writer's best friend

love is deep. it is lust, that is shallow.
—  random thoughts//nikitagupta

The graveyard of our memories
Is a huge space and it takes months of long lonely nights to visit each grave.
I can never forget any of the engravings on the tombstones though, 
Neither can I forget the date it all went dead. 
There are so many pretty flowers of all colours everywhere, 
I know it isn’t you and it definitely isn’t me so who else even cared?

For the longest time I wondered who else held these graves dear,
Until I realized it was from every promise we made, every ‘I love you’ we giggled and ever unspoken thought we very clearly heard. 
The flowers were from the love that was true and the beauty of truth. 

For a long time I wondered then, who is it that killed them all? 
Who is it that killed us?
I blamed time so very wrongly, 
I had no one else in mind. 
Until I realized it was our priorities, aspirations and pride. 
It was the adults who didn’t care about friendship bracelets and handmade cards. 

I see it as something dead to mourn about, 
Do you see it at all?
Or did you use all that was dead as stepping up in the race that has got to your head? 

But maybe it is me being mistaken again,
Maybe you followed your religious rites.
Maybe we sit in a beautiful urn somewhere in your mind. 

100 ways to say “I love you”:
1. You are beautiful.
2. I love your smile.
3. Here, let me get that for you.
4. I love seeing you wake up in the morning.
5. You are amazing.
6. I love (this) about you:
7. Stay safe. Text me when you get there.
8. I love when you do (this):
9. I think you’re beautiful when:
10. You’re too good for me.
11. I don’t deserve you.
12. I care about you.
13. Don’t put yourself down like that.
14. I adore you.
15. I can’t stop thinking about you.
16. Seeing you makes me smile.
17. I need you by my side.
18. I’m thankful for you.
19. You make me a better person.
20. You complete me.
21. Have a good day at work!
22. You’re the light of my life.
23. Seeing you makes my day.
24. I get butterflies every time we talk.
25. I’m so lucky to have you; I don’t know how I got so lucky.
26. You set my heart on fire.
27. I’ll walk you home.
28. I love to make you happy.
29. You’re my soulmate.
30. You’re my best friend.
31. I can’t wait to see you (again).
32. You mean the world to me.
33. You’re my rock.
34. I value you.
35. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
36. I love being around you.
37. Pull over and let me drive some.
38. Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.
39. I want you.
40. You complete me.
41. You’re my happiness.
42. Do you need anything?
43. I want to hold your hand and never let go.
44. You’re the only one for me.
45. You are my heaven on earth.
46. Every time I look at you I fall in love all over again.
47. Drive safe.
48. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
49. Forever isn’t too long, because I know I’ll be with you.
50. I’d rather argue with you than kiss someone else.
51. You look great today.
52. I love that _______ on you.
53. You look cute when you push your glasses up.
54. I’ll always be here; I’m here for you.
55. My heart hurts when you’re not around.
56. I can’t think of what my life would be like without you.
57. We’re perfect for each other.
58. I cherish you; you’re more important than anything else in my life.
59. I will love you until I die, and even after.
60. You’re mine.
61. I support you.
62. I’m addicted to you.
63. You’re perfect in my eyes.
64. Take this; it’ll help you feel better.
65. I can’t wait to see you.
66. You’re the only one for me.
67. I’m crazy about you.
68. I had an amazing time with you.
69. I feel so lucky to have you.
70. I’ll never let you go; I’ll never want to.
71. I hope this moment never ends.
72. You leave me breathless.
73. I’d do anything for you.
74. Seeing you happy makes me happy.
75. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.
76. You always find a way to make me smile.
77. I can’t put what I feel for you into words; it’s too great.
78. I still get jealous even though I know you’re mine.
79. I’m listening to you.
80. I made this for you, I know it’s your favorite.
81. I’m excited and nervous for tonight with you.
82. I got you your favorite candy.
83. I’ll always care about you.
84. I made you breakfast.
85. I can never stay mad at you.
86. I love your eyes; they’re gorgeous.
87. I love that outfit on you.
88. You look so cute.
89. You’re the highlight of my day.
90. How’d you sleep?
91. Your smile makes my heart go crazy.
92. I hate seeing you cry.
93. It’s my job to make you happy.
94. I want to spend more time with you.
95. I’ll fix it.
96. I hate when we argue.
97. You’re the only person I want to live my life with.
98. You drive me crazy (in a good way).
99. I’m proud of you.
100. I trust you, I always will.

- L.L.
—  via @thoughtlessinspirationss on tumblr
Even if you find
someone new,
to talk to every night,
to hang out with every day,
to share the giggles and
laughter at some
secret jokes,
to walk with and tell
wonderful stories,
I am still here,
waiting for you
to knock at my door
and sit beside me,
like we never missed
each other,
I am still here,
even if you’re not asking.
I am still here,
even if you weren’t
going to be there
for me anymore.
—  ma.c.a // A Promise
A friend of mine once told me that we never forget the people we’ve loved. Whether you’re the heartbroken or the heartbreaker, the cheated on or the cheater, if you really loved someone, you’ll never forget it. You’ll never be able to fully remove their fingerprint from your heart or the feel of them from your hands because you’d already allowed them to become that much a part of you. Their name will always cause a stir inside of you, and even if you reach a point where you can ignore it, that flutter will never go away.
—  🖤
signs you love her

1. you think she is beautiful even when she has acne all over her face and hair tied in a messy bun. you think she looks hot when she tries to be mad at you for being too hard on your self. you think she looks better than most of the human population and you think she looks best when she’s in your arms professing her love for you between sips of that bitter vodka you bought her.

2. you can’t stop thinking about her brown eyes, short black straight hair and freckled pointed nose. you can’t stop thinking of how her lips would feel against yours right this instance. you can’t stop thinking about how perfect her breasts feel in your hands. you can’t stop thinking about the late night conversation you had with her. you just can’t stop thinking about her even when you’re sipping coffee at starbucks, even when you’re watching a horror movie, even when you’re in class studying discrete math.

3. you know when she is angry, or when she is pissed at you for talking about other girls. you know what she likes to eat when she is on her period. you know when she is upset about that paper that she turned in late to her professor. you know she likes to be the centre of your attention always. you know she smiles when you hold her hand firmly in public. you know she bites her nails when she’s stressed out. you know her inside out.

4. you smile like a crazy man when you see her. you smile when someone says her name. you smile when you see a text message from her. you smile when you’re around her. you smile when people say you look good together. you smile when someone tells you she looks beautiful, like its a compliment for you and not her. you smile when she tells you she loves you. you smile when she tells you she loves to be your girl. you smile all day like an idiot and you smile until someone tells you to stop smiling because she’s not even around.

5. you talk about her to everyone, to your mom, to your bestfriend, to your room mate. you tell them everything about her. you tell them about how you read this tumblr post and it made you think of her. you tell them she’s perfect, not because of how she looks, or how smart she is, or how well she writes but because she’s yours. and only yours. you tell them how you don’t date a nine, but always a fucking ten, so yeah you tell everyone how and why she is a perfect ten.

Being in love is great, don’t get me wrong. The kisses, the “I miss you” hugs, the cuddling, the love. Everything about falling in love is what makes a person remember how great it feels to have butterflies in your stomach and to have your heart beat so fast that your chest is going to explode. Being in love with someone is amazing. But being in love with your best friend, god that is fucking the best thing I could ever ask for. Being in love with the person that makes you laugh so hard that you nearly have snot coming out your right nostril and makes your stomach turn inside out. Being in love with the person that you share secrets with and gossip about people with, the person that says “fuck her baby, she don’t know a damn thing” kind of best friend. The person that you can lay next to at night and can’t sleep until 3 am because you were talking about how people can’t learn their damn differences between they’re, their, and there, and then laugh about it. The person that you argue with about what kind of food you want to eat, or who’s going to be the one to get up from the bed and turn off the light. The person that you can lick their face and they won’t look back at you with a confused face, but sticks their finger up your nose. The person that won’t only being the shoulder to cry on, but the shoulder that will bring you back up and make you stronger than before. The person that will tell you whats wrong and whats bothering them instead of being distant and ignore the situation. Loving someone that you can share memories and laughs with, god it is beautiful. Being in love is great, don’t get me wrong. But being in love with your best friend, that is the most wonderful thing I could ever ask for.
—  I’m in love with my best friend
your mouth
your smile
your hands
say all the right things
that make me feel
and wanted
like i’m the only one for you
like i’m all you want
which is all i want
because you’re all i want

but your eyes
don’t say
my name
—  Anonymous said: about being in love with your best friend and he hints that he likes you back but still checks out other girls in front of you and it breaks your tiny stupid heart?
(cc, 2017)
How can you say i pushed you away when you were already stepping back?
—  c. k. reyes
I needed her you know? She was my best friend and i loved her. Not in a romantic way, it wasn’t like that. But she was the person i went to when i was too sad to say a word, or so tired that i could not sleep. I needed her like an inhaler to help me breathe.
And now the weight of the world is sitting on my chest.
I know, you think my generation doesn’t give two fucks about anyone else but themselves. but honestly why should we. everyone we loved left us for someone better, someone with longer legs or bigger bank balances. everyone we respected disappointed us by weaving us in a myriad of lies. everyone we idolised betrayed us. in a generation where everyone is letting everyone down, everyone is too stressed or too anxious, do you except us to care about other people. do you expect us to protect people from drowning when we dont even know how to swim. do you expect us to save lives when we want to end our own. do you expect us to love when our own hearts have been shattered into pieces. do you actually except us to give fucks about anyone but ourselves.
—  i am sorry i am selfish
the definition of friendship
is not one that can easily be described;
there are no black and white lines
because friendships are made
of people
and people are never perfect
but if i’ve learned anything
in my four years in high school,
it’s that friends are the ones
who still love you even when they hate you
because you made the biggest mistake of your life,
and who you know you can call at three in the morning
after your boyfriend cheats on you
even though she tried to warn you that he would do it
and hasn’t talked to you in two months,
and who will listen to you bitch about someone
for the millionth time in a row
and just let you go on because they understand
that you need to get it out of your system.
friends are the people who you go on late night, early morning,
and anytime in-between adventures with,
even if those “adventures” are just to walmart or mcdonalds or your house.
they are the ones who love you at your worst.
they are the ones who check up on you 
even if they’re mad at you.
they are the people who still care about you
even when you don’t talk much anymore
and the ones who you can talk to about anything
or go anywhere
and still have a good time.
they are the ones who call your parents “mom” and “dad” by accident
instead of “mrs.” or “mr.”.
they are the ones who you tell everything to
and who have seen you at your best and worst.
friends are the ones who make this life worth living
even when it’s a living hell.
they aren’t the ones who only like you when you drink,
and they aren’t the ones who ditch when they see 
how ugly you can really get. 
they aren’t the ones who ignore your cries for help
because they’re angry at something you did to someone else.
they aren’t the ones who ignore you when you apologize
and they aren’t the ones who don’t accept your apology for fucking up.
and, most of all, they aren’t the ones who hate you and never change their minds. they aren’t the ones who leave you at rock bottom and only come back when you’re on a mountaintop again. they aren’t the ones who only want to see you at your gold-star moments; they aren’t the ones who leave when you’re crying at two am over something stupid for the millionth time and decide they just “can’t care” anymore.
it’s not always perfect; people aren’t perfect, so why would friendship be perfect?
friends make mistakes; forgive that whenever possible
(or when it’s a little impossible),
but also know when to let go of a friend who was never a friend at all.
—  high school is almost done and i haven’t learned much but i have learned who my real friends are. if you’re not one of them, see you never after june 2. // 2.10.17
What if someone who is so constant suddenly disappears out of your life? Maybe that’s why, I don’t like getting attached. I don’t like the idea of giving someone the power to destroy my heart by choosing to walk away. I want to guard my heart. I want to save myself.
Loving you has been no small feat. It’s no different than someone climbing Mount Everest, hoping to make it to the top and aching with every step they take. But I keep going even knowing this could break me, as much as it’s put me back together. And if I ever get myself to the peak I know I’ll either enjoy the view, soaking in all the beauty that remains.. or I’ll let out a deep sigh, look down below with tears in my eyes and jump from the ledge.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #63

:for every writer on tumblr:

I hope you meet someone, someday, who makes you write about things that make you happy rather than unhappy.
I hope you meet someone, someday, who makes you write about love instead of heartbreak and people who chose to stay instead of leave.
I hope you meet someone, someday, who makes you want to write about the feelings that make you feel alive right now rather than the feelings that make you feel dead.

—  tenth of march
Sometimes I think about how you’ve begun to open up to me. Do you even realize how special I feel just knowing that you consider me a safe enough place to deposit your secrets? My insides melt to pure gold knowing that pieces of your soul are being dropped into them like rain. And I don’t know how I could ever repay you for this gift.
—  🖤
you and i, we are binary stars
because you make me feel so safe within your orbit
or maybe i am an astronaut, getting lost on purpose and accidentally
and you’re an alien, always showing me the way and watching as i make my own discoveries
either way
you have been there
through it all
you were there
when i was burnt by the surface of the sun, and you were the star that numbed the pain
when i have skated across saturn’s rings, and you held my hand, making sure i would not fall
when undiscovered planets became my escape, and you found my hiding places each and every time
i have gotten lost within black holes, only to have you pull me back out
and those mysterious heart-shaped craters on the surface of Mars were drawn by me, while thinking about you
you and i – we watched flowers grow, and sunrises and sunsets
we watched the death of stars and the loss of moons
through it all, both beautiful and horrible and the things in between
i could turn and see you right by my side

there are more stars in the sky than i could even begin to fathom
they swirl together, creating colorful formations and dizzying sights
but they can’t hold a candle to the constellations that linger on your skin
across your cheeks and around your stomach; along your thighs and in your eyes
the cluster of galaxies within your chest shine brighter than orion’s belt
instead of the north star, i look to you to find my way home
and i just know that pluto wouldn’t be so cold if i had you by my side
—  Anonymous said: Write something for a friend who’s been with you through your thick and thins please?
(cc, 2017)