I hate that it was so easy for you to leave me. I hate thinking about you waking up one day and realizing I wasn’t what you wanted anymore. I hate that I meant nothing to you, that every raw moment we shared with each other could have been fake. Its all just too overwhelming.
Excerpt from a book I will never write #1213 // it’s all just too overwhelming, i hate myself for trusting you, for putting so much time and effort while i should have been protecting myself // excerptsofstories
requested: can you also do imagine where y/n is married to shawn and she’s pregnant and she’s on tour with him and before every concert she goes out to fans to give them some tickets 😊 and it’s cute and fluffy ☺ thanks, love you 💖
okay i changed this one just a little bit, it’s not that much but she’s just not on tour with him
NOT LYING I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS NEEDS TO REQUEST MORE OFTEN BC I LOVE UR IDEAS TY OKAY CARRY ON WITH READING
“guys where’s y/n?” the voice of your probably worried husband could be heard from his dressing room even though he was on the stage doing soundcheck for the show later on. he got no response from his team around him, causing him to worry more. “you left her alone? you guys can’t do that she’s 8 months pregnant!”
you chuckled, knowing he was going to send someone to the dressing room so you could sit in the audience and watch him or something. just so he can see you at all times. ever since you found out you were pregnant, shawn has been almost extra protective. you were surprised you were even allowed at tonight’s show. when you were in the early stages of your pregnancy, you were still allowed to tour with him and go to his shows but once you reached the 6 month mark, you were banned. you had managed to convince him to let you come tonight since it was a show in your hometown, but after a few weeks and a few deals made, he finally let you come. of course, he tried his best to make sure you were never alone just in case you went into labour early which was definitely a possibility. another reason he let you come to tonight’s show was because his family was also going to be attending, and you could stay with them while he was
“somebody go find-” shawn yelled, walking into his dressing room. “oh you’re here. okay never mind everyone i found her!” he came over to your spot on the leather couch, “how are you two?”
“i’m good,” you said, rubbing your giant belly. “she’s good too. she loves the music, she’s been dancing around in there all day.”
“that’s my girl.” shawn smiled, changing into a black short sleeved dress shirt for his q&a that started in about 45 minutes. “she’s gonna be a dancer one day.”
“you mismatched like all the buttons shawn.” you laughed,
nothing that all the buttons he just did were all in the wrong places. “how do you even do that?” slowly, you managed to get up from the couch to help him redo the buttons. you got as close as your stomach would allow to undo all the buttons as shawn just smirked while watching you intently.
“i’m having some sort of déjà vu,” he said. “last time you did this, that happened.” he pointed to your baby bump.
you rolled your eyes, swatting the side of his arm then quickly doing up the buttons. “you’re an idiot.”
“hey,” he raised his hands up in defence. “i’m just saying the truth.”
“all fixed,” you announced, lighting patting his chest. “what would you do without me?”
he shrugged, taking some food from the table that was set up in every one of his dressing rooms. “i wouldn’t be living y/n, my fans would make fun of me too much for not knowing how to do buttons.”
you laughed, taking a peek out the window to see a giant crowd of fans in the distance. you remembered going out into those crowds when you toured with shawn, you had a tradition of giving away tickets to a few fans who had none. of course, you kept it a secret because you didn’t want people to get greedy but you missed doing that.
“hey shawn?” you called, closing the curtains so fans couldn’t look in. you stood in front of his spot on the couch, wrapping your arms around his neck. he looked up at you, his hands grabbing your sides. “did i ever tell you how insanely attractive you are?” you smiled. you knew that if you wanted him to agree, you would have to do some kissing up.
“you want something don’t you?” he narrowed his eyes, not being able to keep a straight face.
“you don’t happen to have any extra tickets lying around do you?”
“y/n,” he sighed. “you can’t go out in that crowd. it’s too dangerous for you and the baby.”
“shawn i used to give away tickets all the time before! please, i’ll be fine i promise.” you begged. you wanted nothing more than to get some fresh air. after being in this stuffy dressing room all day, you were in desperate need.
“y/n, you could go into labour at anytime now! it’s way to dangerous and if i let you go out there and something happens i will never forgive myself.”
“nothing is going to happen shawn, i’ll be careful i promise. i really need some fresh air, i feel like i’m suffocating in here. if you’re really that scared, come with me.”
“if i come with you we’ll for sure get mobbed. i’ll get you some extra tickets.” he sighed, finally giving in because he knows you wouldn’t have stopped until he did. “but, you’re going out with security standing close by and i’m going to be watching. if i see anything that doesn’t look normal, you need to come in.”
you nodded, taking the tickets he handed you. some people would think shawn was being too demanding and overprotective but you know he’s just looking out for you and the baby.
“i’m not trying to be harsh baby,” he said, kissing your forehead. “i just want you to be safe and protected at all times. if anything were to happen at one of these shows i would never be able to live with myself.”
“i understand shawn, trust me. but i’m going to be okay out there, especially with everyone watching my every move. nothing is going to happen.”
“you could go into labour at anytime y/n, your due date isn’t that far away.” he said, cupping the side of your face with his spare hand.
you were due on april 21st and today’s date was april 2nd, meaning you were almost full term and the baby could come at any time but she would be early. you had the slightest feeling she would be late though, motherly instincts i guess.
“babies aren’t always born early shawn. she could come when she’s supposed to come.”
“y/n,” he chuckled. “how early were
“5 weeks early,” you mumbled. “okay i see your point but still, i’m going to be fine you can watch from the window or something.”
he reluctantly handed you one more set of tickets and you were off. “be safe out there!” he called.
you met a security guard at one of the entrances of the arena who allowed you to leave, and another one followed you out. you were happy that he wasn’t right behind you, you needed some space. as soon as the door opened you were relieved that nobody was really paying attention to you. everyone was mostly occupied with their phones or talking to their friends as they waited to get into the arena.
as you walked around for a bit you heard a few mutters of “is that y/n?” or “guys look, it’s y/n.” but thankfully the crowd was calm and hadn’t erupted into screams yet.
you began to feel a large amount of pressure on your stomach which you were used to, but never this intense. you shrugged it off thinking it was just braxton hicks.
you noticed a young girl, probably about 6, and another older teenage girl who looked about 16, and their mom standing further away from the crowd. the two girls were wearing t-shirts with your husband’s face on it, but you had never seen those shirts before. they must not have been official merch shirts. the older girl smiled at you, and you decided to go over and talk to them for a bit.
“hi,” you smiled as you approached them.
“oh wow, hi y/n!” the older girl smiled. “would it be okay if we took a picture?”
you nodded, smiling for a picture with the girl and asking for her name. “i’m alessia, and this is alex.” she said, pointing to her little sister who was standing behind her mom.
“aless, who is this?” her mom stepped in. obviously noticing you were very pregnant, her eyes flickered to your ring finger, obviously looking to see if you were married.
“mom, this is y/n. she’s shawn’s wife, you know that already.” alessia stated like she should already know.
the girls’ mom asked you a few questions about your pregnancy which you were happy to answer. eventually the younger girl came from behind her mothers legs and asked for a picture.
“so,” you started. “are you guys coming to watch the show?”
obviously they just thought you were making casual conversation, but you knew what you were doing.
“no,” alessia sighed. “i wish.”
“i tired my hardest to get them tickets but they were so expensive and money is tight right now.” their mom said. “but they wanted to come stand outside for a bit just incase shawn came outside.”
you sighed, you suggest shawn come outside but you understood why he couldn’t.
“well,” you smiled. “i happen to have some extra tickets if you three would like?”
the two girls nodded eagerly, looking at their mother for permission.
“we could ask you to do this,” she said, shaking her head.
“please,” you handed her three front row tickets. “it’s my gift. take them.” she took the tickets, all three of them thanking you many times.
another sharp pain ran through your body although this time it was more noticeable.
“are you okay?” alessia asked, putting her hand on your arm.
“yeah,” you nodded. “i’m okay. she’s just kicking.” you lied. “anyways, i should probably get going but it was nice meeting you guys. have fun later!”
you met a few more fans, giving them tickets and making them promise they wouldn’t say a word about it. you forgot to tell the first family not to say anything, you really hoped they wouldn’t. as for the pains, they didn’t fade away. in fact, they were getting more intense but you didn’t want to go inside just yet. you were sure everything was fine. the fact that you were in pain was more noticeable now, almost everyone was asking if you were okay. you were sure shawn knew something was going on because at one point even your security guard asked if everything was okay.
you handed the last group of fans some tickets as you felt the sharpest pain followed by a trickle of water going down your leg.
“shit,” you mumbled, noticing that your dress was now soaked with water and there was a small puddle under you. the girls noticed what happened and were definitely all recording you but you didn’t care at this point. you were in too much pain to walk back into the arena and find shawn. you noticed a bunch of people from shawn’s team walking out of the main entrance, followed by your husband. he knew exactly where you were standing so he was at your side immediately. the rest of the team followed close behind, andrew was on the phone with who you hoped was 911 for an ambulance.
“y/n,” shawn said. putting his arm around your shoulder and his other hand on your stomach. “is everything okay?”
“yeah,” you breathed. you assumed you were having a contraction, which would explain the pains you’ve been having all day. “i’m in labour though.”
“what?” shawn practically yelled.
“my water broke,” you motioned to the puddle of water a few feet away. you managed to move a few feet in the time it took for shawn to find you.
“shawn why would i joke about this?”
you felt another contraction hit, while shawn yelled at someone to call an ambulance even though it was already on the way. you could hear the sirens in the distance already.
“holy shit y/n this is really happening!” he exclaimed, kissing the side of your head.
“yeah, 3 weeks early.”
the ambulance pulled up next
to you after a few more
minutes. they helped you onto the gurney and shawn followed behind them.
“let’s go have a baby,” he said as the nurses closed the ambulance doors. “3 weeks early.”
1: Ignore every thought of them until you have convinced yourself that they were never real and any feelings you had were misplaced. Remind yourself they were never yours to begin with, therefore the feelings you have are invalid so you can justify ignoring all thoughts of them.
2: Be fucking selfish as hell. Spoil yourself, who gives a shit. Go out and buy a shirt you never thought you could wear and wear it. Don’t feel bad about leaning on people when you need help.
3: Don’t reminisce on what could have been, they don’t deserve a second thought. You might think romanticizing your feelings are harmless daydreams but they will bite you in the ass and leave you only wanting them more. Day dream about the steamy waffles you will buy for yourself later.
4: Remind yourself you are a strong person, like them, but only better.
5: Busy yourself with other things and people. Come home at 5 a.m. wasted, remind yourself that there are other people willing to give you the fucking time of day. Take up yoga, get a hobby, invest your time in that and in the process prove you can commit to things and accomplish great tasks.
6: Protect yourself, never let your heart find itself in this situation again. Think back and try and pinpoint all the red flags you noticed, then try and apply that knowledge to future relationships. But don’t spend too much time analyzing where things went wrong.
7: Remind yourself of the person you were before they came into your life. You have not changed, they have not destroyed you. Put effort into returning back into that person.
8: The most important part is to keep telling yourself that you are wanted. Do not forget that you will get through this; this is temporary just like the short happiness you shared with them. Just because they do not want you does not mean you are unloveable or unfit for relationships.
Excerpt from a book I will never write #1202 // how to get over someone who was never yours // excerptsofstories
“We need to talk, Y/N.” he said, folding his arms over his chest. His expression was dark, he was furious. You’ve never seen him this angry before and you weren’t sure what he was capable of when he’s angry.
You knew it was a mistake to lie about the eviction in the first place, he was bound to find out somehow, but this wasn’t how you wanted it to happen. Eventually you were going to tell him what was going on in your life, but not until you knew you could trust him 100% and that he wasn’t going to leave you for something like this.
Ever since what happened with Ava’s father you’ve gained some real trust issues, and unfortunately they weren’t going to go away because he was your soulmate.
“What about Ava?” you asked, trying to distract him. Hopefully he’ll realise it’s not the best idea to leave a 4 year old unattended in a room for very long and decide to put this dreaded conversation on hold.
“She said she wanted to take a nap and I left the door open a crack so we can hear in case anything goes wrong.” he said, motioning to the door that was open just a tiny bit, he wedged a shoe in between the door so it wouldn’t close. “Now, would you like to explain yourself?”
It was movie night, their first since the war. The pack had agreed that it would be at Liam’s house since his parents were out of town for the weekend and it was known that his house always had the best snacks. What Scott and the rest continued to be completely oblivious of was the fact that it was Theo who was on snack duty in the Dunbar-Geyer household, so they had him to thank for all the delicious food there.
Theo was sat in the middle of Liam’s bed where he had left him when the first of the pack had arrived. Liam had glanced back at him expectingly as he reached for his bedroom door handle, but Theo had shaken his head and said he would be down in a minute. The truth was, he still didn’t know how welcome he would be among the pack after everything he had done. Liam had tried and tried again to get him to understand that he was forgiven and would be accepted now because he has proven himself to be a good person, but it was undeniably hard to believe.
this is the l o n g e s t thing i’ve ever written also it’s literally a fluff extravaganza so you’re welcome. thanks to @kidinlovewithakid for helping me on this (it would actually suck ass if she didn’t) so enjoy folks!
feedback is very much appreciated! <3
“Y/n,” you felt someone shake your body in attempt to wake you up. You groaned and turned yourself around so you were facing the opposite side of your warm bed. “Y/n you need to get up, you’re getting married today!” the voice you now identified as Mel, your best friend and maid of honour, kept vigorously shaking you until you finally sat up. You figured they must have let themselves in earlier since you had given Mel a key to the house for emergencies.
“Guys it’s so early please let me sleep,” you mumbled, wrapping yourself up in your warm comforter again in hopes they’ll give you just 5 more minutes. It may be your wedding day, but you were still beyond tired from last night’s rehearsal dinner and you were really starting to wish you and Shawn hadn’t stayed up for 4 hours after you got home. Neither of you had been able to sleep due to nerves and excitement so you decided to stay up and watch movies until you were tired.
“Where’s Shawn?” you mumbled, noticing that the other side of the bed was already empty. You were a little disappointed that he woke up before you, even though you aren’t supposed to see each other until the ceremony you wanted to sneak in one last moment together before the chaos started.
“He left, now get up so you can go marry my brother!” Aaliyah exclaimed, jumping onto the bed and pulling the covers off you, exposing you to the cold morning air that was coming in from the window that Mel must have opened. You sat cross legged on your bed and took a look at your bridesmaids and the two mothers standing around you waiting for you to get out of the bed so you could finally go to the outdoor field where the ceremony was taking place. You let out a shaky breath, the realization that you were actually getting married later finally sinking in.
You’re constantly on my mind. Thoughts and memories of you are zipping through my subconscious, interrupting the tranquility that has taken me so long to find.
Excerpt from a book I will never write #1212 // it feels like my brain is being submerged in pop-rocks and i am unable to find a calm moment while you are living your life unburdened by any thoughts of me // excerptsofstories