written-blog

9/26/16

She tells me that I’ve changed. I ask her to define change. I ask her like the way wind rustles leaves, I’m in her bones at this point. She’s shaking. I drive away with the last bits of summer. I’m shaking. I’m angry. I have her attention, but she doesn’t have mine. Did I break her heart? She says, she speaks– my train of thought runs all over me. Bits of who I believe myself to be exposed to daylight– we’re unfamiliar. We’re strangers. We don’t talk like we mean it. I’m hollow, I’m empty, I’m cracked, I’m ripped. I mindlessly do things. I smile because I want people to relax, not because it’s real. I make people laugh because there’s too much crying when we’re alone and no one truly cares too much to pay any real attention. The burning ashes from my lit cigarette thins itself on my knees. I can’t seem to love people anymore. Real life interactions carve me open, but I don’t pay attention to myself. I call myself selfish, but in a way I’m just too selfless. I’ve given too much away, I don’t recognize myself in the rearview add to that… this is the longest 30 minute car ride ever. She gets out. I drive away. If I screamed, I wonder if she could hear it through our silence. She says how come you never write about me, darling, I can barely write about me. I’m a stranger to my strangers. I’m a stranger to me.

– the truth

Stop apologizing for everything you do. It’s an awful habit you have, being sorry for nothing. Why should you apologize for who you are and what you want? If others can’t accept you, then I’m the one who feels sorry for them.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #67
It’s so obvious that you’re in love with him,“ he says to me, "you don’t call him on every mistake he makes, which must be so difficult for you to do considering sarcastic comments are a natural reflex to you. You actually compliment him, something you rarely do, and you wait for him. You will wait for him to give you his attention, and you are the most impatient person I have ever met. All of that bitterness that you hold on to, you let go of it when you’re with him, you let yourself laugh and smile, and you have a good time.” A small grin spread across his face, “I don’t know what he does to you, but I know it scares you.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #131
If you’re over it, then you’re over it. I’m not going to chase you down. You made your choice and it wasn’t me. It just wasn’t working out for you, but you didn’t have to lead me on. My only regret is that I didn’t realize it sooner that you weren’t worth my time. So don’t worry about me, have a great life.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #33

friendly reminder ! just because a writer is not publishing threads on their blog does not mean they are not being productive with their character. just because you don’t see the development of a relationship does not mean it’s not being explored elsewhere. reminder not to hate on people who get attention but don’t seem to be “active” in character – you have no idea what other platforms they might be using to write. just because you aren’t aware of something does not mean it doesn’t exist. 

you’re six years old when luke makes you your first flower crown, biting his lip and blushing as he gives it to you. “i found some daisies outside and i thought it would look pretty with your hair,” he says. “it’ll be like a friendship bracelet!” you feel bad for not giving him anything back, but he says it’s okay. the flower crown falls apart two hours after you put it on, but you keep the petals in a jar because they were from luke and you love them.

you’re eleven years old when luke buys you a necklace and tells you that flower crowns are stupid, even though he kept making them until he was nine. “i wasn’t good at it anyway,” he says. “besides, don’t girls like real jewelry anyway?” sadness eats at your heart because you loved his flower crowns, but you take the necklace and smile. “this is great, lukey,” you say. “thanks.”

you’re sixteen years old when luke shows up at your doorstep with a bouquet of roses, a tiny smile on his face as he picks you up for your first date. “you look amazing,” he says. “sorry, i know flowers are cheesy, but i didn’t know what else to get you.” you tuck one of the flowers behind your ear and grin, holding his hand even though it makes you a little nervous. “they’re amazing,” you say. “thanks, lukey.”

you’re twenty two years old when luke spells out ‘marry me’ on the bed with flower petals. his eyes shine as he drops to one knee and shows you the ring he got. “i love you,” he says. “and i wanted this to be just like a movie–it took me two hours to make that readable!” you laugh and kiss him and cry a little because you love him more than anything, and you are so happy.

you’re twenty three years old when luke marries you, and he gets teared up because he can’t believe that he gets to be with you forever. you wear a flower crown to the wedding, made out of daisies just like the ones luke had found for you. “it’s like a friendship bracelet,” you told him. “best friends, forever and ever.”

The Need for Men's Rights

Institutional Discrimination

Violence Against Men

Domestic Violence

  • 50 Domestic Violence Myths 
    A cited list of debunking myths about domestic violence, generally shattering the stereotype that domestic violence is mainly with a male perpetrator and a female victim.

  • What Happens When Abused Men Call Domestic Hotlines and Shelters? 
    Answer: “Of the abused men who called domestic violence hotlines, 64% were told that they "only helped women.” In 32% of the cases, the abused men were referred to batterers’ programs. Another 25% were given a phone number to call that turned out to be a batterers’ program. A little over a quarter of them were given a reference to a local program that helped. Overall, only 8% of the men who called hotlines classified them as “very helpful,” whereas 69% found them to be “not at all helpful.” Sixteen percent said the people at the hot line “dismissed or made fun of them.”“

  • Man who ran Canada’s only shelter dedicated solely to male victims of domestic abuse dies in apparent suicide 
    Earl Silverman, a man who had been abused by his wife and refused help when he turned to support, had converted his house into a shelter dedicated to abused men and their children. When he lacked government funding, he could no longer support the shelter and was forced to shut it down. This article describes his struggles, and how he had been found dead in an apparent suicide. It bears repeating that his shelter was the only one of its kind in Canada.

  • Erin Pizzey: Founder of Battered Women’s Shelters and Victim of Feminism
    About Erin Pizzey, a prominent feminist who now speaks for A Voice for Men.

  • The Problem with Predominant Aggressor Polices
    Evidence of a case where a man can be painted as the abuser, when he is the true victim of abuse. This policy, along with negative stereotypes about men, make it difficult for male victims to be even seen as victims, yet alone receive support.

Rape

Circumcision

  • NOHARMM 
    An organization dedicated to stop routine infant male circumcision. 

  • Why is Circumcision (MGM) Okay? 
    An article that addresses the common misconceptions and attitudes toward infant male genital mutilation, or infant circumcision. As he is an infant, he lacks any say in whether or not he wants the foreskin removed. There is a double standard that female genital mutilation is strictly forbidden, but circumcision is regularly practiced, and for no good reason.

  • Circumcision deaths 
    Discusses statistics of the number of male infants who die in the USA due to routine infant male circumcision. 

  • Foreskin restoration
    A good resource on how circumcised males can restore their foreskin if they wish to.

The Draft

  • The Draft 
    A prominent example of institutional discrimination against men is conscription or being drafted into a war without the man’s explicit consent. The fact that men were (and still are) expected to die in a war they may not necessarily believe in re-enforces the idea of the disposability of men. This also examines the draft in other countries.

  • Selective Service System in the US, Military Draft in the US 
    Sources that essentially discuss how men aged 18 - 25 are legally required to signed up for selective service in the US, in case one were to argue that the draft was something of the US past.

Violence

Misconceptions

The Wage Gap

  • On the Wage Gap 
    The beginning bit is more speculation, but cites sources later on discussing how the earnings gap is due to different lifestyle choices by men and women, not women being paid less for the same work.

  • Graduating to a Pay Gap: The Earnings of Women and Men One Year after College Graduation [PDF]
    A study done by the American Association of University Women disproving the common factoid that “for every dollar a man earns, a woman earns 70 cents” (and its various re-iterations). Rather, lifestyle factors (such as men’s social obligations to be successful, women taking more maternity leaves and being less ambitious) affect how much money is overall earned by men and women. Thus, the problem is not discrimination against women, but rather women not taking higher-paying jobs.

  • No, Women Don’t Make Less Money Than Men 
    Debunking the statement, “Today, women make up about half our workforce. But they still make 77 cents for every dollar a man earns. That is wrong, and in 2014, it’s an embarrassment” made by President Obama.

  • The Almighty Wage Gap™ - A Comprehensive Analysis

Men’s Rights vs Women’s Rights

  • Men’s rights? But Men Have All the Rights! What Rights do Women Have that Men Don’t? 
    Another summary of the rights that men lack, compared to women. Discusses the draft, infant circumcision, criminal profiling against men, rape laws, and child support laws.

  • What about the men? 
    A response to the common feminist mockery of, “What about the men?”. Sources facts about laws that have been passed against men, and courtroom bias against men.

  • Internalised Misandry 
    Debunking the common idea that because the patriarchy was created by men to benefit men at the expense of women, men can never suffer under a patriarchy.

  • Double Standards 
    Examples of people acting hateful toward men, in real life and on the Internet.

  • Existence of Misandry 
    Examples of misandry found in violent crimes, news articles, Tumblr posts, and Tweets.

On the MRM

  • MRAs on Reddit 
    A search in /r/MensRights of domestic violence, custody, and the friend zone. /r/MensRights may not be perfect, perhaps not even good, but the stereotype that all they do is whine about the friend zone is false.

  • MRA =/= brony =/= misogynist =/= Fedora-wearing Redditor neckbeard 
    The idea that those who advocate for men’s rights are adult men who are creepily obsessed with My Little Pony, a misogynist, a Redditor, and fedora-wearing neckbeard is a fabricated stereotype that Tumblr loves to make fun of, which is ridiculous considering its nonexistence.
    This discusses how My Little Pony is welcoming of older fans, male or female, radical feminism and third-wave feminism, and the history of the use of a fedora.

Misc

  • Objectifixation 
    Many people, particularly feminists, are concerned with the issue of objectification of women, but fail to mention that men are also objectified and misrepresented in the media.

  • Toxic Masculinity 
    The idea of “toxic masculinity” by feminists is unfair toward men, because it blames men for their problems when many of their problems are not at the fault of masculinity.

  • Elliot Rodger Master Post
    Clearing up the misconceptions surround the Santa Barbara shooting and how the killer did not kill because he was an MRA.

  • Viagra covered by health insurance?
    Clearing up a misconception that viagra is covered by health insurance but birth control is not.

  • Facts About Divorce
    Addressing and debunking “facts” about divorce and child custody laws.
  • She smacked my butt.
    Someone recalls an instance of sexual harassment that was played off as a joke because it was a female perpatrator and male victim.

if you don’t live in a swing state and live where it doesn’t really matter what you vote (ex new york, california, texas, kentucky) then you should consider voting green party (Jill Stein). I don’t think she has a chance but it’s important to get her ideas at least some recognition. I saw her press conference last week in Albany (in person) and her main issues are taxing wall street to make college cheaper and improve public education, police brutality and the amount of black people wrongly in jail due to the war on drugs, and the drought in California (among other environmental issues that I don’t really understand). if you’re only voting hillary because you want a female president, consider Jill Stein, who described her campaign to me as one for the people by the people, not corporations.

I know you don’t like yourself, but I just can’t understand why that is because you are one of the most amazing people that I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. I’ve never met anyone as strong as you. You’ve been through some rough times, but even when I thought you were going to break down, you would look at me and say, “I’m not okay right now, but I’m going to be.” You never wanted to give up, not even for one second. Even if you felt like it was impossible to go on, you still stood up and kept going. I don’t know what it is about you, but you will always fight. You never let anything take your happiness permanently. It’s like there is the fire in you that will never stop burning. You have something about you that nobody else has, I wish I had it.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #42
this Destiel shipper supports Supernatural women

hate against Anne-Marie just because she’s a love interest, or Hannah because she’s rumored to be a love interest, will lead me to unfollow you

we’ve lost too many great female characters because of fandom hate

Liberal choice “eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man” feminism manipulates women into doing the same things patriarchy would normally have them do, just this time with “empowerment”. The illusion of choice brainwashes women into feeling secure with typical feminine behavior.

“Wear makeup to look good for yourself, not because men want you to.” The result is the same. Her “feminist” appearance looks identical to conforming women. Not that I fault conforming women or those that have fallen into liberal feminism’s trap—conforming is safety, but the manipulative ideology of liberal feminism simply makes patriarchy more palatable.

Last time I expressed this view, a bunch of liberal feminists missed the point. “You aren’t supporting women’s choices!”—that’s not what I’m saying. Women can do what they like. My point is: labeling mundane actions, objects and media (especially those that don’t attack gender roles) as feminist is entirely unproductive and obnoxiously liberal.

Attrape-moi par la taille, agrippe-toi à moi de toutes tes forces. J'en ai terriblement besoin, j'en ai terriblement envie.
—  C.