How is it we can constantly give our all for another person.. How is it we can see them for all the good any normal person can see from a distance, but also see that dark side that most people would run from and don’t take the time time to get to know, and still choose them at the end of the day? How do we consistently put in the effort even when we know that we’ll have the wind knocked out of us soon enough when it’s 2 am and three days later and they still haven’t texted back? How is it even with the knowledge that when we were supposed to be important, we were actually so far behind you’d think we were first, that we still try?
I’d like to believe that there is a fine line between being blind and stupid versus having good intentions regardless of the outcome. I would like to think some of us are blind and trying to figure out if we continuously try until we have nothing more to give, if they’ll come crawling back. While the rare few, these special other individuals, are trying to make “them” see that if they opened their eyes wide enough for simply a moment they’d see how things really were, not the delusions their past hurt have created. It’s these individuals that knowingly accept that they might never get their happy ending with this person, but they want to still give “them” the world even if they don’t know it’s being handed to them. Because they can’t know it’s being handed to them, can they? There is no way someone would actually leave you questioning your worth for so long if they were aware of, how you make the time to include them in your day regardless of how busy you are, how you stay aware of what overwhelms them to calm them down, how you let their nastiest side come out and you still stay put. It’s these rare individuals that want to prove that someone can see all that you are and want you anyway, even when you’re ignoring all their actions and telling them they’re not worth it.
But in the end, regardless of which kind of person you are, when does it stop? When have you heard, “you’re not good enough,” enough times? When have your phone calls and texts been unanswered too many times? How many ways and times can you accept all the blame, even if it should be mutual, just to show them you meant everything you’ve ever said, just to be told it’s still not enough?
So I guess I’ll just sit here for a while and wonder how a good thing went so wrong, and ask myself which person I am, and when do I stop.