writing prose

I’ve never love someone like this before.” he said. “Someone who doesn’t even need to tell me to catch the stars, because if I could, I would do that—voluntarily for her. This is by far the worst but the best feeling I’ve ever had. I’ve felt as if I’m willing to do anything just to capture your attention, that even if it’s impossible, I will still try to make it possible. You see, I sounded like a superhero, or maybe no. Maybe I sounded more like someone who has a superpower. And yes, I care too much, I feel too much. But loving you seemed never enough because I need to prove it to you. I am not even asking for your permission, though I respect you too much that I will listen and understand everything you’ll say. I’ll catch the stars, follow the moon and give you every kind of flower in this world if that’s what you wanted. But please, don’t push me away. Because I’m scared to be treated like nothing. I’m afraid to feel that I’m not worth it. That I don’t deserve a single glance and smile from you. I don’t know if I can take another heartache. I don’t know if I can still move on, because I’m certain that this is real. That I’m not fooling with myself for what I feel. I’m seriously in love. And I can’t hide it any longer. That’s the reason why—with all the courage inside me—I’m going to say and show how much I love you.
—  ma.c.a // Tell me that there’s a chance for us

i have fallen out of love with my art, or else she has fallen out of love with me. how pretty she was outside, when she touched every part of me. how selfish i was to kiss her, to take her in. i should have enjoyed her slowly. there had been so much hiding between her shoulder blades and i devoured her in wolfbites. or else i was never hers. i know this, logically. she loves others so easily. but i always feel special when she honors me. if she honors me, and doesn’t just fuck me. what i’m saying is nothing i write is beautiful and i can’t stop thinking you didn’t mean it when you kissed me. what i’m saying is that you’re beautiful and now my writing looks ugly. what i’m saying is that i’m worried anything i write won’t be good enough to look at. the ink is gone. don’t come for me.

my hand itches
to feel her skin beneath my fingertips
her cheeks flush pink
as the lips i long to kiss
i want to reach out
and brush a strand of her hair behind her ear
i want to look into her eyes
and see everything i’ve never seen before
our shoulders brush as we walk together
her hand grazes back as she walks by
our fingers touch when i go to give her something
each and every time
it feels as though there is lightning inside of me
electricity spreads through my veins
and lights up in my chest
each and every time
we both linger for a second too long
i try not to think about it
but all i can do is think about it
all i can do is think about her
she is so
  it is almost as if
she isn’t real
how can something so ethereal
and precious
and soft
exist in a world so harsh and ugly?
and how did i
get so lucky
to exist in the same world as she?

she is a princess
and i, a dragon
my only hope
is that i don’t scare her away from me
—  cafegirlfeelings said: Can you write a poem about falling in love with a girl for the first time? 
(cc, 2017)
When I had you it didn’t feel like anything was ever wrong, even when it was. Every other part of my life could have been falling apart but when I was with you, it still felt like everything was okay. You allowed me to ignore the fact that I hated my job because knowing I got to come home to you got me through the work day. And I thought this was a blessing but it was actually just keeping me from making the changes in my life that I needed to make. I didn’t try to make a life I’d be happy with on my own because you were the best part of my life and I thought I’d always have you. But this was bad because you were my strongest painkiller, you didn’t actually make everything better, you just made it feel like it was.
empty conversations
“how are you?” “fine”
“how was your day?” “fine”
you never say “i love you”
but i don’t say it either
your smile never meets your eyes
my heart doesn’t skip a beat when you hold me
we’re lying next to each other but it feels like we’re miles apart
you’re here but you’re not
i’m with you but i’m not
what’s going on, my dear?
what’s happening to us?
maybe we shouldn’t even be an us
—  Anonymous said: could you jot down thoughts on being in an relationship with no strong emotional connection
(cc, 2017)
we have been loving roses till the thorns made us bleed. they say beautiful things are too often broken and baby the hurt came since we first said hello. tears run more when the weather changes faster than your feelings. i miss you more by the ocean. when the waves whisper to me i am not alone but i feel so. the world is quiet and my mind loud. the sun is falling down and i’m falling apart. the dreams you see are new ways of me telling i love you one more time, i miss you one more time, i want you one more time. i guess we are so good of making apologies out of promises. we are so good of making hate out of love. we are so good at destroying each other. i miss you more by the ocean. the waves whisper ‘you’ll get better’
—  k.m
From Broken to You

I have enough of a hard time trusting,
Please be careful, if coming through.
Take this as a signpost before entering,
Watch your step, though it’s nothing new.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this beforehand,
Lies are told, heart’s been broken.
I know you’ll say you understand,
I’ve heard it all, words once spoken.

This is not new to me at all,
For protection, I’ve hid from the light.
But your warmth has caused me to fall,
No longer will I try to fight.

Your name, your voice, the words you write,
Have broken down this wall once more.
What should I do if this feels so right?
Risk my heart and soul down to the core?

What if I’m not good enough?
I won’t be able to live with myself.
You deserve more than my love,
What else can one give of oneself?

So I will give you all that I am,
Every morning and throughout the day.
Loyalty, commitment, honesty, all I can,
My heart is yours at your feet it’ll lay.

I don’t ask for much in return,
Don’t hold back nor be afraid.
In our past we’ve both been hurt,
We’re all humans who make mistake.

Look me in the eyes, call me on the phone,
Say you’ll never break me down.
No longer feel like you’re alone,
Nor turn to others now that I’m around.

I don’t know what else there is that I can say,
You’ve heard it all, but not from me.
Open yourself completely and let me stay,
It’s time that you and I find what we need.

I’m there with you, you’re here, I know,
I can feel you, though miles away.
Tonight I’ll confess and profess to behold,
All that you are, please say you’ll stay.

-H. Murcia 10:27PM 3/25/2017