I think, for me, the scariest thing about an unrequited crush isn’t just the “oh no what if they don’t like me back” feeling but more so the “what if I never feel like this again with anyone else” feeling. Before I met the person I have a crush on, I was terrified of marriage. It sounded awful and generally not right for me. But then I met someone and whenever I see them I want to get married and I want that house and that white picket fence and kids and a dog <i> so bad </i>. It’s like nostalgia for something that’s never happened. But I’m so worried that even if they don’t ever like me back, that this was it, my one chance to want this, and then I’ll never want it with anyone again.
Warnings:Shit is getting a bit intense.Cursing.A bit of angst again~[No fluff this time,idk what happened]
[First off: WOW! Thank all of you so much! I would never have thought that this would get so much feedback! Thank you guys c: I hope you will enjoy this part! ….wait…Uhm,If you thought this would be a part with Bucky & Reader walking in the rain with their pink umbrella and being happy…All I can say is: Sorry.]
~Sorry for any typos or mistakes~
Every now and then you would ask Bucky if he could still hold the umbrella or if his arm grew tired,but the answer was always the same:
“No,it is still fine-” “Are you sure?” “Yes.”
The two of you were walking for nearly ten minutes now,only exchanging a few words.You knew from the beginning that he wasn´t a really talkative person,so every little smile or word was a small victory for you. Bucky walked a bit fast for your not-so-long legs but you didn´t want to say anything. While you were wondering why he has such long legs,Buckys mind went to worst case scenarios. What if you were just nice to trick him? What if you were a agent,trying to find him. Well if that was the truth,he directly walked into a trap. He glanced at you and thought if you could really be someone who was trying to get him?To find him? Bucky was pretty sure that there are people everywhere,just to finally get him for what he has done. You too? With a sigh he looked at the ground,wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into.
“Hey,Bucky!Look!” Your joyful tone took him back to reality as he turned to you. You were pointing at a small restaurant that was still open. Neon signs hung in the windows,and he could see some people inside. “Let´s get something to eat!I have never gotten something here but it could be nice,who knows.” With a few hurried steps you ran onto the steps and hid from the rain under the little plastic roof. Smiling you waved at Bucky,motioning for him to come also. You would buy him something as a thanks,that was the least you could do…
Bucky stept a bit closer to you,shaking his head. “I don´t want anything..” “Why?You must be hungry,right?I will pay!” Bucky didn´t move an inch,and you groaned “Please?” Your joy didn´t falter and Bucky still didn´t give in.This would go on for hours,so.. “Ok,I will go inside,get something,and you wait here.” “[y/n] I-” “No ´but´,I will go inside now.Just give me the umbrella you look stupid.” Without a word Bucky looked around before stepping onto the dry steps and handing you the now closed umbrella. You nodded and walked inside,trying to think of something to get. As soon as the wooden door closed behind you,Bucky was thinking about walking away.This couldn´t end well.Not with him. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. What did he do? He wasnt just some neighbor from around here that could talk with someone hours on end,without any consequences. He was never that kind of person,well,as far as he knew… As long as he was alone he could just walk a bit faster when he felt watched,hide in shops when being followed,but with you? Untill you two would reach your home,nearly 20 minutes left. Bucky knew,he felt it in the pit of his stomach,someone would use these 20 minutes of slight vulnerability to their advantage.
Just because Bucky wasn´t careful enough.
While Bucky was again lost in his thoughts,stressing himself out,you were waiting for the pizza to be done. Bucky was a weird guy,you´d give him that.But he was a soldier… Maybe that had to do something with his behaviour. Sometimes your eyes would wander to the small TV that stood on a shelf on your left,but the news seemed boring,so you turned away and rather kept on thinking about the guy that waited for you. Which was a good thing,in a way. Because if you would have paid attention you would know that they are looking for a man called “James Buchanan Barnes"
The Winter Soldier.A murderer.An Assassin.
But thank god you were busy playing with the weird pink umbrella in your hands,and the volume of the TV was only on 5.
Bucky saw a man come out of the door,and immediately felt a knot in his stomach when the man stared at him for a second too long.His mind was an endless loop of :
With one last glance,the strange man turned around and walked away.Bucky let out a shaky breath,truly unsure of what to do. He tried to talk some false hope into himself. Maybe he just looked like his weird cousin. Maybe- "Hey!” Bucky felt his heart drop.
You had just paid for the food and reached for the carton,before your eyes went to the window to your right It took you a moment to register what is happening. With a gasp and big eyes you rushed to the door,looking why Bucky was suddenly walking away. You heard someone call after you,but you ignored that voice and walked through the door. In the moment you stepped onto the stairs,a person rushed past you.You could hear them say some words,but couldn´t make out what words exactly. You looked into the direction that person was running of to,only to see Bucky vanish around a corner. Confused you looked after the two men.Should you follow?Try to find him? It isn’t your business,you have known him for nearly 2 hours and shared some food. Who knows what shady business this dude is involved in. Your gut said ´Run after him´,but your head was reasonable and said´Stay and enjoy your pizza´. If you were honest,yes you were a bit worried about your bus stop buddy,but just smile a bit while waving slowly,wishing your weird friend luck.
Turning around you opened the door again and the warm air hugged your body. ´What a night.´ The small bell above the door signaled that you came inside again.The cashier from earlier looked at you and you send him an apologetic smile,to which he just grinned. You grabbed the Pizza and sat down at the table in the far left corner. The small flowers on the table were a nice touch,yes..Maybe you would go eat here more often. With a sigh you opened the carton and grabbed a piece.
As you had long finished the pizza,and were drinking a glass of cold [drink],you heard the bell again,but you didn´t pay any attention to it. Well,that was until you heard someone say: “Uhm,excuse me?” You looked over your shoulder were you saw a woman standing behind you.You raised your eyebrows,wondering what she could want from you.She had blonde short hair,brown eyes and some freckles on her face. “Yes?” “I need you to follow me,please.” “And why is that?” “I can´t talk about that here,I am sorry.”
´Well.Fuck my luck´ You immediately knew what this was about,you were pretty sure that his was somehow about Bucky. Just play dumb. “I want to know why,who are you?” “I am Melissa Wert,a police officer from [city name]” Had someone called the police?Wait.Probably that dude from earlier- “And?Are you please coming with me?” “Uh..uhm..Yes."You began slowly"But can I please use the bathroom first?I will hurry.” She nodded at you,and you stood up carefully. As you walked over the wooden floor you felt her eyes on the back of your head,staring at your leaving form. ´Fuck.´ Because the place was pretty small,they only had one bathroom,which was free right now. You pulled the door open,stepped inside and closed it as fast as possible. As you looked up you saw yourself in the mirror.Your [h/c] hair was a mess,eyes wide and your could see AND feel the goosepumbs on your skin. With a sigh you walked to the sink,turning on the water.You washed your hands and your face with cold water.A sigh was the only sound you made as you laid your head in your hands.
What are you going to do?
Looking back up at the mirror,you saw the water drip down your chin. But you realized in that moment that you weren’t alone in the room.Someone was standing behind you. Before you could make any noise in shock,a Hand covered your mouth. A gloved hand.
“Relax,it´s just me..” Your tense body actually relaxed a bit at his words,but you still stared at his reflection in shock You called out his name,which came silent and muffled,because of his hand on your mouth. With wide eyes you stared at him,wondering what the fuck was going on. “Listen.” You nodded. Slowly he let his hand fall back to his side and explained: “Come with me.You have to trust me,because I am pretty sure that the Police officer,isn´t a police officer.” You furrowed your brows at his words,wondering what had gotten into him.Afterall he was the one who suddenly ran away! And how did he even know that there was a police officer ? You grabbed the white towel that was hanging to your right and dried of your face. Trying to answer,you talked in a hushed voice: “What the hell are you on about?Why would I-” With a groan Bucky grabbed your shoulders and turned you around,the towel falling to the ground. A gasp escaped your lips as you stared into his panicked eyes,Buckys face close to yours. “I have no idea why they are pulling you into this,but I think it is because they saw you with me. Now,I need you to shut up,just listen and do as I say.”
With big eyes and your mouth agape,you stared at him. You tried to find the right word,and settled on intimidated.You were intimidated. For a few seconds you just gaped back at him,like a fish. As Bucky tightened his grip on your shoulder,you snapped back into reality.
As you calmed down a bit,Buckys grip losened. Nodding your head,you gulped and Bucky let go of you.You stood up straight again, slowly,wincing at a slight pain in your back. “Wha-” “Questions for later."Bucky interrupted"For now,we just need to get out of here.” “How did you even get in here?I locked the door.” Bucky pointed to the window to your left. “Oh” He climbed outside first and as soon as his feet hit the ground he helped you outiside. “Where is the-?” “She has probably immediately noticed that you are gone.They are planning something now."He interrupted you as he looked around. It seemed so weird.He was the weird guy who you talked with a few hours ago,he was that nice and quiet man who smiled at one of your dumb jokes. And here you where,trying to find out what went wrong.
"Who are they?” You asked,worried “They?..Well,someone who isn´t gonna be very nice to you when they find out you talked to me without trying to kill me.” “Wha-” “Come on” With one movement Bucky grabbed the sleeve of your jacket and started walking down the path.The rubble under your feet made soft sounds and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. The two of you stopped in front of a high fence that separated the path from a field.Bucky looked at you,and mouthed a ´Wait here.´ Before you could do anything besides stare at him he jumped over the metal fence with ease. Nervously you rubbed your arm,looking around.Your breaths came out a bit shaky. You nearly jumped out of your skin as the door to your left opened with a screech. Your hand flew to your chest,trying to calm yourself down as Bucky walked through. He stood in the door and motioned for you to follow him,before he turned and walked out of sight again. “Eh?!Wait!”
With more confusion than you though humanly possible you ran after him until you where in step with him,kinda. “Where are we going?"You asked,tone unsure. "Away.It is not safe.Not anymore.” “What?I don’t want to leave!You can go I won´t just-” “Dont you understand the seriousness of this?Cant you get it inside your head?!They would kill you without a hesitation because they saw you with me,they saw you talk to me.” He looked at you,his eyes losing every warmth in them as he tried to explain what was going on.Before you could open your mouth,he continued: “I will help you get of their radar,and as soon as we are,we will part ways.You can go back here after a few weeks.Find a place to stay until then.Family or friends maybe” He turned around mid-sentence making it a bit harder for you to get everything.Bucky walked a few steps to a little wooden shack. You winced as you saw him break the window with his left hand,reaching through it. With raised eyebrows you watched him as he pulled a bag through the now shattered window. “Wh-” “We could need this.” You glanced into the bag,a flashlight,batteries,a small cable and a knife. He threw the bag over his right shoulder before returning to you again.Waiting. With a gulp you nodded at him,motioning with your hand that he should go ahead.
Bucky immediately turned away and started walking down the little path. You stared at his back while walking,not sure what to do.Why would they do that?Just kill you? Was he an important person?Did he have some business going on with the wrong people? Well,he didn’t look like someone who would do that,but- Suddenly,a thought hit you.
What if he was the dangerous one? You ran with him without a second thought,trusting him when he told you that he wanted to help.Maybe the people he tried to keep you away from,would help you… But what if he was saying the truth..?He had no reason to lie,did he? A heavy sigh was the only thing that was heard from you for a long time. The light rain still fell from the sky,making you look up.You stopped and just looked at the sark sky for a bit. The raindrops fell on your cheeks,running down your neck. A gust of wind made you turn your head away as it got uncomfortable and you looked back at Bucky,who was now looking at you. “We don’t have much time.” With a slow nod you started walking again,right after Bucky.
“Who are you?”You asked as you got a bit closer to him again.You could hear him sigh,but the only answer you got was a quiet:
“Maybe I will tell you another time..”
What had you gotten yourself into?
As you were quietly thinking about what is happening right now,and making up hollywood worthy scenarios,Bucky kept looking around. If they would walk this way until they could see the street,there should be a way that would lead into the woods. From there you could get out of this town. The gravel under your feet was getting wetter and wetter with every passing minute.Here and there you could see small puddles. You looked around as you heard someone yell.But your panic soon went away as you heard a laugh and a few voices talking. Ok. No murder. While you were still looking to your right,Bucky stopped in his tracks,making you run into his back. Trying to maintain your balance you stumbled a step to the right,and finally stopped too.
Bucky was staring ahead,squinting his eyes a bit.After looking at his face,you tried to follow his gaze,but there was nothing,just a bunch of trees. “Bucky?…” “There are people.7 People.4 of them have guns the rest seems to be unarmed…” Not able to say a coherent sentence,you tensed up and blurted out what should be a sentence. “Wha-Where? How-Rea-?!” “Keep walking until I tell you to run.If I say run,you run into the field and duck.Get to the bridge.” Bucky started walking again,still following the gravel path.You looked around,trying to find the bridge he was talking about. After a few seconds you saw it.A green bridge that goes over an old ship canal.It was to your left,behind a big field of corn. The lump in your throat got bigger with every step you took. You stuffed your hands into your pocket,trying to keep calm and trying to ignore the cold sweat on your back.
A few seconds passed and you glanced at the bridge after every step you took,somehow scared it would just disappear. “[y/n],"You could hear Buckys voice,and gulped down your last bit of fear,preparing to run until your lungs would collapse. "Run.”
[And~That is part two! I hope you guys like it c:]
im legit scREAMING everything is happening so fast im going to milan this weekend london next weekend and germany the weekend after that an in london im meeting up with a former wilhelmina agent who is offering me a jOB the SECOND i get back to nyc this summer and like WOW MY LIFE IS TAKING OFF SO FAST IDK WHATS HAPPENING BUT IM FUCKING EXCITED