE-

and once again I’ve rambled but ah-well. If if you’ve made it to the end and I didn’t bore you to tears then thank you for reading!!

Gif Credit to: @westallengifs and various others that I can’t remember (sorry!) but thank you, gif makers. (if you see yours here feel free to let me know so I can properly tag you)

Stop Using Otherkin Like A Fashion Statement You ASS CLOWNS

I became a part of the otherkin community in 2007 and remained with it for a number of years before slowly deciding to distance myself over time. At the very barest bones I still am an otherkin, but it’s one of those things I like to keep mostly on the down low unless the subject comes up in discussion somehow.

I stumbled upon otherkin by chance while looking up werewolves. It lead me into discovering the concept of therianthropes and then otherkin by association. If you’re new to the concept and just browsing around the otherkin tag looking for answers (you poor fuck), the basic gist of otherkin is someone who believes they were something non-human in a past life/lives and still carry traits of it OR simply feel a very strong spiritual connection to a certain animal in a more totemic sense. Anyone who takes it further than that and insists they aren’t human at all is a fucking idiot who should have their internet privileges taken away.

It’s not a gender thing.

It’s not a trans thing.

It’s not a religious thing.

It’s not a race thing.

It didn’t originate on tumblr.

We don’t use fucktarded pronouns.

We’re not “oppressed”.

And you fakekins need to grow the fuck up and face reality because at the end of the day we are all human in the here and now.

This is going to get pretty long winded so let me slap a read more on this bitch.

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