every goodbye is an open door.
So sometimes it doesn’t work out. Sometimes the girl goes back home, to her sob story mother and her too-small bedroom. Sometimes the boy with the good heart breaks you into more pieces than anyone else because it’s really the ones with the drinking problems that know enough about getting hurt to be gentle. Sometimes the one who said they’d never leave hops a plane or hitch-hikes five states north of you. Sometimes you are the problem. Sometimes you are the one putting people’s bodies out like cigarettes. Did you know that if you put a lit match into your mouth, the oxygen stifles the flame? What that means is we have the power to put out fires. What that means is we are all capable of magnificent things. On our own. Sometimes your mother still talks to your ex and you hear their secret phone-calls and listen for your name like a prayer that isn’t answered. Sometimes he’ll come home too late and you will make him sleep on the couch only to miss him in bed next to you. Sometimes the girls aren’t honest. Sometimes they mistake convenience for love. Sometimes they’re with you because it’s easy. And they leave when it gets too hard. Sometimes there’ll be someone else involved and you will spend every day of your life comparing yourself to anyone who has their high forehead or their slack little mouth. Sometimes they’ll apologize. They will write you sorry letters and you will wallpaper the insides of your head with them. Sometimes he changes his number, but you still leave voicemails on the old one when you’re having a bad day. Sometimes the girl moves on too quickly. Sometimes she tries to come back, and you let her, only to watch her leave again. Sometimes this happens more than once to just one person. Sometimes it happens again and again, so much so that they start to associate love with leaving. Sometimes that’s exactly what love is. Sometimes leaving is better than tip-toeing around each other. Sometimes leaving is the best thing to do. And the kindest. And the bravest. Sometimes love is more effort than anything is worth. Sometimes it’s a lost cause. Sometimes it’s not what we were looking for. Sometimes it’s not what we need. Sometimes it doesn’t work out because sometimes it’s not supposed to.