• what she says: I'm fine
  • what she means: How does Violet Baudelaire put her hair up with a ribbon so perfectly? She just whips it out and it takes two seconds and her hair looks impeccable, is this some sort of witchcraft? When I try to put my hair up with a ribbon it takes 5 hours of crying and accidentally pulling out some of my hair and even then it looks like a complete mess how does she do it????
After we did the Hall Of Fame thing we were all getting ready to get into the elevator and we grabbed him (Dee Dee) and we were like, “he’s coming with us,” and brought him in and he was like, “where are we going?” and I’m like, “we’re going upstairs to the party,” because there was a giant party that was going on upstairs. Then the elevator got stuck so we had to crawl out of the elevator. But I would have been fine getting stuck in the elevator with Dee Dee Ramone any day of the week.
—  Billie Joe Armstrong, talking about his favourite memories of Dee Dee Ramone shortly after his death

Hi! I have a prompt for 00q: Q is on a date with someone and it’s going pretty awful. It’s one of those dates where the person is so full of themselves and just talks about them and are all around insufferable. So, Q is trapped in this date. Meanwhile, Bond is at the same place they are, and happens to over hear it and decides to more or less rescue this poor, suffering, and very cute man from his horrendous date. (Bond & Q don’t know each other). And cuteness after rescue ensues. Thank you!! – anon

Ehehe. Jen.

Q was honestly debating bashing his head against the table in a desperate escape bid.

Michael was mindnumbingly tedious. A lawyer with a perfectly good balance sheet and absolutely nothing to talk about beyond himself and his very, very small world. Q had managed to get as far as explaining that ‘Q’ was indeed his real name (legally, anyway) and that he worked in the civil service, but that was about it.

“… and got a first, of course, expected nothing less…”

“Yes, I got a starred first, top of the year,” Q dropped in, spearing the last of his bland chicken dish, “and I started uni three years early.”

Michael paused for one moment, looking utterly affronted.

“Never mind,” Q completed, and ate the chicken. Michael took one more second to be offended, and then returned back to his own university successes with gusto.


The voice came from behind him; Q twisted around curiously, Michael half-oblivious in the midst of his own story, and saw a man he didn’t even vaguely recognise. “Yes?”

“Q! I knew it was you. How are you?” the man said brightly, and leaned in, covering his whisper in Q’s ear: “Follow my lead.”

Relief struck through Q’s entire body, rippling. “Hello! I’m great, thanks, it’s been ages, hasn’t it?”

“Year or two, I think,” the man nodded, grinning.

Q noticed, very abruptly, that the man just happened to be fucking gorgeous. Blonde, blue eyes, muscular, toned, just, everything Q could ever want in a man was staring at him and saving him from the ultimate Date From Hell.

“… nnga,” Q managed.

“Q?” Michael asked from behind him, voice distinctly frosty. “Care to introduce me?”

The stranger looked over to Michael, and flashed a grin. “Bond. James Bond. Q and I, we go way back, don’t we?”

“Yep,” Q agreed, not really trusting himself to speak all that much. This was not his area of expertise. “Way back.”

“Actually, I know this is going to sound a bit bizarre,” Bond said slowly, “but I was actually planning to get in touch with you again. I’ve been… thinking. And I was stupid to let you go so easily.”

Q was fairly certain he’d started to blush up to his hairline, and then continuing across his entire scalp, crimson. “You…”

“I miss you, Q,” Bond continued, fixing aforementioned blue eyes on Q, and causing another strange whimpery sort of noise to occur. “And it breaks my heart to see you with another man, even somebody as clearly worthy as him.”

(Michael was beginning to get the idea that perhaps the date was nearing an end).


“Take me back, Q. Forgive me.”

“… I should probably be off,” Michael announced, already standing, out of his depth and extremely eager to disappear as soon as possible; the new arrival was not somebody he could hope to compete with, and Q was visibly being unspooled by him. “It was nice to get to know you a bit, Q. If you ever change your mind…”

“He’ll know where to find you,” Bond completed coolly, effectively dismissing the other man.

Michael left.

“… thank you,” Q managed, when words started to happen again. “You just…”

“Would you like to share dessert with me?” Bond asked, cutting Q off. “I’m not expecting anything, I won’t be offended – only, I could overhear most of your conversation. I’m eating alone. And you’re both extremely attractive and very intelligent.”

Another slightly garbled sound from Q, which managed to make the shape of: “yes please, that would be lovely,” although the coherence was debatable.

Bond smiled in a way that Q feel slightly dizzy, and handed him the dessert menu, before crossing to sit where Michael had a moment ago, a new and beautiful apparition.

The Perfect Family

A/N: This will have several chapters to it, it is a SpencerxReader, any feedback, or ideas will be greatly appreciated. @hanny-bananny

Originally posted by toyboxboy

You sat back in the uncomfortable bed, wearing the gown handed to you by the young nurse. Doctors appointments always felt like they dragged for hours, you battled your impatience by replying to all your emails, texting you assistant, letting your Mom know we’re alive.

Finally you heard the door open, “Good morning Miss Y/L/N” a cheerful man said walking through the door. “More like good afternoon, but yes, hello” he let out a small laugh, “I’m sorry to keep you waiting an appointment was running late.”

Someone is always running late, you hated late people. “Okay, so we’re just here for a check up, to see when we can proceed with the AI correct”

“Yes, that is correct” 

Finally after years you had caved in, there was no way you would find a suitable man to marry and build a family with all within the next year. So this is what it had come too, and you we’re okay with that. You wanted a child regardless of what role a man may or may not have in his or her life.

You had spent months contemplating this choice, but enough was enough, you knew what you wanted. You hadn’t shared this with any of your close friends, technically it hadn’t happened yet so it’s not like they needed to know everything right?

The doctor apologized once more about the delay went over the next steps to take, and set up your next appointment. You held on tightly to the folders the doctor had given you all the different “candidates” to chose from.

You sat your desk mindlessly flipping through all the different applicants, you hadn’t even realized the time when you suddenly heard the door open, “Hello, I didn’t see your assistant I just made my way in”

His voice snapped you back into reality, “Dr. Reid, yes, how can I help you?” you said closing the folder and holding on to it as you walked up to the young doctor. “Hotch thought it might be useful for you to have the updated file on the case you’ll be working on next week”

As you reached over to grab the file the folder you were so intensely holding on too slipped through your hands splashing all over the floor.  You kneeled down hoping to conceal the documents from him. Spencer picked up the last paper handing it to you, “It’s none of my business but is this from a sperm back?”

His lack of social etiquette was just as impressive as his IQ, “Yup” you said embarrassed. “Why?” he asked flat out.

“Well you see I plan on getting pregnant, soon, so I have to pick who the lucky man is, which is what these are for” you waved the folder.

“Oh, I see, well I don’t blame you if I could just have kids I’d have them” he said nodding. “You don’t have a girlfriend you can just get pregnant?” you said not expecting to answer. “I don’t, actually, I don’t have anyone I can just get pregnant”

This was officially the most awkward conversation you had with anyone, ever. “Well I will look over this file, I will email Hotch if I have any questions”

 “Yeah, cool” Spencer said l before leaving.

You spent the next couple of days looking through all the different profiles, but no one seemed to catch your eye, it was hard when all you could call them was Donor #A348971. It didn’t make it any easier when every time you looked up, you saw Spencer’s eyes on you.

The night before had been incredibly awkward, strange, just plain weird. You continued to wonder if he had told anyone about your conversation. You we’re getting ready to leave your office when suddenly Spencer opened your door, and shut it behind him.

You looked up at him surprised, this wasn’t like him “Can we talk” he said making the first move. “Sure” you said hesitantly, unsure of where this was going.

“About the other night” he said moving closer to your desk “What about it” you shot back.

“Well I was thinking about what you said, about having kids, and you asked me if I didn’t have a girl friend I could just have sex with”

“Oh no, no I think you misunderstood, I don’t want to have sex with you” you said bluntly. Suddenly all the awkwardness was making sense, was he really trying to ask you to sleep with him?

“We don’t have to have sex, and you don’t have to pick a random stranger to get you pregnant, and we could both still have a child” he paused for a second, allowing you to analyze his statement.

“What are you saying Spencer?”

“I am proposing that you choose me as your sperm donor.”

You looked down at the folder filled with strangers and back up to person standing in front of you. “I know you, you know me, I wouldn’t be an awful choice as far as my academics, PHD’s besides –“

“Yes” you said before he could continue, “I accept.”