writer's reflection

forever is a long
long time
and if i can’t spend it by your side
i’ll spend it wishing i was
—  i wouldn’t mind
(cc, 2017)

the snow falls fast in balled up
fists of ice, tiny little fights
adorn my black scarf like glitter

a very important fight
but a celebration of light,

miniature fistfuls of diamonds
drape my hair, what choice do we have
but to find the beautiful
in the chaos we see here


i just wanna give a shout out to the writers of One Day At A Time. Not only are they the reason we have gotten an incredible show that tackles a lot of social issues and does it well, but they’re also just overall a diverse cast of writers and i’m so grateful to finally see this kind of diversity in a writers room. It truly reflects in their writing and their show in a very positive way. 

I want all other shows to look and see that an amazing (and funny and touching) show can be written when you have a room full of anything other than just white dues who are probably all straight (k maybe they’d have their one female writer). 

You want to know why Elena’s coming out story was so amazingly and accurately done? They have two queer writers writing the show, along w/ Mike Royce who’s daughter had just recently come out to him as the show was being written and developed. Having input like this, coming from true experience rather than just what people ‘know’ can really be seen when the final thing is put together.

So like, thanks One Day At A Time writing team. Thank you for putting your experiences out there so that we, as an audience, can relate to and love these characters and the show. 

Day Four Hundred Sixty One.

Although I shouldn’t,
I still wonder how
You’re doing after all this time.
I wish I could stop caring,
Shut it all off and move on,
Like you did.
But then, I wouldn’t be me.

You once told me, after the fact, that I was the only relationship you had ever given a shit about. After all of the heartache and the tears and messy teenage feelings I was the only one that ever meant something to you. And I think I needed to hear that. But not because I still love you. Hell, I’m not even sure that I ever did. I think I just needed to know that someone, at some point, was watching out for me. After everything that happened, good and bad, it’s important to know that I was once worth the love and the effort. And I really, really need you to know how much happiness I wish for you. I really need you to understand how sorry I am that I ever hurt you and made you feel insecure about my feelings. I truly am. But sometimes things aren’t right, and it feels like your heart is made of a million tiny shards of glass all collapsing at once, but it’s okay. We move on and we find exactly what we need. Maybe we honestly believed that it was each other, or just wanted to. Either way, I am so, so thankful for your momentary existence in my life, and I would not have grown and changed and become who I am without you by my side. So thank you.
—  T/K

His words are not life rafts
to hold onto.
And words are not love.
It is better to jump off board
and explore the depths.
To become familiar
with the uncertainties
swimming underneath
our feet. It is better to dive in
and rise above the water
with the hidden treasure
of the seas
placed inside our hearts:
a vast and open mind.

~Aya Al-Hakim©

You may lose your best friend and feel lonely
You may lose the love of your life and feel lonely
You may never return to the city you call home and feel lost
But you will feel the most lonely when you lose yourself.
That’s when you’ve really lost someone worth fighting for.
That’s when you must accept all your mistakes and all your flaws
And that’s when you must forgive yourself.
Because the hardest person you will ever have to forgive is you.

Lately you’ve been on my mind. I’ve memorized the way you look when you smile, that goofy and adorable half-smile of yours, never showing any teeth because hey, you’re a boy, and boys don’t show emotion, right? or so I’ve been told. I’ve imagined sitting with you on a clear night gazing at the stars and making pointless wishes on shooting stars because secretly, my wish was you, and in my perfect dream, that wish came true. I can still feel the tingles that rushed through my body when I saw you this morning, remember my smile getting so big, animated and cartoon-like because the thought of you makes me unbelievably happy. So, yes, I’ve been trying to move on with my life, but lately, you are my life.
—  9:55PM// I’m already too invested in you, this unrequited love
Day Four Hundred Eighty.

gravel roads glimmer,
reflecting moonlight in an
endless sea of puddles.
rain boots trudge through city streets,
as i push forward, 
caught in a trance. 
clear mind
free of thoughts, 
just one foot in front of the other.
i catch random fragments, 
tangents, and phrases from
passersby, simply indulging 
in their innocence. while crossing
these winding roads, i can’t 
help but wonder why
i can only find peace 

Stop allowing them to change your perception of yourself.
A flower does not lose its beauty once someone stops admiring it.
You are just as wonderful now as you were when they were still around.
Act like it.
—  Maxwell Diawuoh, Once a Day (10/366)
On some days I stare at the ceiling and wonder if I’ll ever get used to this. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to falling in love with people I have no chance with. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to falling in love with people that will only bring me heartbreak. Some part of me wants to say yes, but the answer is no.
—  j.c


There are nights
i wish
closing my eyes
drifting to
meant waking
in your arms
in a dream
walking next
to you
holding your
hand in the dark
watching the
lightning dance
across the sky
being seventeen
in endless love
nights when
I drift
to sleep and
find you
are nights
I long to stay
to lay
next to you
if only
if only
we could
go back
to dreamy
and live
when we


—  Anunclaimedheart , Aimèe Petersen