write rhymes

You are beautiful yet you hold so much pain. You deceive others. We have a relationship that I know will end abruptly someday whether I’d like it to or not. You look different to everyone, some see you as a blessing, some see you as a trial that they want to end, you treat everyone differently too but for all of us this is an illusion and for all of us the answer is the same.

— Cynthia Chapman // to life

This has nothing to do w/ anything and I know people have talked about it before BUT I want to as well. Usually my metas tend to be angsty af and then end on a hopeful note, and this will probably be no exception. But anyway, a delve into Victor’s love of fairytales!

I can recall on 2 occasions Victor specifically comparing Yuuri to a fairytale.

Which may not seem like a lot but we have 12 episodes and if something is pointed out twice in a story, it has some amount of significance. Anyway, I just think it’s so damn cute that Victor considers Yuuri prince-like. Even the visuals and story of On Love: Eros is like a fairytale!

We go on about how extra Victor is (and he 200% is…that 50s pink cadillac tho) but I wanna here more about how much of a true romantic Victor is. 

This entire thing is like an hc-palooza courtesy of me. Here we go!

I like to think of a little Victor, watching all these fairytale movies–Disney or otherwise–and dreaming of one day finding a prince of his own.

A 12 year old Victor with his first real crush, staring at a pretty boy with darker hair and kind eyes in one of his classes or at the rink. Victor thought he had found his prince, until one day the affection faded and his mind focused on other things. 

A teenage Victor, going through various relationships like others would go through clothing. He’s a busy young man after all, and no one seems to want to look beyond the Victor Nikiforov on screen, one the ice, and actually date him. Victor starts to wonder if there is a prince out there for him. 

Victor as a young adult, still a romantic at heart, but has pretty much entirely lost hope on finding his true love. No one sticks around, and he hasn’t found anyone he cares deeply enough about to chase. Victor’s lonely, to put it simply. He sits up at night sometimes, and watches all those fairytales from when he was a child. Victor smiles sadly at the end of them all, and dreams of a prince of his own. 

And Victor in his late 20s, as we see him pre-series. He’s frosted with depression and loneliness; the never-ending cold discs of metal, the isolation from other skaters, people kissing up to him left and right. Everything is predictable. He’s running out of motivation, out of ideas. Victor knows people only want him as what they see when he performs. It’s a saddening thought, that Victor is not lovable as himself. Some people were not meant to find a true love, he supposes.

Until one night, a night we all know well. 

The Sochi GPF banquet. Victor is intrigued by this attractive man flitting through the room, clearly intoxicated, but with this charming energy no one can resist. Not even Yuri Plisestky, himself pulled into a dance with Japan’s Yuuri Katsuki. 

Victor manages to escape from his sponsors to laugh and point and take pictures from the sidelines. Yuuri whirls past him and the way the light shines on his hair and eyes makes Victor’s breath catch and his heart skip. 

Victor watches as Yuuri dances with Chris–and wow, is that a show and a half. Yuuri strides over to Victor and holds him in place, hips shaking and Victor can only stare on in wonder. This beautiful, energetic, charming young man is staring up at him, like he’s the only person in the room. Victor can’t understand Japanese, but that doesn’t matter–what matters is the warmth of Yuuri’s body, the sparkle of his eyes, and the earnestly fond tone he speaks with. Victor’s heart is beating out of his chest and he can’t imagine this moment getting better until-

Be my coach, Victor!

Victor’s face flushes with a little gasp and he can’t find it in himself to refuse the request or the next dance they share together. 

As Victor laughs spins and smiles like he hasn’t since child, looking at Yuuri all the while, he can feel it in his chest. 

A prince. A prince is with him!

And oh, when Yuuri dips him low, the lights above framing his face and hair like a halo, Victor knows that his prince has finally come for him. 

You thought you’d never fall in love even though you wanted to.
It just wasn’t in the cards, there was no one right for you.
Your mind was too complex, your personality severe.
No one could relate and soulmates weren’t real.
That’s why it took so long to let that boy inside your head.
And why you felt so vulnerable after everything you said.
But when you told him that you loved him, he said he loved you more.
And for the first time in your life, you had no regrets at all.
You still can’t comprehend how that boy loves you relentlessly every single day.
But you finally understand how hearing someone’s voice can make everything okay.
He taught you what it means to have a person feel like home.
And that being with someone else means you don’t have to be alone.
He knows when to hold you close and he knows not to let go.
He says you mean the world to him but you already know.
He always wipes your tears but he hates it when you cry.
He forgives you when you hurt him because he knows you didn’t try.
You don’t know how you got him and you really don’t know why.
But when he tucks you into bed, you see your future in his eyes.
They hurt, you know,
All the things that you say–
You make people feel love,
Then you drive them away.
—  poeticallyordinary

Runner up. Second best. How do I know if I’m an upgrade or settlement? Everything I do, she did too, everything I say, she said her way. When you tell me you love me, do you mean like you loved her? Should that question even be past tense, or future?

That’s the thing about someone’s first love, it’s the baseline, the mark after which every love comes. How am I to know if you see her in me? Am I what you want, or is she what you need? I am trying so hard to fill in her shoes, to strut her stilettos, and shuffle her boots. Trying to curl my toes just so, in a way that tells you, “my heart’s yours, you know”.

But I worry that my feet are too big or too small. And they stretch out the hole or don’t fill it at all. I worry I can’t erase the space in your brain, the space that’s engraved with her heart and her face. And I worry and worry and love you to death, because coming in second is so hard to get. There is so much potential and so much to lose, because all I want to is to fill in her shoes.

— 

Second love // Mt

Prompt: anonymous

If you can’t fix me,
Can we just pretend
 
That I was never broken.
That there was nothing here
To mend.
—  poeticallyordinary

To all the females who watched Wonder Woman,

If you came home feeling empowered
Or saw her bold bravery and felt like a coward
Know that courage is not only meant for battlefields
Not all wars are fought with swords and shields
Warriors are not made of just skin and bones
They are made of belief; as strong as metal and stones
We’re women waging wars to show our worth
To oppressors with whom we share the same earth
It doesn’t take years of training to stand up for our rights
We’re as capable as she is, to win this fight
She represents the power and grace within us all
To show that even amongst men, we can stand strong and tall

My friends always say
That all wounds are the same.
 
That they heal, that they fade,
They might just cause a little pain.
  
But what happens when the wound
Isn’t a scratch or a bruise?
 
When your heart is the object
That’s beaten and blue?
   
My limbs are all tired,
My body is numb,
 
But my heart is the part of me
Coming undone.
   
I’m sick and I’m tired
Of this tedious game
  
That has left me alone
With my demons again.
—  poeticallyordinary