By vague definition yeah I cheated. It wasn’t this emotional investment. I didn’t know their names. I don’t even know what one of the guys face looked like. That doesn’t make it better. But I just want you to like think about this more than the way you’re looking at it. I never said hey let’s meet up and fuck ect. It’s why do you do this. Wow I wish I didn’t like this.
Underlying sexual a bit. But not like the way you think. i wasnt emotional invested. i just idk it wasnt real lfie to me they were just an object to me.
Those blogs don’t even exist anymore. But God. Yeah I encouraged these two guys to eat. But I know this doesn’t make it right but hundreds of other people did too at the same time. It wasn’t an intimate conversation everyone else was sayhing the same thing. It was like a niche community on tumblr. But you won’t listen to me explain that. Not that it really matters.
you wont listen to me explain that because im too afriad to say it.
I’m sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have even done this in the beginning. I just don’t know anymore.
If it makes you feel any better all these things that happened a year ago made me what to put a lid on that aspect of my sexuality. Something I never want to act on ergo why I never tried with you.
Idk maybe a part of me was testing it out via annons on tumblr so see if I was really into it and I wasn’t. So there we go. I ducked up. I should have talked to you along time ago. And dived deeper. I was uncomfortable with it and I had the feeling you were. I just had to make sure. And I did it a stupid way whist emotionally and mentally compromised.