wow what have i done


Happy Birthday to this lovely girl, SHAI!! 😘

“Friends with benefits”

Rating: PG

Pairing: Luke Hemmings/Reader

Request: Yes!

‘Can you please do an imagine where you’re friends withbenefits with him but he wants more and you’re scared and stuff???’

A/N: I hope this is what you were wanting. I kind of just let it come as I was writing so idk what it turned into. I kind of changed It around a bit with the who falls in love with who thing but I hope you like it.

Part 2

The heat of his relaxed body was pressed against yours but your attention was anywhere else. You focused on the moon light shimmering across his white silk curtains and how the little beams of light stretched across the floor where it peered through the curtains. You were counting the moments of bliss before you would force yourself to leave, again.

It had become too usual of a routine, nearly every night ending in strewn clothes and heavy breathing while thoughts of self-pity and heartache consumed your tired mind like blackness consumes the light. You let yourself feel the hot fan of his breath against your naked shoulder for only a few more moments before forcing yourself up.

“Going?” He asked too casually. The pain hit you like a silent shot-gun in the gut and you weren’t sure whether leaving was the right choice. It was. It had to be.

“I have to go.” You whispered solemnly while collecting your clothes off the floor and pulling them back on, well aware of his watchful gaze on you. He didn’t say any words and didn’t try to stop you as you headed for the door; not that you would have expected him too.

Wait. You wish he would’ve said. Come back. Please stay with me tonight. I need you for more than just this.

You shook your head, dismissing the wishful and unrealistic thinking and escaping the building onto the deserted, street-lamp lit road and started the short walk back home. Nights like these your mind was always spinning. Spinning with impossible scenarios of happy endings and warm nights in Luke’s bed without the worry of having to leave. In your scenarios he wanted you to stay; to be his. You were never left walking home alone at 4 in the morning, the only noise being the gears turning in your head.

No strings attached. Had been the agreement and you had prayed to god that you could keep to it. You had failed though, miserably and so here you were night after night, the same thoughts spiraling through your head like clock-work. You knew you had to stop it, it wasn’t healthy for either of you to continue it. You would go crazy eventually, ruined and destroyed by the thought that you were just an object to him. A fragile, misused object that could break with the slightest poke.  

You unlocked the door to your dark hotel and went straight for the bathroom. No amount of scrubbing and lathering could wash away the pain the resided in the depths of your body; but you turned on the shower anyway. It was not supposed to feel this way, it was supposed to be good. It was supposed to be happy. Instead you felt empty and broken, like you had fallen so hard that you shattered your bones and was left in the pile of broken china.

You felt like you lost something you never had.

It was true, you still had Luke. Most nights were reserved for you and others you spend alone in your cold bed, curled into a ball and fighting your insomniac that had only started once the night became consumed with thoughts of Luke and what could be but never would. You were fully aware he didn’t express the same emotions for you in which you had for him but that only made it harder to move on.

You wanted out. More than anything, in fact, it was hard to even look at him anymore without the emotion pain that was now even becoming physical. You sat in the bottom of the tub as the water poured down over you. The water was scalding but you barley felt a sting. Your eyes felt heavy and dull and a permanent frown etched onto your once cheerful complexion.

It had only started getting bad about a week prior when you were at the club with your friend and you saw Luke leaving with another girl. You had been forcing yourself to ignore the slightest bit of feelings you were developing for the blonde boy with the piercing blue eyes but you couldn’t help the pain and unwanted jealousy explode in your body that night. Yes, you had assumed he still slept with other girls but you had decided that if you didn’t see it you didn’t care.

That changed quickly.

You found yourself thinking about all the other girls he has been with since the two of you started your thing. It seemed to be all you could think about during the nights when you were with him and you felt yourself slipping further and further away from sanity with each passing night without him permanently by your side. You wanted him and you wanted him to want you too.

The next morning you had made your decision. It had to end. You got dressed, unable to look at yourself in the mirror, knowing you would stare a little too long at the dark circles under your puffy eyes from the multiple sleepless nights and crying. You didn’t want it to end but you were content of getting rid of the aching pain inside your chest. You caught a cab to his place this time, figuring if you gave yourself the time to walk there you would probably change your mind before you got there.

No. This had to be done.

You heard your knuckles rap against his wooden door but you barely felt it. This would be the first time in weeks that he saw you in the day light; saw how much of a mess you were. Maybe if he was how miserable you were he would understand a bit more. Your heart still managed to do flips as he opened the door, wearing nothing but low hanging sweats.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked, surveying your face before letting his blue eyes rest on your dull ones.

“Can I come in?” You spoke softly and he nodded, stepping out of the way to let you slip past him and to your dismay, brushing against his body in the process. You stood inside his living room which looked different and more lively in the daylight.

“I think this needs to end.” You said, turning to face him. He sighed and ran his hands over his face and up through his hair.

“Y/N I-.” He started and closed his mouth again, not knowing what to say. He took in your broken appearance, the look of pure pain on your face and you stood before him saying the words that caused you actual pain to get out but somehow, you managed it. “What happened?”

Your eyes shifted from the ground up to his and you found yourself being pulled back in. You stopped yourself, as much as you wanted to just let it happen and be in his arms, numbing any pain you might be feeling.

“It’s not working. I don’t want this anymore.” You forced out through gritted teeth, refusing to look at him while you said it.

He couldn’t say anything more so he just nodded and let you walk past him again. You left his house alone again for what felt like the millionth time and the last time. You were free of the pain dragging you down. And as you walked back down the street, the cloudy gray sky matching your mood, you felt the tears slip down your face but continued on walking, your head as high as you could manage and kept telling yourself;

You’ll be okay.


Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

Wow. Hollence angst for the new year. And a little jab on second person pov. Well, here I go.

You contemplate whether you should go or not as you hold the wedding invitation in your hand. Of course, they would remember you. You were friends, are still friends after you moved out of Silas. After all these years, you still love her and it hurts.

Sometimes you hate yourself for wishing Carmilla’s death so you can keep Laura all to yourself. You remember the battle against the Light and how your heart, deep in grief, skipped because of the chance to be with Laura again. How horrible it is to be completely infatuated with someone because you found yourself saving your love rival so you can restore the smile the Light took away from Laura.

You find yourself calling and asking for a flight to Austria. They decide to hold the ceremony where they fell in love, where you and her also fell in love. You laugh it off or maybe get a drink or two.


When Laura walks with her dad, she is glowing, beautiful, and everything you hope her to be. Her hair is braided and her dress reminds you of luring vampires into traps, but in this case, it’s for luring vampires into a lifetime partnership.

Laura’s dad gives Laura to Carmilla who is in a suit. You heard Carmilla insisted on wearing a suit because it was black.

Laura flashes a smile you’ve never seen before. It is a smile reserved for true love and you wish it was for you. Carmilla, on the other hand, is trying to quickly wipe the tears from her eyes. You do too.

Ceremony goes by so fast because you weren’t paying attention. You think of other reunions you could have during your stay in Austria. Until the moment before they exchanged their vows.

“…speak now or forever hold your peace.”

You stand up as if on reflex and everyone is staring at you, but you don’t flinch. You see Perry, wide-eyed, and you expect Laura to have the same reaction but she’s looking at you with the intent to catch every word you say. You swallow and wipe your sweaty hands on your dress.

“I love you, Laura Hollis. I did and I still do,” you began. You purse your lips and find the right words to say.

“But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop you from marrying Carmilla because I know you deserve all the best. And the same goes to Carmilla.” You clench your fists.

“I love you and that’s the only thing I wanted you to know.”

You walk away from this point because you cannot afford to be seen bawling in public, but most of all, you cannot stomach she is so happy without you.

what if in the last harry potter book/film because of everything harry had gone through in his life and to destroy the horcruxes he just lost all emotion and never expressed them again and during the battle he and draco run into each other and draco is nervously pointing his wand out at harry and says “scared, potter?” and harry just gives him a blank look and a moment later he says

“i wish”