wow this guy is nuts and my hero

Sometimes I have to really think about why I love Ardyn so much and it’s not just because I think he’s STUPID hot like… hng. Because the moment I saw him on screen I was like “wow hello how YOU doin” but I reserved any other feelings while I played through the story (and keep in mind I hadn’t watched Kingsglaive until after I beat the game). I didn’t really know what to think of him. I wanted him to be my friend. I thought he was weird and goofy and wasn’t sure what Square was doing with this guy. Then of course EVERYTHING happened and I wanted to rip off his nuts and staple them to his forehead because WOW WHAT A FUCKIN DICKHEAD.

Until you know… you get that little bit of his backstory and fuck I get that.

I’m not really the type to go this nuts over villains (I love good villains but this is different). I like HEROES. I like heroes that develop and unlearn shitty behaviors and experience a lot of shit and grow and just… yeah man. I love a good hero/heroine. I like following a character to their epiphany and seeing them fail and succeed. And yes, I fucking love Noctis. He delivers a good hero story for me.

But… I mean…. Ardyn was a hero. He saved the world, too. And we all know what thanks he got for his deeds.

And yes I definitely understand that it’s…. pretty damn common for people to feel used and mistreated by others in life. I mean IT’S PRETTY MUCH GOING TO HAPPEN at some point. Because AAAYYYY AIN’T THAT LIFE THO. 

I gave so much… holy shit… I gave so fucking much of myself and my time and my effort and my energy and my money and my love to people that ultimately dragged me down, stole from me, used me, and expected me to keep serving them after everything they’d put me through. And holy shit did it take a long time to break that fucking cycle. And it was FUCKING painful. And that’s why I am so attached to this character ultimately. It’s really not about the porn (which I love don’t get me fuckin wrong), but just… him. His character. His story. I dunno man.. I connect with that shit.

He’s a humorous man, and he’s carefree and I think he’s using that visage to bury a lot of fuckin pain. And he’s like an extreme example of what many people go through. If I had to live forever with that shit… You think I’d do any better? You think you’d do any better? I bet the fuck not. Ardyn’s only human.

Talcott said so. “He was as human as you and me…” And Talcott even says the claims made against him were dubious.

Ardyn is an example of a good person trying their best and getting shat on for it. Dude, I think anyone can identify with that. But he’s also a cautionary tale.

I remember wanting to hurt those who hurt me. I know that feeling. But I didn’t. Because it almost always hurts so many who don’t deserve it by proxy. I could have done things to destroy my ex’s life, but it would have taken down people I loved as well. So I just… I moved on.

AND YEAH I’m mortal like I get that… that’s the fantasy aspect of it and all.

Ardyn goes about his biz with humor and THAT is also something I understand. I use humor and memes and shit posts as a coping mechanism and it does well for me. My friends know me as the type to go “ALSKDFJASLDKF ANYWAYS HERE’S ARDYN AS A CUCUMBER” as an example (I will probably have to draw Ardyn as a cucumber now huh?)

On an end point… I am now at that point where I see Ardyn… Both scared to death of being close to people, but also desperately needing it. That touch starved Ardyn snippet I did wasn’t pornographic because… I know that feeling. I wish I had someone to curl up with, and it doesn’t even have to be sexually. I just miss being like that with someone. I would almost prefer a platonic snuggle buddy. Ardyn might have been better off with that, but he was shat on entirely.

Fuck Bahamut. Fuck the prophecy. Fuck all of them. Ardyn lost the most in this deal and this was how he dealt with it. Was it right? No. Would you or I do any better? I DON’T THINK SO