wrenchers headcanons

oneyardatatime  asked:

Wrench would love to have a pet, and he keeps bugging Numbers with his half-thought-out suggestions about how they could work and travel and still manage to look after an animal. As a joke, Numbers buys him a Tamagotchi and says he probably couldn't even look after that - but it backfires, because instead of ignoring it or giving up after a week or so, Wrench gets goddamn obsessed with the stupid little thing.

(cont) He gives it a name, he checks it obsessively, and he gets very annoyed with Numbers if it beeps and Numbers doesn’t let him know. It lives a whole year before finally expiring, and Wrench holds a little funeral for it in their back yard. Numbers has to admit that it was quite an achievement looking after it that long. Though it still doesn’t mean that they can have a dog.

Oh my god, precious babies. Wrench threatens to bring home cats and dogs, and Numbers swears that he sees Wrench crying after the Tamagotchi debacle, but he still won’t allow them to have a living animal.

Wrench sketches pictures of dogs and cats, even the occasional hamster or bird in a notebook that he leaves on the kitchen table until Numbers finally gives in and lets him get a fish. Wrench isn’t satisfied, but he supposes it’s better than nothing.

I was thinking about Wrenchers this morning and what if their car broke down and Numbers was fixing it and needed a wrench so he signed the word for wrench and Mr. Wrench was just like “What?” and numbers was like “Wrench.” and he’s just like “What?” and Numbers signs “WRENCH” and Wrench is just like “WHAT” and basically a Who’s On First situation unfolds where they angrily sign back and forth before numbers grabs the wrench from the front seat and hits him on the arm with it

trumpetandtrombone  asked:

Wrench has a habit of leaving cabinet doors open all over their kitchen and Numbers keeps smacking into them.

“That darn Wrench… Always leaving those freaking cabinet doors open.” Numbers grumbles under his breath as he rubs his forehead from smacking into another cabinet door. His forehead is starting to turn red. This is the fourth time he’s smacked into it today. How hard is it to just close the door the same way you opened it? 

Wrench is watching some history documentary, with a sandwich and plate in hand and his feet on the table. Numbers furrows his eyebrows in annoyance. He HATES it when Wrench puts his feet on the table. He’s reminded him a copious amount of times not to do it but, the same thing with the cabinet doors, Wrench just never remembers. Numbers was ready to complain to Wrench about the cabinet doors and about his feet on the table when Wrench notices Numbers approaching and looks up. 

Wrench points at Number’s forehead “Why is your forehead so red?” 

“Well let me tell you why. You keep leaving those damn cabinet doors wide open and I keep smacking into them! Is it so hard to just close them afterwards?? And get your feet off the table!" 

Wrench bursts out laughing and this gets Numbers even more angry. 

This isn’t funny!!”

Numbers just gives Wrench the angriest and most serious look. Wrench manages to calm himself down after a few minutes.

Sorry, I just remembered seeing you smacking into the cabinet door this morning and your reaction was priceless.” Wrench tries to keep his composure despite the large grin spreading across his face. 

Numbers glares at Wrench, unamused. Wrench smirks, grabs Number’s collar and pulls him down to kiss his forehead. Numbers is surprised with the sudden grab and found his anger faltering away and gives Wrench a kiss. 

———————————————————————————-

This is just adorable and I found it hilarious how Numbers would smack into them every time. :3 

smoodeeez  asked:

Numbers likes his modern-classic style, and his wardrobe hasn't changed dramatically in the past decade. But every year, Numbers adopts a new fashion trend (in the canonverse it was the sunglasses). It always goes the same way- Numbers sees a new trend in GQ and tells Wrench he's going into town to buy it. Wrench protests- "You're gonna spend 400 dollars on some stupid trend?" But once Numbers tries it on, Wrench changes his mind and decides that everyone looks bad wearing it, except Numbers.

Wrench really doesn’t care about fashion and he refuses to change his wardrobe. But whenever he sees Numbers’ new little fashion detail he gets excited and wonders if he should do something too, but let’s face it, he gets back into his faded Broncos shirt and they watch movies together.

smoodeeez  asked:

Numbers has perfected the art of lying and he lies about insignificant little things all day long. Usually people believe him but occasionally someone will call him out on a lie. One of his biggest fears is that one day he'll have big, important news to tell, and no one will believe him. Luckily though Wrench can always seem to tell when Numbers is lying, and Wrench knows to trust Numbers when he says that he's really serious about something.

Numbers lies – a lot. Mostly about things that don’t even matter, like this one time one of the higher up’s at the syndicate fancied he was being tailed, so he drug Numbers around with him for a few days as his body guard. At one point they ended up at the tackle shop, picking out new fishing gear, and Numbers told him an elaborate tale about how this one time his little brother went out fishing with friends, ended up falling into the lake, and wrestled an anaconda. Nearly died. Brought the thing home. Last he heard, Dad still had it. Mounted on the wall. None of his was true. He didn’t have a little brother. He had an older sister. And they lived nowhere near a lake. And even if they did, his folks would never have let him near it.

The higher up had been impressed, though slightly incredulous. “Aren’t anacondas from like Bosnia or something?” They are not, but Numbers, flipping casually through a magazine called ‘The Perfect Cast’, said simply, “Ya know those escaped alligators in Florida?” “Ya?” “It’s like that. Someone thinks it’s funny to keep an anaconda, but when it’s suddenly as big as your house, well…” “Oh. Well that makes sense.” It doesn’t, but Numbers rolls with it. What an idiot.

He doesn’t really mean to lie like this; he didn’t set out in life to become a convincing liar. But overprotective parents and a strict upbringing often breed quality liars. By the age of 17, Numbers could convince even his eagle-eyed grandmother that he was neither drunk, nor high, and no, that was not lipstick up near his eyes, no, it was not him who Auntie had seen making out with that Danny boy down the street, that was obviously some other bearded teenage boy, no, Granny, he had been tutoring and high school track team all day. Yes, it was 3am. Yes, it was July. That only goes to show just how DUMB the track team is.

But it’s different at home. For example, tonight Numbers has been sent to the grocery store for a few things. He flirts with the cashier a little, something which has been going on now for quite some time. She thinks his name is Erik, and that he’s on leave from the military. Nevermind that a full beard is not strictly regulation. He has wooed her with tales of heroism during his many deployments, and his many awards for valor that he has turned down because he is oh so humble. She has just given him her phone number. He will never call her and he will never talk to her again.

When he gets home, he passes the groceries to Wrench, who is sautéing something which smells nearly acceptable. He leans back against the counter and regales Wrench with the tale of the absolutely enormous buck, really you should have seen the thing, rack out to here, that he had nearly run into on the way home. Thank god he didn’t, might’ve broken the eggs. Wrench just looks at him, smiling softly, one eyebrow raised. “Bull shit.” Numbers glares before succumbing to laughter. Old habits die hard, and Wrench knows him too well. Maybe someday he’ll break his habit. At least with Wrench. Or maybe not. Who cares, really?

mr. wrench has a cold one day so he sits in bed like the big sulky bear he is and refuses to get out or take his fringe jacket off (because it’s so warm and mr. numbers got it for him) and mr. numbers just sighs because he has thinks to do, but when mr. wrench pats the spot next to him, mr. numbers can’t resist and curls up next to him in his jacket (so small) and holds him tight and gives him kisses all over his face until he’s all better (◡‿◡✿)

Numbers is singing one of his songs to Wrench and Wrench would place his hand around his throat or on his chest to feel the vibrations. 

Sometimes Numbers would get very emotional with his singing and his voice would range from being very fierce to gentle and Wrench would feel every change in pitch.  Wrench feels very special that he’s one of the only people who is able to see Numbers in such a vulnerable state.

boomboxgod  asked:

After their first job together, they went to a bar and got to know eachother a little. When they were both a little tipsy, Numbers wrote the most cheesy pick up line imaginable on a peice of paper. May or have not giggled like school girls.

oh my oh m oh my hahjodapdp this is so cute!! they realized that they had a thing for each other at that bar, !! and mr. numbers must have written the cutest babiest thing… but i can’t think of what it would be?? but giggles oahdoi the best thing.

and then they’d go home and cuddle and kiss uwu the start of their relationship aw

anonymous asked:

In no way do I mean to intrude on your conversation, but now all I can picture is Wrench with a giant plate of chicken nuggets. And they'd be the dinosaur shaped ones, because he whined until Numbers bought them the last time they were at the store.

Intrude as much as you want because this is an amazing addition.

I often think of Wrench eating dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. Numbers thinks it’s super childish, but he secretly thinks it’s cute.

rainbow-femme  asked:

Might have to split it into two asks. You know how in the movie the one hitman ends up killing the other one so he can have the money for himself? Well what if their first assignment together they both intended to just do this one job, kill the other, and run off with the money. But halfway through they're both like "Shit, this guy's actually kinda cool." and they start having doubts over whether they actually want to kill the other. When they finish the job, the both turn around and-

And they pull a gun on each other and get startled cause they didn’t expect the other to have the same idea, so they both burst out laughing and that’s how they knew they wanted to officially be partners and stick with the job, cause they had worked so well together. And every once in a while one of them brings it up and they laugh about it again.

I’m in love with this headcanon and think it needs to be written out.

Imagine Numbers, with all of his neuroses and anxieties, has trained himself to sleep with the lights on and when he and Wrench start sharing a hotel room (aka when they get paired together) Numbers has issues sleeping with the lights off but he’s too hard headed to explain to Wrench why so he just lets Wrench turns the lights off and he cannot fall asleep for the life of him. 

Then one night when they accidentally end up in a room with one king bed Numbers discovers that he can sleep okay, even with the lights off, if he’s next to Wrench. Hijinx ensue in order for Numbers to get close to Wrench at night. Purposefully getting rooms with one bed and the like.

smoodeeez  asked:

I think Numbers would want to make Wrench feel better, and he would do little things like get Wrench's coffee for him and offer to drive more (wrench would always turn down numbers' offers to drive- driving helps clear his head) but on the whole, Numbers isn't good with sad people and he would have no idea how to let Wrench know that everything was okay. One morning, Numbers told Wrench that he was going to the free breakfast in the motel lobby. After eating, Numbers brought back (cont)

an assortment of breakfast items to take with them in the car, including a cup of coffee for Wrench. When he opened the door to their motel room, he found Wrench sitting on his bed with his head buried in his hands, crying. Numbers put down the food and approached him slowly, making sure not to startle him. Wrench’s eyes widened when he noticed Numbers’ feet on the ground in front of him, and he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and stood up. Numbers looked up at Wrench- he was still visibly upset. His eyes were red and wet, and his mouth was trying desperately to keep the rest of his face from crying again. Numbers lifted a hand and placed it on Wrench’s shoulder. Wrench was shocked- he thought that Numbers would either pretend that he never saw Wrench crying, or that he would drive straight back to Fargo and ask for a new partner. But Numbers was looking up at him with such a look of concern on his face, like he actually /cared/ about Wrench’s feelings. Still trying his hardest to keep from crying, Wrench signed, “my mom died. I don’t have anyone.” Without thinking, Numbers pulled Wrench in for a hug. Numbers knew Wrench couldn’t hear him, so replied into his shoulder, “you have me.”

Ouch my heart.

smoodeeez  asked:

I have this mental image of suburban, non- (or pre-) criminal Numbers. He gets up at the same time every day to go to a job he hates to pay for a house he doesn't really call home. He's not married because he hasn't been able to find someone who's compatible with his cynical outlook on life. And there are sticky notes all around his house- on his bathroom mirror, coffee pot, briefcase, coat rack, steering wheel, and all over his desk at work. They all read: "Do not kill anyone today."

Oh my god. Suburban AU where this is Numbers and Wrench lives next door. Wrench is weirdly perky and leaves notes for Numbers all the time just saying hello and inviting him over for dinner, but Numbers just hates everything and everyone especially his damn neighbor.

Until he accidentally locks himself out of his house and has to go ask Wrench to use his phone. Wrench lets him in, of course, and they end up talking quite a bit because Wrench doesn’t seem to be in his normally perky mood and they actually hit if off quite well.

anonymous asked:

Wrench & Numbers always assume that no one knows ASL so when they're out they say whatever they think/feel, but one time while they're saying something particularly embarrassing/crude/etc, Numbers hears a woman near them gasp & realizes she knows ASL

Oh my gosh, yes. I can imagine so many different things happening. Like, it could be a situation where they’re talking about nasty stuff and she’s offended, or Wrench and Numbers are being ridiculously adorable and she thinks it’s the cutest thing she’s ever seen, or she sees them talking about their next hit and goes to call the police.