"I've been thinking that, when we thought the world would break us, that we weren't wrong." (dash)
SILAS WINCED AS DASH HIT A TENDER SPOT. He was bleeding from above his eye, and it ran into his vision, stinging a bit. Silas was not handling this well. With no alcohol to numb the pain, he exploited it. Causing pain, fighting, he was a damn wreck because he didn’t know how to outlet what really needed to happen – him coming clean about the truth. Dash cleaned him up because he was the only one that Silas would allow near him, and in the murky light Dash’s words came out pensive. Silas did not answer for a long while.
There was a difference. Everything that happened to Dash was not his own fault. Everything that happened to Silas was his own fault. Silas had learned that he was ultimately responsible for everything that happened or didn’t happen in his life. There were times where he attempted to escape the blame by blaming others, but it never worked out that way. In end, he took the blame, because it was his own fault. It’s why AA felt like a sham. Everything he did was not because he was addicted to alcohol, ever bad thing he did, he did perfectly sober. Alcohol was no the perpetrator in his case. Alcohol was just the wing man who soothed the wounds.
He was too exhausted to fight Dash as he cleaned him up, blood running down various parts of him. Silas looked like hell, a sober version of himself seven years ago. It wasn’t a good look, but the same demons were chasing him as seven years ago. It just was what it was, and he was stuck in time, unable to move forward and unable to escape the past. Finally, he looked at Dash.
❝ At least we have each other. For better or worse. ❞
I rushed quickly
through the college campus, seriously, my first day and I’m late for class, of
course everything had to go wrong this morning. I dashed through the college
and to my lecture room, the professor was mid sentence, he looked at me with a
“I’m so so sorry.” I
started to speak.
“Just sit down.” He
cut me off and pointed to a seat, I recognise the guy next to the empty seat,
he was cute, dark brown hair cut into a slightly messy style, dark brown eyes,
I wasn’t complaining about sitting next to him I was sure we’d met before.
“It’s Y/N right?” He
said as I sat down, grinning at me, I smiled back and nodded, trying as best I
could to remember his name, it clicked and I remembered it.
“Brendon right? I
added you on Facebook?” He nodded enthusiastically, grinning at me as he took
some notes, the professor cleared his throat and I nodded and looked forward,
listening to the tutor, I kept looking over to see Brendon staring at me, he
had his pen in his mouth, his eyes moving up and down me. I tried to ignore it
but I was finding it kind of hot how much he was staring, I tried to pay as
much attention to the lecture as I could taking some notes and listening as the
professor spoke. After the lecture he stopped me outside of the room.
“Hey, do you have
anymore lectures today? Or just the one?” He asked smiling and putting a
notebook in his bag as well as his laptop.
“No just the one and
of course I had to be late to it.” I laughed and turned to face him, he ran a
hand through his hair and smiled.
“Wanna go for a
coffee? I’ll pay?” He smiled sweetly, and shifted his bag on his shoulder and
tilted his head to the side. “I mean it’s ok if you don’t want to.”
“No, no I’d love to.”
I mean it’s the first day so not like I’ve got much else to do, I gave him a
small smile, he grinned in return and we walked to find a local coffee shop.
We sat chatting in
the coffee shop, we had met at the introduction last week, it was still nice to
see him as just us. He bought me a coffee and sat down opposite me, taking a
sip of his own.
“So… what made you
choose this college.” He asked leaning back and getting comfortable on his
“The music program.”
I smiled and took a sip, looking at him intently.
“No way! Me too, the
music program is the best, being able to practise and not get in shit for it.”
He leant forward, beaming at me.
“Oh my gosh yes! I
bought my guitar, I love playing when I’m bored.” I couldn’t help but smile, he
was so passionate about music it was so cute.
“You play? We should
jam some time, I write songs all the time and it would be cool to have someone
to play with.” He bit his lip as he said it, we wound up having a huge long
coversation about our favourite types of music, we both loved Sinatra, we ended
up staying in the coffee shop for over 2 hours chatting about everything from
music to family to our hobbies. He loved to skate, and even offered to teach
me, finally we decided to leave, I was so shocked, we really did seem to have a
connection. As we left the coffee shop he stopped me.
“You wanna… um come
round my place later, I’m in a joint house, you could come over, we could
listen to some music?” I smiled, he was kind of nervous and it was adorable.
“Sure! I’d love to…
like half 6? We could get a takeout.” I tilted my head to the side, he grinned
and we said our goodbyes, and headed our separate ways, I was excited for
tonight, I may have only just met him, but I really liked him… already.
I’m my room I played
with my hair a little, trying to make myself look good, Brendon and I had swapped
mobile numbers and he messaged me his address, it was 6. I had to leave soon, I
tried to make myself look presentable, I’d noticed a few likes pop up on my
page as I was getting ready, notably on photos from a holiday I took last year,
one shot was of me in a bikini on the beach laying sunbathing, he liked that
one first as well as numerous other ones, I smiled, at least he saw me looking
good I suppose. At about 6:15 I left my place to go see him, I walked the
directions he gave me, when I knocked I was let in by a girl who told me his room
as upstairs. I followed her directions and headed to his door, when I was
outside I heard what sounded like moaning. Was he with a girl or something? I felt
a little pissed considering he had asked me over and now it seemed like he had
a girl over.
“Uhhh Y/N.” I heard through the door and froze, wait what… was he… I blushed a
little and decided to wait a moment before knocking. “Uhh hold up!” He shouted
panicked, I heard a lot of shuffling around. “Come in.” I opened the door, he
looked a little flustered, his cheeks red, I noticed the picture of me in my
bikini open on his laptop but decided to ignore it and spare him the embarrassment,
it kinda made me feel like I wanted him more now, knowing he really did find me
“You ok?” I asked and
sat down on his bed, I kept my eyes off my laptop as I noticed him slam the lid
down quickly, he looked awkward like he didn’t know where to look or what to
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat and shifted, covering his lap. “I’m good, a
little tired, just been… um listening to some music.” I bit my lip a little, I was
getting horny, he looked so flustered and turned on himself, it was getting to
me. I decided maybe I should tease a little, if I could get him to start it
then at least I would know we were both on the same page. I flopped back onto
his bed, letting the bottom of my stomach come out of my t-shirt, I wriggled my
legs a little, stretching out, I could feel his eyes on me.
“So… what did you wanna do?” I asked running my fingers through my hair,
stretching again, he cleared his throat and shifted on the bed.
“We could… put some
music on.” He suggested, I knew he was watching me, hopefully it was having the
desired effect, he shifted and took his laptop, hiding it from my view as he
set his music up. He put on some Frank Sinatra and flopped next to me on the
bed, he looked at me and bit his lip a little.
“Well we should probably learn more about each other right? So… when was your
last girlfriend.” I asked trying to be up front, he hesitated.
“Like a few months
ago? I find it hard to do the girlfriend thing, most girls are so boring, what
about you? When was your last boyfriend?” We made eye contact and I smiled.
“Like 6 months, he cheated so I’ve stayed away from guys since really, I’ve had
a few one night stands though.” I teased a little wanting a reaction, he raised
“So you like sex then?” He asked, being up front with me now.
“Oh who doesn’t?” I grinned and leant on my elbows, leaning my head back. “Don’t
you? Wow it’s bad how quickly this conversation turned to sex.” I giggled and
smiled at him.
“Oh well, so… have you ever done it in public?” He asked bluntly.
“Woah! Ok, fine yeah I have.” He looked at me questioningly. “With an ex at a
gig before. You?”
“Like one time, and it sucked.” He laughed, shifting on the bed to face me.
“Did it? I found it pretty hot, not into kinky stuff then?” I teased, raising
an eyebrow, I moved my legs, trying to look a little sexy.
“Hey I didn’t say that.” His hand trailed up my thigh slowly.
“Nah, I don’t believe you, I think you’re all soft and mushy when I comes to
sex.” I looked at him, trying to stop myself from moaning.
“Oh really? And you’re into kinky stuff, like what then?” He challenged,
looking at me intently.
“Standard stuff, hair
pulling, biting, scratching, I’m just not the dominant one.” I grinned and drew
my leg up slowly, showing off my body a little more, he stared as I moved.
“Ughh fuck this!” He growled practically jumping on me, grabbing hold of me and
kissing me hard, practically pinning me down against his bed, his lips crashing
“You’re not dominant huh?” He teased, holding me down against the bed. “I’ll
show you dominant.” He growled deep from his throat. “Stay there.” He ordered,
standing and walking over to his door to lock it, he came back over and stood
over the bed looking down at me. “Strip.” He bit his lip and watched me I hesitated
and he grabbed my legs and pulled me closer, leaning over close to my face. “Maybe
you didn’t hear me right baby. I said strip.” He bit my lip and pulled it with
his teeth, I slowly slipped my jeans down my legs and off onto the floor,
sliding my top up over my head, I reached behind myself to slip off my bra, he
watched biting his own lip and undoing the buckle on his belt. I slid my
panties down my legs, slowly, teasing him, he dropped his jeans, his buckle thudding
against the floor, I threw my panties on the floor and sat as he watched me,
taking his shirt off.
“What now.” I asked,
looking up at him, he smirked and scolded me.
“Whatever I want.” He teased, standing at the end of the bed, he gripped my arm
and pulled me upright, looking down at me, slipping his boxers down. “Well I need
you to start me off…” He looked at me waiting, I bit my lip and kissed the tip
slowly, teasing him a little, I felt his hand ball in my hair as a warning. “Don’t
tease me.” He moaned, I did as I was told and slowly slid my lips down his cock,
I began to move up and down, using my hand too, he kept his firm grip on my
hair as his head lulled back in pleasure, moaning out loud, I saw him watching
me as I moved my head, slowly swirling my tongue in circles, he groaned and
tensed a little, biting his lip hard to refrain from moaning too loud. He used
his grip on my hair to move my head up and down himself, taking control, it
turned me on so much, I kept moving my tongue and hand to match, he groaned
loudly, it was clearly working. He couldn’t stand it for long before he pulled
me off and threw me back onto the bed, he climbed on top of me and pinned me
down against, gripping hold of himself and slamming inside me.
He didn’t give me any
time to adjust, thrusting hard and fast, gripping tightly to my body, his
growling sounds made me shudder, it sounded so sexy, I hadn’t pictured him
being like this when we had met at the introduction last week.
“Ughh Brendon.” I
gasped out loud my back arching up, I was scolded with a sharp tug of my hair
and a bite to my neck.
“Quiet. They’ll hear us.” He hissed in warning, gripping my hair tightly, giving
it another tug, I gasped in pleasure, the pain turning me on even more, he
definitely liked being in control, it showed a lot through the way he acted.
His pace was fast and hard, he didn’t falter for a second, using his grip on my
head to hold me still, kissing me hard on the lips, as his hips moved faster. I
couldn’t resist teasing him myself, I moved and bit hard onto his shoulder,
latching onto it roughly to see if he enjoyed it, he growled and writhed
moaning at the bite, I bit a little harder and it only spurred him on more, his
thrusts getting harder, gripping tighter to me, his fingers curled on my hips,
nails digging in slightly.
“Mmm you wanna play
that game huh?” He asked, his eyes darkening as he looked at me, he gave me a mischievous
look before latching onto my own neck, biting down hard, I squealed in pain and
pleasure, it felt so good mixed with his fast movements, he shifted his hip
slightly to hit my gspot and it drove me insane, I started shaking against him,
the bite mark was sore and a little tender but I didn’t care, all this felt too
good to focus on anything but how good he was making me feel, the way he was
thrusting giving me so much pleasure. My fingers curled on his back as I held
my moans in, nails raking his skin, it didn’t seem to bother him, it just
spurred him on more, he groaned a little.
“Brendon!” I gasped out loud, I couldn’t hold onto my moans any longer.
“I said shut up.” He growled, I was given a sharp tug to the hair and gained
his hand across my mouth, covering it as he moved fast and hard, the odd
whimper of sound came out from behind his hand, but he just revelled in it,
enjoying the way he was making me feel. I couldn’t hold on much longer, I was
already close, my body shaking against him.
“You feel so fucking good Y/N.” He growled as I felt him move slightly harder, I
was so close but I could only whimper from behind his hand, I going to cum any
second and I couldn’t even express it, with another hard thrust I went over the
edge cumming hard round him, my body shaking and tensing up, tightening around
him, he kept a firm grip on my mouth to keep me quiet, thrusting like a madman
to keep me cumming for longer. Once I started to come down from my high, he
slowed down and moaned in my ear.
He paused for a
second before grabbing me and pulling me onto his lap, leaning back onto his
bed and watching me, I felt weak but I wanted him more.
“You’re turn, ride me
baby.” He ordered, pulling me down onto his cock, using his own hands to help
me rock up and down on him, his head lulled back and he groaned, moaning my
name as I felt myself sliding up and down his length, I moaned out his name.
“Mmmm yeah I’m close
baby.” His hand came crashing down and smacked my ass making me shudder, I could
feel him throbbing, it drove me so close to the edge I didn’t think I’d be able
to hold on much longer. His hands rocked me against him, I was so close it
drove me crazy, he shifted to rub my gspot and I couldn’t handle it anymore, I started
cumming again, throwing my head back in pure pleasure, I couldn’t cope I yelled
out his name as I began to tighten around him again, it set him off and he
started cumming too.
“Fuck, baby I’m cumming. Uhhh Y/N.” He moaned loudly, biting down on my
shoulder as he came, I yelled out again, rocking my hips for as long as I could,
I gave in and stopped eventually, he pulled me closer to him holding me as we
both shook a little.
“Mmm you’re soooo good.” He whispered kissing my neck softly and pulling me
down onto the bed.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” I moaned, he cuddled up to me.
“So… you still wanna… like try this out? Me and you? Because I really like you
and we’ve got so much in common.” He asked shyly, kissing me.
“Of course, I only tried it on because… well I kinda heard you.” He flushed
bright red as he realised what I said, I snuggled into him and giggled. “It’s
ok, it was kinda hot, that’s why I got so turned on.” He laughed a little and
“So me and you?” He
asked, kissing my forehead.
“You better take me
for coffee tomorrow.” I teased, we cuddled and listened to music for the rest
of the evening, who knew, this could be the start of something good.
We believe in the wrong things. That’s what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the wrong things. You want meaning? Well, the meanings are out there. We’re just so damn good at reading them wrong.