writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep

Let it here be recorded… Nathaniel Northwest, famous in his native Gravity Falls for standing in the park and hitting himself with a large boating oar until he blacked out, was chosen to become the patsy mayor of Gravity Falls. Northwest spoke in a series of grunts and screams and often yelled his trademark phrase: “I am going to eat this entire oak tree because I am a powerful wizard!”

The fabled founder of Gravity falls was, in fact, a fraud. His last moments on Earth were spent choking on a giant piece of bark, attempting to live out his beautiful dream. He was hated by everyone that knew him. He will not be missed.

Other hidden historical truths include:

Thomas Jefferson was actually just two kids in an overcoat standing on each other’s shoulders. The current and forever President of the United States is actually Santa Claus. Under the reign of Mr. Claus, America is not a democracy, but a jollyocracy. The statues in Mount Rushmore are actually gigantic presidential -faced robots that will be called into action when America needs them the most. An enormous, evil, time-devouring baby from another dimension is frozen in an Antarctic glacier. Fortunately glaciers never melt so we should be fine. Writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep. If you recite the pledge of Allegiance backwards, you’ll gain secret wizard powers! (This one is true kids! Try it at home!)

This is my favorite Gravity falls episode

I was watching the Gravity Falls episode “Irrational Treasure” and this part came up. Now, I’ve seen this episode before but knowing how the show works, I decided to pause it and read the full page of “The Northwest Cover-Up”. I was not disappointed.

I took the liberty of typing up the whole page, which reads as follows:

Let it be here recorded…Nathaniel Northwest, famous in his native Gravity Falls for standing in the park and hitting himself with a large boating oar until he blacked out, was chosen to become the patsy mayor of Gravity Falls. Northwest spoke in a series of grunts and screams and often yelled his trademark phrase: “I’m going to eat this entire oak tree because I am a powerful wizard!”

The fabled founder of Gravity Falls was, in fact, a fraud. His last moments on Earth were spent choking on a giant piece of bark, attempting to live out his beautiful dream. He was hated by everyone that knew him. He will not be missed.

Other hidden historical truths include:

Thomas Jefferson was actually just two kids in an overcoat standing on each other's shoulders. The current and forever President of the United States is actually Santa Claus. Under the reign of Mr. Claus, America is not a democracy, but a jollyocracy. The statues in Mount Rushmore are actually gigantic presidential-faced robots that will be called into action when America needs them the most. An enormous, evil, time-devouring baby from another dimension is frozen in an Antarctic glacier. Fortunately glaciers never melt, so we should be fine. Writing jokes for cartoons in more important than sleep. If you recite the pledge of allegiance backwards, you’ll gain secret wizard powers! (This one is true kids! Try it at home!)

So I recently got my sister into Gravity Falls and I just watched Irrational-Treasure with her today. For fun, we paused the episode to read some of the top secret stuff about the Northwest cover up. I’m not sure if anyone posted this yet (I’m kinda new to the fandom myself), but it’s pretty special.

LISTEN UP

Gather around, kids, today we’re going to talk about one of the greatest things about one of the greatest shows of all time.

Mmhm, the background gags in Gravity Falls.

Now I don’t know if these are thought up by the show writers or if this is the artists being cheeky, but

Look at that. This shot is here for like two seconds. There is no need whatsoever to make the background interesting. BUT GUESS WHAT

Do you see those games? Virtual Owl Trowel. LIVE AVOIDER

LOOK AT THE LITTLE GUY RUNNING FROM LOVE LOOK

I SEE YOU HOT TOPIC YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME

I’m sorry, did someone order a food cart named after the story strategy that said food cart exists for? a MEET CUTE AUGH

I AM SO DONE RIGHT NOW

And there’s so much more, guys. I wouldn’t be able to fit it all in here.

Oh, but the kicker? THIS BAD BOY RIGHT HERE

I don’t know if the quality is going to allow you to read the whole thing, but near the end of this masterpiece, it actually says “Writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep” and if you don’t think the writers and artists for this show are the BEES KNEES WEARING THE CAT’S PAJAMAS, then you, my friend, are some kind of living ventriloquist dummy. 

Other hidden historical truths include: 

Thomas Jefferson was actually just two kids in an overcoat standing on each others shoulders. The current and forever president of the united states is actually Santa Claus. Under the reign of Mr. Claus, America is not a democracy, but a s jollyocracy. The Statues in Mount Rushmore are actually gigantic presidential-faced robots that will be called into action when America needs them most. An enormous, evil, time-devouring baby from another dimension is frozen in an Antarctic glacier. Fortunately, glaciers never melt, so we should be fine. Writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep. If you recite the pledge of allegiance backwards, you’ll gain secret wizard powers! (This one is true, kids! Try it at home!)