writing about lists

What I believe

I feel like I’ve been too negative lately. And I think there’s a shortage of liberals clearly saying what they want and believe.

So here’s my manifesto, more or less. The rules for liberalism, as I practice it.

1. The Truth, Above All

If the facts tell you things you don’t want to hear, accept them. If it turns out that liberalism doesn’t work, stop being a liberal.

The truth is the biggest advantage you can ever have in politics over the long term. So don’t lie to yourself or to anyone else.

If you ever find yourself lying for your cause, denying scientific realities or trying to deceive people into supporting you, you’re probably on the wrong side.

2. The Best For Everyone

Every person matters. Don’t write anyone off as morally irrelevant. Foreigners, misfits, vagrants, criminals, political enemies…if you can make their lives better, do so.

This does not mean giving everyone everything they want. Many people want things that will hurt other people. Liberalism demands that you remember that those other people are people, and deserve your protection from the people who want to hurt them.

Remember, we’re all stuck on this world together. 

3. Follow Your Own Rules

Human rights aren’t just for your friends. Laws aren’t just for your enemies.

Liberalism is here to let people of every religion and ideology live together. It’s here to reconcile nearly irreconcilable differences. For this to work at all, you need to obey your own rules even when they’re inconvenient.

Your enemies won’t always do the same for you in return, so make sure your rules aren’t crippling. But follow them. Every person who respects a rule strengthens it.

If you lose an election, and you have at your disposal enough power to overturn the result by force…don’t. Doing so will almost certainly make things worse.

4. Be Pragmatic

Compromises are not to be feared. They’re the way of the world.

Think capitalism is evil? Think taxation is theft? Fair enough. Liberals don’t have to be capitalist or statist. But they do have to respect the limitations of reality.

You do not have the strength to destroy everyone who disagrees with you. You need to be willing to negotiate with your enemies. Sometimes a mutually-acceptable compromise is impossible, sometimes violence is necessary, but always try for a nonviolent solution.

If you have radical ideas, by all means push for them. But don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good, and be very reluctant to kill people. Remember that the future is uncertain, and nothing ever works smoothly on a grand scale.

5. When In Doubt, Be Kind

We all make mistakes. But if you’re humble, considerate, and slow to anger, you’ll screw up less and hurt people less when you do.

Don’t be a doormat. But do be kind, even to your enemies. Give the benefit of the doubt, don’t condemn people casually, and don’t indulge in cruelty.

Master Fic Post

Friends, it was brought to my attention that I should make a master-list of everything I’ve written so far.  So here it is, in all of its glory in no particular order.  And, of course, I’m always writing something so it’ll forever be getting longer. Peace out, girl scouts. 

Ravenous -  Fresh off a particularly brutal case, Mulder tries to finally make good on his promise to take Scully on a nice trip to the forest, only to stumble onto evidence that there may be more to a local urban legend than just rumor and superstition.

Manual Labor -  It’s Season 7 smut. That’s it.

The Stability of Pain -  One night, Scully deals with the grief over losing Emily and what could have been.

Missing Scene from The Truth -  This is my attempt to fill in one of the blanks for The Truth.

The Porch Swing -  The happenings on and around a porch swing at the unremarkable house.

The Art of Grieving -  Scully processes the death of her mother. Post Revival.

Not Today -  Tempers flare between Mulder and Scully when it comes to doing the paperwork.

8 Days, 5 Hours, 42 Minutes, and 39 Seconds -  He hated to admit it, but it took over a week for it to really sink in that she was gone. 8 days, 5 hours, 42 minutes, and 35 seconds to be exact. 36 seconds. 37.  Pre Revival

Cancer Arc Part 1: Mint Chocolate Chip -  Sometimes 96 tennis balls on the ocean floor is just 96 tennis balls on the ocean floor. 

Cancer Arc Part 2: Love Me Tender - Fears, wants, and desperately needs. 

Drabble from fic prompts or challenges:

How Long Have You Been Standing There? 

You Make Me Feel Like I’m Not Good Enough.

I Had To See You Again.

Wanna Bet?

Wanna Dance?

Like a Ghost Through the Fog

That Which Cannot Be Undone

William’s Space Onesie

Requests List

All requested writing (mostly blurb length) listed here! Also found under the “request: filled” tag. * demarcates smut.

001. Camping

002. Listen to Me

005. Love Him More

007. Promise Forever

009. Camping in the Rain*

010. Not Today

011. Too Much*

012. Silence*

013. Missing Kisses

015. Hot and Cold*

016. KISS for Styles*

017. The Last One

018. Reward

019. Not Fake*

020. You Wanker

022. Public (and Private) Displays of Affection

023. Time and Pride

024.Do You One Better

025. The Interview

026. Bottled Dressing

027. Call or….

028. Work Life and Home Life

029. Protect

030. Worth It

031. Kicks

032. Fight Me*

033. Under Their Noses

034. Mumma

035. Camping Indoors*

036. Hair or No Hair

037. Help*

038. Mother’s Day

039. Mrs. Styles*

040. A Harry Girl

041. Man in Uniform*

042. You’re Pregnant, Love*

043. He’s a Dead Man*

044. Tell Me, Darling*

045. Make You Feel Better*

046. Important or Summat*

047. A Few Extras

049. Morning Sickness

050. My Girl, My Boy 

051. Safety in His Embrace

052.Soft Kisses

053. Know You*

054. Or Summat*

056. Primal*

057. Safe Word

058. Proud or Summat*

059. Middle of the Night

060. Lions and Vikings and Bears – Oh My!

063. Please Don’t Cry

064. Jet Plane*

065. The Only One

066. Be Right Here

It’s About Balance Sequence Requests

003. More About Jealousy*

004. More About Waiting*

006. More About Trouble

008. More About Mouths*

014. More About Timing*

021. More About Saying Hello*

More About Anniversaries - It’s About Balance One Shot*

061. More About Balance*

062. More About Boyfriends

Requests that spun into a lot more…. Oops.

Thirty Minutes and a Lemon Curd*

Three Days and a Lemon Curd* - Thirty Minutes and a Lemon Curd Part 002

Lemon Curds Anytime - Thirty Minutes and a Lemon Curd Part 003*

048. Just Between Us

055. Leather and Cars*

Half request, half me being a weak ass

Still Not Fake*

1. Write down everything he said that made your heart beat faster. Every word that found a home in your soul and kept you warm on nights when you were too cold to breathe.

2. Take your time. Write as neat as you can. Elegant cursive, bubble letters, calligraphy. Make the penmanship as beautiful as the words it is saying.

3. Read it over and over and over again. Feel the way you felt when he first said it to you. Forget how much it hurts now.

4. Light it on fire in the bathroom sink. As the edges curl and the letters melt, forget it all. It’s not a part of your life anymore and you don’t need to keep it. It’s gone.

5. Now write down everything he said to you that made you blush a deep red. Everything he said to you that made your thighs tremble and your breath shaky.

6. Make the penmanship sloppy, like the way he would’ve kissed you. Write it down quick and messy and don’t worry about how the things you are writing would make a priest impure. Write it all anyway.

7. Read it. Just once. Let yourself imagine what you could’ve been one more time.

8. Then light it on fire too. Forget it too.

9. Now write down what he said to you that hurts. Write down the words he threw at you as he left, write down the excuses he made, write down the words he stabbed into your chest. Write down what he said that made you cry.

10. Make the words harsh and sharp. Scratch it out with a knife onto the page if you have to.

11. Don’t read it again.

12. Light it on fire. Watch it burn. Forget.

13. He wanted to burn you down but don’t let him. Get there first. You’re the one who’s holding the matches.

—  How to forget him– Lily Rain
1. you will find someone who loves you as a whole for who you are. do not settle for less, wait for them. it’s worth it.
2. it’s okay to grow apart from your friends. you’re not always going to stay close to the same people. appreciate the ones who make an effort to stay a part of your life.
3. sometimes you’ll feel down about your life; like you’re not doing as well as the people around you seem to be. that’s okay. everybody struggles. everybody goes at their own pace. life is not a race.
4. immerse yourself in the things you love. whether that’s the music you listen to, your hobbies, your job, your friends - keep these things close to your heart, don’t let anyone take them away from you.
5. find a way to love your everyday life. make time for the things that make you happy. don’t sit around waiting for good things to come, make your days good.
6. you will still get down. you will still get sad. don’t allow yourself to sit and wallow. learn to lift yourself out of the sadness.
7. move on from all the shitty people and situations you involved yourself in last year. even if they come back and apologize. not everyone deserves second chances, don’t give them to people who ruined your year.
8. learn to love yourself. maybe not entirely, maybe not all at once, but fall in love with pieces of yourself. learn to change the things you don’t like. you have more control of your life than you think you do.
9. don’t be scared to try new things or meet new people. you might fall in love with something or someone you never would’ve thought twice about.
10. start living life for yourself. not your parents. not your friends. not your significant other. do the things you love unapologetically. don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong or take it away from you.
11.  don’t take the little things for granted. love and appreciate the things that give you pleasure, no matter how small they seem.
12. don’t be afraid to feel things. don’t be scared of the sadness. don’t be weary of the happiness. feel things wholly and completely. don’t shy away from them.
13. some things aren’t meant to last forever, enjoy them while they’re there.
14. learn from every experience and relationship you have, even the bad ones. be able to walk away a better person because of them.
15. don’t let anyone else be in control of your happiness. don’t put your feelings on other people. it’s up to you and only you to know how to make yourself happy.
16. that doesn’t mean other people won’t make you happy, they should and they will. just know that you can still be happy when they’re not around. they’re not all the happiness you’re capable of.
17. don’t put up with people who make you feel like you’re hard to love. there are people who love you entirely as you are. make sure you keep them close.
—  things i learned in 2016 / a sequel to things i learned in 2015

ok so I can honestly just imagine pidge getting REALLY UPSET that shiro isn’t taking care of himself like

  • shiro gets sinus infections and shit pretTy often bc he’s got a huge lump of scar tissue hanging out in his nasal cavity, and the first time it happens with team voltron he tries to hide it until he FUCKING PASSES OUT LIKE A DINGUS
    • hunks like “woah pidge chill” but pidge is just: (ง °`Д´°)ง
  • pidge makes shiro PROMISE that if he starts to feel sick again he HAS to tell them–and they tear up a little bit–and shiro’s just like OH GOD I’M SO SORRY PLS DON’T CRY I’M SORRY
    • and pidge is just: (ಥ﹏ಥ) “…ok”
  • so a few months pass and shiro DOES get sick again and he’s like “…shit I gotta tell them but I don’t want them to worry ahhhhhhh fuck”
  • so he DOES tell pidge but really downplays ALL of his symptoms and pidge side eyes him SO FUCKING HARD like
    • (¬ ¬) “…ok. I trust you shiro. but you GOTTA tell me if it gets worse, ok? like if you develop a fever. ok?” and shiro’s like yeah sure no problem
    • (but he’s ALREADY got a fever, like a JACKASS)
  • and later that day pidge calls him down to their workspace all “shiro I want to test the levels of brain wave compatibility between paladins and their lions to better understand blah blah blah you’re most connected to your lion blah blah let me put these things on your head”
    • shiro’s sick and spaced out so he’s like “uh sure, that’s fine”
    • but PSYCH it’s a fucking THERMOMETER and the screen lights up “102.47″ and pidge just SCREECHES
    • and shiro’s stunned and apologizing, but also chuckling cuz it’s funny how upset pidge is getting about a little cold and saying, “pidge, really, it’s not that big of a deal, I just didn’t want you to worry over nothing.”
    • and pidge stops screaming really suddenly, almost crying, still obviously furious, just staring at shiro in silence. then just shouts “HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TRUST YOU?!” and storms off

Keep reading

Quick-Fix Writing Tips

i see a lot of common writing mistakes in fanfics that are really easily avoidable, and i am, by no means, the perfect writer, but i thought i’d pass on some tips that have been taught to me by more qualified people, for anyone who wants some really quick fixes on how to make your work sound more professional, without spending thousands of dollars on a university education that is probably not worth it (don’t do creative writing as your undergrad, kids):

  • almost always, the dialogue tag “said” is a much better alternative to whatever it is you just wrote. ‘“butt-face mcghee is the hottest boy in class,” cindy extrapolated.’ no. just say “said.” 
  • i was told a quote, which i will now paraphrase, which was, “you have three exclamation points to use in your entire life.” unless you are purposely being melodramatic, there are very few reasons to actually use an exclamation point. your dialogue should represent that clearly
  • speaking of dialogue, here is how NOT to properly write it: “Butt-Face McGhee gave me herpes.” She said. the proper way to write it would be: “Butt-Face McGhee gave me herpes,” she said. this is, by far, my biggest pet peeve, and i see it everywhere
  • you’ve probably heard the term “show don’t tell.” i cannot advocate this enough. example of telling: It was really hot out. There were no clouds in the sky, and Butt-Face McGhee was sweating. example of showing: Butt-Face McGhee’s eyes were watering from the sting of sweat, as the beads of water dripped down his forehead. He tugged his hat down further over his butt-like face to shield himself from the sun. He wished he had worn shorts that day, as his actual butt soaked through his boxers and into his jeans, in an unbearable case of swamp ass. the second scenario conveys the “it’s hot” message, without actually ever saying it
  • active vs passive writing: active should be the dominant voice you write in. it keeps the writing moving along, and reads much nicer. example of active voice: Butt-Face McGhee ate the deviled eggs Maria prepared. example of passive voice: The deviled eggs, which had been prepared by Maria, were eaten by Butt-Face McGhee. additionally, adverbs are going to make your writing read more passive, so use sparingly. sparingly is an example of an adverb
  • sentence variation. make sure you use a variety of sentence lengths when you’re writing so that your work doesn’t sound like a robot talking.
  • seriously, stop using exclamation points and write your dialogue correctly, it drives me fucking insane
  • that’s all i can think of right now. feel free to add to the list
  • happy writing
  • the end

why does no one ever talk about how badass Doc is? Like, I know he’s not got the highest kill count or the coolest weapon, but he’s keeping up with all these folks a third his age. The man is a senior citizen, and he’s clubbing skulls in with a crowbar. 

I know he has this whole peace-love-and-drugs vibe but we know he was in the military when he was younger and he’s way too good at fighting (especially considering his age) to not have prior experience. Even in the day 1 flashback he manhandled that one dude attacking the other therapist.

I just really want a flashback to like, 22-year-old Steven Beck who knocked teeth in when people effed with him. Cause Doc at almost 60 can throw down, so Doc in his 20s would’ve been a one man riot.

Ne Things

- Having a ton of hobbies
- Making a list for these hobbies to keep track of them all because there are so many
- Having a ton of ideas
- Making a list for these ideas to keep track of them all because there are so many
- Never finishing anything
- Making a list for all things unfinished to keep track of what needs to be finished because there are so many

In short: a crap ton of lists never reread because I’m too busy making other lists for things I have too many of.

Selfcare tips for smart cookies who are sad

If you want to feel a little better mon amour, i gathered some things i like to do in hopes that it’ll help you!

🌸 go ahead and hop into the shower. take a few minutes to really massage that schampoo into your hair. clean and fresh YAS

🌸 use a body lotion and use one that smells good(i recommend “very sexy” by Victorias Secret) (because it’s very sexy hihi)

🌸 put on a nice parfume, if you don’t have one you can borrow from a family member/friend or you can buy one(i recommend “viva la juicy” by juicy couture and “eternity aqua” by calvin clein) (somewhat expensive but sooo good y'all can come here and i’ll give u you get juicy couture and you get juicy couture and you get juicy couture everyone gets juicy couture

🌸 take a few moments and write a list about things that make you happy(for example: coffee, holding hands with your grandma, all the relationships you’re gonna have in the future, re-reading your favourite book, family dinners, when the leaves turn orange in autumn)

🌸 make yourself or buy your comfort food(s), mine being tortellini, vegan pizza and coffee mmmmmmm coffee

🌸 send out a few sincere compliments to people. tell your friend what you love about her/him/hen, tell your mom you’re thankful for everything she does. alot of times giving love means getting love and nothing bad about good karma am i right

🌸 write down everything that bothers you on a piece of paper, start with “dear maya..” or “dear paul..” write it for a person thats never gonna read it (or if you feel like you want too you can always message me and rant about your whole life I’m all yours)

🌸 if you don’t wanna think about something you can always try to learn a new language via duolingo, it really gets you focused on something else(advice from your coach-my self- i think you should learn swedish or french because they’re both equally hard and beautiful) if thats not something you find intresting you can always pick up a feel-good book, my favourite being “Anna and the french kiss” by Stephanie Perkins! light up some candles, make yourself some tea and cuddle down somewhere

🌸 watch a movie or tv-show!! i was really unhappy at one point but then i somehow started watching Jane The Virgin and it was sooooo funny and soooo good(the hype is real, watch) and it made me feel better

🌸 look up some nice quotes, my faves are
• “And then there’s light, It just takes time”
• “Pleure: les larmes sont les pétales du cœur.” (which is French for “Cry: tears are the heart’s petals.”)
• “Choose to be happy, It feels better”

🌸 listen to happy songs
• Classic by MKTO
• Price Tag by Jessie J(old but always get’s me dancing)
• Can’t Stop The Feeling by Justin Timberlake
• Forget You by CeeLo Green(forreal this is sooo good hahah)

🌸 before you go to bed, moisturize your face with a tiny bit of coconut oil - also put on some chapstick because you’ll wake up with a smooth face and soft lips and you’ll feel like a queen mon chérie

🌸 if you ever feel worthless, read this
• i am so happy you’re here
• i think you’re the cutest person that has ever read this
• i believe that you will reach your dream, whatever it may be, and you will be awesome
• relax, drop your shoulders, breath
• dogs everywhere love you and they get so excited when they see you because they wanna say Hello so badly
• with every breath you take, you help plants and flowers live
• you’re making a difference
• you’re stronger than you think
• you have a great sense of humour that people enjoy
• everything is better when you’re around


1. Be delicate, but not stuck up. Be graceful, but don’t be conceited. Be sexy, but not sexual. Be smart, but don’t be witty. Have an opinion, but don’t speak your mind.

2. Take up as little space as possible.

3. Don’t be like the other girls.

4. But don’t be too different either.

5. Take care of your body. Not by weekends at the spa, evenings in your tub with useless, stupid bath bombs, sweet treats,  a walk in the park or, god forbid, masturbation, no, taking care of your body means making sure you stay in shape to look as appealing as possible. Go to the gym whenever you can, stick to that diet, ignore your hunger, you have to be slim, you have to be skinny. Not too skinny, though. So make sure your body stores fat in places where it’s considered attractive: Your breasts, your ass. No cellulite. No flab. No dimples. No stretch marks. No body hair. If you let it grow, you let yourself go.

6. It’s self-understood, but of course, you have to have a vagina.

7. Remember that every other girl you meet is your rival. There is no such thing as true friendship between girls. In the end, she is going to disappoint and backstab you anyway. That’s just what girls are like. So be ahead of her at all times. Be prettier than her, more succesful than her, thinner than her, just better than her. Being a girl means being in a constant competition with every other female being.

8. In terms of sex; give, don’t take. Don’t ask foor too much.

9. If he hurts you, it is your fault. Always keep in mind that falling for a liar and a cheater is a sign of your own weakness, because you were blinded by the dumb, immature illusion of true love that girls are so fond of. If you want to be a good girl, you have to lower your expectations of men and settle for less than what you actually dreamed of. That’s just how it is. You should be thankful for every man that is interested in you anyway. So don’t mourn and don’t complain if one of them lets you down, not all men are like that, and your own stupidity is to blame, not his inability to refrain from giving in to his desire for another girl. If you would’ve been better, he wouldn’t have left you in first place.

10. Deny your human nature for it is inappropriate for girls to openly express their basic needs, such as hunger, arousal, or the simple need to burp, fart, piss, shit. That’s a boy thing, it’s funny if they do it, but gross and repulsive if girls do.

11. Be in control, but never take control.

12. Don’t even try to convince anyone you’re dressing up like that for yourself. It’s okay, darling, you want to be stared at, you want to be whistled at. Deep down inside, you need that kind of affirmation and acknowledgement, so take it as a compliment when someone yells that he wants to fuck you. If they take it too far, if they grab and molest you, well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before you put on that skimpy dress, you dirty little slut. Because even if you think you’re dressing up for yourself, even if you think you’re putting on makeup because it makes you happy, it’s wrong. As a girl, there’s only few things that you do for yourself, because it should be one of your main priorities in life to serve, just as girls always did, and always will.

13. Last but not least; yes, it’s supposed to hurt. So better get used to it.

—  What Society Taught Me - An ironical take on the unwritten rules we’re supposed to follow

If, like me, you like to do absolutely nothing and lose a lot of precious time, maybe this routine will help you out. It’s kind of (not so) simple, the idea is (as always) to be a Spencer Hastings/ Slash/ Rory Gilmore version of yourself, and for that, here’s what I do:

- Wake up at 5 a.m (okay, that part is reaaaaallly hard, especially during winter)

- Start the day with sport (my favorite is yoga, I use youtube videos. I’ll post something later on about that)

- Write a list of all the things you need to do by the end of the day during breakfast

- Go to class, or work, or do whatever it is that you normally do in the morning (except slacking of course : P)

- Same during afternoon, except that you need to take an hour to yourself to do whatever you want (updating a blog, reading a book, going on youtube …)

- Call it a day by 10/11pm, after a quick review of the list you wrote during breakfast to evaluate your productivity

And, because this isn’t hard enough when you’re a couch potato, here’s 4 important rules I follow:

1) Choose a quote that you’ll keep during the whole week to keep your motivation

2) Keep a healthy lifestyle (might want to reconsider your daily intake of sugar)

3) 3 to 5 times a week, you must workout (and the 20 or so minutes in the morning don’t count of course, that’d be too ease xD)

4) No distractions, meaning no TV, no series, no movies or whatever during the week. If you want to catch the next episode of your favorite TV show, you’ve gotta earn it

So, this is it! Everything that I try (very hard) to do every week, the only modification is that I don’t wake up at 5 during the week-end, but at 7 ! Tell me what you think of this routine, or if you have one of your own that might be different, don’t hesitate to share ! : )

Remember, stay focus, strong and healthy !

xoxo, Tessi

I mean…


Like, it’s totally cool and valid and creative and amazing to write your sole survivor as an other-worldly, ethereal Angel of Death™,  Angel of Vengeance™, Angel of War™, Angel of Destruction™, where her enemies lie blood-soaked in her wake and whatnot, but like,

Can’t we have a least a few cinnamon roll Soles out there? And you don’t even have to use the dumb Shaun-is-your-son vanilla backstory! And what I mean to say is-

I am a smol, kindly southern woman, and all I want is a Deacon/f!Sole fic where Sole is not able to keep on par with the banter-meister. Where Sole is easily embarrassed and hates it. Where Sole can’t mow down rows upon rows of humans with little to no emotional backlash, or even kill them at all. Where Sole doesn’t agree with everything Deacon and his faction do, and it causes some friction between them. Where Sole is paralyzed by fear during some honestly life-threatening events and potentially compromises the safety of the mission or worse. Where Sole has no idea how to handle a gun. Where Sole has to fight to draw her own moral line in the sand and can’t push herself to be like other wastelanders. Where Sole’s pre-war upbringing is a hindrance to survival and not always an asset. Where Sole’s practically undying compassion puts the life of her friends and settlers at risk. Where Sole’s timid and giving nature elicits irritation from some companions and patronizing lessons from others. Where Sole’s humble nature causes problems that only give more validation to her companions’ protests. Where Sole isn’t self-confident, and her failures only make it worse. Where Sole can’t help but cry at inappropriate times. Where Sole can barely make it through the moments when she wants to give up. Where Sole smiles at a lonely surviving postcard with a cute picture of baby animals on it and puts it in her bag. Where Sole takes time to soak in the little things that make her happy. Where Sole refuses to give up certain standards of living and being that she’s accustomed to despite how irrational it is to keep them. Where Sole exhibits interests other than wanton slaughter and the trite pass-time of reading. Where Sole finds a complete set of baseball equipment and forces her friends to play. Where Sole sets up a community basketball court. Where Sole delves into interior design, Commonwealth chic style. Where Sole makes clothes for settlers without much to call their own. Where Sole paints giant murals on the sides of settlement buildings to satisfy a creative outlet while unintentionally injecting a sense of wonder and whimsy into a place that lost it’s wonder a long time ago. Where Sole takes time to teach her friends about the things she enjoys. 

Gosh dangit! I just want a Sole that’s easier to relate to! :’( And more Deacon fics. 

Always more Deacon fics.

This one time, I walked into a glass door because I was looking at [my date]. Those things happen, sometimes for the better. Awkward is sometimes all right.
—  Sebastian Stan proving he wasn’t kidding when he said he only pretends to be cool
I Was Good Enough

I hated the situation we were in. It was meant to be convenient and easy going, not a giant mess of feelings and thoughts. And it’s not like I could blame him. He didn’t do anything wrong – itwas all on me. I was the one that developed feelings for him. I was the one that hated when he left afterwards. I was in this mess and I had to get out.

Keep reading

au for @everythingelsegoesherethen: dean winchester owns the marauders’ map and uses it to make sure he and castiel always ‘accidentally’ meet at strange times.

Since he became a Prefect at the beginning of his fifth year, Castiel Novak has dealt with a lot of troublemakers who clearly just haven’t read the Hogwarts rulebook.

Dean Winchester is not one of these.

Dean Winchester is clever. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s read the handbook and

And he never, ever gets caught.

Which is why Castiel is confused when he apprehends Dean for the third time in a month, trying unsuccessfully to get into a secret passage out of the school that Cas /knows he knows exactly how to access. And yet he’s tapping all over the one-eyes witch with his wand, cluelessly trying every combination of “Let me in!” that he can, acting for all the world as though he’s under some kind of Confundus charm.

He turns the light of his wand on Dean, and Dean turns around, doing a very good job of pretending to be startled.

“Dean Winchester?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” the boy grins, blushing and looking down at the floor but not seeming at all upset that he’s just been caught breaking five school rules at once.

“Yes, well, you’re out of bed after lights out, you’re messing with school property and you’re using magic in the corridors.” Cas is a little flustered and he can’t even explain why, but he still manages to tick at least some of the offenses off on his fingers.

“I /am? Oh, man, Cas, I’m so sorry. And I promise you it won’t happen again.” Dean is all mock-apologetic as he claps Cas on the shoulder and starts to walk away down the corridor.

“F-five points from Gryffindor!” Cas calls after him in a shaky voice.

This becomes a recurring problem. The following week, Cas runs into Dean in the restricted section of the library without a note giving him permission to be there. A few days later, he catches Dean in the act when he’s just about to set off a whole box of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes fireworks. Another time, he finds Dean on the Quidditch pitch after dark when it’s supposed to be locked up, flying loops just to show off. Sometime after that, Cas goes to take a bath in the Prefects’ bathroom at the end of a long day, and he finds the tub already overflowing with bubbles, Dean in a pair of red swimming shorts lazily swimming laps.

And for some reason it’s always harder for Cas to keep his cool around Dean that it is around anyone else. Usually he’ll dole out detentions without even blinking;the whole school respecting his authority, but something about this kid has him barely remembering the name of the red and gold house that he’s supposed to be taking points from. It /irks him, because he was given the Prefect position for a /reason, and he’s supposed to be unbiased and impartial and above such things.

After all this has been going on for a good few months, and Cas is no closer to figuring out what exactly is going on in Dean Winchester’s unfairly pretty head, he finds a piece of parchment on the floor. It’s on his normal patrol route, but not on a main corridor - it’s on one of the back routes that only Cas is responsible for walking down on his shift after lights out. It’s placed right in the middle of the corridor where Cas is guaranteed to see it. Almost as though it was left especially for him.

He picks it up. It looks blank at first, but when he unfolds it, he sees that it’s a map - an incredibly detailed map of the whole of Hogwarts castle, every room drawn, Cas believes, perfectly to scale, labelled in calligraphy, every secret passage and hidden entryway marked. Not only that, but the map is enchanted, constantly moving, staircases twisting their way through the halls in what Cas suspects is real time, and most importantly of all, tiny sets of footprints making their way through the castle halls, each with a name attached to them. Cas spots his own name next to his own footprints, which are still in the exact spot that he’s in.

He takes a step forward, and the footprints move with him.

Most of the spots are clustered in the common rooms and dormitories at this time of night; just a few Prefects and professors wandering up and down the corridors. But Cas has a sneaking suspicion he knows who this map belongs to, and the person doesn’t seem to be in the Gryffindor boys’ dormitories where he should be. Against his will, Cas finds his eyes skating over the map, looking for the potential offender.

Dean Winchester’s spot is pacing the Tallest Astronomy Tower.

Of course, none of this necessarily means that the map /actually corresponds to where people actually are. It could just be an example. Could be everyone is placed randomly and doesn’t move, no matter where they really are.

Which, of course, explains why Cas is already walking purposefully towards the Astronomy tower, taking each set of stairs two at a time, checking the map every few seconds to make sure Dean is still in the same place.

He reaches the door to the tower, and he’s not even completely conscious of why he’s doing it, but he runs a hand through his hair to fluff it up and he straightens his blue and bronze tie before he walks inside.

Dean’s there, as predicted, no longer pacing but standing in the center of the room - waiting for him? The tower is open to the heavens - not like the Great Hall, not like an enchanted version of the sky, but actually open, the summer night stars glinting down and reflecting off of magical lights that have been conjured and left to hover all around the edge of the circular tower room, a light breeze ruffling Cas’ robes as he steps towards Dean, noticing that the usually bare wooden floor is scattered with large, puffy gold and bronze cushions.

Cas holds out the map. “I think this is yours.”

Dean takes it from him, not at all surprised to see Cas there. “Don’t think it’s really anyone’s. Thing kind of has a mind of its own. But yes, I’ve been using it for a while.”

“Tell me something?” Cas asks. “You just admitted this is yours. With this you can see anyone coming at any time, you can always stay one step ahead of any professor or prefect, you never have to get found out by anyone. But you keep letting me catch you. Why?“

"That depends,” Dean says with a smirk. “Why’d you bring the map back instead of handing it into a professor? Seems like it’s a contraband object. Seems like I /should get in trouble.”

Cas opened his mouth to retort to that, but realized he didn’t have anything to say. Why /had he come here? Dean was right, after all. His first instinct, as a Prefect with designs on Head Boy at some point in the future, should have been to turn the object over to a member of staff. His mind shouldn’t even necessarily have jumped to Dean. But it had, and now he was here.

“Alright. That aside, why’d you wait for me? Why’d you pick a specific place, here, that you have /no reason to be and just pace around hoping I’d show up to find you?”

Dean spluttered, but quickly recovered. “Why’d you look for me on the map? Why’d you stare at it for so long that you saw where I was in the first place?”

“Why’d you decorate? The stars, the lights, the cushions? Why’d you set this all up for a special occasion?”

They stared at each other for a while, breathing heavily, waiting for the other one to be the first to break.

Cas cracked, and Dean gave up at the same moment, and then he both of them were lunging towards each other, Dean grabbing Cas by the tie he’d just straightened, pulling it askew, Cas fisting both of his hands in Dean’s robes, both yanking the other towards them, crashing their lips together so hard that it was almost painful when they met, their bodies falling into each other, their teeth clashing and their noses bumping and when they pull apart, they both tumble down onto the pile of cushions they’ve set up and /now Cas understands why they’re there, /now it makes sense because their landing is soft and they can reach for each other again immediately, both of them lying on their sides in the heap of fluffy pillows, kissing each other over and over and over again, each one making their lips tingle. Over time, as they grow used to the feeling, the kisses become slower, softer, more languid, and the hooded eyes when they pull away from each other are less from desire and more from tiredness, and they’re both sure they’d be happy to sleep here.

"So, what? You’ve been risking detention and house points for Gryffindor and your reputation as someone who never gets caught just to… just to get my attention?” Cas asks finally, propping himself up on one elbow.

Dean tugs him back down and kisses him again. “Well, you’re risking your Prefect position right now. But I feel like you always have to risk a little something to get the best things in life.”

And between holding hands on long walks by the lake, between screaming themselves hoarse together at Quidditch matches, between feeding each other Bertie Botts’ Every Flavour Beans while studying in the library, and between many, many more long nights in the Astronomy tower, Cas learns that as frustrating and complicated as he is; Dean is definitely one of the best things in his life.

1. My stomach hurts and it’s not because of you but it might as well be.

2. you weren’t in my dreams last night and it was a blessing and a curse because even in sleep you are leaving me.

3. i almost called you as I fell asleep to tell you how I hadn’t thought of you all day, but we both know I’d be lying.

4. whenever I see you with her I could either throw up or cry or none of the above so I settle for staring blankly at a wall
wishing I could be someone you’d come home too.

—  4 reasons I hope I don’t see you tomorrow– Lily Rain

Up for a writing challenge? Use this click and drag AU generator to discover an AU that’s a little out of the norm and write something! Long or short, it’s still a good writing exercise. This includes 60 items.

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To me, there are five different types of love.

1) Blurry eyes across a dance floor. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. Toes tapping and knees weak, hot and sweaty passion. Found only in the darkest of rooms, in the loudest of places, one kiss and every ounce of love gone with the rush of the crowd. Her lips mark my pillow but I have never seen a face as soft as hers leaving for work at 7 am, coffee rings around her eyes, lip stick stains on her hips- maybe we’ll meet again.

2) Every night like clock work, my eyes start watering like the sting of a Mexican pepper and trust me, I burn red from the heat of it. Tossing muttered breathed curses, I am a ball of rage that only her coldness knows how to soothe, a wind tunnel of hatred. And although I delete her number, I curse insanely whenever her name is mentioned, ringing like a warning label, I still answer her calls, I still go for walks, I still get green eyed at blonde hair and a glowing tan, but I hate like a green tree cobra only her arms are the branch that I reach off of.

3) We met under a bus stop. Love asked me if I was ready for her and I still haven’t had time to answer. My voice shattered like a steam engine, howled like the nature of a wolf, this love I did not know how to tame. I was always one step behind, until there was a sad trail of footsteps leading away from her to my bare feet. With her, I was desperate to stay young, stay hidden, stay innocent, but in the end unpredictability met responsibility and they crashed head on like a motoring accident.

4) Bowl cuts. 7 am glasses of whiskey. Moon rimmed glasses. We had nothing in common. Although, I wore paisley shirts and did cocaine behind a cricket field, who am I kidding I was out of my depth. She walked like a run away model, and I was the train of her dress skipping along behind her-I held my cool until I was caught in the door frame. I loved the idea of this love with everything that I am, but 60’s raves aren’t my style.

5) People say there is always one love that got away, but you didn’t get lost you fucking ran. I was out of breath trying to keep up with you. Although I cracked my bones to build some sort of relationship structure, you were the first to find fault with every blue print. And I tried to look like I had some form of basic sanity to keep her beside me, but I think she enjoyed mysteries so much eventually she became one. And after that, I could never work her out.