wow this is so shitty whatever

anonymous asked:

hey! wanted to drop this in, if canola's getting hate just because she was a girl taking a pic with them, then thats shitty, but most of what i saw were people who felt like she was using them for publicity. in the vid, she looked like she was doing them a service by hugging and talking to them?? like they were her fanboys or smthn? furthermore, when she took it, it felt like she was just getting on a popularity train and not being genuinely supportive like the other us artists were.

oh yikes I just saw it “oh wow there’s so many of you” or whatever like…really? girl bye

5

Sing Street (2016) - John Carney

5 bullets on this film:

  • Okay. I have been crying for about two hours because of this film, and I don’t even have feelings, so I don’t really understand what’s going on. It was one of the purest things I’ve seen this year and it made 2016 less shitty. This movie inspired me so much and now I feel ready to face 2017. Sing Street is beautiful, funny, sad, real, and wow, just go and watch it. 
  • THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK IS AMAZING, if you don’t want to watch the film that’s fine (whatever, you’re just missing a great movie), but please listen to the soundtrack because it’s almost perfect. Personally, this is my favorite one. 
  • The actors are amazing and the characters are really well developed, I now officially have a platonic crush on each one of them. I didn’t know Irish people were that cute.  
  • You can really notice that it’s well written, the dialogues are natural and there aren’t any boring scenes, I think the pace of this film is perfect. You know when you don’t want a movie to end? Yes, exactly. 
  • The main theme is music, but the moral is that you have to follow your dreams. Okay, that sounded terrible, but really, follow your dreams, because if you love what you do it means you’re good at it so you’re going to make it. I loved how the characters went through different musical styles before finding their own, and that’s it, if you keep doing your thing, everything will work out at the end.

basically whenever i see a white actress who has in the past done shitty racist things or accepted shitty whitewashed roles go on interviews and talk about how feminist they are and how they struggle as women my eyes roll very far back into my head 

i don’t want to hear what any of them have to say about womanhood or whatever until they start including woc in their feminism… like wow u talk about how you got asked a sexist question once and it’s so hard for u as a white women while taking roles meant for woc and failing to support woc like i don’t care abt your brand of feminism or your white woman struggles ™

i hit 600+ followers the other day, but i was in the middle of exams so i couldn’t do anything to celebrate. however, now that i am done, i can properly appreciate y’all. (i was gonna do a follow forever, but i feel awkward tagging people that don’t follow me.) anyway, thank you to everyone who follows me! i love you! 

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You mean, people who are fans of any form of media featuring villains might actually like those same said villains despite of their shitty behavior which includes murder, betrayal, torture, manipulation, bat-shit crazy world-views, twisted ideals and whatever horribleness your imagination might come up and STILL be able to make a difference between fantasy and reality and that liking something in a fictional sense doesn’t mean you condone the same actions in reality? NO WAY! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE, RIGHT!? ALMOST LIKE WE’RE SENSIBLE CREATURES WHO CAN THINK AND BEHAVE BEYOND JUST TWO BASIC DIMENSIONS! WOW! WHO WOULD’VE BELIEVED IT!

Your Year

Word Count: 1240

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Some angst, some self hate, mostly fluff, alcohol use 

A/N: Written for @one-shots-supernatural ‘s 10k followers challenge. My prompt was 1st New Year’s together and @avasmommy224 ‘s December Love challenge. My prompt was snowball and my gif is in the fic. 

I pretty much hate how this turned out. Like…more than I normally hate what I write. 


2006. The year you were supposed to get engaged to the love of your life. The year everything was supposed to fall into place. 2006 was gonna be your year! Until it wasn’t. You were spending New Year’s Eve alone in a bar, no job, no love life, and no foreseeable future. Happy 2006.

“Great.” You mumbled, walking out of the bathroom. You had secured the last seat at the bar and left your jacket there so nobody would take it, except some asshole clearly had other intentions. “Hey, asshole! Did the jacket hanging off the chair not indicate to you the seat was taken?” He turned from his friend and you recognized him instantly. As if those green eyes could belong to anyone else. Jensen fucking Ackles.

He had been your favorite actor for as long as you could remember. Of course you’d run into him while you were drunk and pathetic on New Year’s Eve and he’d be the dick that stole your seat. Of course he was just like every other Hollywood asshole on the planet. Why would you expect any different? “Fuck it, I’ll just go.” You snatched your jacket off the back of the chair and started to walk away when Jensen grabbed your wrist and turned you around.

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5

Who knows Tolkien’s elvish (Sindarin mode) should understand what Oilell said (And I hope I didn’t screw it, cause I learned it so long ago omg).

4th panel: I love you

9th panel: (that) I love you, dumbass (spelled on “Dumb one”, since all elvish insults using adjectives seem to be built this way :v)

Oilell’s truly speechless lmao

And I think I fell in love with chibis *v*



tbh idk what I’m doing. And now as I look at it, this comic feels shitty. But whatever… xD

Candy Store Reprise (Heather Chandler)
Mia again yeah hi
Candy Store Reprise (Heather Chandler)

so broadway-luv requested that I write another candy store reprise but for the scene in the beginning of the movie where Heather Chandler spits at herself in the mirror and yo I was so down for that another ‘it’s not summer-time so I’m perpetually sick+I wrote it in 45 min. and recorded it in one take’ shitty song by mia wow amazing:

/Gurgles water
 spits out water/
“Disgusting! Jesus!”

God, what did I do that for?
I should have just walked out the door.
Jesus, Heather, now you’re just a slut! A dirty whore!
You’re just a walking candy store.

“Gross, gross, gross, gross–EW!”

You’re definitely not a tease!
God, I let him get me on my knees!
He’ll make sure the whole world knows that I’m just easy!

“Shit!”

Veronica: “Oh–hey, Heather, you don’t look so hot–”
Heather: “I’m fine, Veronica! Just peachy!”
Veronica: “Okay, fine, Heather, whatever. But you can talk to me, you know, we’re friends now. I’ve got your back!”
Heather (to herself): Wait. Oh–you’ll do nicely.
Heather: “No, no, really. I’m perfect. Just a little too much to drink. Go enjoy the party, I’ll be out in a few!”
Veronica: “Oh–uh–okay.”

My scapegoat’s on the loose;
so I’ll string up her noose.
Let the public execution come.
But it won’t be me up on that leash,
it’ll be good little Veronica!

Honey whatchu waitin’ for?
Step into my candy store.
Here, you can come take the brunt of my mistakes and make them yours!
So step into my candy store.

It’s my candy store, it’s my candy.
You’re my candy store, you’re my candy!
They’re my candy store, they’re my candy store!

I won’t be your candy store.

I literally have to keep myself from hating people so much when shit like that goes down, I don’t mind that they disagree, I mind that I explicitly state precisely what kind of person I’m talking about in my posts and a bunch of asshats always make pointless reaches to project whatever their prefab argument is on my post so they can be a dick.

I am not talking about people who just ‘disagree’ with SJ posts. I’m talking about people whose blogs are devoid of actual analysis, experience or intellectual merit who literally just go around reblogging SJ posts that have been passed down through their shitty little friends so they can just go ‘OP is an idiot/lol SJWs are so lame/wow this post gave me cancer’

There are so many people who do just that and only that. They might specifically be anti-feminism, anti-…people-caring-about-racism, or whatever, or just anti-SJ in general, but the thing is they have NO actual investment in the improvement of relationships between humans. They have NO actual investment in actually bettering understanding between two parties. All they want to do is laugh at people they don’t agree with, and that’s easiest to do by belittling their point and positioning themselves as if every SJ argument is ~soooo ridiculous~. Meanwhile, their entire blog is 90% reblogs with very little original content, because without a fall boy, they have nothing funny to say. Without anyone to kick, they don’t have an argument to stand on.

Interestingly enough, since the once-a-year-flood-of-douchebags has flown in to my mentions, I’ve been playing with what they sound like these days and sadly they’re exactly the same. Any argument that touches on a fact of intersectional bigotry that they, personally, have never experienced, gets immediately thrown out as ludicrous. Words fail me when I attempt to describe just how podunk and uneducated it looks for a person to go WELL THAT SURE IS DUMB when it’s simply clear that it’s *new* to them. These are adults whose first reaction to something they don’t understand is THIS IS STUPID instead of just “I don’t get it”.

Also, not surprised at the amount of men still using the 4chanian logical fallacy where they go ‘oh you’re mad now haha I win’. Someone yesterday used that one and like, for those who haven’t dealt with it, it’s basically them taking the position that a discussion online is a Battle Of No Feelings and the first person to show emotion is the loser.

So, not only is that not what arguments or debates are about, but that’s also always 100% a front on their part. For instance, a guy yesterday landed on my dash after his lengthy back and forth with a mutual of mine about how, according to him, protesters in the streets deserved to get hit by his car because they were blocking traffic.

For the record, he admitted that he had never been stuck in traffic due to a protest. For the record, as far as I can remember on her behalf, both myself and my mutual have either been in traffic that simply detoured from a protest (Wow! You mean you don’t HAVE to run people over?), and I have been in protests where traffic was being directed around.

So first of all the entire situation his angry argument was based on was purely hypothetical. Second of all his understanding of how traffic and protests interact is uneducated because he’s either never actually been in one,driven up to one, or seen how traffic moves around them, and instead of ASKING what happens, this guy clearly just sat up in his head concocting a fantasy of driving up to one and being late for work, one that filled him with so much anger that he decided to write and DEFEND why he figured protesters deserved to get hurt and or die.

But his tactic, once I dealt with him, was ‘haha ur mad’.

And he’s not? Being so frustrated by imaginary traffic that you advocate vehicular homicide is not a neutral position.

But this comes down to men being awful. They really honestly feel that their misanthropy is neutral. Hate is, I regret to inform you all, a feeling.

And it’s hate and confusion that motivates people to constantly leech on to arguments aimed at bettering the world and constantly derailing them with pedantry, apathy, and just plain chuckefuck bullshittery. I don’t reblog even most of where my posts end up, but it’s been exhausting seeing how many people specifically dance around my point in order to build a nice strawman, when they could have just as easily not said anything if they didn’t agree. There’s nothing wrong with just letting someone be ‘wrong’ in your opinion if it’s not literally something that endangers people. People like this think they are doing something very noble by vigilantly attacking every slightly-different-and-more-empathetic-than-theirs stance on tumblr dot com, but the true reality is that it is an addiction

Arguing with people on the internet feels very good- so good that people enjoy watching it. Any time I do bother getting into discourse, someone ALWAYS sends me a congratulatory ask specifically talking about how GOOD they feel seeing it. It’s vicarious righteous anger. And it’s the same way those asshats feel, loading their blogs up with snarky one-line disses at the end of a feminist post they don’t like, or an anti-conservative post they don’t like, or a post about toxic masculinity they don’t like. They didn’t have anything to say, but it feels good to be able to shoot another arrow into your enemy, doesn’t it?

And people are chasing that feeling. That’s why I don’t like when I get compliments on discourse, and that’s why people will specifically twist my VERY simple fucking points in order to get a jab in.

It’s sad, it’s really, really sad.

A Kiss With A Fist

A little over 5k words of NurseyDex garbage (warning that they do sort of beat eachother up but it’s mutually negotiated after the very beginning)

Title comes from Florence and The Machine’s “A KIss With A Fist” which to me is a very Nurseydex song


The first time it happens they’re in the gym. They work in silence, and in tandem. Nursey finds it’s like that a lot with him and Dex, that they always work best together when neither one of them is speaking. For not the first time in Nursey’s life, the words are the problem.  

       What Nurse has noticed in their silence is how hard dex does everything. He seems to be trying to pour out all of his frustrations into whatever machine he’s on. Nurse can see it in the red of his skin and the white of knuckles. He smiles faintly. He’s been there. He’s lived in that place. It won’t work. Dex moves on to another machine, his movements becoming increasingly more violent. At this point his form has been forgotten, and he seems to be doing everything with an unnecessary amount of force, like he wants to hurt the machine. Or himself, Nursey’s brain supplies. The thought slightly terrifies him. It’s probably why the words slip from his mouth so easily

    “You can hit me.” He says before he can really think about it. He blinks. That wasn’t what he’d meant to say. He’s actually not quite sure he meant to say anything at all, but it’s too late, and now he’s finding that he meant it, even if just a little.  

     “What?” Dex asks breathing hard, and he’s giving Derek his, Nurse is a fucking idiot look, and Nursey finds himself comforted by the familiarity of it.

       “It’s dissatisfying.” He presses on “I know the feeling. You’re not gonna fix it working out. You’ll only hurt yourself.”

      “Yeah? Well fuck you Nurse.” Dex says, and he really sounds like he means it. Whatever it is that’s eating Dex seemed to be getting to him more than usual. It hurt Derek to see him in pain.

       “But see, that’s what I’m saying” he advances on Dex, who’s back is turned to him as he takes a drink of water  “You need some sort of release from whatever it is that’s eating you up. I know you Will, you’re used to solving problems with your hands, yeah? My friend David was the same way.”

   “So you let him hit you?” Dex has turned around now, and he’s actually looking at Nurse likes he’s a class A idiot. It makes him blush just a little.

    “Yeah man, as long as I wasn’t the one he was mad at.” He sizes Dex up, though it’s mostly for show. He’s spent enough time looking at him to know the dimensions of his body. That, and more. “He was about your size and build, so it’s not like he would do much damage.” He sees Will stiffen, but he still refuses to meet his eyes. “I mean, I’m just trying to help…unless you wanna be a pussy about it. Whatever that’s chill…”

     It was a low blow and he knows it, and Shitty would be appalled, but he know it will piss Dex off. It does the trick though, because Dex is on him as fast as he can blink, only he can’t blink, because Dex just punched him square in the face, and oh wow that hurts. For Nurse’s part he doesn’t flinch much, but his hands do fly to his eye almost immediately. He can’t really see much out of his left eye, but he does catch the absolute look of horror on Dex’s face before he grabs his stuff and bolts without a word.

  At least he didn’t apologize, Nurse thinks, rolling over in pain .

              Dex is able to avoid Nurse for the rest of the day, but of course he’s at team breakfast. In true Nurse fashion he tries to downplay the whole thing, but leave it to Ransom and Holster to make a lay out of anything. Literally.

    It starts with Ransom noticing the bruise and loudly exclaiming “Whoa Nursey, bro! What the fuck happened!” which of course grabs the attention of Holster.

    “Nurse what the fuck! Were you in a title fight?” he asks, twice as loudly as Ransom had. This of course calls the attention of the rest of team. Dex wants to disappear. He waits for Nursey to blame him. He readies himself to jump up and start an argument about how “he told me too!” and about how Nurse was all up in his face.  That’s not what happens.

    “Yeah well you should see the other guy.” Is all that Nurse says. He doesn’t look at Dex either. Instead he turns to Holster, and starts up and argument about The Office versus 30 Rock, presumably to distract him. Dex is confused. Dex is also not hungry.  

             He finds Nurse in the gym sometime later. He’s doing squats with a ten pound weight. He likes to start small. His back is turned to Dex, so Dex can’t really see the damage he did. He watches Nurse’s form for a moment longer than he should.

    “I didn’t like that.” Is what he says. For a moment he’s not sure Nursey will get it, but that fear goes away almost instantly. Nursey always knows what he means, even when he doesn’t know himself.

    “Okay.” Nurse says back evenly. He does not stop squatting, except to change up weights. He goes up to thirty.

     They work in silence for a bit. Dex stretches, and tries not to let his eyes linger to long on the way his tattoo moves as he curls the weight.

    “Can I see it?” Dex asks into the mostly silent room. Nursey has his weird hipster music on, but Dex chooses to ignore that. Again he has a split second of fear that Derek won’t get him, as he goes in for another lunge, but that fear is swapped out for a new one as Nurse drops the weight and crosses the room to get to Dex.

     “Yeah.” He says once they’re only inches apart.

      His hands are on Nurses face before he can stop them. He lets his thumb brush gently over the purpling bruise on the cut of Nurse’s cheekbone. He does it again, and again. The fourth time he applies a bit of pressure. Nurse doesn’t flinch, but he does hiss, a sharp intake of air through his teeth.

      “I didn’t like that.” Dex repeats. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” Hit you. He’d meant to say hit you.  

       “Hey Poindexter chill, I told you to do it.” Dex steps away shaking his head.    

       “I can’t believe you just let a guy hit you!” he said “I mean you’re chill, but you’re not that chill.” He sees Nursey smile at the familiarity of the chirp.

       “Well he didn’t just hit me, I hit him back too.” Dex pauses.

        “You fought a guy just for kicks?” he didn’t even try to hide the surprise in his face.

         “Back then I had a lot to fight about.” Nurse says, and it’s the kind of vague that only a writer could pull off.

        “Okay…” Dex says slowly, “Then lets do that.” The words come as a surprise to him, but he hardly wants to take them back. “I don’t just wanna whale on you, how is that fair? It only makes sense if you fight back…right?” he finishes with a level of uncertainty.

       “Alright.” Nurse says after a few second’s hesitation “But there are rules. First rule, we only fight when it’s not each other we’re mad at. That keeps it from getting real.” And the way he says it, with this far off look in his eyes, makes Will wish that Nurse could just talk like a regular person for once.

    “That makes sense.” Dex says with a nod.

   “Second rule, no hitting in the face.” Nurse says, and he must see the way Dex flinches because he adds “yesterday didn’t count, I didn’t tell you.” and then to lighten the mood “Chill, Poindexter.” Will rolls his eyes and slugs him.

    “And we can’t do it here.” Nurse says surveying the area. Dex frowns.

    “Then where?” he asks. Nurse smiles at him, and he gets a jolt as he’s reminded of the static of his hand on Nursey’s face.

      “I know a place.”

         “This is the wrestling room.” Dex says, sounding doubtful, and Nurse can’t help but roll his eyes.

   “Yes Poindexter, as the sign on the door would suggest.” For that he gets a pinch on his upper arm.

    “How do you have access?” he asks as Derek turns on the light.

    “It’s their off season and I know a guy.” Nurse supplies. Andy. He’d been nice, a decent lay too. But there was just something about him that had forced Nurse to end it. Something was off. He’d kept his key though. The gym had wall-to-wall mirrors that he and Andy had made great use of during their brief two-week stint.

     “Cool.” Dex says, looking around. Nurse tries not to think about what he and Andy had done here, and what that means for him and Dex. He fails.

     They put their stuff away and then meet up in the middle of the floor.

    “Whenever you’re ready.” Nurse says loftily. He tries to be cool about this, but his skin is buzzing. He wonders if Dex can hear it.

     They circle each other for a moment. Two. Three.

  “This feels weird.” Dex says after a second, though he doesn’t stop moving. Nursey thinks.

   “Ah!” he says after a minute. “It’s because it’s so quiet.” He holds up a finger, then jogs to the side. It only takes him a second to rig up his music to his bluetooth speaker, the one he uses in the gym. He barely thinks for a second before turning on Florence and The Machine. Florence always makes him think of Dex, a fiery redhead who isn’t afraid to yell. The thought makes him chuckle as he returns to the mat.

    This time they don’t talk. They circle each other exactly three times before Dex lunges.  

     It happens the second their hands touch, the incessant buzzing in Nursey’s skin, the thing which he used to confuse with for annoyance, but which he’d recently discovered was something else altogether, it amped up ten fold. His body is screaming, just to be near Dex, it’s singing.

He had Dex pinned in under a minute, but Dex didn’t go down easy. He pushed Nursey until they rolled over and he was on top, starring down at Nursey with determined eyes and a wrinkle in his brow. Derek could do this all day.

           They almost do. It’s dark outside by the time they leave and Dex’s muscles ache in the best way. He glances at Nurse as he locks up, his hair a mess of frizzy curls. He’s grinning. Nurse hates it when people try and touch his hair. He tries to act all chill about it, but anyone who’s shared a hotel room with him on a roadie knows just how long it takes to style it in that so-called “effortless” way. That had been the first thing he’d though of when he had Nursey pinned, he’d though about getting a hand in that hair. He didn’t get to have a second though because Nursey had flipped them over.

    He was talented, that was for sure. He moved Dex around like he weighed nothing, and he was quick to think of the next move. Nursey fought the way he did everything else, Dex realized, with a hidden calculation, so meticulous and specific to himself that most would think it was never planned at all. Most, but not Dex.

     “Hey Poindexter!” Nurse says, snapping Dex from his thoughts.

      “What Nurse?” he asks surprised at the lightness in his voice.

       “First rule of fightclub, don’t talk about fightclub.” Nursey winks, and then turns to walk in the direction of his dorm. Dex flips him off behind his back, and even though Nurse doesn’t see it, Dex is sure he knows.

      

         Things change after that. He and Nurse don’t argue any less, but he finds their words have far less heat behind them. They definitely play better. If Dex though they connected well on the ice before, there was a whole other layer now.  They also touch each other more. It’s subtle, just gentle brushes when they’re walking together, or putting their arms around the back of each other’s chairs at breakfast, but it’s surprisingly nice.

     Of course things still go wrong. Dex is pretty sure he bombs an important test, and his mother calls and rants at him for an hour about something his sister did like he can somehow fix it, but then he and Nurse meet up and they tussle, and Nursey lets him let go. When their together it’s like he can just…breathe. Everything is going pretty darn well that is, until Nurse gets a girlfriend.


        Nurse ignores one of his texts. In the entirety of their friendship, Nursey had never done that. He’s actually a little bit worried until he sees Nursey at team breakfast the next day. He swaggers in like every other day, except it seems a lot more natural. He has this little smirk on his face that just won’t move, even when he gets jam on his sweatshirt. It takes Dex a minute, but he eventually realizes with abject horror that this is Nursey’s “just got laid” face. He’d seen it before, but not in months. Suddenly he isn’t hungry at all.

    To add insult to injury he seems to be the only one that didn’t know about it, because apparently Nurse was with Ransom when he met the girl, who then went and told the whole Haus afterwards. Dex was studying and hadn’t been present. He feels like he might vomit.      He watches the other guys chirp Nursey about it and make jokes and his chest feels tight,

   “Her name was Orion.” Nursey is saying, trying to hide his faint blush.

    “C’mon Nurse that’s nothing!” Holster chides.

    “Yeah, you can do better man.” Ransom agrees.

   Nurse sighs as if he’s being put-upon “Well, she has a tattoo of Orion’s belt.” He tries.

    “Okay, but where?” Ransom says, and he and Holster are wearing twin expressions of curiosity. Dex’s nails bite into the palms of his hands. Nursey doesn’t answer, he simply raises an eyebrow at them as if to say “where do you think?” and then kicks back in his chair.

    Dex is angry.

     When breakfast ends Dex approaches Nurse and waits until he’s done chatting with Lardo. He bites his lip as he waits.

    “Nurse!” he says once they’re done.  He’s starting to itch at the back of his neck, right where his hair tapers off.

    “Yeah Dex?” Nursey asks easily, like nothing is wrong. For him nothing is ever wrong.

    “We need to meet up later today.” Is what Dex says. He’s trying not to sound as desperate as he feels. The truth is he really wants to hit something. He really wants to hit Nursey.

    “Nah.” Nursey says.

    “What?” Dex asks, because not once in this whole arrangement has Nursey ever told him no.

      “Dex you’re breaking a rule.” Nursey says sagely. Dex isn’t angry anymore. He’s livid.

      “What the fuck are you on Nurse? I haven’t done anything.” Dex demands. He doesn’t get it.

      “Rule number one, we don’t fight if it’s me you’re mad at.” Nurse says as he collects his bag, and then he just leaves. Just like that.

     Dex wants to call after him and ask what the fuck he’s talking about, he wants to chase after Nurse and tell him that he’s not mad at him, but he knows he’d be lying, and somehow that makes him madder than anything.

     

         It only gets worse. They meet up a couple of times while Nurse is dating Orion, but it doesn’t seem to be working anymore. Usually when they fight it feels like he’s getting rid of all his anger, but now he leaves feeling even worse, even angrier. He doesn’t tell Nurse this though because he doesn’t want to stop, he never wants to stop. For one thing, their meet-ups are pretty much the only time he can hang out with Nurse without him talking about Orion. They don’t really talk at all these days. It’s more Dex listening to Nurse talk about things he and Orion do together. He hates this so much and he doesn’t know what to do, so he ultimately does the wrong thing.

   Dex isn’t expecting Orion to be in the Haus when he comes in. He’s gone a good month without having to meet her and he planned on still not having met her when she and Nurse broke up. When she was nothing more than a memory. That’s why he’s so thrown when he comes into the Haus to see her sitting at the table in the kitchen. Bitty is making a pie, and Nurse is rifling through the fridge. At first no one sees him, but then he hears his name from somewhere behind him.

     “Hey Dex!” Holster says, followed closely behind by Ransom “You’re just in time, Bitty’s making a pie! Chocolate pecan!” they heard him, into the kitchen, and next thing Dex knows he’s sitting at the table opposite Orion. She’s pretty, Dex has to admit, with huge brown eyes and radiant skin. She has a huge mass of curly hair and she even has freckles. Dex’s hand goes to his face subconsciously.

     ‘Hey, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Orion.” She says with a smile. She seems perfectly friendly. Dex hates her. He doesn’t answer, just kind of gives her a nod, which is maybe a little rude, but he’s sure she’s gonna get over it.

     “Orion! Dude!”  Ransom says “are you gonna try Bitty’s pie! It’s the best!”

      “I guarantee it’s probably the best thing you’ll ever taste.” Holster supplies.

       “Well, aside from Nursey” Ransom says slyly and then he and Holster are high- fiving across the table while Nurse shrugs coolly. Dex scoffs louder than he meant to.

        “Actually since it’s chocolate I won’t be having any. No offense Bitty, but the chocolate industry is widely know for using child slaves to harvest cacao.  I choose not to eat most supermarket brand chocolates to make a statement.”

     The kitchen is silent.  No one says anything. Bitty looks noticeably uncomfortable, and Ransom and Holster are exchanging looks. Dex refuses to look at Nurse.

        “Well gee, it wasn’t like we were gonna eat that pie or anything.” Dex says when no one says anything.  “I mean you basically just insinuated that we’re all terrible people.”

    “Dex c’mon,” Nursey says “she clearly didn’t mean it that way.” He looks genuinely annoyed by Dex’s antics, and good, he should, because Dex was suddenly so tired of this. He was tired of all of it.

       “You know Nursey, you sure know how to pick em’. What’s next? You gonna tell me that the shirt I’m wearing was made by an enslaved race of Oompa Loompas?” Dex leers.

        “Well actually-“ Orion starts, but Nurse stops her with a hand to her chest as he stand up.

        “Dex man, you need to chill the fuck out, and shut the fuck up, okay?” Nursey says forcefully.

          “Hey, guys…” Holster says looking on nervously between them.

          “You know what Nurse, fuck you, I don’t halfta listen to anything you say. You’re not my dad.” Dex challenges standing up to match Nursey.

           “Fine whatever, just leave Orion alone man.” Nurse snarls. But Dex won’t leave it alone. It’s almost like he can’t.

             “And there you go defending her again like she didn’t come in here and shit allover Bittle’s pie. What the fuck Nurse? Ever heard of ‘bros before hoes’?” and he knows how bad the words are as soon as they leave his mouth.  He knows that he basically just called Nurse’s girlfriend a hoe. But he can’t stop. He’s burning up from the inside out and he can’t stop it. He’s on fire.

           And then Nurse says “Poindexter, outside. Now.”

Dex’s heart stops in his chest. Nurse turns and leaves. Everyone is looking at Dex, probably wondering if he’ll go.

 He goes.

 He runs, ducks Ransom and Holster and ignores Bitty when he calls out for him, and he runs outside. Nursey is pacing on the lawn. When hears Dex come out onto the porch, he looks up and they lock eyes, and Dex’s skin feels like ice. He descends the stairs without a word.

    They don’t talk.

   Nurse throws the first punch, and the second. Dex tackles him. He’s only on top for a second before Nursey has them flipped. He turns Dex over again and has his arm behind his back before Dex knows what’s happening. He realizes that all those times before they were holding back, that this is the real deal. Dex is able to twist out of Nursey’s grip but the sound his shoulder makes is not promising. He throws his weight and manages to get Nurse off of him, but not for long. He’s being dragged back by his ankle in mere seconds. From where he is he can see Bitty, Ransom, Holster, and Orion on the porch looking on in horror. Suddenly he regrets everything.

     He’s under Nurse before he can say anything. Nurse has an arm across his throat and his fist raised above Dex’s face and Dex fucked up. He fucked up and he’s sorry and he doesn’t want to hurt anymore.  I love you, he thinks as he looks up at Derek. And this is the absolute worse time to realize, but it doesn’t matter because he fucked up.  I love you, I love you, I love you, please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry.

   Derek doesn’t hit him.

    He could if he wanted, but instead he lowers his fist as his face blanches. He stares at Dex for a minute, as if he’s looking right into his mind, so Dex thinks it louder. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I love you.  

        Derek stands, and he leaves.

          Nursey is having a panic attack. The events of the last three hours playing back on loop again and again every time he closes his eyes. He’d mastered the art of the silent panic attack long ago, but his roommate wasn’t home, so he’d been crying pretty loudly for the past half hour. He eventually gets his breathing under control and thinks about what his therapist in New York used to say. She would always ask him if he had someone to talk to when things went wrong, someone who would understand the situation. He thinks, and then he calls David.

   “Davey?” he says, hating how croaky and broken and not-chill he sounds. There’s a rustling in the background and then-

   “Hello?” he sounds disoriented, shit should I have called?

   “Hey, David.” He says tentatively.

    “Derek?” David says, sounding more awake “Wassup man? Long time no talk! You alright?”

      “David I played the game.” Derek says, because that’s what they had called it when they’d made it up. “The game.”

“Derek, what?” David asks sounding confused.

  “The game, David” he says more forcefully, and he can practically hear the moment it clicks through the phone, the soft gasping sound David makes.

    “Derek…what happened?” David asks cautiously. Nurse looks out his window and watches a bird peck listlessly at the concrete.

    “I won.”

   

      He tells the story from the beginning, (“Fuck Derek, you let him hit you?”)  he tells about the way he always wants to be near Dex, and about the buzz, he tells about how sometimes when they fought and Dex smiled down at him, he could feel the potential, he could feel what they could be, he tells about how he filled up almost an entire journal with poems and doodles and thoughts of Dex since the moment they met, and about how well they connect on the ice.

    “It’s like he can read my mind Dave.” He moans.

     “But Derek if  you’re so into him why don’t you just ask him out?” David asked, confused.

     “Because David, he’s not into dudes at all. He’s like super conservative and I tried not to think about it or to get over it, but Dave its always gonna be him.”

     “So then why did you play with him Derek? How would that have helped you? You tortured yourself.” David sounded disappointed, and Nurse understood.

      “I thought I was helping him, we did it and we were just friends!” Nursey protests weakly.

    “Yeah and then we fucked each other’s brains out afterwards! It’s not the same and you know it. You know how this ends Derek, and you did it anyway. You know how it ended for us…” David trails off, and Nursey finds himself desperately wanting to apologize for what happened with David, wanting to apologize for not being able to stay.  

        “David I fought him for real, I never meant…” he let his words fade, because in all honesty he had meant to fight. He had meant to fight for Dex. He just hadn’t thought about how that would entail fighting Dex himself.

          “Derek you have to tell him.” David said with finality. “When you and I…when we…look. I’m glad I told you Derek. I’m glad we were able to work it out because even if it didn’t end up the way I wanted, it ended up the way I needed.”

            Nursey stayed silent.

            “Derek, promise me. Promise me you’ll tell him.” David begged, and Nursey couldn’t say no to David. Not after all he’d put him through. You have to trust, his therapist would have said, you called for a reason.

              “I will Dave.” He said into the phone, trying to sound strong “I promise.”

       

          He and Orion broke up at Annie’s while they were in line waiting for their coffee. She took hers to go. Nursey wasn’t exactly sad, he just felt kind of awful for putting her through so much. He didn’t tell her exactly why because he felt that that would make it worse. Orion was not Dex’s biggest fan.

         The walk back to the haus was more like a jog, coffee going cold in his hand, because the closer he got, the more his skin buzzed. He’d missed the feeling. He knew this wouldn’t be easy, but he was ready to fight for Dex. He was ready to try.

       He peaked around the door before advancing towards the kitchen. Dex was crouched over the oven as Bitty stood to the side looking anxious.

      “Bits, can I borrow Dex for a minute?” he asked clearing his throat. Dex’s head snapped up as soon as he started speaking, and he stared at Nurse with something indescribable in his eyes. He looked tired, and maybe a little bit afraid of Nursey. That made his stomach sour.

       “Will, I’ll be out on the porch.” He said, trying to sound normal. Trying to sound like he wasn’t bursting out of his skin.

     He went outside and waited.

        Dex was having Déjà vu. The last time Derek had asked him outside they’d had a real fight. He still ached allover from being pinned down. Last night he’d had a nightmare about the way Nurse had look with his fist cocked back ready to strike. In his nightmare, Nurse had landed the blow.

    It wasn’t the hit was afraid of, he’d taken punches before. He was afraid of what came after. He was afraid he’d blown his chance by being an ass because he didn’t know how to tell Nurse how he felt.

         He was afraid to lose.

     “Dex, honey, you know you don’t have to go, right?” Bitty said somewhat nervously. He could clearly see the fear on Dex’s face. He probably thought Dex was afraid of being beat up. That was the least of his worries.

     “Yeah Bitty, yeah I do.” Dex said with sigh, he stood up and put the wrench in Bitt’s hand. His skin felt like ice. He walked outside.

       For a moment neither of them say a word. They just stand and watch the grass. It takes Nursey a minute to find the words, as those always seem to be the problem with him and Dex.

     “I’ll talk and you listen, and then you talk and I listen. We don’t interrupt. Got it?” they don’t look at each other.

      “Yeah.” Dex responds faintly.

      “I’m sorry about all of this. I wasn’t completely honest about how this ended between my friend and I that did this in the past. He and I were also having sex after the fighting part, and he ended up getting feelings for me that I didn’t return. I know how intense this is, and how dangerous, and I did it anyway because… I’ve dated two people since I got to Samwell. Andy and Orion. Neither of them was right for me. I was…projecting. I wanted what I couldn’t have and I wasn’t being honest with myself. You…Will you drive me insane. I thought I knew what it was to want and then you showed me that I really really didn’t.” Nursey gave a strangled laugh and took a deep breath “I guess what I’m saying is I’ll fight. If that’s what it takes I’ll fight because Will, when I’m with you I feel…you’re it for me, and I mean, if you wanted I’d fight you for the rest of my life. As long as I knew that we would always be fighting together. As long as we would be fighting for each other.” Nursey turns to look at Dex but Dex is already looking. He has been the whole time.

   For a moment neither of them speaks.

“I love you Derek.” Dex says “I was stupid and awful and horrible at showing it but that’s why. That’s why everything is so hard between us. I was never fighting you. I was fighting my feelings, and-“ Derek kisses the apology form his mouth. He can’t not. They kiss the way they play hockey, and the way they fight, and they way they do everything else together. They kiss with fire. Dex is burning up from the inside out. He can feel himself melting into Nursey and it feels better than anything else. Nursey’s skin is singing again and he can hear the blood rushing in his ears and he can feel his heart beating against Will’s chest, and he finds that he quite likes this song.

   “You weren’t supposed to interrupt me.” Dex says against his mouth. Nursey gives a laugh and watches how Dex’s eyes crinkle when he smiles. Crow’s feet.

    “Are you mad?” he asks lacing their fingers together. He watches the red of Dex’s skin as he stares at their entwined hands, and he revels in the white of his knuckles as Dex squeezes just a bit tighter.

      “No.” Dex answers honestly.

SMH as quotes from my squad group chat
  • Bitty: I've eaten an entire lasagna by myself but I still can't swallow ur bullshit
  • Jack: normally in stressful situations I just say "oh dear" under my breath over and over until everything is less screamy
  • Holster: if I sucked a dick one time does that make me the gay cousin
  • Ransom: the only reason I got the homework done was because I read the whole thing out loud in a 1950s announcer voice tbh
  • Shitty: listen, I found some Obama/Shrek smut, and it's actually not that bad
  • Lardo: if u ever find urself in a gross white boy flirting situation, just hit him with the old 'man in a cow suit'... he will stop
  • Nursey: i know I told you to calm down before but I was wrong, right now I need you to scream into the abyss with me
  • Chowder: apparently girls don't like it when you'd rather watch Toy Story 2 than make out with them.... whatever
  • Dex: quick someone send a meme so I want less to end my own life
  • Tango: I feel like you're secretly Canadian [no one responds for like ten minutes] ...is Canada even real?
  • Whiskey: I wrote you a poem because I love you: roses are red violets are blue you're trash and your eyebrows are gross. That's it. The end.
  • (Alternate Shitty): wow man, I'm lit like a glow stick
  • Bonus- Fry Guy: if you ever do that again im going to march to your house, grab u by ur frizzy ass ponytail and swing you around like that little pigtailed bitch from Matilda

By around 7:30 AM, the storm of last night has blown out to the Atlantic. The sun hits this side of the Haus earlier than it did in Jack’s old room. He stirs.

Jack pulls himself away from the warm circle of Bitty’s arms (because he might be a Southern boy, and small, but crisse he’s a human radiator). He finds the shirt that Bittle had kept, weeks ago, and tests the dryness of his trousers. They’re still damp. He pads across the hallway to Lardo’s room and knocks quietly. Just as he expected, it’s Shitty, and not Lards, who answers the door.

“Jack!” Shitty yells too loudly, and then, realizing the hour, repeats it in a stage whisper. “Jack mother-fucking Zimmerman, what the fuck–?”

“Shh. Shitty, listen, I need pants.”

“What?”

“I need a pair of pants. Did you bring any extra?”

Shitty regards him shrewdly for a moment. To his credit, he doesn’t ask why the fuck Jack is standing in the Haus hallway in just a shirt, nor does he even bother to chirp him about the implications of stepping out in his shorts only. “Maybe Holster’s got some that’ll stretch down the length of those pistons you call legs,” Shitty says instead. He ventures up to the attic, still quiet in deference to the sleeping Hausmates. 

A few seconds later, Shitty returns with an old pair of SMH sweatpants. “Here.” Jack makes a grunt of gratitude and shoves his legs through, pulls the waistband up as high as it goes. 

“Okay, explain,” Shitty says, and lord, Jack can hear the courtroom oration tactics he’s been studying. 

“I came up last night to…to see Bittle,” Jack says. “He called me, and…” he clears his throat. This is unexpectedly difficult, even with Shitty. But Bitty needs the support, so he forces himself to continue. “We, uh, we’ve been… Since graduation.” He prays Shitty can fill in the blanks himself.

Shitty’s eyes widen. “Oh my fucking God,” he hisses. “Fucking shit on a–but, Camilla! And…and…” He runs a hand over the flow that’s been steadily growing out for months now. “Fuck me with a rusty duck,” he concludes. “Jesus, Jack. Remember when Marksy, Keester, Janey Brandt, and Carole McGinnis all came out to me in the same week? Why the hell didn’t you think you could tell me?”

J’en sais,” Jack says with a shrug. “I just…had enough going on already, eh?”

“Did Johnson know?”

He shrugs again. “Probably. You know what he’s like. He’d probably just say something like, ‘Dating Camilla, Kate, and Samantha was a classic case of narrative misdirection,’ eh?”

“Yeah, whatever that means,” Shitty frowns. “So. You and Bitty. Really?”

“Yes.” Jack holds his gaze, waiting for approval or condemnation, and he’s not sure which he’s more prepared to hear. 

“Wow. Well, I shoulda known something was going on there. I’m sorry, man, I really am. I’ve been a crappy friend.”

“No, you haven’t. I just–you know.”

“Yeah. NHL career can’t be easy and then to be the first out player in the league?”

“Right.” Jack puts his hands on his hips. “But now…Bitty’s having a hard time of it–we both are, if I’m honest–and I want him–us–to be able to share this with at least some of our friends.”

“Who else are you going to tell? I mean…shit, Jack, you drove up here in the middle of the night. In the middle of a fucking Nor’easter.”

“Well…we haven’t talked about it yet. But. I wanted to tell you, myself.” He punches Shitty lightly in one shoulder. “I’m going back in Bitty’s room, now, but once we figure it out, I’m thinking Jerry’s for brunch.” Dimly he remembers an optional skate today, but he’ll call and say he’s opting out.

“Cool. Sounds good.” Shitty stares, still a little wide-eyed, his bare feet making the floor boards creak as he bounces a tiny bit. 

“So. You and Lardo, eh?” Jack says with a wink.

“Oh, shut the fuck up. Go wake up your boyfriend.” They share a chuckle and duck back into their partners’ rooms.

Lardo mutters sleepily as Shitty climbs back under the covers. “Wazzat?” she asks and flips over to press into his neck.

“That was me being a heteronormative asshole,” Shitty answers.

“Huh?”

“Nothing. I think I’m just channeling my inner Johnson.”

Lardo giggles. “Well, c’mere, and why don’t you channel your outer one….”

His last thought before eagerly complying is to hope that across the hall, Jack and Bitty are half as pleasantly occupied.

plus, and idk if I can make this make sense in English but like

Your astrological chart is apparently supposed to basically be a map ofthe universe as it was the moment you were born. Wow! Cool! That’s very neat.

But like, the experiences you have after your birth are the main things that form your ‘mundane ego’/personality/basic consciousness or whatever. Pretty sure your astrological chart is more to do with your internal sunconsciousness or more of a more metaphysical body so blaming your bad attitude or shitty eating habits or how you don’t get along with so and so on astrology is just like….dude that stuff is a result of your experiences/memories/conditioning. THat’s surface level shit.

I don’t think you can really ‘do’ astrology, as a metaphysical thing, when you’re trying to apply it to the physical/mundane self instead of your more ‘cosmic’ self if that makes sense. The non-ego, the soul, whatever. That shit is very subbbbconscious for most people and most of y’all have done very little deep mental work so you’re not even accessing that part of yourself. It’s like using a meteorological map to get through city streets.

  • I’m having a lot of eileen prince feels
  • girl was trapped in an abusive relationship and had to watch her son escape to a magic castle every year while she stayed behind
  • she was a bigot and raised her son a bigot and yet she married a muggle???
  • super powerful witch probably because look at snape, who whatever you may think of him, was an undeniable badass
  • she was most likely at hogwarts at the same time as tom riddle but she wasn’t in his fan club in slughorn’s memory so yeah
  • and she won potion awards and shit like wow she wasn’t conventionally pretty or popular and screw that why should men have a monopoly on being gangling sociopathic assholes and still having tons of sex appeal?
  • how about more female characters who have kind of shitty personalities because they’re hard as nails because for some people that’s what you have to be to get by
  • SNAPE’S MOM FANDOM

why the idea that “hate breeds hate” is toxic, oppressive, and false:

  • it blames oppressed groups for the actions of their oppressors. oppression exists because privilege exists and bigotry exists, not because oppressed groups are big ol’ meanies or whatever.
  • it shifts the focus of the discussion from that actual problem. sorry if i don’t consider privileged people’s hurt feelings to be the actual problem.
  • it is used to discredit the (rightful) anger of oppressed groups
  • you are basically saying “well if women/poc/lgbtqiap+ people were nicer we wouldn’t have these problems.” newsflash: it doesn’t actually work like that.
  • it's only ever used to discount the actions of oppressed people. no one ever looks at the american revolution or whatever and goes “wow if those white men were nicer to great britain things would have worked out so much better”
  • it’s a form of tone policing, which is shitty all around.
  • politely asking people to stop being oppressive has literally never gotten anyone anywhere. please stop acting like it has.
Defend Nile Dawk 2k15 begins...NOW

All you kids hating on Nile Dawk annoy the heck outta me.

First of all, “HOW DID A GUY LIKE THAT GET A GIRL LIKE”

FUCKING HELL. THIS PISSES ME OFF. You don’t even know what Marie looks like. For all you know she ugly as hell. AND EVEN IF SHE’S NOT IT SHOULDN’T FUCKIN MATTER WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE. SHE CHOSE TO MARRY NILE U PLEBIANS.

“BUT ERWIN SMITH LOVED HE–”

MAYBE ERWIN SMITH ISN’T A PIECE OF SHIT DIRTBAG LIKE YOU WHO THINKS LOOKS > ALL. WHAT A CONCEPT. MAYBE ERWIN SMITH IS SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT MARIE WAS BETTER OFF WITH A GUY WHOSE HEAD WASN’T SHOVED UP HIS LIFE GOAL’S ASS AND HE WAS GLAD THAT GUY WAS A FRIEND OF HIS CAUSE HE KNEW MARIE WOULD BE LOVED AND CHERISHED BY HIM.

“BUT NILE IS MILITARY POLI–”

YEAH CAUSE PROFESSIoN TOTALLY DETERMINES WORTHINESS OF MARRIAGE AND SHIT AH AHAHAHAHA N O.

“BUT ERWIN–”

ERWIN FUCKIN’ SMITH WAS NILE’S FRIEND AND IS STILL NILE’S FRIEND AND IS ACTUALLY ON NILE’S SIDE AND CARES ABOUT NILE’S FUCKIN’ HAPPINESS this is not a difficult concept.

“BUT NILE IS UGL–”

Nile isn’t ugly. Do you even know the definition of ugly? Just because Nile isn’t depicted like Erwin doesn’t mean he’s unattractive. The people who think Nile is ugly are the same people who think Connie doesn’t deserve Sasha and Auruo doesn’t deserve Petra because they don’t have smooth-as-a-baby’s-ass faces with a full head of thick and shiny blond hair.

I’M SO IRRITATED OVER THIS IDEA THAT LOOKS MEAN THAT MUCH TO SHITTY FUCKING NERDS WHO SPEND THEIR TIME SURFING TUMBLR. Wow, well–I’m sorry that Nile looks like a man who could actually exist in the world. I’m sorry that Connie’s not some kind of bishie hottie (whatever the hell that even means) like Levi. I’m sorry that the lines in Auruo’s face make him somehow so ugly that he doesn’t deserve the love and affection of another fuckin’ human being.

You know what? I hate the fuckin’ idea that someone “doesn’t deserve” someone else because of how they look. Mind your own goddamn business. Do you say that shit to people IRL? I bet you’re a real fuckin’ treat to be around. Learn some humility maybe.

Marie married Nile. Yeah, that’s right: she didn’t pick Erwin. SHE DIDN’T PICK ERWIN. SHE PICKED THE “UGLIER” MAN. SHE FUCKING DID. SO WHAT? WHY ARE YOU CALLING HER JUDGMENT INTO QUESTION? WHY DOES IT MATTER? WHY IS IT SO SHOCKING THAT SHE’D WANNA FUCK NILE? IS LOVE NOT ENOUGH FOR U PLEBS? DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS? ARE YOU CONFUSING LUST OF ANIME BOYFRANDOS WITH LOVE? IS YOUR FUCKIN BRAIN SO WARPED BY ANIMU BISHIE IDEALS THAT YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW HOw REALITY WORKS? DO YOU QUESTION EVERY MARRIAGE YOU SEE? ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE HORRIBLE PIECES OF SHIT WHO GOES, “UGH, LIKE, SHE COULD DO SOOO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM/HE COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN HER”? IF SO, THROW YOURSELF INTO A SNOWBANK. NOBODY LIKES PEOPLE LIKE THAT. PEOPLE LIKE THAT ARE GROSS.

THE IDEA THAT LOOKS DENOTE MARRIAGEABILITY IS GROSS.

WOW…THERE’S A CANON MARRIAGE IN ATTACK ON TITAN… AND IT’S CONFIRMED THAT THE HUSBAND LOVES HIS WIFE AND KIDDOS…BUT…………….IT’S NOT A CUTE BISHIE MAN WHO IS CONFIRMED MARRIED… IT’S THAT OTHER GUY… OH…NO… OH NO. WE CAN’T HAVE THATAAAATTTTt. NOT CONFIRMED HOT ENOUGH TO BE MARRID…CUZ DAS HOW MARRIAGE WORKS IN ANIMULAND…………….

Do y'all also think it’s really SHOCKING that Hannes is married, too? OR IS IT JUST NILE? BECAUSE ERWIN HAD FEELINGS FOR NILE’S WIFE ONCE? AND IT’S JUST SO FUCKIN HARD TO BELIEVE THAT NILE WOULD MARRY THE KIND OF PERSON ERWIN WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO?

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK OFF. YOu don’t EVEN KNOW what KINDA PERSON ERWIN IS ATTRACTED TO. AS IF IT WOULD EVEN MATTER.

(You’re not even calling attention to just Nile; you’re basically calling his wife’s judgment into question and Erwin’s, too. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Consider observing real people without judging them MAYBE.)

Fucking hell I’m so sick of this shit in fandom U G H. Even if you don’t think Nile’s attractive, how about you leave his marriage out of it? Yeah. Wow. 

I mean, shit, what if we had canon confirmation that Gunther was married? Gelgar? Henning? Goggles-kun? Keiji? KENNY? WHAT??? NOT HOt ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED EITHER?????????????

But nobody questions Hannes being married, and he’s aesthetically and objectively less attractive than Nile. Why is that? Yeah, I know why. It’s because Erwin Smith wasn’t interested in his wife.

People just can’t believe that Erwin Smith would be interested in someone, and they’d want to marry and bang someone else. Marie knew what she wanted and she went for it. Who cares that what she wanted wasn’t Erwin Smith? Erwin doesn’t seem to give a single shit–and neither should you. Leave Erwin out of Nile’s marriage maybe and stop forgetting that canonically Nile is happy and Erwin is happy that Nile is happy.

I’M REALLY BITTER ABOUT THIS and I haven’t really slept so yeah. 

“It kills me to see you with him”- Jack Johnson

(Jack’s POV)

Tonight was another one of Taylor Caniff’s annual house party. I was in the car with Rupp and Nate heading there. “Yo Johnson, you know (y/n) is going to be there right?”,Rupp said scrolling on his phone. “Really”,I said with a bit of excitement in his voice. “Yea dude, you excited or something?”,Rupp said hitting his shoulder. “Nah dude, you know when I broke her heart I did it for a reason”,I said trying to play it off. “Aight man chill”,Rupp said turning the music up higher. You looked up and saw Nate in the rearview mirror. He was raising his eyebrows and giving you the ‘really’ look. You pulled up to Taylor’s and walked in to smell weed and spilled beer. You walked into the kitchen and saw her. She looked different, but a good way. She looked more confident and like she owned the room. She was hanging out with Andrea, Emily, and Stass. “Hey Johnson”,Taylor said giving you a bro hug. Hearing your nickname got her attention and she looked right at you. You haven’t seen her in about a year. 

Originally posted by buckysstevie

(Y/n POV)

You were throwing back shot after show with Andrea while Emily filmed it on snapchat. “Here is to (y/n) for finally getting some good ass dick”,Andrea shouted and downed the shot. You also drank to that. You pour another. “Here’s to Christian and his dick”,you said drinking another. The girls chanted and drank another as well. When you were just about to pour another, you heard Taylor shout a name. When you heard ‘Johnson’ you looked up and saw piercing blue eyes. You were over him so you decided to play nice. You smiled at him and gave him a friendly wave. He gave one back and you went on with the girls to a different part of the house. “Dude, why the fuck were you being so nice”,Andrea said trying to make a basket into the net. “Guess i’m finally over it”,you said taking the ball and shooting it into the net. “Hey”,you heard someone behind you. You turned around to see Jack. “Hi”,you said while your heart fluttered. “Wanna go grab a drink?”,he asked. “Sure, hey guys i’ll be right back”,you said but could hardly hear over the music. You walked with Jack into the now abandoned kitchen. “So how have you been?”,you asked sipping your drink in your solo cup. “Don’t do that”,he said slightly chuckling. “What”,you said confused. “Make that bullshit small talk, we used to make fun of people who did that”,he said pouring more of whatever it was into his cup. “Well sorry, but I don’t know and don’t care what is going on in your life right now”,you said taking a big gulp. “Look I’m sorry”,he said. “Sorry? about what”,you said cocking your head to the side. “Come one you know what I did”,he said softly. “I’m sorry, refresh my memory”,you said in a bitchy attitude. “I did something pretty shitty to you, and i’m sorry”,he said. “You’re sorry? Wow so you’re sorry for forgetting our three year anniversary, me showing up to your apartment in the rain because you took my car since yours brokedown, finding you in bed not with one but two street walkers, and to top it all off our relationship the whole time was a bet with your friends to see how long it would take for you to get in my pants”,you said laughing from all the alcohol in your system. “I apologized, I came to your house everyday and waited for you, I called you every morning and night, I sent you texts. How else was I suppose to say I was sorry? I really did fall in love with you, I really did”,he said. “What did you do with the money”,you asked looking for more vodka. “What?”,he asked. “What did you do with it? Finally buy yourself your own car? Down payment on another house? Maybe bought classier strippers? I want to know Jack, tell me what you did with the money”,you said raising your voice. He just stood there in guilt looking down at the floor. “Whatever, I’m done with you. I hate you. You are the most disgusting person I’ve ever met. You actually make Carter look good”,you said grabbing the bottle and going back toward the dancing and music. 

Originally posted by youmustbreathing

“Hey, where have you been”,Stass said. “Getting the last word’,you said drinking the rest of the bottle. You then heard your song and went to the dance floor. You were dancing with the girls when you felt someone’s hand on your hips. “Sorry I’m late, got off work late”,you felt someone’s minty breath on your neck. You turned around and noticed it was Christian. “Hey baby”,you said. He started dancing with you. You started dancing and grinding with him. You looked up and saw Jack’s eyes again

Originally posted by yeezusxvi

The song ended and Christian went to meet up with one of his friend somewhere in the house. You felt really dizzy and you couldn’t stand without fumbling over everything. You started to walk the backdoor to go to the backyard. You then saw Christian talking to Nate and Jack. You stopped at the door frame and put your hand on your head from the massive headache you were having. “Hey baby, come over here. I want you to meet someone”,Christian yelled. You tried to walk over there without falling and you successfully did. “This is Jack and this is Nate”,he said introducing me to my ex boyfriend and his bestfriend. When you got to Christian, you kissed him passionately right in front of them.

Originally posted by bottledupsins

 You just raised your eyebrows at them and held onto Christian because you couldn’t really stand well. “Did you know they grew up in Omaha just like you”,he said putting his arm around your waist to give you more support. “Cool”,you said. “Baby, can we go home. I’m not feeling really good”,you said. “Sure, go say bye to your friends. Here’s the keys”,he said giving the keys to you. You started walking back into the house looking for Andrea and Emily. You spotted them on the couch smoking some weed with Rupp. “Hey, I’m not feeling so hot. I’m gonna head home”,you said. “Want me to walk you out?”,Emily said. “I’m good, Christian is about to be out there anyways”,you said hugging them. “Good to see you Rupp”,you said waving at him. “You too”,he said taking another hit. You found your purse and walked outside toward the front of the house. “Hey, what the fuck was that back there?”,you heard someone yell. You turned around and saw Johnson. “What now?”,you said. “Look I get it, you’re happy. I get it that you hate me. I get it that I broke you. I get it you have a fucking better boyfriend. I get it that he makes you happier than I ever did, but It kills me to see you with him”,he said. “Good”,you said while your voice cracked. “Baby, why aren’t you in the car yet, its freezing out here”,Christian said jogging to the car. “Just saying goodbye”,you said smiling at him. “Hey, you okay? Look like your about to cry”?,he said tucking some hair behind your ear. “No, the wind blew in my eye”,you said. You walked to his car and got in putting your seat belt on. “Nice meeting you man”,Christian said. He got into the car and turned the key. You looked out the window to see Jack standing there, waiting for you to get out of the car. “I can’t believe you acted like that tonight”,Christian said raising his voice. “I know, I’m sorry”,you said putting your head down. “You made me look so fucking bad in there! You looked so fucking incoherent, you couldn’t even fucking stand up!”,he said hitting the steering wheel. You felt your cheek become wet and your nose become stuffy. You look out of the corner of your eye to notice Jack was wasn’t there anymore. “I just saw someone there, and I didn’t want to feel so I drank the feelings away”,you said wiping your cheek. “Who fucking was it”,he said. You didn’t answer and kept your head down. You then felt his finger pull your chin and you were now looking at him. “Who hurt you?”,he asked. “It’s okay, i’m over it”,you said giving him a soft smile. “You mean the guy that did all that shit to you like a year ago”,he said. You gave him a slow nod. Christian got out of the car and walk back toward the house. “Christian, get back here”,you said trying to catch up to him. “If he’s in here, i’m going to fucking kill him”,he said. “What’s his name?”,he asked. “Christian, come on. Let’s go home”,you said grabbing his hand. “Tell me his fucking name”,he said. You stood there quietly. “Fine, i’ll ask around”,he said. He went back into the party. You needed to find Jack. Even though he totally deserved to get a fucking beating, you know he didn’t have a chance against Christian. You spotted him on the upstairs balcony. You saw Christian go to the backyard. You ran up the stairs. “Jack, you need to leave right now. Christian found out my ex-boyfriend I told him about is here and he’s on the hunt to kill”,you said to him. “Where is he”,he asked. “Backyard. He will kill you. He was in the Army for 2 years, he will hurt you”,you said. You two went down the back stairs. “Why are you helping me? If anything I thought you’d want this”,he said running down the stairs. “I don’t want you to die”,you said running through the kitchen. “Go out the garage”,you said opening the door. Jack goes out and runs to his car. You see Christian and he walk toward you. “So people tell me you dated Jack Johnson”,he said. “I think he left”,you said. “Well, where’s he live?”,he asked. “He moved out when we brokeup. Can we go home now?”,you asked. “I will find him”,he said walking outside to the car. “So, you knew Jack that whole fucking time, and you didn’t fucking tell me he was the guy”,he said yelling in your face. “What the fuck is your problem? If i didn’t want to tell you, I didn’t have to! You are acting absolutely belligerent!”,you yelled back. Just then you felt a sharp sting on your cheek. “You need to stop acting out. Your mine”,he said. “I’m sorry”. “You need to start behaving and listening to me”,he said. “Okay, I’m sorry”,you said shaking your head.

Originally posted by scarletkissess

“Look I did it out of love baby”,he said. “You never hurt someone you love”,you heard someone say. “Jack, what are you doing here”,you said. “Getting you away from that guy. He’s a monster”,he said. “Oh like you’re not”,Christian said. “I did some fucked up shit, but I never laid my hands on her”,he said standing between you and Christian. “Jack, just leave. I’ll be okay, You need to go before bad things happen”,you said. “I’m done with you. You hurt me for the first and last time Christian. You get your stuff and get out of my life”,you said opening the car door to get your purse. “Baby, don’t you remember who hurt you first here? I was just trying to teach him a lesson and when you wouldn’t shut up and-”. “I’m done with you practicing your slaps on me? Look he may have hurt me, but never physical”,you said walking away from them both. “Baby, come on. At least just let me give you a ride home”,Christian said following you. “Don’t you see i’m trying to get away from you”,you said stopping to look both ways. “Would you stop being such a child”,Christian said grabbing your wrist. “Don’t touch me”,you said yanking your wrist back. You then see a car pull up and the window rolls down. “Let me give you a ride home”,Jack said. You look at your options. 1. walk home in a tight, short dress in heels in cold weather. 2.Get in the car with a bipolar who’s abusive. Or 3. Get in the car with someone who shattered you, but has a good heart. “Ok”,you said. You got into the car and felt the warm from the seat. “Look dude, my address is 355 Sunset”,Christian. “Christian, we’re done! That’s not my home anymore, okay?”,you yelled. “Where are you going to go? No one wants you! Your friends put up with you. Your mom ran off with her boyfriend. Your dad is dead. Your sister has a family of her own. He obviously didn’t want you, you know that. Who else is going to love you?”,he said. “Me”,you said. “Just take me somewhere, I don’t care”,you said quietly. Jack rolled up the window and pulled off on to the road. “Sorry to hear about your dad”,he said. “Me too”,you chuckled. You slipped your heels off and turned up the heat as much as it would go. “Here, take this”,he said reaching in the back to grab one of his hoodies. “Thankyou for this and also for taking me away from there”,you said snuggling into the hoodie. “That wasn’t the first time he’s hurt you is it”,he said. “He just alot of anger issues. He never meant it”,you said looking out the window. “He still hurt you”,he said gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter. “I’ve had a pretty bad year, haven’t I”,you said giving a sad laugh.

Originally posted by scarin-q

“I’m sorry I caused some of that”,he said. “I know, I believe you”,you said resting you head on the window. “So, where do you want to drop you off”,he said. “I don’t really know. I have nowhere to go”,you said. “You’ve always got me”,he said giving you a cheesy smile. “Now”,you said. You two sat in silence for a long time. “I don’t deserve to be loved”,you said softly. 

Originally posted by paranozia

“What? Of course you do”,he said. “Look at me Jack! No one wants me. Nobody cares how they treat me or what they do to me”,you said with tears filling your eyes. “I want you. I wish I still had you”,he said. “Pull over”,you said. “What, no”,he said. “Pull over now!”,you yelled. He pulled over on the freeway and you got out. “What the fuck are you doing?”,he yelled after you. “I can’t do this”,you said not turning around. “Do what?”,he said catching up to you. “I can’t have you say you love me or want me back”,you said letting the tears go. “Why not? We had love, true love”,he said wiping your tears. “True love is not real, unless it is returned Jack. And you showed love wasn’t real. You don’t hurt the people you love. I know you’re sorry and believe you are sorry, but I’m never going to give my heart to someone who’s already broke it once.”,you said crying even more

Originally posted by pls-love

He then leaned in and kissed you. You got caught in the moment and kissed back. It felt like magic. Your lips moved in sync and you felt the passion again. You then snapped back into reality and pushed away. “Don’t fucking do that”,you said walking away. “Do what? Show my affection toward you? I’d thought you’d want some since Christian never gave you any”,he said. “Get the fuck away from me”,you said shaking your head. “You need me”,he said following you. “No I don’t. I don’t need anyone”,you said taking off the hoodie. “Well fuck it, I need you”,he said running up behind you and hugging you. “What the fuck are you doing? Get the fuck off me”,you said slapping his arms. “Just let me in again. We don’t have to be together, but just like me in”,he said holding you. “No”,you said. “Come on, I know he never held you like I did”,he said embracing you. You leaned against his warm chest and began to let more tears fall. “I’m sorry”,he said. “I know”,you said. “Let me love you again”,he said. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”,you said looking up at him. “I understand. Let me take you home”,he said putting his hoodie over your head. “What home?”,you said. “whatever you call home I guess”,he said. You turned to look at him. “I don’t have a home”,you said quietly. “Wanna crash on the couch?”,he asked. “If you don’t mind”,you said hugging him.

Originally posted by sensualkisses

You felt really bad for crashing on his couch, but you had nowhere and he made you feel safe. “You need another blanket”,he asked from his bedroom. “Please”,you asked making you couch bed. He brought you the blanket you made him senior year. You made it out of old band tshirts. “You still have it”,you said amazed. “Sleep with it every night”,he said giving you a little smile. “Thank you again for letting me stay. I’ll call Andrea tomorrow and see if I can stay with her”,you said putting your purse on the coffee table. “Ok, well sleep tight”,he said. “Goodnight J”,you said. You were about to go to bed when Jack put something on the coffee table. “Thought you’d be more comfortable”,he said. It was one of his shirts. “Thank you”,you said. You went to change and noticed it only came down mid thigh. You walked out and noticed he was in the kitchen. “I miss you in my clothes. You’ve still got it”,he said. You gave him a smile and went over to the couch. “Goodnight baby”,he said turning off the light. You got under the covers and fell asleep.

(Jack’s POV)

You went to bed and laid there thinking of everything that happened and what was said. You drifted off to sleep. A couple hours later, you heard some faint noises. They sounded like faint whining. You got up and went into the living room. (y/n) was shifting left and right in her sleep. She was sweating and making worrying noise. “No, please don’t, don’t leave. Not again.”,she said squirming. “Stop, stop please. I love you”,she said. “(y/n), (y/n) baby wake up”,you said shaking her shoulder. “Jack, what’s wrong”,she asked rubbing her eyes. “You were having a bad dream”,you said to her worried face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you”,she said wiping her eyes. “It’s fine, goodnight”,you said. “Jack”,she said softly. “Yes”,you said turning to face her perfect face. “Will you lay with me?”,she said while her voice crackled a little. “Of course”,you said. You got under the covers with her and she laid her head on your chest. “I always loved listening to your heart beat”,she said. You then heard little snores from her. You both fell asleep in each others arms, happy.

5sos Imagine: I’ll Misbehave (If It Turns You On)

Pairing: You/Calum

Rating: M (Smut)

Word Count: 5kish

Universe: University!AU, Stripper!5sos, Roommates!AU

Summary: You and Calum are roommates. You work in a coffee shop. He’s a stripper (in secret.) This is how you come to find out and everything that follows (including really hot sex).

Dedicated to: Laura. Enjoy;)

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