Dreams, goals, and what lies ahead—words I’m sure everyone knows. It’s ironic how such simple terms make up a phrase that could compel us to walk along different paths in order to find what we’re looking for. I, for one, have been searching all my life. And in my seventeen-almost-eighteen years of existence, I’ve reached several destinations only to find out that each one is just another crossroad, another question on which path to take next.
Sometimes, I get so tired that I give myself the illusion that I don’t have to make a decision now. I could just sit here, relax, enjoy, and let the future me decide for herself. Yet, there are those moments when I keep on walking, running even, just to keep moving forward. I don’t even know where I’m going. All I know is that it’s either I move along, or get left behind.
It’s during those times when I stop treading on that I become vulnerable. I lose track of what I’m looking for in the first place and simply live for the day, not knowing what today is for tomorrow. Every day becomes a routine. The lust for life fades, and I’m left with the idea of a tiresome living. Worse, depression kicks in and all sorts of ideas about the dullness of life gets into my head.
Then from out of nowhere, the universe presents me with a possibility, a goal, a wonderful dream. Suddenly, adrenaline kicks in and I’m more than ready to take on the world once more. The sky is blue again, and tomorrow starts sounding like a beautiful melody. My arms reach out to the future, like the branches on that tree above. Hoping to get to where I want to be.
I can’t wait for my wedding day. I can’t wait to stand at the end of the aisle, behind closed doors. I can’t wait until those doors open and I get to look at your face. I can’t wait until I see your face, after your eyes see me in my wedding dress for the first time. I can’t wait until I am overwhelmed with emotions and cling onto my father’s arm for support. I can’t wait to take those last steps as your fiancee. I can’t wait to take your hand. I can’t wait to say my vows and pledge my love to you in front of all of our friends and family. I can’t wait until the suspense builds up to the point I feel as if I am about to burst. I can’t wait until we say ‘I do’. I can’t wait until we kiss. I can’t wait to turn to face our family. I can’t wait to be your wife.