It was a normal Thursday when I saw her again she was
wearing a white playsuit, she looked gorgeous her long brown hair is now
shoulder length. Taking a sip of my beer I watch as she laughs at something her
friend Louis has just said her hand resting on his arm. I build up enough
courage to go up to her and talk to her “Hey Y/N you look good” I take another
sip of my beer nervously biting my lip “What do you want Calum?” she lets out
an exasperated sigh.
“To talk?” she sighs again grabbing my arm and leading me
outside finishing her drink as we go. “Talk?” she crosses her arms over her
chest. Okay maybe I should have thought through what I was going to say but
right now I’m completely defenceless but it’s only her and I so I might as well
show her my heart, after all that’s probably the best way of getting her back.
“Look I’m sorry about what happened but please can we turn over a new leaf-
pretend it never happen?” I plead with her. She laughs, “You left me not the
other way round… You got what you wanted” both of us in sync pull out a
cigarette and ignite them “ this isn’t what I wanted it’s what you wanted. You
should be happy” she takes a look drag of her cigarette an action I copy. “I’m
not I’m miserable” I tell her honestly.
“Well go find some random one night stand or a different
girl, I’m sure you’re not short of offers” she spits taping the ash of her
cigarette “Obviously that’s why you left to go explore other offers” she’s
bitter I can tell.
“I left because I didn’t want to hurt you, I was leaving for
tour that was hard enough but leaving you that would have broken me and you” I
down my beer.
“So it was partly selfish” she raises one eyebrow at me.
“I did it to protect you” I try getting her to understand my
point of view but fail.
“Don’t you dare?” she points at me “Try and say you did this
to protect me. I was falling in love with you whilst you ran away like a scared
little boy” there are tears in her teas but I know her she would never let them
fall, not in public like this. “Fine!” I shout “It was partly selfish I was
falling in love with you. I’d forgotten what it felt like to fall in love with
someone and have someone love you too. It scared me shitless!” I stare at her
my chest heaving heavily my own eyes welling up “So I did the only thing I’m
any good at and I ran. I love you then, and I love you now. I will never stop
loving you” she stares at me biting her lip as she mulls over what I’ve just
said “I’m sorry but you can say this then why couldn’t you say it then?” she
“I was a child” I answer, “I promise I’m not the same boy
you knew back then” I beg her. “I’m sorry Calum. I’m sure you’ve changed. In
fact I know you have because old Calum would never be so honest with his
feelings. You will make a great boyfriend, husband to someone one day but that
person isn’t going to be; not in this lifetime” She speaks softly kissing my
cheek and walking back in to the club. I follow her down the metal stairs and
through the fire door but I quickly loose her, I decided to call it a night not
really feeling in the mood to party. Hailing a taxi I climb in erupt into tears
the minute I step into my empty hotel room.
A/N: I’ve been on holiday hence why I’ve not been active
My heart beats at a rapid pace,
Like it’s trying to win a quarter mile race,
While my thoughts ease to a halt,
The words always become more difficult to say,
All I know is,
You produce a feeling of ecstasy inside me,
Freedom comes from your lips,
While I’m with you I feel free from my chains,
Free from the pain,
You are my umbrella,
The best thing to protect me from the rain
He is different. I can talk to him at 3 am, he’ll never try to take advantage of my vulnerable self. He is sweet, he is caring, and deciphers even the tiniest shift of emotions. He doesn’t dismiss them, the feelings, instead smiles and nods, understanding. He can look into my eyes and accept his deepest fears. He can be angry at me without hurting. He can be him, and let me be myself, and with him, there are two of us in a relationship, together. That’s how I know, he is a keeper.
Our love blossomed like a flower in the summer time,
But you forgot to water it and It withered when the fall came.
When the fall came
our love changed me like the colors of leaves on all of the trees,
But the leaves quickly fell to the ground,
Much like your promises fell through.
When the Winter Came
You touched me and i froze over like the rivers and streams
that were not sturdy enough to hold my love.
In the Spring the words left my mouth
The words i’ve been dying to tell you,
But you didn’t feel the same. /
And I don’t think i can live to see another season pass.
when the little boy sits to pick the cattails by the pond
he is brisked away by his mother, stuffed into clothes that don’t fit him
his body removed from the sore eyed view of the water
and there’s a girl that knows his mother and passes him notes
she follows him to the pond and stares at the lily pads
her eyes mirror the chaotic buzzing of the dragonflies
because she knows the boy will grow into those clothes
and she frowns at that thought
the older you get
the worse it gets
someone forgot to tell her that
being wise and genuine is torture
in the purest form
not a young cynic or mannered child
just the boy with the skies reflected on his skin
the light always catches his redhead
and stars are jealous of his radiant freckles
every sunday after church he walks by the cliff
growing up he walks closer and closer to the ledge
the girl follows behind him barefooted in a lilac sundress
one day the wind is too hard
footprints are left in the patches of grass
they are sent off to drop into an abyss
until they reach an end
and it’s when you see that the girl holds the boy in her arms
his rusty curls on her damp chest