wow why do i do these things to myself

The Thought Process Behind A Performance

Oh no, it’s time to go on. Here I go.


Why do I do this to myself?


Wow, there are more people here than I expected. Also fewer than I’d hoped. Feared? I don’t know.


Why do I DO this to myself??


Oh shit my entrance is soon, oh no I'mm gonna miss it? oh gosh oh nononononoooo-


Oh wait, I made it just fine. Never mind.


Hey, this isn’t going too horribly?


NOPE ABORT MISSION I DID THAT THING WRONG HELP.


Hey no one is throwing stuff, I don’t think they noticed? Just keep going, smile, fake it til you make it baby…


I wonder what’s for dinner? No, FOCUS.


I hope it’s pizza.


FOCUS DANGIT.


WHY do I DO THIS.


Yeah, this is the worst I have ever done this. I have no focus and I nearly lost a measure and I’m pretty sure I should just run away to Jamaica and never speak of my past life-


Hey, they’re clapping. Oh. Okay.


Yes, I am wonderful, thanks. Can’t wait for my next performance!

  • Jean(about the 104th): Maybe we’re not a family. Maybe it’s more complicated, because unlike a real family, there’s nothing to stop any one of us from looking at any of the others as a… sexual… prospect…

anonymous asked:

Hey! I love your writing ^^ Can I please request RFA + Saeran finding a pregnancy test, and they think is MC's, but it's her friend's, MC was just helping her? What would they do? Thx thx

Hahahaha I love this! Let’s do it! ^^

RFA + Saeran reacting to finding a pregnancy test


Zen

  • Your friend needed to talk to you alone, your boyfriend was working, so you told her to come by the apartment you and him had been sharing for a couple of weeks now
  • She wasn’t sure if she was pregnant, but her period was a couple of days late.
  •  You told her she should buy one of those drugstore’s pregnancy test, she seemed so scared and worried, so you offered to go with her to buy one and she could take it at your place
  • She was embarrassed and trembling, so you bought it. When you two left, she told you she saw a light, like a camera’s flash. You didn’t mind, she was probably seeing things due to the stress
  • The two stripes appeared on the stick, it was positive. Oh god… the poor girl was desperate! She was so young, it was just an one night stand, the guy probably didn’t even remember her, what would she gonna do now? Oh my god oh my god oh my god…
  • You wanted to help, but you had no idea of what to say, and your phone buzzing so much was getting to your nerves! You turned it off, whatever it could be, it wasn’t more important than comforting your friend right now.
  •  You didn’t know what to do, so you made her some tea and hugged her, saying comforting words, at least that’s what Zen did to you whenever you’re feeling blue. She needed to calm down before thinking what she was going to do… and it was working!
  • Just until Zen walked through the door like a bolt and grabbed you in a tight embrace. “I came as soon as I saw it! I called you, texted you, why didn’t you answer me???  God… these people have no respect for privacy… are you okay, babe? Did you… did you… already take it?” You and your friend were completely confused.
  • “Babe, what are you talking about?” you asked. “The test, the one you bought it at the drugstore…”
  • “How do you know that?” you and your friend asked at the same time. “How don’t you two know? It’s all over gossip sites!”
  • You still weren’t following it, so you turned your phone on. It turns out all those notifications were from the RFA messenger, where Seven started a conversation with “Congrats, MC! You made the news!”
  • And then you saw it. The pictures of you getting out of the drugstore with a plastic bag. And inside the plastic bag, there was a very known brand of pregnancy tests… oh shit!
  • The headlines… oh god… the headlines… all of them saying how Zen’s girlfriend was spotted buying a pregnancy test, some of them pointing out that you weren’t even married.
  • The headlines, the RFA chat, your boyfriend looking at you so tense and excited at the same time… your poor friend… and the fact that the paparazzi was able to see through the plastic bag, jeez… these people have no life!
  • It was too much to handle, so you took a deep breath and hold Zen’s hand.
  •  “Okay… Zen, you need  to send a release to the press saying it was all a misunderstanding…” “Wait, It was?” you sighed deeply “Yes, it was. Did I introduce you to my friend here?”
  • And you went on to explain everything to him, he got all the possible reactions: sad for your friend, angry at the media, a little happy because… yes, you two weren’t married yet and you just moved in together and… a little disappointed that you weren’t having his baby?
  • He sent the release as you asked him, then he tried to comfort your friend, he even said he would be glad to have a little chat with the guy she slept with if he didn’t take his responsibility on this. Your friend politely refused, but appreciated the gesture, he answered he would just do anything for MC’s friends.
  • Both you and your friend were so touched right now… you and her figured out at that moment you found the man of your life (and your future babies’ dad)


Yoosung

  • Your friend dropped by before he came back from college, she wasn’t that scared, but she didn’t want to do it alone
  •  It was positive, she was already waiting for this, anyways… you asked if she was ok, she was a little worried because she was young and just started dating the guy… but she didn’t seem desperate
  • Still, you reassured she could call you anytime she wanted to, you said this over and over even when you were saying goodbye.
  • When she left, you laid down on the couch. You were worried, especially because you could relate to her… you and Yoosung were dating for less than a month… what if it was you? How would you react? How would HE react?
  • You thought about it so much that it got you tired, so you fell asleep on the couch
  • But the nap didn’t last long as soon as you found Yoosung sit next to you, he was staring at the wall. He scared the shit out of you, but he looked so shook that you had to play cool. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
  • “Two stripes means positive, right? I looked it up online.” He finally looked at you, holding the stick. His eyes looked paralyzed.
  • Dating him for a couple of weeks now, you noticed he tended to… overreact a little over silly things. Last week, he freaked out about accidentally walking on you in the bathroom
  • “I’m so so sorry, MC! I disrespected your privacy, your personal space… God, I’m so clingy, right? I was just worried, I didn’t notice you were in the shower, and you weren’t answering it… I thought you were kidnapped or something… Maybe a kidnapper would respect your privacy better than me, right?” WUT
  • Back to this, you took a deep breath. “Yoosung… where did you find this?”
  • “It - It was on the sink…” his voice was breaking, was he about to cry? You mental slapped yourself, you just had to thrown the stick on the garbage, but no… you had to be all contemplative about your friend’s situation and doze off on the couch, hadn’t you, you lazy bum?
  • “Yoosung, listen to me… I’m not pregnant.” “Of course you are, two stripes mean you’re pregnant” Oh God, you’re pregnant! We’re pregnant! And I didn’t even graduate yet… oh, my mom is gonna kill me! And Zen is going to lecture me about protection, and Seven… oh god, I don’t even want to think what he is going to do with me! I should run away before he finds out! Oh no… but then you’ll be a single mom, MC! Oh god, I heard society can be terrible with single moms, I feel so bad for you…” Just throw it in the garbage, seriously, just that…
  • “Yoosung… I’m not gonna be a single mom, I’m gonna be no mom, matter of fact…” “Of course you will, MC! Look at the stripes!” “They’re not my stripes, Yoosung, they’re… my friend’s, you remember her?” and you explained him everything
  • He managed to calm down, but had a mini breakdown when he figured out he was holding a stick your friend peed on… oh no, he wasn’t a pervert! Were you feeling betrayed now? Yoosung, please chill
  • At night, when you two went to bed, he apologized for getting weird, you said it was no big deal. “No, but you see, MC, it is a big deal. What if it was actually your test? I could never react like that! I have to be strong and be there for you, and… for our baby…”
  • “And one day you’ll be the strongest man I’ve ever seen, but it takes time and life experiences. We have so much time ahead of us, and we’re gonna go through so much in life… we have to graduate, get a job, find a bigger place to live, get married…” you noticed his breath speeding up, oh no, not again… he couldn’ freak out again, so you had to think quickly “But, until then… why don’t we just have fun?” you got up on him “I mean, some nice… (you kissed him on the forehead) sweet… (then on his nose) loud… (and then on his neck, making him let out a low moan) and PROTECTED… fun?”
  • He raised his head to catch your lips on a deep kiss, and well… let’s say it was a very fun night, after all


Jaehee

  • When you two started dating, she was very concerned about how your family would react about you dating a woman
  • You told her not to worry and explained  how much your parents loved your brother and his partner
  • She was so excited to hear about that, she just enjoyed finding sweet things about you and your family. Seeing her enthusiasm, you kept on talking about your brother and his husband
  • You told her that they were living together for almost five years, and they were considering having a kid, they were already looking for egg donors, matter of fact. You said, on a playful tone (which she probably didn’t notice), that they were considering you to carry the baby
  • So it was no big shock to her when she found the pregnancy test thrown next to the garbage a few weeks later. The fact that it was positive didn’t bewildered her as well
  • She was just confused about why you didn’t tell her you got the procedure? You wanted to keep a secret? Or… you didn’t consider her important enough in your life to let her know? No no… you would never do that! Would you?
  • Whatever it was, she wanted to respect this thing that was obviously between family, so she pretended she never found that test.
  • But it was hard to stay still when you were working at the cafe. Shouldn’t you sit a little? It wasn’t good being standing for this long, right? And how come you were never sick? Were you a super pregnant?
  • And then she lost it when you tried to lift a heavy box in the stock room. “MC, what do you think you’re doing?”
  • “I’m just taking this to the back, it’s getting on the way.” “Why didn’t you ask me to take it, MC? You can’t do things like that!”
  • “S-Sorry, Jaehee. I thought I could handle by myself, but I’ll let you know next tim-“ “Next time? What next time? Are you out of your mind? No! Oh, why didn’t I do this before? You need to take a leave of absence right now!”
  • “Wow, is that an euphemism for firing me?” “Firing you? No, MC! Never! I would never fire a pregnant lady, I would never fire… you…”
  • And you were like: “Say what now?”. She sighed heavily: “I’m sorry, MC! I found the pregnancy test the other day, I know you’re doing it for your brother, so I didn’t want to say anything, because it’s a family thing, and I felt I shouldn’t butt in. But you have to be careful and can’t strain yourself like that, it’s not just about you anymore, it’s about the human being growing inside of you.” What are you saying, woman?
  • And then you remembered the day your friend dropped by after taking the test, she could really use a friend back then… well, she also could have used the trash can appropriately and actually checking if it was actually thrown inside of it.
  • You chuckled and told her the whole story, she was so embarrassed when you finished, and it was so cute…
  • But you needed to scold her a little: “And hey, you dork! Did you really think I would do something so important like this without discussing it with you first?” “It’s a family’s subject, I-“ “And you’re a big part of my family, so you’ll be the first one to know, ok?”
  • Her eyes widened: “I’m… your family?” “W- Well, sure! I didn’t introduce you to my parent s yet, but that can be easily arranged.”
  • “And your brother…?” “Forget him, I’m not talking with him since he declined my offer to carry the baby. He said I’m too clumsy! Can you believe this?” Yeah… she could


Jumin

  • He didn’t like Elizabeth was playing with trash in the bathroom, but he was curious about what she was trying so much to take from behind the trash can
  • So he saw it and… well, he didn’t know what it was. So he send a blurried photo to Assistant Kang because he doesn’t know boundaries.
  • Jaehee said that, from what she could see through all the blur, it was a pregnancy test, and a positive one judging from the thick blue lines on the top, she didn’t even ask anything, because… well, she knew boundaries.
  • It took him a while to put 2 and 2 together, and when he did… oh boy, he went looking for you.
  • And he found you near the balcony, but he could hear you talking. Oh… you were on the phone.
  • He didn’t want to disturb you, but he couldn’t help listening to your conversation.
  • “Well, sleeping with him was a mistake from the beginning! He’s a such a selfish little prick! Ugh… Oh, come on, we both know he’s not going to propose…” you turned and saw Jumin staring at you. “I’ll call you back later, ok? Hey honey! How was your day?”
  • “Nothing much, apparently I got my girlfriend pregnant, but she hates me…” “You’ve been watching that weird soap opera again, Jumin?” you scoffed, and he seemed irritated
  • “What? How can you make fun of me in such a situation, MC? Is it because… I’m a prick, whatever that means?”
  • “Jumin… you’re not making any sense now, honey. Why don’t we start from the top?” your collected and sweet tone took him aback.
  • “Elizabeth the 3rd found the pregnancy test, MC. I didn’t mean to listen to your conversations, but… I heard you on the phone, and… I’m just wondering, do you really regret making love to me? Do you really consider me… a selfish prick? I know I do a lot of things my way, MC, but you can always tell me if I’m being forceful, and… if you’re worried because we’re not married yet, that can be easily solved! I… don’t have a ring right now, but I can…” and he went down on one of his knees
  • “Whoa, Jumin! What are you doing?” “I’m proposing, as you desired…” “WHOA, ok… um, get up! This is just… this is a big misunderstanding, this is… “ You wanted to laugh so bad, but you knew he ‘d be offended
  • You told him everything, about your friend who dropped by because she was afraid to do it alone, and about you calling another friend to tell her it was true and trash talk the guy, who’s an asshole. “He’s totally… not like you…”
  • Well, he was relieved, not about you not being pregnant, but about you considering him a good man, after all.
  • “But, I must confess, MC, I wouldn’t mind if you were actually pregnant, I would be… very happy…”
  •  “Yeah, I thought you would say something like this. But honey, I’m too young and I just moved in. There’s so much we should do as a couple before thinking about kids, don’t you think?
  • “Oh really? Like what?” he teased you with a smirk
  •  “Well, I’ll let you surprise me on that. But let’s just say for now I should be the only one calling you ‘daddy’ around this house, how’s that sound?” that sounded great.


Saeyoung

  • He came to visit you at your place, but you already had a guest? Oh, it was one of your friends, he remembered her
  • He saw you two hugging, both yours and her expression seemed gloomy, the whole atmosphere was a little heavy. Who died?
  • You two saw him, she just said a quick goodbye and got out, her head was low the whole time. “Is everything ok, MC?”
  •  “Yes, yes, it is… so, what’s up?” you tried to not let him see you worried like that, but he could always tell when something was off with you.
  • Generally, you would tell him what was going on, but now you didn’t want to, so he would respect that. The best he could do now was try to make you smile and distract you a little.
  •  You needed to ask him something, but you didn’t know how, so you kept hesitating. He noticed and just hugged you, you would talk when you were ready.
  • You cuddled on the couch and watched a movie, the blanket he brought was furry and you felt your nose itching. He apologized for not knowing you were allergic, he felt so stupid. You told him not to worry, you were dating for two weeks, there were a lot of things you didn’t know about each other, but you would learn eventually.
  • You started sneezing and told him to get your medicine at the bathroom, but then you remembered. You jumped out of the couch, but it was too late. You saw your boyfriend standing next to the sink holding the test and the box with the instructions.
  • “Two stripes mean positive, right?” he asked. “Saeyoung, before you say anything, I should…”
  • He felt happy at first, starting a family with you, even if was so soon, seemed like a dream coming true. But then he remembered yours and your friend’s expression,  you two looked so tense, so… sad…
  • “You called your friend for emotional support, right? You were too scared to do it alone. Why didn’t you call me? Why… why you didn’t want me to find out, MC? Why were you hesitating to tell me?” oh, you knew what was going on, you saw what happens when his insecurities got the best of him “You’re afraid, right? Afraid I’ll push you away again, that one day I’ll run away and let you. MC, I… I know I don’t deserve you, and I’m immature and complicated, but I’ll-“ you interrupted him putting your lips against his and kissing him, it was a fast yet very intense kiss
  • “Now you listen, that test is my friend’s that was here. She’s pregnant, and her boyfriend has been missing for a couple of weeks. He doesn’t seem the type to just let a girl without explanation and they really love each other, just like you and me, so we suspect something bad happened to him. I wanted to ask you to try tracing him, but you said you were done hacking and I didn’t want to make you do something that brought you so much suffering and trouble again. There, I said it” and you let out a deep sight, he was string at you and gulped, he didn’t know what to say, so he also took a deep breath in relief and to try to compose himself.
  • “MC. I’m… I’m sorry for acting that way, and… you can ask me anything anytime you need my help. I’m done hacking to collect bad information, to blackmail people. But I would be more than happy to use my skills to help you and your friend. I mean, this is… so much more than I deserve, I’m so…stupid and…” “You shut up right now, you’re not allowed to talk about my boyfriend and future father of my children like this. If you ever do that again, I’ll kick you in the balls, you heard me?”
  • “But then… we won’t be able to have  kids…” he pouted, and you both laughed. “Alright, now let’s get to work!” he said as putting an arm around your shoulder and leading you to the living room.


Saeran

  • He noticed you were spacing out a little when he got home and asked if you were ok, you said everything was fine and he went to the bedroom. “What about you? How was your day? You asked, trying to distract yourself.
  •  “Meh, nothing much. You went to shopping?” He asked as he noticed the paper bags next to the door. “Yeah, my friend and I really needed a shopping therapy this afternoon and… oh! I actually have something to ask you, could you access my credit card report and check something for me? I think they charged the wrong price on a dress, the targets were messed up and I think I paid more…” you ran to him in the bedroom.
  • “Don’t be so gullible and pay more attention next time.” He scolded you. “Well, me and my friend were a little distracted, it’s just… nevermind, just… please, Saeran? Pleeease?”
  • He couldn’t resist when you asked like that saying his name. “Fine, you better let me tear off that dress once you put it.” “Not if I actually paid more. But I’ll think of something to pay you in return. I could start with ice cream! I’ll go to the convenience store, what flavor do you want?” “Well, you should choose, it will be all over your body once you get here.”  “And you’ll be the one to lick it, so…” “Whatever you pick, it’ll taste delicious.” He grinned and you giggled, kissing his forehead before heading out of your apartment he’s been staying for a month and a half now.
  • He hacked into your banking activity, as you requested (well, that was a first…), he would show you the report when you’d get back, but since he was here, he was curious about that shopping therapy, so he took a look at what else you bought.
  • Make-up, clothes, hair products, lingerie…? What kind? That was interesting… but what was more interesting was something you bought at a drugstore, what was that?
  • He looked it up and found it was a pregnancy’s test brand. “The fuck…?” Why would you need something like that? Unless… oh, that night you didn’t use a condom… you both were so drunk… SHIT!
  • He was not proud of digging the trash can in the bathroom, and he got even less proud when he saw it was positive (he also had to look it up what the two stripes meant) SHIT SHIT SHIT!
  • Was that why you were so distracted? Was that why you went to shopping? You needed new clothes for your new figure? But you said it was to distract you and your friend… weren’t you… feeling good about this?
  • Of course he wasn’t ready to be a father, but If you’d feel good about this, maybe this would be enough to encourage him… so, if you were doubtful yourself, how was he supposed to feel?
  • You got back and found him on the couch. He was fidgeting his phone on his hand. “Hey, are you okay?”
  • “Yeah, I’m cool, don’t worry.” “Okay… did you check my credit card report?” “Yeah, I did, it was very… interesting…” “Really? I’ll have to go back to that store tomorrow and make them refund me!” he wasn’t looking at you, so you thought of a way to get his attention. “Hey, I… I kinda ruined the surprise when I asked you to see what I bought, but… did you notice that I bought new lingerie? I’ll show you!”
  • What were you doing? Were you messing with him on purpose? You wanted him to find the pregnancy test? But why were you acting so clueless?
  •  You showed up at the living room wearing a stunning black lace and leather lingerie, he was trying so hard not to look, but the blush across his cheeks was very visible. “How do I look?”
  • He didn’t answer, but you could see he was trying not to look. Well, actions speak louder than words, so you sat on his lap and peppered some kisses on his neck. Oh god… he was feeling so hot, but… he pushed you away.
  • “What are you doing? Are you out of your mind?” he asked. “What’s wrong, Saeran? You been acting weird ever since I got back!” “Oh, I’m the one acting weird? Are you sure it’s not you?” “What are you talking about? I just wanted to have some fun with you because I have a shitty day and…”
  • “Would you stop saying that? If you feel so bad about being pregnant with my kid, why are you still trying to have sex with me again?” WHAT THE FUCK?
  • “I saw you bought one of those sticks to pee on to see if you’re knocked up, MC! It’s positive and it’s in the trash can! Then you keep saying how bad your day was, how you needed distraction… I know I’m more like a child and I wouldn’t probably be a good father, but… do you really need to shove that to my face? You… you don’t love me?”
  • You felt so bad… “Saeran… it’s nothing like that, you got everything wrong…” and you explained everything, your friend took the test here, she seemed stressed and worried, so you took her to shopping. “Fuck, I’m becoming as idiot as my brother!” you laughed
  • “You’re not an idiot! But you have to ask me before making your own assumptions. I would tell you right away if I were pregnant so we could figure out what to do together, that’s what you do when you love someone, you know?” he was so happy hearing you say that, you loved him, and most important, you trusted him.
  • “But, that night when we didn’t use a condom…?” “I never forget to take my pills, don’t worry about that.” “Did you take it today?” you nodded a yes, and he grinned.
  • “That lingerie shouldn’t be put to waste, wait for me in the bedroom, I’ll bring the ice cream.”

friend: i just think that [entry level discourse that i’m gonna have to start at step fucking one for]

me: okay listen i don’t think i can put myself through this right now because it’s a lot of linking and explaining and i’m not in any mental condition to go through all of this effort trudging through things i would prefer not to look at right now because they’re almost 100% frustrating and personally relevant so i’m going to just take a break

friend: oh okay sorry for upsetting you!

me: *spends two hours doing it all anyway, completely disregarding my own mental wellbeing*

me: wow why do i feel so exhausted and irritable it is a mystery here’s a bakers dozen in receipts don’t talk to me for thirty hours

I know I don’t say random things like this

Being kinda cheesy in public is not my thing Un_n), and 90% of my online interaction is silent, but idk..it must be nice to know that your presence (no matter how rare it is) in someone else’s space is something for them to be grateful for…so hey! I am.

I know no one sticks to something in tumbly forever xD many of you sure know little about me, some others have for 1-2 yrs and there are a few that have for…3-4 (wow lol) and that’s quite meaningful!

And you know why? because I don’t talk much about myself or share my thoughts in here (not the starter type fff).. but whenever I do I never regret it and that’s good news! makes me feel I’m doing this blog thing right since there isn’t..well..legit bad feedback dhjsdfs I even got to know some of you better or just share some nice words..and is something I can’t never let pass! I’m always thankful..to the people that can bear with me (or just my blog) for so long..that’s all. Thanks for appreciating whatever I’m giving to you rn heh..

( º//-º) Many must be shy af like me so I don’t blame you if we barely exchange words but..I know you’re there and that’s enough c: Thanks for approaching me, whether it is via tumblr, twitter, etc.

Have a nice blogging, now and wherever you go :v

This was meant to be just a quick one hour thing as a break from freelance and I got carried away…..

Discussion on Recent Post on PJ

AKA Answering Ask Time

Ah man sorry for just suddenly disappearing like that guys. Just I had to take a sudden break from tumblr. Anyway – I got several asks over the hours I was not on there… though I did turn it off at one point due to some hate being sent to me, which I will address below. I decided to go ahead and answer all of the asks that are surrounding the situation that happened and the events that happened due to it in this post. Any other questions that are specifically asking about something else (though mentioning a bit of what happened Monday) I’ll answer on their own and appropriately tag them, since I know a few of you were wondering about PJ a bit.

Anyway! On with the show! I hope that with this I can clear up a bit of things as well as give my thoughts on what you have to say about it! And I’ll be going in a random order with the asks… so bear with me! ^^

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@assassinsdragons Thant is such a sweet offer! And that would also be soooo cool. Around this time next year I have 3 months between high school and uni so I might just actually come and stalk you…. (Okay, I won’t actually stalk you, but I’d love to visit!)(also thanks for the spelling correction, it’s been too long since I’ve looked at my duolingo course, I should start that up again)

@princess-ikol yessss I have a cosplay girl! That sounds so cool! But I can’t dive into cosplay just yet because exams and also I have to do my work for next weekend now because next week I AM GOING TO SEE RADIOHEAD OMG I’M SO EXITED!!!

But I will def come stalk you if I survive those 3 days of festival madness

Also my followers are such sweet people how did I deserve you guys???? I feel like Draco at his first Weasley christmas. Honoured to be accepted and really really happy about that. But also very very very confused as to why they’ve taken him in because??? I/he don’t/doesn’t have anything to offer??? Nvm my ramblings, I’m just typing more than I should bc this is the last thing I’m allowed to do before I have to study #procrastination 

anonymous asked:

ive noticed you never post your opinion unless people send an ask about it. in your replies you also never really say your opinion bluntly. I'm not trying to nit pick i just find that interesting about you. most people make a lot of opinion posts but even your personal posts are made in the tags.

Wow, I feel sort of … exposed?? You’re right, though- I’m the kind of person that keeps things to myself unless someone asks about it. And if people do ask about it then I try to be considerate of the fact that they may have differing opinions and I never want to dismiss those differing opinions. It’s just my nature, though. I’m not good at doing spur of the moment things- I tend to over think everything (which is why it takes me forever to answer asks) so I plan out answers and posts very, very carefully so that I can keep my own biases and emotions in check so that things don’t get misconstrued. 

(i probably come off as very pedantic and pretentious tbh im so sorry kwjrlkwejr)

The Wedding - L.H

I was told I need to make an imagine for myself and what better way to do that than with mine and Luke’s wedding? (I feel like I’m going to regret this).


“She just doesn’t stop!” Michael yelled holding his one and a half year old sideways as she just continued to scream in between giggles as Luke smiled, stopping himself mid shave so he didn’t cut himself as he watched his friend deal with a smaller version of himself. “Was I this annoying?”

“Yes,” the other three members of the band said in unison. “And the sad part is, you were twenty. She’s barely two,” Ashton added as Michael groaned rolling his eyes.

“I swear, I’m never having another child,” he muttered to himself as she twisted in his grasp, still screaming. “Who would’ve thought, by twenty-seven, three of us would have a kid, and Luke would be the first to get married?”

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Okay but since it is obvious Sportacus knows it’s Robbie despite the ridiculous disguises, what if one time Robbie set this huge, elaborate thing to get rid of Sportadork, as always, but this time Sportacus was in amazement at how much time and effort went in to this scheme and let it slip and said, “Wow, Robbie! This is amazing!” And Robbie got super flustered and was making sure nobody heard it and Sportacus just giggled and sassily said, “Oh sorry. I meant, Mr.Rottenton.” (or whatever brillant fake name Robbie thought of) & now I can’t stop seeing this actually happening please someone draw fanart.

“I’m afraid of flying.” Makoto admits. Haruka blinks at him, expression no more animated than usual. His friend trips over his own clumsy wording. “I-I mean, I’m afraid of flying in a plane… Of course people can’t fly on their own.”

“Why?”

The question itself seemed simple enough, but it made his best friend’s eyebrows crease together in serious thought. Haruka asks him again. “Is it because of that?”

The brunet flinches, as if his words had grown thorns. They don’t speak about that. It’s unsettling for the both of them, but more for Makoto than Haruka. Living near an airport makes the stories all the more hard hitting. All the people who had sent their loved ones off with hugs and kisses, only to wait forever at the arrivals gate for people who won’t come back…

“Haru wants to be a pilot, right?” Makoto says after a long silence, his green eyes gazing far off into distance, “I know I promised to do it with you, but I—”

He shrinks away from whatever he wanted to say. He shakes his head. Makoto settles for apologising even as he is blinking rapidly to wish the tears away from his eyes.

A plane roars past above them. The seagulls ride the incoming sea wind, unperturbed. The ocean’s lapping waves fill in the gaps of their conversation.

Makoto sniffs and lets out a shaky laugh, tears trickling down his cheeks. Even now, the taller boy is smiling. Haruka doesn’t like seeing his best friend cry, and the ease with which he puts on that gentle expression makes Haruka’s heart thud all the more unhappily in his chest.

He wants to tell Makoto that none of it matters, that he’s still his best friend even if he’s afraid of flying. He wants to tell him that there are other ways of experiencing the joys of being amongst the clouds with the sun bright in his eyes. He wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to be a pilot. That he doesn’t have to be in the business at all, period, if he doesn’t want to.

The brunet laughs. "Don’t look as if you should be the one crying, Haru.“

Haruka holds back from voicing all that though, incapable of putting so many thoughts and feelings into strings of coherent words.

"Don’t worry." His friend dries his tears on the back of his hands. Haruka has had his mind read again. He relaxes and exhales, just as Makoto inhales. "I won’t leave you. Just because I can’t go with you, doesn’t mean I won’t be here when you come back.”

The older of the two boys huffs and mutters, “I never worried.”

And it was true. Haruka could always count on Makoto being one step behind him. Even when they lost each other, he knows that Makoto would be right where he last saw him - mildly panicking, but there nonetheless.

Always.

Jurassic World Sentence Starters.
  • “Your flight’s in two hours.”
  • “Did you feed the monster under your bed?”
  • “[Name], you’re not going off to war.“
  • “Remember. If something chases you – run.”
  • “Why do you have to say things like that?”
  • “Can he/she/they slow down?”
  • “No one’s impressed by a dinosaur anymore.”
  • “We want to be thrilled.”
  • “Don’t wander off.”
  • “Seven years…seven, but y’know, close.”
  • “You’re not coming with us?”
  • “Where did you get that?”
  • “The key to a happy life is to accept you are never actually in control.”
  • “You should spend a day at the beach, get some sun!”
  • “Oh, he/she/they’re just being dramatic.”
  • “I like her/his/their spirit.”
  • “Hey! Don’t give me that shit.”
  • “Damn, you got them eating out of your palm.”
  • “Extinct animals have no rights.”
  • “Do you hear yourself when you talk?”
  • “This is going to happen – with or without you.”
  • “You the new guy?”
  • “No, [name] is not having a bachelor/bachelorette party.”
  • “All his/her/their friends are animals.”
  • “You were supposed to call me when you landed.”
  • “Wait, are you crying?”
  • “What do they want now?”
  • “Do you want to consult here, or in my bungalow?”
  • “It’s a relationship. It’s based on mutual respect.”
  • “What kind of a diet doesn’t allow tequila?”
  • “What kind of a man shows up to a date in board shorts?”
  • “They’re dinosaurs. Wow enough.”
  • “Probably not a good idea.”
  • “Is it in the basement? Is there a downstairs? Maybe it’s in the rec room.”
  • “What? Why would you say that?”
  • “There’s a point where you have to grow up.”
  • “You’re going after it with non-lethals?”
  • “You are not in control here!”
  • “You have an M-134 in your armory; put it on a chopper, and smoke this thing!”
  • “What do you think’s going to happen with you just staring at them?”
  • “Who authorized you to do this?”
  • “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”
  • “Dude. Off-road.”
  • “It’s killing for sport.”
  • “I am not one of your damn animals!”
  • “You’ll last two minutes in there. Less in those ridiculous shoes.”
  • “What is that supposed to mean?”
  • “Just like taking a stroll through the woods. 65 million years ago.”
  • “I know who you are.”
  • “Then you know why I’m here.”
  • “The solution to your crisis is standing right in front of you.”
  • “Okay, boss. What’s your next move?”
  • “Where did you go? Why didn’t you come back?”
  • “Son of a bitch.”
  • “Can we stay with you?”
  • “Do not shoot my raptors. Please.”
  • “You’re looking at him, kid.”
  • “Hold hands.”
  • “Your boyfriend’s a badass.”
  • “Raptors got a new alpha.”
  • “It’s okay to lie to people when they’re scared!”
  • “I can’t wait to tell mom!”
  • “I’m afraid that’s above your pay grade.”
  • “Why did you have to make it personal?”
  • “Run!”
  • “We should probably stick together. For survival.”

I just found a notebook from my last exam session and I’ll share with you some of the things I’ve written on the last few pages. Remembering this time I know I wasn’t high but reading this really makes me think I was. Here goes:

• this is going to fucking kill me!!
• I want to die dying
• olololo how much do you want to die right now
Then I got philosophical and I literally have no idea what I meant or why I wrote this:
• Are you okay with having so much shit to do so that the only things you know are the things you’ve seen?
Followed by a big “Whaa????”
• I don’t know who this person is.
I guess I was talking about myself because below this was the following:
• OMG Do do you like the person you’ve become……wow sick Bastille reference right there
Then there were some more “I want to die"s.
This next one is by far my favorite one:
• what if I mcfreaking die right now..what the actual fuck.. so good!!!
Then there was a formula that didn’t make any sense so I probably decided it needs explanation:
• you know this is just something you are making up to distract yourself and those are not real formulas right?? If not you are a real dumbass. Actually just writing this I know you are because you are me and I am being a dumbass.
That was my grand finale, everyone.

anonymous asked:

You're mini Tyler Oakley because you're just as much a piece of shit as him? Or what? Like thinking you're too hot shit? Bc yeah, you act like you're better than everyone else just like that worm.

okayyy wow you think i think I’m hot shit? that’s nice, my opinion of myself is very low so like that but also do you really have nothing better to do that shit on random people you don’t know, shit on me I don’t care, but don’t shit on him, he’s done some really amazing and good things, he’s  good person so like I don’t know why don’t you take a breather and try being a nice person, smile to a stranger or something

As humans, we often think about what we’re doing wrong, what’s not working, and why we aren’t doing as well as we used to. Lately, I’ve been comparing myself to what I looked like last year (20 pounds lighter) and hating that I let myself lose that. Then I look at myself 7 years ago… Wow. This immediately put things into perspective for me. Being healthy is never going to be a straight linear path of losing weight and watching the scale drop. It’s going to go up, it’s going to go down, there’s going to be highs, and there’s going to be lows. What matters is why you’re doing it. Be healthy for you, whatever form healthy takes at any given moment in your life. I can now take where I was last year, and know that I’m capable of getting back there again. And I can also celebrate where I am right now, and be grateful for the passion that I’ve found in getting myself and others healthy. All you can do is take it one day at a time.

2

Take a picture of your workspace
I’ve got a mug with my dad’s picture on it lmaooOOO

Show your pencilcase and what’s inside.
Answered!!!

Lineart or coloring? 
COLORING!!!! I’m so bad at lineart help mE

Do you listen to music when you draw? Favorites?
Yes! I mostly listen to kpop now www my favs are Jay Park’s songs!!! (Along with Pentagon and TT lmOOO)

Least favorite thing to draw? 
BackgroundS swEATS……

Draw a pic of yourself like how you look just now.
Answered!!

Any weird artist behaviour you admit doing?
Everytime I made a drawing I just stare at it telling myself ‘wow you’ve done quite well hehe’ and then the other time I got like ‘why did you draW THIS’

there’s something so intriguing to me about seeing lit windows at night. like seeing a light in a window at like 3am is just so Interesting to me like it just makes me wonder who’s in there and what’s their story and why are they awake, what kind of life do they lead etc. like even when im watching tv i find myself looking at the windows in buildings and being like wow there are millions of other different characters doing different things at this exact moment. idk.