I’m a perfectionist and yet, nothing in me is perfect. I still think the best solution to problems is crying, I still avoid confrontation and I still write my feelings instead of talking about them but I’m getting better and if I can do it, so can you.
loving isn’t difficult. life isn’t difficult. that’s what i was told. and am still being told. and i agree. it shouldn’t be difficult. but sometimes it is. sometimes life is hard. it throws unexpected things and surprises your way. one minute you’re fine and the next minute you don’t know how to cope with anything. you feel like you’re losing yourself. you feel like your life has no purpose. you feel like living is pointless. yes, there are so many things and people to be grateful for. yes life is beautiful. but it can also be so ugly. people walk in and out of your life as they please, and treat you like you didn’t matter. life can be difficult. when you think you actually have it all together, something can come and break that process altogether. this isn’t complaining. this is being upfront. this is the truth. and love? god. this word. thrown around and used to control and manipulate people. i hate the people that love to break others with love. they know what they’re doing. they know how to make you fall for them. love them. cherish them. devote to them. then they leave you once they’re done. longing for someone doesn’t have to be sexual. emotionally, and mentally you become so attached. you feel like apart of you is missing just because they left and it sucks. because you still love them because that’s the only thing you feel good at. the only thing you know that works. loving is so simple yet so destructive. life is so beautiful yet so ugly. and there are no rules when it comes to these two things. life and love are two things, that you have to figure out on your own
Usually when I feel lonely it’s not because I don’t have people around me it’s because no one seems to think the way I do. That being said, I feel alone because I’m surrounded by so many people that don’t know who I am.
A message to all writers: It’s okay to be frustrated with your work. It’s okay to wish you could writer better/faster/more. It’s okay to wish you could skip all these rough patches and skip straight to the exciting parts: publishing and selling and reaping in what you’ve sown. It’s a part of the process. Press on so you can see the results you’re dreaming of.