wreck the floors

Doofenshmirtz

Every time I watch the show and laugh about Doof and his giant nerd face and how much I adore him and god he’s such a loser and he just fails at everything… I suddenly remember all the ridiculously tragic backstories all at once and just lose it

he’s a double amputee who had his arm trapped under a boulder and nobody bothered to tell him he wasn’t like a starfish and it wouldn’t grow back, he was abandoned by his family multiple times and raised by wild ocelots, his parents missed like all his fucking birthdays including his birth, his only friend was a balloon that HE LOST and oh yeah he had to stay outside every night IN COLD EASTERN GERMANY WEATHER FOR YEARS AND NOT MOVE OR ELSE HE WOULD GET YELLED AT AND HE WAS LITERALLY NEVER ALLOWED TO MOVE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

IN EASTERN GERMANY

ALL YEAR LONG

INCLUDING THE WINTER

EDIT: AND LIKE, HIS DAD NAMED HIS DOG ’ONLY SON’ BECAUSE HIS PARENTS ARE FUCKING AWFUL LIKE OBJECTIVELY THE WORST.

HOW IS DOOF NOT A MENTALLY BROKEN WRECK SOBBING ON THE FLOOR JESUS GIVE THIS MAN A MEDAL HE IS A FUCKING SURVIVOR.

This is a very important image
Reiji as we know is a neat, clean freak. And they are in a “dire situation” (though they might never admit that because it would be a human thing to do) and when in situations like that even the neatest of people get messy
Reiji must’ve been searching for a book to explain how to help Yui, wrecking his bookshelf and his floor in the process
But I don’t understand why because she was never shown making any real “bonds” with any of them (maybe Ayato, but even then, barely any)
And it’s not like he cares for her in an “ownership” way
In fact he’s quite indifferent about her and I feel like the 0 time of them building a relationship is enough proof of that

anonymous asked:

fuck vendors! they leave their Tera's everywhere, never stock like they should, over order shit we don't need and NOT THE SHIT WE DO, don't take their empty cases like they're supposed to, leave my cooler a WRECK with glass on the floor and on the tops of shelves (unsafe!), and a HUGE list of other things. fuck. you. and a big ass shout out to the vendors that actually do their damn jobs! jfc WE'VE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT SO. STOP. DOING THAT. OMG

The Signs as Florence + The Machine Lyrics

Aries: “Leave all your love and your longing behind. You can’t carry it with you if you want to survive.” - The Dog Days Are Over

Taurus: “This will be my last confession. I love you never felt like any blessing. Whispering like it’s a secret only to condemn the one who hears it with a heavy heart.” - Heavy In Your Arms

Gemini: “The looking glass, so shiny and new. How quickly the glamour fades. I start spinning, slipping out of time. Was that the wrong pill to take?” - Rabbit Heart

Cancer: “Darling heart, I loved you from the start. But you’ll never know what a fool I’ve been. Darling heart, I loved you from the start. But that’s no excuse for the state I’m in.” - Hardest of Hearts

Leo: “Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers. Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters. A man who’s pure of heart and says his prayers by night may still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright.” - Howl

Virgo:  “And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t. So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road and I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope. It’s a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat.” Shake It Out

Libra: “No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone. No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden. No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world” - Blinding

Scorpio: “ You want a revelation, you wanna get it right. But it’s a conversation, I just can’t have tonight.” - No Light, No Light

Sagittarius: “And when we first came here we were cold and we were clear. With no colors in our skin til we let the spectrum in.” - Spectrum

Capricorn: “Gone are the days of begging the days of theft. No more gasping for a breath. The air has filled me head to toe and I can see the ground far below.” - Between Two Lungs

Aquarius: “ Rotting like a wreck on the ocean floor, sinking like a siren that can’t swim anymore. ‘Cause our songs remind me of swimming, but I can’t swim anymore.” - Swimming

Pisces: “And I’ve been taking chances, I’ve been setting myself up for the fall, I’ve been keeping secrets, from my heart and from my soul.” - Lover to Lover

My first Alfie writing. Hope I did his character justice! I went with #21.

Prompt: “I want to go back to before….” W/Alfie Solomons

Warnings: Fluff, Mentions of Rape.

Alfie hadn’t spoken, taken your visits or messages in three weeks. You were an emotional wreck, sitting on the floor by your bed holding a washbasin in your lap as you waited for the morning sickness to pass.


Three weeks ago you had gone into Alfie’s office, the bakery was buzzing that day as it was approaching the Jewish holiday. You were nervous, and frightened, and most of all, fearful that what you were about to tell Alfie would make him never want to see or speak to you again. And you were right. He hadn’t taken any of your messages or pleas to see him in the almost a month. He simply disregarded you.

Keep reading

karatam  asked:

Danny's mother visiting campus and she really wants to meet her daughter's girlfriends. Laura is charming and dorky and everything Mrs Lawrence was expecting. Carmilla however kind of skulked in the background, clearly uncomfortable with all the attention. So Mrs Lawrence sends Danny and Laura out to get pizza and sits quietly next to Carmilla. "I heard that you sometimes had a hard time at home." Carmilla just blinks in surprise. "You don't have to even tell me anything, but just know that

I can be there for you if you need it.“ And it really shouldn’t mean so much (I mean, Carmilla is hundreds of years older than this woman), but this is Danny’s mother, looking at her with a kind of maternal warmth that Carmilla hasn’t felt in over 300 years and she suddenly has to suppress the urge to cry. So she just nods and almost smiles and they sit in comfortable silence until the two girls come back, full of sunshine and happiness Later that night, if Danny notices that Carmilla snuggles into her side more than usual, she doesn’t mention it.

iM FINE???

((that’s a lie im wrecked on the floor just leave me)) 

ajericano  asked:

HP: Prisoner of Azkaban, HP: Order of the Phoenix, HP: Half-Blood Prince

OH MY

Burn Donate to a used book store: Half-Blood Prince, I suppose. If I have to give up something in this series that was my childhood, it’s Dumbledore putting on his Wise-Old-Wizard’s-Cap and setting up Harry for death, and the adolescent high-spirited fumblings of kids in spiteful teenage love. 

Read: Prisoner of Azkaban

Rewrite: Order of the Phoenix is my unabashed favorite of the Potter books. I can’t stand Harry and his ALL CAPS ANGST for most of it, but Dumbledore’s Army is my patronus, what can I say. They are my happy thought. 

So, if I was to rewrite it, I’d want more

More Fred and George being mentors in mischief, in creativity, and in kindness.

More of Ginny and Luna’s blooming friendship. More of Ginny as a steady, smirking shock to Harry, to the reader, and to everyone inbetween— the last time we saw much of her, Ginny was a pale and weeping wreck on the Chamber floor. Now she’s flinging Bat Bogey Hexes and laughing at boys over Butterbeer.

Ginny names Dumbledore’s Army for the Ministry’s greatest fear, because she knows about fear, this girl with her fire hair and iron bones. I don’t want Harry gaping at her beauty. I want him gaping at her strength.

More Hermione befriending Ginny, these two tough and underestimated young women, their violence and their warmth, their jealousies and their anxieties and their generosities. More Hermione learning to see that Luna’s intelligence, just because it doesn’t run in straight lines or careful notes, is just as bright and glorious as her own. 

(I love the Golden Trio, I do, but I want this one, too: these three girls and their varied strengths, the way they spend so much time underestimating each other and themselves, and then learn better. It makes them better, all of them, to build this respect and camaraderie between them). 

More of Neville refusing to back down. More of this gawky boy with his learning disabilities and clumsy fingers, the way he pulls himself, handhold by shaky handhold, into a place where he can stand his own against Death Eaters by the end of the book. 

More Luna. Always

More of Marietta Edgecombe, Cho Chang’s (eventually traitorous) friend. More of her uncertainty, her letters from home about how the Ministry is getting worse and worse. More of how Marietta was living in this new age of fear, not just in these school hallways, but in her sisters’ letters about Mom crying, her mother’s tense, tightly-cheerful Floo messages. When Umbrage called Marietta into her office that last time, the toad used her mother’s name and giggled. More of the way Marietta wasn’t sleeping through the nights, the way she was torn between loyalty to her schoolfriends and loyalty to her family. More of how her choice was not petty—it was not brave, but it was not petty. It was a sixteen year old girl put up against selfish people with power. 

Less of Harry angsting, and more of Harry mentoring: telling people off for teasing Luna, and feeling an odd, bursting pride weeks later when Harry sees those old bullies jumping furiously to her defense when some civilian in the Hogwarts hallways makes fun of Luna’s latest ornament.

More of Harry mentoring: having to learn how to deal with other people’s egos, with having to trust people, having to learn about strengths other than his own.

More of Harry teaching the Creevy brothers about battle magic, but somehow learning photography tricks from them, and slowly slowly falling into a deep respect for these two boys who are always on the wrong side of the bullies, who manage to stay bright, stay awed, stay loyal to each other in a world that sometimes hates them for who they are; more of the Creevy brothers’ hero-worship of the Boy Who Lived fading into something quieter and more real as they get to know this stubborn, rash fool who chooses again and again to save lives at the expense of his. 

More of Ginny taking Harry aside and saying you have to trust somebody, you stupid boy. You have to talk to somebody. You’re going to explode, all that stuff inside you, if you don’t. And don’t you even try to tell me I can’t understand what you’re going through. 

…who do you talk to?

Ginny scoffs. Luna, of course. 

More Ron the chessmaster. More focus on the reasons this redhead boy deserves (and he does deserve) to be the final lynchpin in our Golden Trio. The boy’s a master strategist, and we’re building an army, after all.

More Slytherins in the DA: Muggleborns whose drive, ambition, and loyalty gave them the option of Slytherin, and whose stubborn refusal to let this bigoted world deny any part of themselves actually put them in the House. Non-Muggleborns, too, snakes who shed skin and shed skin but always stay the same at their core, who love their friends and hate their enemies, who just want to open bakeries and become Aurors and fall in love. These are the ones who set up complex hexes in the Slytherin common room to make it so that every time someone says a slur, the word explodes in their mouth. 

More Ravenclaws in the DA (smarts and focus, and smarts and distractability; thoughtfulness and enthusiasm), more Hufflepuffs (hard work and loyal hearts, stubborn, stubborn souls, as steady and as surprising as the castle itself), yes, but give me some Slytherins dear wizard god

(ask box (x), if anyone else wants to play)

Livewire

Summary: Clarke Griffin finds ‘Atlas’ written on her wrist and Bellamy Blake sees flowers bloom on his skin.

Based on this post: Soulmate au where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

@bellamyblakeprotectionsquad2k16 hope you’ll like it! Thanks for motivating me to actually write it. <3

Also on AO3



The first thing Clarke sees is Atlas, written on the inside of her wrist in neat handwriting, black ink that curves around the s and trickles away.

And then it’s Atlas on the inside of her elbow, Atlas on her palms, Atlas wherever she looks, and she wonders who that person must be – that one person who has decided to cover themselves in images of carrying the world on their shoulders.

Who are you, she asks as the world around her starts moving slower. Who are you and what wore you out?

She touches her skin all through the day, pulls her sleeves down possessively because this person is her person. These days, Clarke doesn’t believe in love that lasts forever, but maybe she just needs a spark – maybe she just needs one good, electric thing to set her on fire like a livewire.

In a world full of Mondays, grey umbrellas and coming home without something to fight for, she lets herself believe in the closest thing to magic she’s got. Soulmates.

The ink doesn’t wash away with the clay when she scrubs at her skin after coming home. It stays there, the clusters of Atlas’ all over her hands, so visible that even Raven notices after coming home.

“What’s that?” she asks, nodding towards Clarke as she drops the takeout containers on the counter. Their apartment is small, an artist and a mechanic – the unlikeliest of roommates, and both of them are tired, but. It’s not so bad.

When Clarke doesn’t reply, Raven frowns and takes her hand, brushes her fingertips across the black ink. Raven’s voice is the quietest Clarke’s ever heard when she finally speaks up, gaze still locked on the words. “You’ve got a soulmate.”

It doesn’t feel like that. It feels like magic. Like maybe she’s believed in it hard enough for it to seep through her skin. She never would’ve chosen Atlas, out of all the figures in Greek mythology, but she wonders what sort of a person would.

“I guess I do.”

Keep reading

Haikyuu!! ACNL Headcanons

-          Kuroo is the type who swaps items when his pockets are full, and then never goes back to pick anything up so his town is littered with crap. If he can’t find something he needs? He buys it new. He has like 12 shovels.

-          Bokuto is the type to get impatient and whizz through the intro, so he accidentally ended up with the girl character. She’s fucking flawless, though, and has all of the cutest QR code outfits, and all the nicest accessories and shoes. ACNL makes him happy, so he takes really good care of his town and is friends with all of the animals. Blathers is his favourite, and he donates his items one at a time even if he has full pockets.

-          Kenma is the ACNL champ. He’s caught every fish, he’s dug up every fossil, he has the biggest house upgrade, and full sets of furniture with their matching wallpaper and carpet. His town members love him to death, and his public works projects are placed precisely. He has one of those fancy paths, and no weeds.

-          It’s all about the money for Tsukki – the villagers are a hassle, public works cost money, weeding is tiresome. His character wears shades and his clothes are swag central. He saunters around town getting money from rocks and hoarding it. He’s still on the first house model, because fuck Nook. The only thing he cares about is the Museum, and the only thing he cares about in the Museum are the fossils.

-          Akaashi only plays when Bokuto makes him, so his town is a mess. But it’s fine, because Bokuto always insists on going to Akaashi’s town and picking his weeds. Akaashi sells all the fish and all the fossils and Bokuto gets very frustrated because no they need to go into the Museum.

-          Yamaguchi gives all of his fossils to Tsukki. Apart from the T-Rex stuff. He sells that. As far as Tsukki knows, Yamaguchi is just really unlucky and has never found a T-Rex fossil. He’s minted as fuck.

-          Oikawa is a hoarder. He has all the furniture, and his house is flawless, fully decked and colour co-ordinated. He has co-ordinated outfits, too, and changes his hair colour to match. He’s one of those people who can make awesome designs. His town is covered in fake pattern flower patches, paths, and rivers, and he sells all the flowers that don’t match his towns colour scheme.

-          Iwaizumi doesn’t have the game, but he plays on Oikawa’s. He lets Oikawa design him outfits, and he collects all the bugs, fish, and fossils. If it wasn’t for him, the place would be barren. He’s very careful of Oikawa’s designs, and avoids his flowers so as not to damage.

-          Hanamaki and Matsukawa don’t have the game, either. They have one shared character on Oikawa’s card, because Oikawa wouldn’t let them make one each as he didn’t have any room for a fourth house without it looking ‘ugly’. They called their character Matsuhana, and it is the child they would have if sperm could merge and form a baby. They’re the kind to trap characters behind holes and hit them with nets. They run through Oikawa’s flowers and never replace his paths when they accidentally kick them away.

-          Kageyama played the game religiously after his last match in middle school, because the characters were always really nice to him. He would sit in his room playing it for hours on end, and he saved all the letters they sent him, and would always be right on time for when they came to visit his home. It was his escape. When he joined Karasuno, he stopped playing so much, but he’ll often find himself reaching for his DS instead of doing homework. Once he was playing on the bus to a match, and the rest of the team shared their friendcodes with him – even Tsukki. Team visits to Kageyama’s town became a regular. Kageyama was only mildly irritated that Tsukki would steal his shit.

-          Hinata only cares about making the villagers happy and catching sharks. His town is a wreck. The floors are covered in bright shitty patterns and weeds. Kenma done some serious remedial work when he visited Hinata’s town for the first time.

anonymous asked:

"Genos topping the shit out of Saitima and being so concerned and caring at the same time" But then Saitama takes Genos' face in his hands and looks him right in the eyes and says 'You don't need to hold back. Give it to me.' Lord knows if they went all out they'd wreck the floor and wind up in the basement :y Good thing they live in an abandoned neighborhood so they don't have to worry about volume ;v

Mfw anon is absolutely perf: 

every week to every day

summary: 30. Bartender/Landlord AU - Person A comes in regularly at the same time every week and has a friendly relationship with the bartender (Person B) but then they don’t turn up and Person B gets worried. send me a prompt from this list. requested by bisexual-killian-jones.

word count: ~ 2,900

rating: b badass emma in the beginning

a/n: i’m tired


He owns The Jolly Roger. She is a successful FBI agent situated in New York.

It’s not often his pub ends up as a fight scene by the end of the quiet evenings, a table and chair wrecked, blood splattered across the floor, and an unconscious man facedown while being handcuffed by the most beautiful, strong woman he’s ever seen. Not often does he have the pleasure of spending some time with this believably, incredible blonde while he cleans up and gets her a drink, watching her down and swallow it all within seconds.

“Drinking on the job, love?

"One - not your love.” She slams her glass down, needing a refill. “Two - today’s job is over.”

Ah, she’s a bloody spitfire, stubborn, demanding, straightforward as anyone can ever be. He takes her empty glass, refilling it with the same tequila.

“Took the team and I an entire week to track this asshole down for his drug trafficking, I’m in due for some drinks,” she mutters her reasoning, drinking the tequila the moment he hands her the glass, fingers barely ghosting. When he tells her to slow down, she merely grimaces. “Look, I’m tired, I just want my drink.”

“As I own this place, I’d say I have a fair ability at kicking you out since it’s past closing hours now.”

“And I can kick your ass.”

Quite unhappy at the moment, he can tell. And yet, he can’t help but tease her, to play with her fire so she’ll burn even brighter with the risk of him hurting himself. “No doubt - is than an offer, darling?” he asks, using a cloth to wipe out used glasses and tumblers.

Keep reading

Wings.

A/N- I DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE SMUT IM SORRY! someone teach me? omg that sounds so bad… pls ignore me.

*DING* 

You entered the convenience store careful of your steps with your angel blade in one hand and holy water in the other. You first checked behind the cashier’s desk, making sure no one was lurking behind there, waiting to attack you. Once you trusted your instinct you ran to the salt section, dodging the fallen and wrecked items on the floor. You placed your blade on the counter as you frantically opened your duffel bag shoving containers of salt in them. You kept looking around you, making sure not a single demon would jump out on you.

Your buddy Rufus called you in need of help, saying the town was flooded by demons but so far you saw nothing. A few smashed cars, broken pieces of glass but nothing that screamed APOCALYPSE. A couple of weeks ago, apparently some idiots let Lucifer out of his cage and now he was throwing some hissyfit. You could understand why though, if  loving your dad too much apparently makes you the Devil then you too would go on a rage fit. You placed the last container in your bag until you heard a slightly inaudible flutter of wings.

“You know stealing is bad” You grabbed your blade, turning around to face anyone or anything. As soon as the mysterious figure came to view your breathe hitched in your throat, creating a slight gasp. The person tilted their head towards you, confused to why you were so astonished by his presence.

You saw the alluring, feather based wings dipped behind his physique. To say it was beautiful was an understatement, the pitch whiteness deeming it pure along with the slight hint of gold made your heart flutter. 

You noticed the captivating stranger observe you and for a while you both stayed quiet until another loud ding was heard. You ducked behind the shelves, unmoved of the unknown person behind you, there was something familiar about him. Whether it was the purity emitting from him or the comfort he seemed to provide.

You slightly looked up to see 4 demons enter the store, you took your blade until an ice cold hand touched your warm shoulder. You shivered in pleasure as you turned to see his face right in front of yours. He shook his head from left to right, making you stay frozen in your spot. In normal circumstances you’d retaliate though his piercing ice blue eyes mesmerize you. He stood up and fearlessly walked towards the nearing demons.

“I knew I smelt abortions of the earth” You saw his wings extend, towering over the demons. You saw a demon throw a knife at his wing cutting the tip in the process. Not only did this anger you but you wanted to jump in front of the demon, protecting the this creature you met minutes ago.

“Shut your eyes, Y/N” You were startled by your name rolling off his tongue effortlessly. It felt so right. You obeyed his command and you felt a cold gush of wind accompanied by a bright white light. Your eyes slowly fluttered open afraid of what happened and what’s to come. You saw 4 dead demons with their eyes burned right out of their skulls. You know you should be frightened since you didn’t know who he was… or what he was but you were thankful and unworried.

You saw him standing there, staring at you with his damaged wing. You grabbed a cloth from one of the isles and ran to his stiff being. You stared into his eyes while you reached his wing, he thought you were grabbing something else but when he felt you hold onto his wing he was stunned.

“Y-you can see them?” He slightly panted, not breaking your strong stare.

“Am I not suppose to? how did you know my name by the way?” You whispered, slightly afraid of breaking the comfortable silence. You carefully caressed his wing and his eyes closed in what seemed to be pleasure. You wrapped the tip of his wing in the cloth, making sure you were careful.

“No… I mean yes. tell me this, Y/N. Do you feel drawn to me?” You stood up, confused by his question.

“What? H-how does that hav- Do you feel connected to me?” You began to walk backwards as he did foreword.

“Do I feel familiar to you?” You kept walking backwards until your back hit the refrigerated section and he was so close you could feel his icy cold breath hitting your warm cheek.

“Because you do to me. Don’t deny it, embrace it. It’ll make whatever I tell you next much easier” He caressed a piece of hair that fell from your face while you gulped loudly.

“What is it?” you breathed out, afraid to raise your voice.

“I’m Lucifer and you’re mine” You know you should feel scared or even crazy but there’s something about him that makes you feel… okay. He makes you feel safe. He makes you feel worryingly normal.

1 year later

“Lucy get down… or up here. Please?” You called out to thin air as you sat in front of a candle lit dinner. You heard the flutter of wings interrupting the quietness and a slight surprised gasp along with it. You straightened out your dress with a smile and you turned around seeing your boyfriend wearing a pleasantly shocked gaze.

“You did this?” he breathed out with a slight tear in your eyes. You knew from the start Lucifer was the outsider of his family but to you, he was the stars, the moons and the galaxy.

“Of course I did” You hugged him as you lightly kissed his lips. He unravelled his wings, wrapping you in them, just like you love it.

“No one’s ever done this for me” You two pulled apart and you took his hand, leading him to the chair opposite yours.

“Yeah well you only do get one soulmate” You kissed the top of his head, noticing he was struggling with his emotions. You’ve noticed he could only be his true self around you, in Hell he has to maintain his frightful persona which was tiresome at times.

“Happy anniversary, my love.”

10 months later

“Y/N if you are out of that bed so help me dad I will tickle your pregnant feet till you pee” You stopped munching on the cheesecake, gently placing it back into the fridge. The illuminating yellow light faded as you gently closed the door, hoping Lucifer wouldn’t find you. As you tip toed to your room there was a loud snap and the lights suddenly turned on. Frozen in your spot you turned to see your displeased yet amused boyfriend.

“What on hell are you doing, my love? You should be asleep” He walked over to you, placing your hands around his neck.

“I was hungry and I didn’t want to wake you” He scoffed but awed at your innocent tone.

“Okay one, I am the Devil. If you wanted, what is this?” he wiped the crumbs from your cheek placing it in his mouth tasting the leftover cake. “cheesecake? i would’ve bought you the best cheesecake store in the entire world. and two, baby I don’t sleep. I was just closing my eyes.”

“Well your snoring didn’t say that” You poked his stomach and he chuckled heartily, making your little bundle of joy jump in your stomach. You were shocked by the sudden movement but you giggled at the odd sensation. Lucifer placed his hand on your stomach and his forehead gently rested on yours.

“4 more months, little guy and I can finally show you the world and beyond.” He kissed your stomach leaving a slight tingle behind.

“What if it’s a girl?” You questioned, your eyes still on your enlarged stomach.

“Then I’ll give her the sun and moon.” You awed at his soft side which he simply rolled his eyes at. He turned around leading you back to your bedroom. You gently laid on your soft bed as he kissed your temple, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

“4 more months”

4 and a half months later

“Push Miss Y/L/N, I need you to push” Your hand grasped onto the railings of the hospital bed as the other squished your partner’s hand. Thank god Lucifer was inhumane otherwise you would’ve broken his wrist by your uncomfort.

“I can see the head. Ma’am I need you to push” You cried out in pain, shaking your damp head left to right. Unwilling to continue you sighed out loud which came out as a croak.

“I can’t.. Oh god this hurts too much” You screamed as you forced out another burning push. You felt a surge of energy go through your body and suddenly you felt the pain reduce, bit by bit. You were confused at your slight comfort and you saw your boyfriend cringe in pain.

“L-lucy what a-are y-you doing?” You panted but he kept on reducing your pain, you took your hand away from his and you saw the moment of relief on his face.

“C’mon babe, you can do this. Give me your hand, we need our baby girl or boy in this world and I can’t let you do this alone.” He took your hand once more before you inhaled deeply, releasing an extremely large push. You thought your head was going to implode due to the immense pressure occurring but your body didn’t disappoint you. You heard a slight cry, then you heard another and another. You dropped your head on the pillow, drenching it with your sweat.

“Congratulations, It’s a girl.” You chuckled out loud as you lifted your head to see your baby being wrapped into a pink bundle. You saw Lucifer slowly get up, suddenly aware of his steps. He took the child into his hands and he released a few tears of joy.

“She look’s exactly like her mother, beautiful and calm” You wiped the tears pooling in your eyes as you extended your arms. You took your baby into your hands, wrapping your arms around her, careful of her frame. You observed her wrinkled red body as she flailed her arms, moving them side to side. She took one of your thumbs and you looked up to your heart warmed boyfriend.

“We did well Lucy, we did well.”

anonymous asked:

I hope you don't mind me asking, but what makes you ship Jaime/Brienne?

Oh boy. Hold onto your hats, chirruns, and prepare ye for a novel.

First, there’s Jaime. We’re introduced to him in AGOT as basically the embodiment of the slickly handsome and charming asshole antagonist. He’s almost stereotypically villainous against the Starks, positioned as the heroes and the center of the story: it’s implied that he and Cersei plotted to kill Jon Arryn to cover up their incestuous affair, he starts brawls with Ned in the street, he pushes eight-year-old children out of windows. Just give him a few puppies to kick and orphans to steal candy from and he’s got your douchebag bases covered. Plus, one of the first things we learn about him is that he killed the old king. GRRM doesn’t waste time sitting down and giving us a detailed backstory of Robert’s Rebellion and exactly how shithouse-rat crazy Aerys was. We only learn it in bits and pieces through highly subjective narrators. Hence, as we don’t realize just yet the depths of the fantasy universe in which we’ve entered, we assume this is operating according to standard rules where the guy who broke his oath and killed the old king must be bad news (as indeed the rest of Westeros reacts to him). “Kingslayer” is attached to Jaime from the instant we hear about him, and that perception colors everything we come to learn about him. And when Ned gets whacked, with the Lannisters clearly responsible for pulling the strings, that solidifies our impression that they’re all rotten to the core, with maybe the exception of Tyrion who we like because he’s witty and cynical and worldly and clearly aware of how horrible and dysfunctional his family is. So far, still on familiar fantasy ground.

Jaime of course gets captured at the end of AGOT and spends most of ACOK offscreen. Here, however, is when we meet Brienne. From the start, she’s not what you expect: she’s not the stereotypical sexy vamp in highly impractical armor (just think of every woman in every comic book ever). She’s a fighting woman who’s NOT “sexy” and NOT indulgently accepted by the people of Westeros; in fact, it’s made clear at every turn that people mock her and judge her behind her back, and she suffers deeply for the choice she’s made to go against the prevailing societal expectation. Furthermore, nor is Brienne the Strong Female Character who has no feelings and is a stone cold badass without remorse (one of the things I hate that they changed about her in the show). She is naive, emotional, idealistic, hates killing, believes in honor and chivalry and true knights; she’s in some ways an older, armor-wearing version of Sansa, which is probably what draws Catelyn to her. She’s in love with Renly, or rather the image of Renly, because he’s what she thinks a knight and a king should be, whereas everyone else around us is expressing the opinion that Renly is basically just an empty suit of pretty armor who likes dressing up and feasts and pretending to be a king. So we know from the start that what Brienne loves is illusory, that she can’t and will never have it. And yet despite this, Brienne never wavers from who and what she is; she’s one of the most morally pure and good characters in the books, and one who truly believes (and suffers for that belief) yet hasn’t lost it entirely.

Then, of course, the Road Trip From Hell. How do I love thee let me count the ways. We get Jaime’s POV for the first time. Learning more about him, we start to feel a kind of twisted pity for everything that he’s done, how he’s blindly and completely followed his heart in wanting to be with Cersei no matter what. He and Brienne bicker endlessly and on more than one occasion actually attempt to kill each other. But then: Jaime loses his sword hand, the embodiment of who he was, and it SHATTERS him. Brienne is literally his only comfort; she’s the one who gets him to live, and he lies to save her from being raped when he doesn’t need to. Then the big reveal: the Harrenhal bathhouse scene. We learn for the first time the depths of Aerys’ depravity and exactly how he killed Rickard and Brandon Stark and that he wanted to do the same thing to the rest of King’s Landing, and we start to realize just how badly Jaime wanted to be a hero, and what a terrible position he was in. The lens of “Kingslayer” in which we’ve seen and judged everything about him begins to alter, which Brienne notices as well. At the same time, the derogatory “wench” he’s used for her begins to alter its content. He has NEVER told anyone this story before, remember, and yet he tells her. He pops a damn boner in the bath. He reluctantly leaves her behind in Harrenhal and then dreams about her (naked, I might add) and just about goes crazy getting back. Whereupon Jaime Lannister, Mr. I-Only-Love-Cersei-And-Fighting jumps his crippled ass into a fucking bear pit to save Brienne (and the “you get behind me!”/”no YOU get behind me!” will never not be my favorite).

When they get back to the capital and the aftermath of Joffrey’s death, Jaime protects Brienne from Ser Loras. He constantly notes how beautiful her eyes are, and the fact of how nice she looks in the blue dress they give her. Then he gives her a sword made from Ned Stark’s old one, to go find Sansa and keep her safe. People can quibble over Jaime’s redemption arc or what they think of it or whether it exists all they like, but the fact is that Brienne is changing him. There’s no way in hell Jaime does this before. His relationship with every other Lannister is falling apart. He can’t remember why on earth he wanted to get back here so badly anyway. Cersei keeps him at arm’s length, Tyrion is arrested for murder, he has to confess that he ruined Tyrion’s life on the orders of their father (who’s disowned him) and he’s having to fight to serve on the Kingsguard at all. Jaime thinks about how he wanted to be Ser Arthur Dayne (the hero) but turned into the Smiling Knight (the villain) instead. He’s not the asshole antagonist anymore.

Meanwhile, Brienne is questing away for Sansa, and thinking about Jaime every other damn minute, in extremely romantic/sexual ways (Renly turns into Jaime in her dream, she remembers how Jaime looks naked, she wants him to come back to her). In short, she’s changing the love of the illusion of Renly, the dream of the perfect man, into love of the real and deeply flawed man that is Jaime. He, in turn, is punching Red Ronnet Connington in the mouth for insulting her and also thinking about her every TWO damn minutes, just for variety. Brienne has become the embodiment of everything he still wants to be. And yes, I know he has a line about throwing Edmure’s infant son over the walls in a trebuchet and this is somehow proof that he’s still the worst evar!!!!! First, obviously it was a douchebag thing to say. The day Jaime does not have a douchy/sardonic comment to make, we should all keel the fuck over and die because the Others will have murdered everyone. But he’s also trying to threaten/scare Edmure into surrendering without more fighting and more bloodshed, which is what gets conveniently overlooked. When he meets Jeyne Westerling, Robb’s widow, and her conniving mother, he tells her flatly that Jeyne, with her love for Robb and her devotion to his memory, is worth ten of Sybel. With that and by sending Brienne after Sansa, Jaime is in his own way genuinely honoring the oath he made to Catelyn Stark, for the first time in his life. Of course he’s not going to be Shiny Perfect Hero about it. That’s not who he is. But he’s still trying, while remaining a sarcastic asshole with a broken heart, and I’m a huge, HUGE sucker for that character. So yeah.

As you really realize the depths to which Jaime is a deconstructed white knight, and Brienne a deconstructed “warrior maiden,” and the way in which he functions as the beauty and she as the beast, and yet how they both need each other and teach other things about the world that the other had given up on (for Jaime, Brienne gives him hope and is what he’s clinging to after his world ended; for Brienne, Jaime shows her that the world isn’t a song and helps her grow up from her childish feelings/walls). And no, they’re not a bROTP (although I respect if people choose to see it that way). I hear inklings of a Brienne/Cersei scene written by GRRM himself in an upcoming episode, where Cersei tells Brienne flat out that she knows she’s in love with Jaime. Friends don’t dream of each other naked and get boners in the bath and obsess about the color of each other’s eyes and wonder where they are all the time and jump in front of bears and etc. It didn’t start out as physical attraction, but that’s what makes their bond deeper. Jaime doesn’t see the “freak,” he sees Brienne. Likewise, Brienne doesn’t see the Kingslayer, she sees Jaime. They are the only people in Westeros who loves the other right now. Jaime has no one, neither does Brienne. Their connection is mostly what’s keeping both of them going.

So yeah. I ship them (unto the gates of hell) for all the above reasons and more, and I am well aware that one day they will kill me dead and turn me into a sobbing utter wreck on the floor (for very good or very bad reasons, as I’m trying to control my awful feeling that Jaime won’t survive the series). I both want that day to come and dread it with all my heart. Basically, I’ll die if Jaime does, but I think they’re going to have an adventure together after escaping the Brotherhood (because that’s not where either of their stories will end) and I will also die then as well.

Jesus Christ I’m not strong enough for this otp.