Robots Can't Feel
Your first kiss as a robot was quite violent. In your missing body, you might have felt the beginnings of a really heated blackrom relationship, but, as a robot, feelings were much more difficult. He’d programmed pity into your steel body, a burning, intense pity, and it canceled out the hate.
Blue blood flowed through you, sending cool sparks and waves into every part of your body. More of his idea of “perfected” creation, you mused. He must truly have pitied you, to put so much effort into this painfully limiting body. It was nowhere near as good as being alive had been, but sometimes you reveled in the new strengths you’d been given.
Yet, behind all of the calculation and lack of feeling, there it was. Pity for the creator of this body, pity for his sad, lonely life that not even his moirail seemed to be able to fix for him. It was so strong in you, almost a command. Pity him.
You might have hated him for trying to force feelings into the shell of your half-life, but you couldn’t even manage that. Death was too draining for you to maintain proper levels of emotion, so you removed the problem. The chip inside your mockery of a heart was ripped out, savagely pounded into a table.
It still wasn’t enough. You suspected he must have set up your entire programming in a way that suited him, but you didn’t care. It was okay. Pity him, pity him, pity him. It was always drumming in your tin head, sending weird vibrations through you whenever you saw him.
So eventually, you gave in. You’d surprised him one evening and pressed him up against a wall, stealing from his excess emotion to kiss him the way you thought he wanted. It was a game, pretending all for his sake, but somewhere deep inside you it felt… right.
You stayed with him when you could, your chilly metal against his cool highblood skin. Sometimes you would just sit and talk, quietly being with one another. Mostly, you kissed, sometimes with tears running down your faces, sometimes with what was almost joy for you.
You hated being dead, but Equius made things a little bit better.