wow where did this come from


Sherlock Holmes: high functioning sociopath |  knows 243 types of tobacco ash | the difference between alpaca wool and Icelandic sheep wool | destroyed a terror network in two years | made a whole nation believe he was dead
- Thinks his morning tea just sort of happened

ok.  "it had too much singing in it" is not an adequate criticism of a musical.  did u go in expecting something different??  wow lots of music in that musical.  wish they’d warn us about that.  maybe they should rename it. these singing spectacles need to be referred to something that would indicate their musical nature.

like who are you.  where did you even come from.  go back to mars

You are like the TARDIS. On the outside, the TARDIS just looks like a blue wooden box, but inside is a whole other world, an amazingly complicated interwoven network full of the most awe-inspiring things. On the outside, you are skin and hair, but inside you are just as beautiful and confusingly wonderful as the TARDIS. Please, never forget that.

  • What she says:I'm fine.
  • What she means:What if they really did film 2 music videos when they filmed She's Kinda Hot and all the 7 trillion dogs Calum had on leashes will be for the Fly Away video? Where did those dogs come from? What were those dogs used for? Did Calum keep them? Would they make him feel better right now? What is happening with all this new music? Remember when I said I wanted new 5SOS music ASAP... Well this really was ASAP WOW. So Fly Away huh... I bet that's going to be good. ANOTHER SONG OFF THE ALBUM THAT ASHTON SAID HE'S NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD OF ANYTHING IN HIS LIFE. It's going to be such a great album. OMG... So many anthems. Such wow. So great for all the rejects like me out there joining the New Broken Scene. It's fine... I'm fine.
EXO As Old People
  • Tao:I think it's time to give you my prized possession. /hands over lady buckle jaguar print top handle gucci purse/
  • Chen:Hey you know if you squirt a lemon peel in your eye you'll see New York City.
  • Luhan:This jello is too hard, let me get my dentures.
  • Xiumin:You kids are walking too fast, I hear my hip clicking.
  • Lay:Back in the day we didn't have those doodlidads you youngsters are using nowadays.
  • Kai:*pulls out a pipe* Still a baller.
  • Sehun:I used to be called the baby of the group. Little did they know I made the most babies out of all of them.
  • Chanyeol:I'm getting real tired of your shit you guys. Young people. Jeez.
  • D.O.:I used to be like O_O but now I'm like =_=.
  • Suho:Hey dudes, I'm so in the know. Yo Yo #2075swag

I’m not one to care about celeb drama, but seeing so many people applauding and encouraging kim and kanye for dragging taylor is making me sick to my stomach. This whole social media culture of praising people for dragging others and making memes about “YASS EXPOSE THEM👀 DRAG THEM👏🏻👏🏻 SLAY👌🏻” is getting out of hand.

Here you have a hardworking female artist who is known for donating money and helping fans under the radar and away from publicity, who was subject to an asshole’s behaviour at an award show - forgave him even though she didn’t have to, who took offense upon literally being called a Bitch in said asshole’s song,

But who are the public siding with?? The asshole(s). Because “OOOOH THEY’RE SPILLING THE TEA!! SLAY!! BRING HER DOWN!!”

“Oh but her words were contradicting”
Dude. Her publicists spoke for her. Publicists who always assess the situation and try to keep the media on the low so something doesn’t blow up.

“But she liked the idea in the phone call that kim posted”
Please. She didn’t hear that she would be called a bitch. Which is a rather offensive word???

Why did they even video tape the conversation??? Unless they wanted “proof” of something? “Proof” that taylor liked the idea and suddenly was against them so they could start a celeb feud because they’re media-horny fuckwads?? Fuck off.

WOW! Where did this hurricane come from?! Hurricane Patricia is the strongest hurricane in all recorded history. I’ve been so busy with work, I haven’t looked at the news all week. Look at that horrifying path! She’ll hit Texas over the weekend, which is already dealing with massive flooding and surely the governor will declare a state of emergency (and, sorry guys for the political jab, be forced to request federal assistance from Obama. Awkwarrdd…).

Oh man, this is horrible.

To put Patricia into perspective, Hurricane Katrina - which devastated New Orleans, killed ~2,000 people, and exposed how deeply weak the United States disaster response system really is - clocked maximum winds of 174 miles per hour (280kmh). Typhoon Haiyan in 2013 was the previous record holder with 196 mph/315kmh winds (~6,500 people killed).

Patricia is clocking 200 miles per hour (322kmh), making her the strongest storm, ever. No one knows what to expect regarding damage.

Eight million people in Mexico are in imminent danger, and millions more are at extremely high risk. Let’s hope Mexico is prepared…

anonymous asked:

*Doesn't get Frances reference*...Riiiiiiiigght

Some people have been asking me about this so I will explain the story for you sinners. It’s a good conversation starter.

Once upon a Yeezus, there were two cities called Sodom (where the word “sodomy” comes from) and Gomorrah.

In these two towns, all everyone ever did was have sex for pleasure. Like literally, everywhere you looked, BAM there was an orgy.

And I’m sure you can guess how God feels about people having sex if not to make babies. God planned to completely destroy both towns for having way too much non-reproductive sex.

But before He did, He sent two of his angels down to Sodom, disguised as dazzlingly gorgeous men. 

There in Sodom, a man by the name of Lot, who was probably like the only guy in the whole town who didn’t have sex constantly, watched them descend from heaven.

Lot took the angels into his house, fed them, gave them a foot bath, and promised them a bed for the night so they could continue their journey in the morning.

However, every single person in the town surrounded the house and demanded that Lot bring out the angels so that the townspeople could do the nasty with them.

Lot offered the mob his two virgin daughters instead of the angels.

The mob was not amused by Lot’s offer and just as they were about to beat him up, the angels grabbed him and casted off a godly light so bright, none of the townspeople could see.

Back inside, the angels warned Lot of God’s plans to destroy his city and told him to gather up his family and run away. They instructed him to run as fast as he could, and to not look back at his town, no matter what. 

And so, he did. 

But while he and his family were running away, Lot’s wife glanced back at the burning town for a split second, and was immediately turned into a pillar of salt. Lot and his daughters kept running, until they reached Zoara, a nearby town.

Eventually Lot and his family moved into a cave for fear that Zoara would be destroyed too. Then the daughters got Lot drunk and had sex with him. 

  • Kylo Ren:*Stabs Han Solo and let's him roll and drop*
  • Force Ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi:Wow your grandson is completely uncivilised...
  • Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker:Sorry, what's a grandson? That's not my grandson. No way. I don't know what it is. Look at it. I'm not related to that. Don't know where he gets it from... Must be a Solo thing, because, I totally would never do that. Come on as if I would drop an old man down an bottomless shaft...
  • Force Ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi:*looks into the camera like he's on the office*

You scrubbed at the plate in your hands, quietly singing along with All Time Low’s ‘Cinderblock Garden’ that was playing through your phone. Suddenly, the song was cut off by a notification going off. You put down the plate, going towards the phone but furrowed your eyebrows as it went off again and again. You quickly opened your phone, seeing you had a bunch of mentions on Twitter.





You quickly went to his twitter page to see why everyone was freaking out about. But when you saw the tweet, you couldn’t help but let your jaw drop and gasp a bit.

@Calum5SOS: ‘I really see wife material right here, what about you guys?’

Attached was a picture of you from just a minute ago, when you were washing and singing. You didn’t know if he was joking or not, was this his way of proposing? You started to get stressed thinking about it, although you loved Calum, you just thought you two were too young and it was early. You felt curiosity start to eat at you, making your nerves even worse. Finally, you went towards your bedroom, where you found him on your shared bed. He just looked up at you, smiling while saying, “Hey babe, what’s up?” Your heart was racing and you ending up just freezing up, not able to get any words out.

Calum just sighed and said, “It’s the tweet, isn’t it?” You slowly nodded, playing with your fingers. He got up and walked toward you, taking your hands in his while giving you a small smile. “Look I’m not proposing if that’s what you think.” He said, making you let out that breath you were holding. Calum just chuckled a bit at your actions then continued, “I get it, it’s too soon and we’re very young. I just wanted you to know that I can see a future with you, I can see us getting married and spending our lives together. Sure, maybe that won’t be for a while but I constantly think about that. I love you so much, I just really want you to realize that.” You felt your eyes water and just smiled, hugging him tightly. “I love you so much, Calum.” You said into his neck, smiling even wider when he exchanged the words while kissing you head.

“We stood there for a minute or two, with John swaying gently against my arm. ‘I’m feeling better,’ he announced. Then he looked up at the stars. 'Wow…’ he intoned. 'Look at that! Isn’t that amazing?“
I followed his gaze. The stars did look good but they didn’t look that good. It was very unlike John to be over the top in that way. I stared at him. He was wired-pin-sharp and quivering, resonating away like a human tuning fork.
No sooner had John uttered his immortal words about the stars than George and Paul came bursting out on the roof. They had come tearing up from the studio as soon as they found out where we were.
They knew why John was feeling unwell. Maybe everyone else did, too - everyone except for father-figure George Martin here!
It was very simple. John was tripping on LSD. He had taken it by mistake, they said - he had meant to take an amphetamine tablet. That hardly made any difference, frankly; the fact was that John was only too likely to imagine he could fly and launch himself off the low parapet that ran around the roof. They had been absolutely terrified that he might do so.
I spoke to Paul about this night many years later, and he confirmed that he and George had been shaken rigid when they found out we were up on the roof. They knew John was having a what you might call a bad trip. John didn’t go back to Weybridge that night; Paul took him home to his place, in nearby Cavendish Road. They were intensely close, remember, and Paul would do almost anything for John. So, once they were safe inside, Paul took a tablet of LSD for the first time, 'So I could get with John’ as he put it- be with him in his misery and fear.

What about that for friendship?”

― George Martin, With a Little Help from My Friends: The Making of Sgt. Pepper