"No! You can't eat me!"

So running the Caves of Chaos AD&D campaign. We have seven players, five of which are a mixture of elves and half-elves, then a human ranger and a halfling thief. The DM has just decided that seeing as how we can’t hold to one alignment, or well most of the party can’t, that our alignments will be in constant flux depending on our most recent actions. Our Wizard is determined to be Chaotic Evil. She had just killed another player’s character, who instead of introducing himself, decided it’d be a great idea to creepily follow.

Wizard: I cut up the body and get ready to eat it.
DM: Wait what? Nonono don’t do that
Wozard(OOC): I am eating him.
Wizard(OOC): I want to be Chaotic Evil.
DM: fine. You eat him. Your alignment is Lawful Good.
Wizard(OOC): What? NO!
DM: well it’s not like your a cannibal now.
Wizard: *turning to one of the other half-/elves* Can I eat you then?
The rest of the group: NO! Eat the thief! He takes all the treasure anyways!
Wizard: *draws on the thief* Well then, its dinner time~
Thief: Think about it. I’m the only halfling here. If you want to be a cannibal, there other elves right there.

The area soon breaks into chaos

BUT GUYS imagine this: Patti LuPone in the Wizarding world!!!!!!

  • Patti LuPone with a second Patti LuPone at the back of her head 
  • Patti LuPone growing larger and stronger with each text she serves
  • Patti LuPone with an english accent
  • a cloned Patti LuPone in every electronics factory who is tasked with taking care of the faulty phones and no one asks her what she does with them and no one wants to know
  • Patti LuPone playing quiddige