wow this is poo

Flour and Ink (Tattoo Artist!Luke)

 Luke and I had been dating for probably about a year in a half. We met when he opened his tattoo shop right next to my bakery shop. I charged over there one day and told him that if he didn’t turn his crap music down that I was going to sue.That was what started our hatred for each other. For months, we did anything we could to sabotage each other business. Somewhere amidst the battle, we had both fallen madly in love with each other. We’ve been inseparable since.

It was about 1:20 when I started on a new batch of buttercream cupcakes. I was mixing up ingredients when Luke came running through the bakery doors. His face was red sweat started to gather around the rim of his snap back.

“Babe, baby, baby doll, doll face, dearest love, cookie, honey, sweetie, lovely, pretty girl,” he quickly rambled as he breathed between each word. His hands gripped the counter as he made intense eye contact with me.

“Wow wow wow,” I said calmly. “What’s going on Lukey Poo?” A few of the customers in my shop were staring. Luke and I had gotten rather used to it during our relationship. Usually people covered in tattoos and piercings didn’t up with little bakery owners. People often stared and pointed but we didn’t care. We knew we were meant to be together no matter how different we were.

“You need to come to my shop right now.” I pointed to my bowl nd scoffed at him.

“I’m a little busy.” Luke grabbed my hands and tried to drag me away.

“But it’s important!” His childish whine made me giggle. He wasn’t as rough and tough as everyone thought he was. He was just a big teddy bear.

“What is it?” Luke shut his mouth and started to blush.

“I can’t tell you.” He avoided all eye contact with me by keeping his stare concentrated on the ground. “Please just come with me!” He leaned over and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. He gave me a big toothy grin.

“No, Luke. I have to work. I’ll swing by the shop when I close up.” I looked at Luke and quickly became worried by the cheeky smirk on his face. “What are you up to Hemmings?” He leaned in close to my face ever so slowly and quickly spat in the bowl of cupcake mix. “Oh that’s it!” Luke high tailed it out of the shop before I could get a word in. I threw off my apron and threw the bowl into the sink. I yelled for one of my employee’s to take charge of the shop while I went to yell at Luke.

I pushed open the doors to his shop and quickly saw Luke in the main entrance on one knee. All of his coworkers and a couple of customers were gathered around in the waiting room along with us. I was dumbfounded when I saw Luke down on one knee. I had no idea what to think or to say. My throat went dry and my mouth went still. After standing in the front door with my mouth hanging wide open for about a solid minute. Luke stood up and brought me more into the shop and got back down on one knee. I covered my mouth with my hand so that if anyone was taking pictures, they wouldn’t all be with my mouth hanging wide open.

“You know, I never thought it would be possible to stun you speechless. I have never known you to ever not know what to say. So, since you don’t have any words, I have a few that I would like to say. I bought this shop exactly two years ago and while I was fulfilling one dream, I had no idea that I would soon be fulfilling another. On May 21st, you came to my shop up in arms about something and ended up crying in my tattoo chair about some stupid boy that broke your heart. I held you while you cried and I still treasure the shirt you soaked with your tears. We talked about everything in the universe until daylight and shared a cheese pizza. I remember that night because it was when I realized that I was hopelessly in love with you. Since we’ve been together, we’ve had many nights similar to May 21st but that’s not enough for me.”

Luke gave my hand a tight squeeze and kissed the inside of my palm. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small box. I felt my knees go weak and my stomach twist in knots. I tried my best to keep in any kind of sob but the strange sounds that were coming from me started to seep out of my hands. Luke opened the box to show a beautiful diamond ring.

“Will you please make me the happiest man on earth and make everyday May 21st?” I fell to my knees and pressed my lips to Luke’s. He held me tightly to his chest as I tried to gather myself up enough to not let a sob out every two seconds. Luke pulled back from me. “So is that a yes?” I nodded vigorously.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” I continued to repeat. Luke took the ring and slid it onto my ring finger. Luke stood up and helped to my feet. Everyone in the shop clapped and cheered. I wrapped my arms around Luke’s waist and mumbled “I love you,” into his chest.

“I love you too.”

Titus and Lexa watching the finale like
  • Titus: Heda, why didn’t you say I love you back.
  • Lexa: Tantor don't be stupid, that is clearly an imposter of me, you know I would never leave my baby pudding cup hanging like that.
  • Titus: but...
  • Lexa: WHO CREATED THIS FALSE MONSTROSITY, I WOULD NEVER REACT IN THAT WAY, EVERYONE KNOWS I LOVE MY CLARKEY POO....MORE THAN I LOVE CANDLES.
  • Titus: Wow heda...that was deep
  • [James and Sirius see Lily coming from the Owlery]
  • James: Hey!
  • Lily: Hey! How’s it goin’?
  • James: It’s good. Yeah. It’s good… You, um…you have a little something on your cheek.
  • Lily: Oh, um! Yeah, that! That’s just, uh…. That’s owl poo.
  • James: Oh. Well, I mean, you know–you know what they say, right? Because…everybody poops. I mean, I just did, earlier – not this second, but…down there, I poo–I pooped.
  • Lily: Wow. I think that is so cool that you can just talk about it!
  • James: Really? Okay. Yeah, I love to poop.
  • Sirius:

i’m trying to get used to my display setup sO I DREW A BUNCH OF CHUMS (PT 1) ;7;/ i owe you all better art im sorry its messy but ily guys so much ok <333

onewshiba | hearteyeshowell | philslesters | phantheraglama | galaxyphan | navywitch | catastrophx | catwhiskerlester | pure-phantasy | i-make-doodles-lol | lesterotic | danteasers

do you ever think about how farts are basically your butt cheeks clapping super fast

like your butt is super proud of you for expelling gas

“WOW AMAZING JOB GETTING RID OF THAT STINKY POO AIR CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP”

Preference #4- The Hate

Louis: All you ever did was love him. You never wanted to fall in love with him, but you did. Usually the hate didn’t bug you too much and you could brush it off, but today you were already feeling shitty and you just crumbled. The paparazzi had just gotten a picture of you and Louis at the beach together, yet the only thing they noticed was how awful you looked. They got pictures of your wet hair and disheveled makeup and suddenly you started seeing things on twitter like “look at this ugly bitch.” “Louis could do so much better”, “wow. Louis really took a step down”, “why is he interested in that ugly whore”. You’ve seen plenty of hate before, but this one hurt. You were curled up in a ball on the floor with your phone, tears raking through your body, when Louis came home. “Hey (Y/N) I’m home.” After you didn’t respond he walked around your house looking for you. “Hey love seriously why aren’t you answering?” he asked as he stepped into your room. You looked up and simply said “All I ever did was love you and they hate me. The thing is they’re right though. You could do so much better” He rushed to you quickly and wrapped you up in his arms. “(Y/N) don’t you ever say that again. I love you and they’re all wrong. You are the most beautiful girl ever and they’re blind if they can’t see how happy you make me. Now”, he said wiping away a few stray tears with his thumb, “I’m gonna go make us some tea and we’re going to stop looking at this bullshit ok.” he said softly smiling. You returned the sad smile and kissed him lightly.”Thank you Lou. I love you so much” You drank tea with Louis and watched funny movies in bed until you both passed out.

Zayn: It was 2 AM and you were still scrolling through twitter. You couldn’t sleep and you had been reading the hate the fans sent you even though Zayn had said not to pay attention to it, it still made you sad. Silently you sat in bed scrolling through endless comments on how ugly, fat, and pathetic you were. Zayn stirred next to you in bed and you brushed the tears away from your face and hoped he didn’t notice the puffy redness rimming your eyes. He woke up groggily and said “Babe why are you still up?” “Ugh I just couldn’t sleep,” you said giving him a fake smile. Slowly he starts to notice your tear stained cheeks and the wetness of tears on the cuff of your sleeve. He sits up and grabs your phone before you can protest and sees what you’ve been reading for the past 2 hours while he was sleeping. You sit in silence as his face contorts in pain and anger at the awful things his “fans” have been saying about you. He turns off your phone and pushes it away from him. He turns you so that you’re face to face and he gazes into your eyes. Tears are forming in his eyes and you know that he truly hates what they say about you. “Please do not believe a single thing they are saying. I love you and I wish that you saw how beautiful you are. Fuck them. Seriously. They don’t know how funny, intelligent, creative, and gorgeous you are” he says as he kisses away a tear that you just weren’t able to hold in. You kissed him deeply for a moment the taste of both of your tears meeting with the taste of mint. You pulled away and allowed yourself to be held in his arms as he rubbed your back till you went to sleep.

Harry: You and Harry were leaving the set of an interview and the fans were swarming the two of you. He held on to your hand tightly and pulled you along with him. He stopped every once in a while for a picture or a signature, but while he was taking a picture some girl yelled at you “Hey bitch! Why the fuck does Harry even like you?” Soon other girls started yelling hateful comments about you and how Harry deserves better. Tears swelled in your eyes, but you swallowed the growing lump in your throat and were soon pushed into a car with Harry. As the door closed you couldn’t hold it together anymore. You looked at Harry who was still oblivious to your pain and looked back down at your lap thinking about what they had been saying. He did deserve better. You weren’t some supermodel goddess and he deserved better. He looked at you and finally saw the small tear stains that were falling on to your jeans. He tilted your chin up so that you were looking into his eyes. “Babe  what’s wrong. What did they say?” he asked as he wiped away a few tears. “It doesn’t matter because they’re right. You deserve a supermodel goddess who’s tall and sexy and that’s not me.” He pulled you into him and hugged you as best as he could in the small space of the backseat. Your body shook with the sobs that you just couldn’t hold in. Your head was resting in the crook of his neck as he rubbed your back soothingly so that you could calm down. Once the tears died down he pulled away and said “You’re the girl I love. I don’t want anyone else because you’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. Whenever I see you my day is automatically better and you’re the person who knows the real me. Those guys are just jealous of how beautiful you are and I’m sorry that they made you feel like this. I hate seeing you so sad.” You felt better hearing Harry’s reassuring words and you smiled and held on to him till you got home and cuddled the rest of the day as he whispered reassuring and loving words in your ear till you were fast asleep.

Niall: You hated how much their words affected you. You were at home on your phone looking at some of the comments on your last instagram photo. Almost all the comments were ones saying things like “Fat bitch”, “Can’t believe that Niall actually is dating her”, “I bet he just feels bad for her and that’s why he’s dating her”. Tears ran down your face as you curled up tighter on the couch. Your self esteem continuously lowered with each hateful comment you read. You already had problems with your body and thought you weren’t worth being with Niall, but now you really believed it. That little voice in your head saying you weren’t worth it had turned into thousands of girls who believed the same thing that Niall was too good for you. Niall walked into the living room and saw how upset you were. He rushed over to you and took away your phone, knowing that it was the hate that had caused you this pain. “Babe look at me” he said as he tried to tilt your head up to look into his eyes. You couldn’t though it was physically too painful. You couldn’t stand the thought of him seeing you like this. You were already a mess and didn’t want him to see the pain in your eyes. Although you felt like shit you eventually let him up tilt your face up so you could look into his gorgeous blue eyes. You could never quite get over just how beautifully blue his eyes are. He slowly kissed away the tears that ceased to stop. He grabbed the sides of your face and began to speak, “(Y/N) I don’t know why you can’t see just how beautiful you are. You’re my everything and you make me beyond happy. I know you can’t accept that and that you don’t see how amazing you are, but I’m always going to be trying to show you how much I love you.” His arms pulled you into his chest as you let the sobs go. You couldn’t help it. He was so sweet and although you still didn’t believe that you were beautiful he really did help.

Liam: Everyday you got more and more hate. The fans hated that Liam was dating you. They thought that you were fat, stupid, ugly, just about any insult you could think of. You had slowly become immune to it, but today was overwhelming. You had posted a picture of you and her friends and suddenly it wasn’t just you they were bashing. “Oh so her and all her little friends are fat”, “ugly, uglier, ugliest. why can’t Liam just date someone who’s actually attractive”. You hated what they were saying about you, but you hated that your friends had to deal with hate too. They weren’t the ones dating an international popstar yet they were hated on like they were. You quickly texted all of them apologizing for all the shit happening to them, but you still felt awful and started crying thinking about the awful things that were being said about you. Did they really hate you that much? You had never done anything to them. You never posted about how much the hate really upset you and not once would you get mad. How could they hate you so much? You asked yourself all these questions as Liam walked in to your room. He had heard your sniffles from the other room and he slowly entered the room to check on what was going on. You looked up and he saw your red rimmed eyes and quickly was embracing you in a tight hug. After you calmed down you explained to Liam how it wasn’t even just you, but also your friends that were receiving hate. He got angry and said “First of all you are the most beautiful girl ever and they are idiots for not seeing how amazing you are. Everyday with you is a good day. Even when we’re fighting I still love you. Second your friends don’t deserve that. I’m so sorry that you’re getting so much hate and I’ll do anything to make you happy.” “Will you just lay with me?” you asked quietly. “Of course (Y/N)” he said as he crawled into bed and quickly got wrapped up in each other. Tears still streamed down your face and Liam kissed away each one. His arm was wrapped around you and on your back he drew small circles that calmed you down almost immediately. “Liam, I just wanted to say how much I love you. Seriously I really love you” you said as he smiled.

Hope you enjoyed :) Also thank you to paper-paintings  for helping me edit!

So I’m in the potty training stages of owning a dog and wow can this little guy poo and pee a lot. He’s also some how gotten into my socks and chewed holes into three of them while I was asleep, I guess he didn’t like the other that went with the third one. Poor sock. Who knew a little thing could make such big messes? 

Colby: It says here that babies need to eat every 3-4 hours, even at night time. Wow no sleep for us, right witchy poo?

Nickie: I want spaghetti.

Colby: And their poop and spit up, it say here, you can feed them only to have it come out as projectile spit up or explosive pooh! Time to invest in some rubber gloves, right princess?

Nickie: Spaghetti! Spaghetti!

Colby: Okay okay, lets get your some spaghetti!

You babysit him and he has a crush on you.

Niall:

(He’s 6)

You were a junior in high school and to make some extra money, you would babysit your neighbor everyday after school. Niall was an adorable 6 year old who no doubt had a crush on you, he would blush every time you’d all him cute or adorable and would always find a way to cuddle with you while you were doing your homework. Today wasn’t different from any other day and you drove yourself home quickly changed and headed next door just in time see Mrs. Horan running out the door and yelling a quick ‘thanks’ behind her. Waling through the door you were instantly being hugged by a little brown haired boy, “Hi [y/n]! Can we please play a game please, please, please?” Niall pouted up at you. “We can play a game jut as soon as I type something for English class? Ok?” He sighed but nodded and sat practically on top of you when you sat down and get out your laptop. Rolling your eyes and smiling you picked up niall and sat him on your lap, putting your laptop on his lap. He giggled and cuddled further into your chest. 20 minutes later you were done with your homework and was attempting to teach Niall how to play Twister, but he just kept giggling and falling on top of you. Giving up you made Niall some grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner, and he sat on your lap again while eating resulting on getting crumbs all over you. By the time his mum got home he was dozing off in you lap and you and picked him up, kissing his forehead, he whispered a quiet "I love you [y/n].“ you smiled and whispered back to him that you love him too when Maura took him to his room you could hear a faint "yus” from down the hall.

AN: Wow that was poo but here you go! My school is mean and yeah, the rest of the boys will be up either later today or tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that, don’t really know im lazy and do things when im in the mood so yeah you back to Tumblring and other stuff you do so well.