wow no i am really emotional

AU MASTER LIST

So here is a bunch of AU’s that I’ve collected over…. a long time. Enjoy

Awkward Meetings

  • I broke your nose in a mosh pit, sorry
  • I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital, this is sort of awkward, are you okay?
  • You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man
  • You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and im too shocked to respond to your apologies
  • You laughed in a restaurant, but your laugh is really weird and I thought you were choking so I’m awkwardly humping you while attempting to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre and why isn’t this working, you’re just choking harder now this is aweful
  • We met on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame
  • I get really sick on roller-coasters and you are sitting in front of me, im so sorry
  • You’re the bastard who keeps parking in front of my house and you just caught me drawing a dick on your window with a permanent marker… ugh, oops.
  • I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold another fucking shirt and just leave it, I’m going to fucking shove it down your throat
  • You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????
  • You’re my new dealer and you just friended me on Facebook and idk how to react to that
  • You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist
  • This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and  you’re deathly afraid of flying. 
  • I got into a cab to find someone already inside
  • You thought I was your friend/sister
  • Holy shit, im in the wrong car.
  • I was walking by a roller coaster and your shoe flew off and hit me in the head and now I’m on the floor trying not to fall unconscious.
  • It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR
  • You fell asleep on me in the subway and I should probably wake you up and its my stop next stop but it’s okay, I can always just catch the subway back…
  • I know nothing about camping and all my friends left me at the site. Please, help me, I think I just heard a bear
  • This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favourite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?
  • We met in a movie theatre and now you’re clinging to me because your terrified and I’m okay with that because it means I get your popcorn.
  • You had a party and I got really drunk and stole your microwave, so now I’m at your place and your super hungover so here, I made breakfast?

Neighbour/Roomate

  • The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the crack of dawn
  • I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/mouse/cricket (etc.)
  • My neighbour has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is below theirs
  • You keep stealing my doormat and HAH, I’ve got you this time thief!
  • The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is leaking through my ceiling
  • My neighbour’s sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident.
  • My roommate keeps stealing my coffee so now I make extra 
  • You’re my new neighbour and wow man, you have some really weird habits.
  • You’re my neighbour and you are stealing my wifi to watch porn and can you not?
  • You locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so please come into my apartment I’ll make you hot chocolate?
  • I heard you singing at 3 am and joined in and now you’re at my door and wtf mate I think your drunk but your voice is really nice so?
  • I just set the fire alarm in our building off again… sorry. I know its like the fourth time this week…
  • You keep mowing your lawn when I’m trying to sleep and seriously FUCK YOU
  • My new neighbour is really hot and wow I didn’t even like women until now? And now she is in the garden planting flowers in her bikini wow… im in too deep
  • It’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but soME PEOPLE are trying to sLEEP
  • We’ve never met but we shower at the same time and our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we start duets?

Pets

  • I’m out walking and my dog started chasing your dog. 
  • My cat/dog ran away and you just found it but refuse to accept the reward. 
  • We are neighbours and your cat got my cat pregnant… so, wanna raise this little kitty family?
  • My pet tarantula/snake (etc) escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is terrified of snakes/spiders
  • I need you to pet sit my pet for a while and I forgot to mention it’s a snake, the mice are in the freezer. Thanks, bye
  • My cat really hates you cat and that’s the third time this week I’ve had to pry them apart.
  • My cat keeps breaking into your apartment and it ate all your plants… dinner to make up for it?
  • My cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so I followed him inside and you cam home earlier than I expected and found me in the middle of your living room and honestly I’m not a burglar
  • Your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and sorry not sorry I love this dog
  • You were walking your dog when you found me passed out on a park bench and thank you for waking me up and buying coffee instead of stealing my wallet

Music

  • I’m on a bus and wow, you’re singing really loudly and everyone is giving you weird looks, hey bud, tone it down, also great choice in music
  • You play Double Bass/Cello and I play 1st chair Violin and we keep making eye contact and damn your super cute.
  • You play in an orchestra and I love these songs so much, plus you’re really cute. Shit man, you’ll never notice me in the huge crowd…
  • Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?
  • I tried to act cool at this concert and I thought I was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground in pieces and everyone’s glaring at me… sorry?

Supernatural

  • I’m a wizard and I just accidently apparated into your house. Oops.
  • I died over 2000 years ago and you’ve been dead for like 2 hours, man, damn it now I have to explain this shit to you. Great.
  • I’m immortal and you’re mortal and I don’t know how to explain this to you and soon enough you’re going to realise that I’m not aging… shiiittt
  • You’re a greek god and I’m the roman counterpart. 
  • I’m a ghost and your alive and I think I’m in love with you…. Fuck. 
  • You’re a faun and I’m a Satry
  • I’m half demon and people often judge me based on my looks, but your blind and wow you actually like me? 
  • I’m a time traveller and I went back in time and wow I think I’m in love with you, fuck this isn’t good, I just faked being George Washington… wait what? George Washington doesn’t exist here? Shit… I actually am George Washington.
  • I’m a writer and your my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft? 
  • I’m a werewolf but I don’t want to tell you because my wolf form might be that really small chihuahua you keep mentioning you see when I go out…
  • I’m an android and you’re a human and wow what is that warmth I feel when I see you?
  • I’m a homesick telepath and you’re the poor soul who is receiving all these emotions, sorry
  • Somehow I’m in your body and you’re in mine and shit man being this close to the ground is fucked up.
  • I’m a genie an d you rubbed my lamp so congrats you get three wishes but you can’t seem to think of shit and why the fuck do I have to be stuck with you? Hurry up and think of some wishes okay?
  • I was an awful angel and as punishment I have to be your guardian angel and wow your super cute and nice but I still hate you
  • You keep having strange dreams that turn out to be us in a past life and you’re determined to fine me again but in this life I’m already dead.
  • We live in the year 3090, you’re a scientist and I’m your assistant. Unfortunately and experiment goes wrong and I die. Now you’re trying to put my brain into a robot but its not the same
  • I’m a vampire and I have a moment of weakness, you’re nearby and lets just say it doesn’t end well
  • I’m a dragon and you’re a really hot prince, that’s right, they locked up the wrong royalty.
  • You’re a pirate and I’m a siren and woah… are you asexual? That’s so cool, hey wait, don’t go I just want to talk
  • Your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I can see everything…. 
  • Listen I am genetically modified and you WILL let me hide in your house
  • Ok, so I panicked and kissed this human so he wouldn’t drown. And I know you don’t want me to keep him, and we can’t let him leave if he knows about us mere people so what do you want to do?

School/College

  • I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit
  • You’re my science lab partner and how the fuck did you just explode that beaker?
  • I’m an art student and you just found my sketchbook and you’re going through it. Shit man can you give that back, I don’t care how good you think they are just don’t turn that page…
  • You’re the school dork and I’m the school jock and fuck you can see where this is going
  • We are the only two kids who ride this school bus, maybe we should carpool?
  • I thought you were my roomies new boyfriend so I invited you in but your actually the RA of the dorm and now you think I want to have sex with you
  • I accidently flooded the laundry room and you really need to do laundry
  • You’re sitting in my seat in this lecture and who even are you? I’ve never seen you before… wait what, stop checking me out!
  • We argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside the class
  • You left your USB in the library computer and I had to go through your files to figure out who you are and in the end I read the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re really good?
  • I’m a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you’re a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because Im so shitty at this
  • My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway and are now trying to comfort me and your sweater is really soft wow sorry
  • You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and fuck it I’m trying to study over her so fuck you I’m going to put an end to this game by winning 
  • We are both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from student and you’ve won for the past three years
  • Romeo and Juliet of the math and English departments 
  • I want to get along with you roomie… but I like star wars… and you like star trek… this isn’t going to work.
  • I usually talk to my friends through morse code in class but… apparently you know morse too… and now you know I think your butt is cute
  • I got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and now I’m being adopted by someone who is really hot OH FUCKING NO

Near Death Experiences

  • Wow I was just in a fatal accident and who the hell are you? What is this I’m I dying? Wait no, I don’t want this, how do I get out of it? A deal you say, I’ll take it.
  • You’re an executioner and I’m about to be executed but you can’t seem to run the guillotine, wait what, why are we running away, man you’re my favourite executioner
  • Our plane/boat crashed and now it’s just us on this island. 
  • I just took a super dangerous job and your trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money
  • It’s the middle of a war and I’m on a ship that you’re ship just torpedoed. Now I’m a prisoner and wow why can’t I feel my legs. I’m not cooperating until I can feel them again. What the fuck do you mean I’m paralysed?
  • I’m addicted to ____ (drugs/alcohol etc) and you found me in an alleyway due to after effects of my addiction (beat up, overdose etc) and decide to take me in.
  • I sold my soul to bring you back to life and I don’t have long left please make this time count

Mistaken and Secret Identities

  • I’m  a thief/hacker/murder and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner
  • I’m a superhero and you want to be like me but in doing so become a supervillain, what do you mean you don’t understand why I’m punching you?
  • I’m a superhero, you’re a supervillain, but we don’t know each other’s identities and we are actually best friends
  • I’m runaway royalty and you’re a commoner, fuck I’m so screwed I need your help, I’ll explain later
  • You think I’m a celebrity and you’re talking too much for me to explain I am defintely not… that dude. What was his name again?
  • You’re a superhero and I’m your best friend and what the fuck man? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? If you had maybe I would be fucking caught with this stupid ass monologue-ing villain
  • I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err… your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour's…
  • I’m a superhero and you’re a supervillain and I saw you visiting kids at the children’s hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it’s really hard to punch you in the face

Profession Based

  • Your my mailman and I can’t help but notice that you linger at my door slightly longer than you need to ever since you saw me that one time. Do you want to come inside?
  • I’m a private detective and your my client and fuck man you’re in some deep shit
  • You’re a protester and I’m a police officer. Seriously can you please calm down a little bit, this is my job not my  beliefs.
  • I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist and I you’re an actor/model and are you flirting or???
  • You’re a celebrity and sorry mate, I have to take pictures to pay rent, I know its invasive seriously, sorry
  • You’re a store clerk and fuck, is that my ex? Can I please hide behind this counter?
  • You’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and I fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though I didn’t need it.
  • You work at a pet store and I came in to look at tarantulas but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn’t help that you’re terrified of spiders
  • I’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and I’m carrying you down a ladder. Stop complimenting my muscles for fucks sake
  • We work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I noticed that you’re the asshole stealing my lunch from the office fridge.
  • I’m a firefighter and you live near the station I work at and we talk/flirt with each other a lot. One day me and my team get called to put out a fire and it’s your home ablaze. You don’t make it.
  • I work at a fruit store and you come in almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves and then leave. Today you made the apples spell ‘call me’
  • It’s 2am and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole - stop laughing! You’re a cop, aren’t you supposed to be helping?
  • You’re drunk and want my name tattooed on your ass.
  • You always bring your dates to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone… you okay mate?

Winter Times

  • It’s snowing and I usually walk to work but that’s not happening, hey roomie, can you please drive me? Yes I know its 4am
  • I accidently gave all my winter clothes to charity over the summer and not its not so much summer, but I’m broke and hey… could you give me your old winter clothes… maybe?
  • I love the cold, but I promised to visit you for a good 4 months and wow, why did I do this? There isn’t snow here?
  • I don’t know you, but you just threw a snowball at my face, mate, its on.
  • I don’t know who the hell you are, but my roommate has someone over and It’s really cold outside…. Can I come in? Or like, have a blanket, or even a towel?

Old Friends

  • I knew you in high school and I ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia
  • I met you once when I was 12, we started a pen-pal relationship across the world and haven’t stopped even though we are a lot older now. 
  • You were my best friend when we were younger but your family moved to the other side of the world, and we haven’t talked in years. But now your back and wow how did you recognise me when I can’t even remember your name?

Fake Dating

  • I hired you to be my date for a wedding but your super cute, maybe we cannot fake-date? 
  • I’m fake dating you to have someone to vent to on family gatherings while also pissing off my conservative uncle that I never liked and wow… have your eyes always been this nice?
  • We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people always want photos of us in compromising positions and so we always end up fake-dating the entire day but you’re actually really hot and I’m head over heels for you
  • My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick make out with me, I’ll pay you.

Miscellaneous

  • I’m blind and wow your voice is absolutely beautiful can you just keep talking? Forever? Please?
  • My younger sibling is besties with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little
  • We are both at a grocery store at am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal, its on!
  • You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all my Nutigrain 
  • We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice-cream and maybe we should eat it together?
  • Our parents are dating and thank god I’m not the only one pissed off about this
  • I went to museum to get some inspiration and then I saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe and wow you just noticed me drawing you and this is awkward
  • I decide to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happened to pass by and now you’re laughing at me
  • I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly
  • We are trapped in a bank during a robbery
  • Your country is trying to take over mine and I might be a little attracted to you and stop this it’s really hard to retaliate okay?
  • I was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me
my thoughts on logan *spoilers*

-LOGAN WAS SO FUCKING GOOD HOLY FUCK
-never in a million years did i think i would cry so many times during an xmen ~related~ film but bitch!!!
-this movie came after me so many times i am shook
-this was such an emotional experience
-it was so packed too i usually go on discount days but i had to see this and wow literally not a seat left open!!!
-first movie from the franchise to be rated r and damn!!! It really needed it, i can’t imagine the film being pg 13
-i really loved the r rating… the gore the cussing the darker and more mature tone was something i didn’t think i needed til i saw this film
-the darker tone made it so much more intense and made logan feel more human
-fight/action scenes were all pure gratuitous fun i enjoyed all of it
-laura is adorable and shes a bad bitch my daughter will be like that!!! like wow this girl got paid to deadass be silent for half the movie but when she talked i was shook af
-and the nurse gabriella being aleida from oitnb like hey girll!!
-the banter between professor x and logan ugh and when logan called charles his dad
-this side of wolverine/ logan was so raw and sad.
-he def was not the mutant hero ive grown up watching but that was also the refreshing part bc it made it seem more realistic to me
-heartbreaking to watch someone spiral downward especially with the drinking and self hatred and the suicidal thoughts ugh
-laura is a mini wolverine but gonna grow to be so much stronger i love her every time she fucked someone up i was screaming YAAS
-finding out shes his daughter ugh i knew it bur dang!!
-honestly pierce the bad guy was sexy af i was having dirty thoughts while hating him at the same time
-i’m not a box of avocados logan
-logan is really so broken and traumatized inside
-charles telling logan that this is what its like to be normal before he left with that mans to fix the water or whatever
-and its sad to see charles so weak and sick and trapped in his mind and broken as well after what he did in westchester
-losing control is so awful and seeing someone who was once so great be at this point hurts
-THIS FILM WAS AFTER ME YALL I WAS SO ATTACKED
-when charles woke up in that familys house and was talking about how he remembered things and that it was the best night of his life but he didnt deserve it I WAS CRYING
-then i was like OMFG LOGAN IS ABOUT TO KILL HIM??? Turns out it was his fuckass clone mutant but i was still shook
-hugh jackman is a daddy he can still get it
-logan coping with charles was so sad this father son relationship rly fucked me up it was so cute when they were joking abt the past at academy during dinner
-laura gives me life!!! W her docs and cute ass outfit in sunglasses but she still vicious yas queen
-her relationship w charles was so beautiful too
-her driving!!! Aha and finally speaking that was a funny cute lil scene i was expecting her to be a little sassier but that wouldnt fit the tone of the movie so its all good
-all the cute lil mutant kids!!!! omfg so adorable its really fcked up what they were doing at transigen i was heated ugh
-they were so sweet helping him and ugh the scenes just between logan and laura rlly fucked me up like when she held his hand after he buried charles…
-my god the development of these relationships really messed me up!!!
-honestly his self loathing and pity party was getting a little annoying and the whole im no good for you act etc etc but i understand i guess
-telling laura she and her friends reminded him of the xmen RIP
-“people hurt me” “were different i hurt people”
-ugh i literally love them so much when he told her he was gonna shoot himself w that bullet then she took it from him wow cryin
-him being like u dont need me everyone i care about gets hurt or killed then she roasted him with the “THEN I GUESS ILL BE FINE” like damn girl
-ugh him coming to the rescue and taking the green stuff ugh i just knew this wouldnt end well but the fight scenes and seeing some of the kids use their powers was nice
-also enjoyed all the bad guys gettjng absolutely destroyed
-literally FUCK clone logan so hard she was really goin at him but i knew logans fate was inevitable since it was hughs last hoorah but wow
-SOBBING HES LITERALLY IMPALED ON THAT FUCKING TREE DYING ANS SHES CUTTING THE TREE AND REALIZES SHE CANT SAVE HIM
-SHE LITERALLY LOST EVERY ADULT WHO CARED FOR HER “dont be what they made you”
-i was in fucking puddles then she held his hand and called him fucking daddy!!!! THAT RUINED ME WHEN SHE ACKNOWLEDGE HE WAS HER FATHER HOLY FRICK
-“so this is what it feels like” logans last words realizing what its like to care for someone again/what it feels like to die omg laura crying made me cry
-then her speech after she buried him!!! THEN SHE WENT AND TURNED THE CROSS TO AN X AND I FELT APART OF MY SOUL DIE LIKE KNOWING EVERYONE IN THAT UNIVERSE FROM THE XMEN WERE DEAD. IT HIT ME SO HARD
-the end. thank u for sticking w me if u read this whole thing talk to me about it im emotionally unstable
-idk i prob left some stuff out but this is a lot already im lowkey so sad rn
-i cant wait for the next xmen movie with the other cast i need more this was all my childhood upto now i need it all please

i have so many feelings about everyone’s character development in stranger things 2

- i actually love steve now like he just grows so much and you see he actually cares about nancy and really takes care of the kids and ahjjfjlalsljd i have so many feelings about this

- eleven’s coming of age arc is so beautiful

- and will????? wow

- like

- i am completely bl o w n a w a y by noah schnapp’s acting skills. just can’t even believe it

- mike’s character really deepens I think, and the emotion on his face when eleven comes back is so palpable and so strong and you can see the barest trace of tears in his eyes

- DUSTIN. I DID NOT APPRECIATE HIM ENOUGH BEFORE BT LIKE THE THING AT TE END WHERE HE LET EVERYONE GET AROUND DART BY FEEDING HIM ONE LAST TIME AND LIKE SHOWING KINDNESS INSTEAD OF KILLING HIM AH

- dustin does not get enough love i think

- HOPPER AND ELEVEN. WOW. MY FAVORITE DADDY-DAUGHTER PAIR. MY SHINING LOVES. MY PRECIOUS ANGELS. WOWOWOWOWOOW

- JOYCE WOW

- and bob. what a cutie. the best guy.

- also wtf was that thing with billy and mrs wheeler like what

- i dont think ive ever been so emotionally invested in tv characters before like i feel like they’re my friends

It’s weird but some of y'all get so offended when others talk about the members not being straight? Do you really think that out of all the idol groups out there, not even one of your “oppas” or “unnies” is queer?

And for those of you who say that their sexualities is none of our business: you are right, we don’t need to know everything about them. But do you know how important it is to know that the people you admire are queer?

Growing up with kpop (like..since 2009) and coming into terms with my sexuality was very….hard. I thought being gay was “disgusting” and I hated myself so much for that. Seeing some idols get absolutely disgusted by kissing someone of the same gender (the shitty ass paper game) and hearing idols change pronouns when making covers (the wonder girls and big bang event waaaaayyy back then) to make sure boys were with girls…it made me think that what I felt towards girls was wrong. After all, all the people I admire were straight and never really addressed lgbt in a positive light.

But wow, when I saw RM’s tweet about that Macklemore song I literally shed tears. I don’t know why I was so emotional but man, I was seeing an idol support me, reassure me that what I am is okay and not a taboo.

It may not be important to some of you but for me, a queer person myself, seeing lgbt themes being mentioned by the idols I admire so much, and the possibility that one of them is like me, it makes me so happy. It makes me feel so secure and that I’m not alone.

And that’s an issue that a lot of lgbt people face. We feel so alone and not “normal” because we only see girls liking boys and boys liking girls.

But BTS mentions us, doesn’t neglect us, and makes us feel included. A lot of songs in Her are gender neutral because “love is not limited to gender, race, etc?” RM legit said that and I couldn’t stop smiling when I found out.

It’s just… I wish I didn’t see so many people dragging other lgbt armys for thinking that maybe, maybe… the boys we love so much are like us. Of course, if you’re homophobic I understand the reasoning but those who aren’t and say that their sexualities are none of our business? Bitch you reblog them sleeping in their rooms and love when you find out personal things about them. The fuck? I guess knowing how their dorm looks like or seeing them sleep is okay but thinking about their sexualities is out of boundaries.

You know, it must be really hard for the lgbt idols too when they see their fans being so adamant that they are straight and get offended if others think their idols are queer. I hope they know that there are queer fans that support them no matter what and are ready to welcome them if they are part of the community. I hope they know.

This will probably offend many people but I wanted to share since it’s my blog lol and maybe other people feel the same way. To the lgbt army: I hope you guys are all happy and don’t get discouraged by the hate from homophobes. It’s always been tough for us but hey, we can get through this.

Btw it’s such a straight thing to sit in each other’s laps on a unicorn floatie and….i won’t go further but yeah the “no homo” attitude that some of yall have is ridiculous.

Mystic Messenger : Day 1 ~ V Walkthrough (FULL ANSWERS)

I worked all alone - I cheked each answers ~ Please be considerate.

Like, reblog, or do nothing, but please don’t copy/paste it and claim it as your own… I am on my own and spent a lot of time to do this.

If you are on phone, please setting the page to be seen in the computer version! On the phone, the answers are sometimes unaligned and it can confuse you…

In order to not bother and annoy my followers who don’t play this game by this looong post, I’ll put a seperate line. Click to see.

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Sope Fic Recs

 okay my descriptions are crappy but here are some yoonseok fanfics

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think tidy by nivo - G, 2k 

i read this 5 times maybe its short but its so worth it

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hello !!! it’s amira back at it again w a follow forever nd this time it’s for a milestone that actually had me screaming at my laptop !!! i’ve had this blog for about 9 months nd became a monbebe in january 2017 nd it really was the Greatest decision of my life,,,, i’ve met so many amazing people who i can happily call my friends nd it’s just ???? i cant even describe how happy i am that we can support mx together,,,, nd to everyone following me like ??? thank u ???? all i do is talk abt rarepairs monsta x shownu nd make gifs but ur here nd im here nd like woW okay im !!! emotional !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyWAYS before i start like :/ tearing up all over my laptop or smth Equally as Uglie, under the cut you can find messages to my close friends nd a list of mutuals who i love nd adore w all my heart !!!!

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can i just say, that with all these members leaving groups, and groups disbanding, i am SO thankful for shinee. im so thankful they’re still all together after nearly 9 years and are still producing music to this day. who knows what problems they had to go through, and what obstacles they faced. yet they’re still here, and i am so grateful for that. we don’t know what will happen, when they will disband, if they will disband, but i am so happy that today, they’re still part of the few older groups that still remain together.

I watched Lady Gaga’s documentary on Netflix today out of curiosity. And she was kind of just emotional thought vomiting when she said something that really resonated with me. She said, “I’m not a receptacle for your pain. I’m not just a place for you to put it.” And near the beginning she was talking about how she just doesn’t have a threshold for men and their bullshit anymore because she just doesn’t care. I’m like wow, it’s me. Relatable. Anyway. You should watch it if you haven’t already. It’s so interesting and real. Not just like, “Hey, I am a celeberity and welcome to my unrelatable, outlandish life.” Like she really is just being a person. Being someone you can relate to. 

 Wow, I’m so Mature and In Control of My Emotions. Break-ups with boys don’t really bother me. All I feel is mild annoyance, perhaps. I don’t understand why break-ups seem to be such a big deal for other people…? Well, I’ve always been called The Stoic One. Because this is exactly who I am.
 Yes. ….. ….Years later, when my best friend said she loved me but not THAT way, I cried so hard I gave myself a nosebleed. After an entire year of gross crying and sobbing on the floor (or in the shower) I had to accept that I do, in fact, have feelings. A LOT of feelings, actually. Gay feelings, mostly

Ya know I don’t know why I have to pick on David
He did nothing, but be a ball of sunshine
One that I Sometimes wish I could be
But I made this because I didn’t want to be the only sad, crying person in the house
I may not want to talk to people 
But I don’t want to be crying alone
WOW I am a such logical person
Again Sorry David

[EDIT]
I FORGOT TO COLOR THE WATCH!
I’m a dumbass

anonymous asked:

Have you ever done an analysis on the gifset you just reblogged, with Phil saying 'You loved it, you wanna do it more'? When I first watched that moment I thought it was very flirtatious, the sort of thing that (back then) they wouldn't have normally said anywhere except at home with the cameras off

Could you pls talk about the you loved it iconic moment? I believe there’s not much to say apart from the obvious teasing and giggling but I still adore to read your opinions and what you believe they thought during that kind of moments ♡

ugh wow BLESS both of you for asking about this moment, bc i am truly emotional over how much i love this moment and really the whole scene that precedes it with phil quizzing dan about dragon words. you might think i don’t have a lot to say but like,,, do you know me?? ?? ?? naturally, i have SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS and am hAPPY to ramble about it at length. 

this video came out a few months before i started watching dan and phil and i remember going on an odyssey of watching all of their videos and seeing this moment and thinking that it felt so substantially different to any other particular scene from their vids in the past few years. and i decided that it’s because it is one of the only times where dan treats one of phil’s questionable remarks/innuendos as though it’s directly being addressed to him (bc it literally is lol) and he reacts accordingly (that blush!!!! the averted eyes!! !) when i first saw it i couldn’t decide if i thought it was super fucking cute or just horrifically cringe and awkward (i still kind of think it is the latter tbh, because something about it makes you, the viewer, really aware that THEY are really aware of the camera and the audience and you can physically feel them being constrained by this amorphous audience gaze in that moment). i settled on it being both though–that awkwardness is definitely there, where they’re flirting but they’re doing it in a somewhat stiff manner and dan is clearly searching for a sarcastic reply to phil’s “you wanna do it more,” in order to turn it into a typical ‘weird phil/normal dan’ exchange. this is why he starts saying “alright–that’s–that was–” but he’s clearly a bit too flustered to come up with anything witty and dismissive. so then there’s a really obvious jump cut and it’s just ,,, so good. cute that phil succeeded in making dan so flustered and just sat there gently giggling about it in his very phil way, cute that dan was so blush and giggly too, and then super fuckin cute and significant that they decided to LEAVE THIS WHOLE ExCHANGE IN THE VID and happily share it with us. i mean looking back on it now there’s hardly anything remarkable about it in comparison to all of the ridiculous and blatant flirting they get up to these days on dapg, but for that time it seems like the decision to not cut that part out was a big one. 

regarding the lil quiz scene before it … damn. some actual Gold. i feel like dan was genuinely surprised by phil introducing this bit (as in, it wasn’t pre-planned at all) and i love how candid his reaction to it feels. i think that the lack of preparedness for it is the reason that dan seems unable to even slightly conceal his fondness throughout. it’s just bursting out of him no matter how much he bites down on his smile, and it’s so fucking cute. the way he almost proudly is like ‘if you’re wondering what it’s like to be phil’s friend in any social situation … he comes prepared with icebreakers,’ to underscore how creative and funny phil is. THE LEVEL OF WARMTH AND SOFTNESS IN HIS VOICE and the cute, disgruntled exasperation when he’s like “that’s a phil” in response to “skeen,” it’s so!!!!!!!! ! !! ! ! the really intense way he just stares at phil with a tiny smile when phil is wrapping up the quiz and saying “come for the game leave with some knowledge.” ahhhhhh. dan tried so hard to maintain that sarcastic veneer of like,, ‘phil wtf u and ur weird ideas this is so dumb wtf it’s taking the momentum out of the game wtf i’m going to roll my eyes so hard they fall out w t f’ but like in actuality it is one of the softest things i have ever seen. it really reminds me of one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE dnp videos: the great baby animal quiz. i used to watch this ALL THE TIME when i was sick or sad bc it’s a solid 2 and a half minutes of some of the softest bants they’ve ever had, and dan just blatantly adoring the shit out of phil and his animal facts :( they are so cute and good and nice :(

AU Masterlist

((All of the following have been collected))

Awkward Meetings

-I broke your nose in a mosh pit, sorry

-I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital, this is sort of awkward, are you okay?

-You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man

-You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and I’m too shocked to respond to your apologies

-You laughed in a restaurant, but your laugh is really weird and I thought you were choking so I’m awkwardly humping you while attempting to perform the Heimlich maneuver and why this working isn’t, you’re just choking harder now this is awful

-We met on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame

-I get really sick on roller-coasters and you are sitting in front of me, I’m so sorry

-You’re the bastard who keeps parking in front of my house and you just caught me drawing a dick on your window with a permanent marker… ugh, oops.

-I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold another fucking shirt and just leave it, I’m going to fucking shove it down your throat

-You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????

-You’re my new dealer and you just friended me on Facebook and idk how to react to that

-You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist

-This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and you’re deathly afraid of flying.

-I got into a cab to find someone already inside

-You thought I was your friend/sister

-Holy shit, I’m in the wrong car.

-I was walking by a roller coaster and your shoe flew off and hit me in the head and now I’m on the floor trying not to fall unconscious.

-It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR

-You fell asleep on me in the subway and I should probably wake you up and it’s my stop next stop but it’s okay, I can always just catch the subway back…

-I know nothing about camping and all my friends left me at the site. -Please, help me, I think I just heard a bear

-This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?

-We met in a movie theatre and now you’re clinging to me because you’re terrified and I’m okay with that because it means I get your popcorn.

-You had a party and I got really drunk and stole your microwave, so now I’m at your place and your super hungover so here, I made breakfast?

 

Neighbor/Roommate

-The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the crack of dawn

I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbor standing on a chair to avoid a rat/mouse/cricket (etc.)

-My neighbor has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is below theirs

-You keep stealing my doormat and HAH, I’ve got you this time thief!

-The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is leaking through my ceiling

-My neighbor’s sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident.

-My roommate keeps stealing my coffee so now I make extra

-You’re my new neighbor and wow man, you have some really weird habits.

-You’re my neighbor and you are stealing my Wi-Fi to watch porn and can you not?

-You locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so please come into my apartment I’ll make you hot chocolate?

-I heard you singing at 3 am and joined in and now you’re at my door and wtf mate I think your drunk but your voice is really nice so?

-I just set the fire alarm in our building off again… sorry. I know it’s like the fourth time this week…

You keep mowing your lawn when I’m trying to sleep and seriously FUCK YOU

-My new neighbor is really hot and wow I didn’t even like women until now? And now she is in the garden planting flowers in her bikini wow… I’m in too deep

-It’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but soME PEOPLE are trying to sLEEP

-We’ve never met but we shower at the same time and our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we start duets?

-“You’re my roommate and it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how Charles Dickens inspired prison reform and how the moon must feel insignificant because it borrows light from the sun and this is all very interesting but will you please shut up and go to sleep” AU.

-“We live next door to each other and I can see you through the window while you’re dancing to your iPod in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and God you’re a dork” AU
-My shower is broken because of some stupid mistake and I have to use the one in your room
-I’m a heavy sleeper and my alarm is so loud and obnoxious you have to wake me up in some way to switch it off
-Mutual hate for our stupid landlord/flat mate/neighbor
-I woke up form a nightmare screaming and you’ve rushed over from your apartment to try and calm me down and…you look really hot when you wear glasses and you’re almost naked

 

Pets

-I’m out walking and my dog started chasing your dog.

-My cat/dog ran away and you just found it but refuse to accept the reward.

-We are neighbors and your cat got my cat pregnant… so, wanna raise this little kitty family?

-My pet tarantula/snake (etc.) escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is terrified of snakes/spiders

-I need you to pet sit my pet for a while and I forgot to mention it’s a snake, the mice are in the freezer. Thanks, bye

-My cat really hates you cat and that’s the third time this week I’ve had to pry them apart.

-My cat keeps breaking into your apartment and it ate all your plants… dinner to make up for it?

-My cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so I followed him inside and you came home earlier than I expected and found me in the middle of your living room and honestly I’m not a burglar

-Your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and sorry not sorry I love this dog

-You were walking your dog when you found me passed out on a park bench and thank you for waking me up and buying coffee instead of stealing my wallet

-I know it’s cute, but we can’t keep it.

-Fun fact, I picked this up on my way home.

-You said you wanted something cute for your Birthday, but I have a feeling our definition of that word is vastly different.

-I reckon that you’ll be unable to let them go.

-We need to find its actual owner. Come on.

-Oh no, their eyes. My biggest weakness.

-Look at its little feet. I’m in love.

-I suppose we can have one, but I mean it. One.

 

Music

-I’m on a bus and wow, you’re singing really loudly and everyone is giving you weird looks, hey bud, tone it down, also great choice in music

-You play Double Bass/Cello and I play 1st chair Violin and we keep making eye contact and damn your super cute.

-You play in an orchestra and I love these songs so much, plus you’re really cute. Shit man, you’ll never notice me in the huge crowd…

-Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?

-I tried to act cool at this concert and I thought I was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground in pieces and everyone’s glaring at me… sorry?
-Your music choice is so bad but you’re undeniably, yet irritatingly cute when you bop your head along

Supernatural

-I’m a wizard and I just accidently appeared into your house. Oops.

-I died over 2000 years ago and you’ve been dead for like 2 hours, man, damn it now I have to explain this shit to you. Great.

-I’m immortal and you’re mortal and I don’t know how to explain this to you and soon enough you’re going to realise that I’m not aging… shiiittt

-You’re a Greek god and I’m the roman counterpart.

-I’m a ghost and you’re alive and I think I’m in love with you…. Fuck.

-You’re a faun and I’m a Satry

-I’m half demon and people often judge me based on my looks, but your blind and wow you actually like me?

-I’m a time traveler and I went back in time and wow I think I’m in love with you, fuck this isn’t good, I just faked being George Washington… wait what? George Washington doesn’t exist here? Shit… I actually am George Washington.

-I’m a writer and you’re my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft?

-I’m a werewolf but I don’t want to tell you because my wolf form might be that really small Chihuahua you keep mentioning you see when I go out…

-I’m an android and you’re a human and wow what is that warmth I feel when I see you?

-I’m a homesick telepath and you’re the poor soul who is receiving all these emotions, sorry

-Somehow I’m in your body and you’re in mine and shit man being this close to the ground is fucked up.

-I’m a genie and d you rubbed my lamp so congrats you get three wishes but you can’t seem to think of shit and why the fuck do I have to be stuck with you? Hurry up and think of some wishes okay?

-I was an awful angel and as punishment I have to be your guardian angel and wow your super cute and nice but I still hate you

-You keep having strange dreams that turn out to be us in a past life and you’re determined to fine me again but in this life I’m already dead.

-We live in the year 3090, you’re a scientist and I’m your assistant. Unfortunately and experiment goes wrong and I die. Now you’re trying to put my brain into a robot but it’s not the same

-I’m a vampire and I have a moment of weakness, you’re nearby and let’s just say it doesn’t end well

-I’m a dragon and you’re a really hot prince, that’s right, they locked up the wrong royalty.

-You’re a pirate and I’m a siren and woah… are you asexual? That’s so cool, hey wait, don’t go I just want to talk

-Your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I can see everything….

-Listen I am genetically modified and you WILL let me hide in your house

-Ok, so I panicked and kissed this human so he wouldn’t drown. And I know you don’t want me to keep him, and we can’t let him leave if he knows about us mere people so what do you want to do?

-You’re actually a really friendly and chill vampire and at night you float around outside of my bedroom window to talk with me about the universe and stuff
-I’m sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad

 

School/College

-I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit

-You’re my science lab partner and how the fuck did you just explode that beaker?

-I’m an art student and you just found my sketchbook and you’re going through it. Shit man can you give that back, I don’t care how good you think they are just don’t turn that page…

-You’re the school dork and I’m the school jock and fuck you can see where this is going

-We are the only two kids who ride this school bus, maybe we should carpool?

-I thought you were my roomies new boyfriend so I invited you in but you’re actually the RA of the dorm and now you think I want to have sex with you

-I accidently flooded the laundry room and you really need to do laundry

-You’re sitting in my seat in this lecture and who even are you? I’ve never seen you before… wait what, stop checking me out!

-We argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside the class

-You left your USB in the library computer and I had to go through your files to figure out who you are and in the end I read the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re really good?

-I’m a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you’re a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because I’m so shitty at this

-My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway and are now trying to comfort me and your sweater is really soft wow sorry

-You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and fuck it I’m trying to study over her so fuck you I’m going to put an end to this game by winning

-Romeo and Juliet of the math and English departments

-I want to get along with you roomie… but I like star wars… and you like star trek… this isn’t going to work.

-I usually talk to my friends through Morse code in class but… apparently you know Morse too… and now you know I think your butt is cute

-I got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and now I’m being adopted by someone who is really hot OH FUCKING NO
-we’re in general bio discussion and the topic is meiosis and… uh… why is the graduate student instructor telling us that we’re going to act it out? And assigning us all chromosome

-You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you

-You’re an Art student and I’m an English major and you keep stealing the papers for my assignment to doodle and I would kill you but you’re really cute and hey that’s actually a really nice sketch

-You’re the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished

-You’re the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and everybody’s scared of you and one day I catch you watching cat videos and doodling in the middle of a lecture and wow you’re a dork

-I’m a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared

-You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under you saucer

-It’s gym class and we’re playing volleyball and you spike really well and you manage to hit the ball square in my face and I think I’m bleeding and you’re apologizing profusely and it’s okay but you’re really cute so I guess I’ll take you up on that offer for coffee

-We have zero classes together but I see you at least five times a day what the fuck????

-I go on late night walks around campus and apparently you do too

-You work in the cafeteria on campus and I order the same thing every day so we keep making small talk and wow you actually seem pretty cool???

-You keep grabbing the biggest group study room but you never have a study group; I actually do have a group and I’m gonna give you a piece of my mind

-You work in the Starbucks on campus and picked up on my obscure reference/t-shirt from some obscure show/etc. and now I’m determined to talk to you about it

-We both went to grab the last ice cream and I’m insisting you take it but you’re insisting that I take it (added bonus: hey, why don’t we just share it?)

-We were on the same college tour

- It’s prime time for practice rooms and all of the good ones are taken except for that one – don’t you fucking dare, I will FIGHT you for it.

- I saw you sleeping on the couch in the lounge in the morning, but now it’s like 5 pm and you’re still here. Are you ok?

- Oh good an empty practice roo- HOLY SHIT. Why are you lying on the ground in a dark?!

- The theory professor makes no sense and you’re the star pupil. Teach me everything you know about theory and I will buy you anything you want from Starbucks. Grande. Venti. Frappuccino. Chai Tea Latte. You name it.

- I’m trying to study in the lounge and you’re blasting your music. I don’t care how much you love Mahler, have you ever heard of ear phones???

- I’m trying to schedule my recital, but you have the time/location I want. Ok, what do I have to sell you for that time slot/date?

- I agreed to help you with your music Ed video project and now you’re trying to teach me trumpet and my god I am terrible at this instrument.

- You’re really cute and I may have done more than three casual walk-bys of your practice room. I’m on my sixth walk-by when we make eye contact. Oh shit.

- I don’t know you, but you grabbed me to help with your audition videos and wow, you’re really good and attractive…Oh crap, stop the camera now?

- You’re in the orchestra and I’m in the choir. I’ve had a crush on you all semester. I’m pretty sure you’ve caught me staring at the violin section one to many times.

- Amidst all the Mozart, Beethoven, and Chopin I hear musical theatre?!?!?!!? I race out of my practice room and go on a mad hunt until I find you and oh my god you’re playing my favourite show let’s be friends!

 

 

Near Death Experiences

-Wow I was just in a fatal accident and who the hell are you? What is this I’m I dying? Wait no, I don’t want this, how do I get out of it? A deal you say, I’ll take it.

-You’re an executioner and I’m about to be executed but you can’t seem to run the guillotine, wait what, why are we running away, man you’re my favourite executioner

-Our plane/boat crashed and now it’s just us on this island.

-I just took a super dangerous job and you’re trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money

-It’s the middle of a war and I’m on a ship that you’re ship just torpedoed. Now I’m a prisoner and wow why can’t I feel my legs. I’m not cooperating until I can feel them again. What the fuck do you mean I’m paralyzed?

-I’m addicted to ____ (drugs/alcohol etc.) and you found me in an alleyway due to after effects of my addiction (beat up, overdose etc.) and decide to take me in.

-I sold my soul to bring you back to life and I don’t have long left please make this time count

 

Mistaken and Secret Identities

-I’m a thief/hacker/murder and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner

-I’m a superhero and you want to be like me but in doing so become a supervillain, what do you mean you don’t understand why I’m punching you?

-I’m a superhero, you’re a supervillain, but we don’t know each other’s identities and we are actually best friends

-I’m runaway royalty and you’re a commoner, fuck I’m so screwed I need your help, I’ll explain later

-You think I’m a celebrity and you’re talking too much for me to explain I am definitely not… that dude. What was his name again?

-You’re a superhero and I’m your best friend and what the fuck man? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? If you had maybe I would be fucking caught with this stupid ass monologue-ing villain

-I have a very cute neighbor and very thin walls and one day I call you and err… your moans are very synchronized with my neighbor’s…

-I’m a superhero and you’re a supervillain and I saw you visiting kids at the children’s hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it’s really hard to punch you in the face

 

Profession Based

-Your my mailman and I can’t help but notice that you linger at my door slightly longer than you need to ever since you saw me that one time. Do you want to come inside?

-I’m a private detective and you’re my client and fuck man you’re in some deep shit

-You’re a protester and I’m a police officer. Seriously can you please calm down a little bit, this is my job not my beliefs.

-I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist and I you’re an actor/model and are you flirting or???

-You’re a celebrity and sorry mate, I have to take pictures to pay rent, and I know it’s invasive seriously, sorry

-You’re a store clerk and fuck, is that my ex? Can I please hide behind this counter?

-You’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and I fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though I didn’t need it.

-You work at a pet store and I came in to look at tarantulas but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn’t help that you’re terrified of spiders

-I’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and I’m carrying you down a ladder. Stop complimenting my muscles for fucks sake

-We work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I noticed that you’re the asshole stealing my lunch from the office fridge.

-I’m a firefighter and you live near the station I work at and we talk/flirt with each other a lot. One day me and my team get called to put out a fire and it’s your home ablaze. You don’t make it.

-I work at a fruit store and you come in almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves and then leave. Today you made the apples spell ‘call me’

-It’s 2am and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole - stop laughing! You’re a cop, aren’t you supposed to be helping?

-You’re drunk and want my name tattooed on your ass.

-You always bring your dates to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone… you okay mate?

-The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???

-You and I are both baristas at a coffee shop and one day I step out of the café to take a break and walk in on you gleefully drawing phallic pictures on the chalkboard outside that no one pays attention to so what are you doing?

 

Teacher x Teacher

-The nice one who everybody loves with the grumpy and strict one that the students hate and the students wonder?????????how what the fuck. But later (not in school environment maybe by accident) the students (a group of them) see that the strict one isn’t really that strict and they love their partner

-The cool married teachers that talk about each other and everyone loves like one of them comes late to class and is like “sorry i’m late guys mx. [partner] is really sick and i wanted to be sure everything is alright” and the students spend 5 minutes fussing over the other teacher and asking questions about their wellbeing “ARE THEY DYING” “No Joey they’ve just caught a cold” [and trying to make this one forget about their class”

-two teachers that EVERYBODY ships like the students are trying to get them together, “Soo, Mx. A, Mx. B will have a concert tomorrow for the school and they need all the help and they asked me to tell you….so you can tell other students” “Mx. B didn’t tell me anything about it” “oh it was like, last moment thing you know. they didn’t have time. and like, they really need help.”

And the teacher is like “Thanks Johnson” and trying to be really cool but REALLY BEING NOT COOL OMG WHERE’S THE SQUAD OF DUCKLINGS TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO GO AND HELP

and like other teachers shipping them too

“Mx. A you know about the prom. There’s a rule that the teachers must have some partners too” [dunno if it already is something like this, it is not in my country] “I did not know about this rule.” “Oh it’s very recent. So, you know, teachers are never alone and can be protected in case it’s necessary. I also heard that Mx. B has no partner.”

OPPOSITE TEACHERS????

Like, science/maths teachers with art/languages teacher. Or stuff like this.

Talking about their subject passionately and the other not understanding shit but loving it anyway because they’re so fucking cute.

-We are both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts -we’ve received from student and you’ve won for the past three years

-RIVAL TEACHERS?????? Like here is your impossible love

-Teachers of the same subject in different schools fighting in competitions and shit

-Or teachers of the same subject talking passionately about their course. and praising each other.

-Teachers talking about their students, the bad ones and the cool ones

-LGBT teachers standing up for LGBT students and offering them support and helping them feel more at ease in this clusterfuck of school

-OTP 1 teacher/teacher and OTP 2 student/student

-OTP 2 being so thankful that OTP 1 exists. OTP 1 giving advice to OTP 2.

-DOMESTIC TEACHER/TEACHER

-Grading stuff together. Bringing each other food/beverages. Helping each other through all the stuff.

 

 

Old Friends

-I knew you in high school and I ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia

-I met you once when I was 12, we started a pen-pal relationship across the world and haven’t stopped even though we are a lot older now.

-You were my best friend when we were younger but your family moved to the other side of the world, and we haven’t talked in years. But now your back and wow how did you recognise me when I can’t even remember your name?

 

Fake Dating

-I hired you to be my date for a wedding but your super cute, maybe we cannot fake-date?

-I’m fake dating you to have someone to vent to on family gatherings while also pissing off my conservative uncle that I never liked and wow… have your eyes always been this nice?

-We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people always want photos of us in compromising positions and so we always end up fake-dating the entire day but you’re actually really hot and I’m head over heels for you

-My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick make out with me, I’ll pay you.

 

Mutual Friends

-“Our mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t know either of you” AU.

-“Our mutual friend invites us for Thanksgiving dinner with their other friends and now there’s a full-fledged food fight going on with potatoes and turkey flying everywhere and we’re both seeking refuge under the table whilst sharing a bag of chips that you brought (just in case)” AU.

- It’s our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re the only ones at the ceremony who are single

Smol and Tol

-you’re always making fun of my short legs well jokes on you sucker because you are failing so hard at this obstacles course with your giraffe limbs

-you can pout all you want, at the end of the day i win all the arguments because i can just pick you up and place you in a corner a sulk yourself tired

i really wanna knee you in the crotch right now but your crotch is too fucking high

-“how did you two meet?” “They tripped over me. While I standing.”

-man, i hate going out into huge crowds with you because i always lose you among all the children and i have to peruse through all of them to find you

-man, i love going out into huge crowds with you because you’re like a beacon sticking out and i’m basically never lost

-whenever i get too mad or frustrated or down you give me a piggyback and it’s embarrassing how much it calms me

-you’re so fantastic to cuddle because i can, like, hold all of you. no place misses out on my hugs, you get all the hug, the full hug,, all my love
-Tol likes to give Smol piggy backs wherever they go
-Smol tries to give Tol a piggy back and they both fall over and laugh
-Tol constantly gets asked out by random strangers at bars while Smol is mistaken as considerable younger and is never asked out so they’re always ready to fight the strangers off

Theatre

-that stage kiss WAS NOT SCRIPTED WTF

- I’m the stage manager and you’re the cocky lead who won’t SHUT UP backstage PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU

-for closing night bets you slipped me tongue during our stage kiss what the fuck do I do

-we’re not playing the romantic leads but everyone ships our characters and they keep making us take pictures together in costume (I kind of love it)

-we’re in the chorus together and you never know what the notes are so you have to stand impossibly close to me to listen and it just makes me mess up and I SWEAR TO GOD ARE YOU DOING THAT ON PURPOSE

-everyone in the show has to wear makeup I swear I will wrestle you into this chair if I have to

-oh my god you’re doing my makeup and you’re so close and I can’t breathe

-I may have learned your romantic lead’s part and then attempted to take them out the night of the show

-we made out in the light booth

-this is the first time I’ve seen you in costume and holy fuck how do you look so good in that

Cafe/Resturant

 

-You’re the cute and quiet customer that frequents the coffee shop where I’m a barista and also where my rival barista works and we’re both fighting for your attention in increasingly creative and inconspicuous ways (making foam art, writing cheesy pick-up lines on your napkin etc. etc.)

-You’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee

-You and I go out to a sushi bar and the sushi chef yells at you for being allergic to a particular kind of fish and now you’re crying and I’m trying to comfort you

-You and I are at a sushi restaurant and you’re continuously snagging sushi off the belt that I have to pay for and you don’t seem to be going to stop anytime soon but you look so cute when you’re eating with that smile on your face what the hell man

-We’re both strangers sitting in the same booth at an eatery because all the other booths are full and you’re drawing smiley faces on your plate with ketchup and wow your concentrated frown is cute

-I’ve been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what to make of you

-I’m a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile

-I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista

-You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in icreasingly horrible ways

-You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip and you never finish your drink, are you trying to look mature or something?

-Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in?

Soulmate

-Last words are on your skin instead of their first words so you don’t know your soulmate until you lose them
-People age until they reach 18 and then they stop aging until they meet their soul mate
-The song you get stuck in your head is the one your soulmate is singing (Bonus: when they meet, the one annoys the other by singing their most hated song)
-You only see colour when your touching your soulmate
-Necklaces given to you at birth of half a unique shape and your soulmate gets the other half
-Little bruises and cuts show up on your soulmate
-Stripe of your soulmates hair colour on your wrist
-Vision is shaded to the eye colour of your soul mate and is that why until you meet them
-You have a tattoo that tells you what they’re most passionate about
-Tattoo saying how old you and your soulmate will be when you meet
-You can see every colour except the one that’s your soul mates eye colour
-Soulmates name on one wrist and enemies name on the other

 

Fun Fair/Carnival

-Hey Miss/Mister you paid but forgot to take your cotton candy so here it is
-Both our kids are on a merry-go-round and are starting to fight over a particular pony would you be so kind to tell your kid to fuck off, my kid got here first
-You’re scared of roller coasters and friends are all on different rides and you look so miserable, let me buy you coffee
-I’m so sorry I split my milkshake all over you, can I make it up to you
-Excuse me sir, you need a pair to go on the roller coaster, any singles here?
-I’m sorry sir, we’re closing up you can’t go on this merry-go-round, bit fuck it, we’re the only ones here

Miscellaneous

-I’m blind and wow your voice is absolutely beautiful can you just keep talking? Forever? Please?

-My younger sibling is besties with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little

-We are both at a grocery store at am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal, it’s on!

-You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all my Nutigrain

-We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice-cream and maybe we should eat it together?

-Our parents are dating and thank god I’m not the only one pissed off about this

-I decide to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happened to pass by and now you’re laughing at me

-I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

-We are trapped in a bank during a robbery

-Your country is trying to take over mine and I might be a little attracted to you and stop this it’s really hard to retaliate okay?

-I was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting Romeo and Juliet at me

-I ditch prom to attend a local poetry slam and you’re also there and I never really noticed what a cute smile you have and hey do you maybe want to bond over our mutual love for ‘Howl’???

-You’re new in town and you seem very intimidating but as it turns out you have an awful sense of direction even with a map and you’re actually adorkable so here let me help you

-It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious and I think I love you???

-The mailman constantly mixes up your home address and mine together and keeps on sending me your letters and packages and I’m sorry I look through them but your life seems very interesting as well as those books on black magic in one of your packages so wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?

-You’re going through my sketchbook and giving questioning looks and I swear to God I’m just a deranged artist and not a serial killer

- There’s a scrawny black cat in our neighborhood that hates everyone and everything but follows you around for some reason and I see you pet it and feed it fish fries are you a witch

-I work part-time as a cashier at the local corner store and you come here regularly to shop and bond with me over the microwavable chicken bites so how about I take you out on a proper date instead?

“I’m the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad

-“You’re a tea-lover yet you come to the coffee shop where I work at just to see my foam art and you give me hefty tips regularly so I’ve taken it upon myself to master the art of tea-making just for you

-You work at a fast food restaurant and as you hand me my food you lecture me for ruining my health what is this hypocrisy

-I went to museum to get some inspiration and then I saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe and wow you just noticed me drawing you and this is awkward

-You have no idea what personal space is and it’s really distracting when your face is two inches away from mine, what if I turn my head and accidentally kiss you
-You don’t like snuggling or a lot of touching but when you’re asleep you’re a cuddle for better or for worse
- I was eating chocolate and you came over and started kissing me, and so I finally offered you some and you say it tastes better like this

_�{��-�

A Trolls Fanfiction: “The Wedding Night”

Warning: This is Smut (R-18), so if you don’t like it don’t read it!

Couple: Branch x Poppy.

Summary: After the movie’s events, Branch marries Poppy and he’s coronated King of the Trolls in front of his people. The reign is in good hands now, with a good Queen and good King. But after the cerimony and the party, the two have to consummate their marriage and… Branch’s innate nervousness takes over.

The Wedding Night:


“Our new King!” with an happy shout Peppy, the ex-ruler of the Trolls’ kingdom and Poppy’s father, placed a crown made of leaves and wood on Branch’s head, looking at his jubilant subjects: everyone was happy for the couple, finally able to marry after a long year. Then Peppy turned to the blue Troll and said with a low but soft voice: “Congratulations, my boy. I’m happy to see that my daughter has found a companion like you, brave and loyal. I know for sure that our people will be safe under your rule.”.

“Thank you, sir. I-…” Branch kindly replied, a little bit tense, stopping after a few seconds.He looked back at Poppy and smiled. “… WE’ll do our best for the sake of the kingdom.”.

“I know you will, you are always so well prepared.” Peppy said, cheerful and playful, placing a warm hand on the shoulder of his pink daughter. “And after all, we all wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you two. I own you my life and my respect.”.

“Thanks, but if it wasn’t for Poppy I wouldn’t be who I am today, I would still be the grey, grumpy Troll that I was. Poppy is the one who saved us all. Who saved me.” Branch said sincerely, never taking his light blue eyes off his beautiful and excited bride.

Poppy, moved by his words, took a step forward and grabbed his husband’s hands. With a warm tone, she proposed: “Would you like to announce the wedding party with me now?”.

“Of course I would.” he happily agreed, tightening the grip on her smaller hands and looking at her with anticipation.

“Then let’s get this party started!” she suddenly screamed, almost giving him an heart attack, taking out her bell and starting to ring it while singing a song. “Come on everybody, to the dancefloor!”.

Branch laughed silently and just rolled his light blue eyes. “She’ll never change.”.


After the party, that lasted five hours or more, their friends approached them with big smiles and open arms.

“Branch! Congratulations and felicitations, buddy!” Cooper jumped in front of them, smiling and hugging him tightly with his four, cerulean blue arms. The blue Troll just reciprocated, he got used to their acts of affection. “Look at you, married with Poppy and King of the Trolls. They grow up so fast!”.

“We are happy for you, man! The party was great!” Guy Diamond sang with his autotune voice, patting his friend’s back. “And I am so, so proud!” Smidge nodded, with her manly and scary voice.

“We couldn’t ask for better rulers.” Biggie shyly said, holding his pet worm (who had an elegant black smoking on), Mr. Dinkles, in his fat hands. “Look! Mr. Dinkles is excited for you, too!”.

“Congratulations, Branch!” the two Fashionistas, Satin and Chenille, echoed, looking at their new King. “But Branch, listen to us, you should really upgrade your wardrobe! We’ll make some new clothes for you, ok?”.

“It’s not necessary girls, I like my clothes, thanks you very much anywa-” the blue Troll started, feeling a bit uneasy, but suddenly, Cooper interrupted them with a shout.

“Group hug, I think it’s time for a Group hug!” the giraffe Troll demanded, opening his arms. “And I wanna hear a big “Hooray!” for our Poppy and our Branch! HIP HIP, HOORAY!”.

“Aw. Thank you so much for being here, guys!” Poppy smiled happily, glad to have their friends always by their side.

“Don’t mention it, Poppy! We are just so happy for you two.” Cooper nodded, than suggested with a yawn: “Anyways, I think it’s time for us to go now, it’s getting darker out here and I’m really, really tired.”.

“Thanks again for coming, guys. We are leaving too, I think that me and Poppy have a lot to discuss tonight.” Branch smiled, putting an arm on his wife’s shoulders.


“Oh, I see, and a lot of things to “do”!” Satin laughed, winking at her twin and friends; Chenille just punched her and snickered, saying: “What a pervert, sister.”. Everybody snickered!

“What do you mean? What’s so funny?” Branch asked, a bit irritated, tilting his head to the left side.

They just replied with smirks and grins: “Oh, you know exactly what we mean, Branchie!”.

“No, I don’t get it, I don’t get it at all.” he shook his head, looking at the pink Queen with anger and suspect. “What’s going on, Poppy? Why are they laughing at me?”.

“Guys please, cut it out…” Poppy whispered, trying to make them stop, reading the blue Troll’s mind. He was getting mad, that wasn’t a good sign. “It’s nothing Branch, they are just playing around with us about… uh, about our… you know…”.

“No, I don’t!”.

“Come on buddy, we are talking about tonight, your first nigh!” Guy Diamond said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We all know what you’re gonna do, so we were kidding… don’t be angry.”.

“Treat her well and don’t hurt her, or I’ll punch you in the nose tomorrow morning!” Smidge threatened him, cracking her knuckles, but then she smiled in a disturbing way. “So be careful, my good friend!”.

“Be very gentle.” Biggie suggested, blushing a little and covering Mr. Dinkles “hears”. “And caring. And sweet. A real gentleman!”.

“But not too much, or she’ll get bored.” Chenille added, crossing her arms. “And if the baby will be a girl, I wanna be her godmother.”.

“No, I wanna be her godmother!”.

“Me!”.

“No, me!”.

“If it’s a boy, can I be his godfather?”.


Poppy felt Branch trembling next to her, his face dark and pissed. He was on the edge of exploding. “That’s none of your buisness, you-!”.

“Ok, ok everybody, time to go to bed! We are tired, and we are a little stressed right now, sooo…” she sang happily, grabbing her husband’s arm and taking him away from them, to their private room. “Goodnight and sweet dreams, see you tomorrow people!”.

“Goodnight, lovebirds! Good luck for tonight, have fun!” they replied with inappropriate voices. “And go Branch, Branch for the win! Branch, Branch, Branch, Branch, Branch is our man!”.

“I’m gonna kill those nosy-!” he started, embarassed and angry, growling a little and blushing deeply.

“Just. Keep. Walking. Ignore them.” Poppy scolded him, still holding Branch’s arm with a deadly grip. He was incorrigible. “They are just having fun, leave them be. We are almost there, by the way.”.


Inside their room:

“Are you ok, Branch? You looked tense today. Like, REALLY tense, more than usual.” Poppy noticed with concern, tilting her head to her left side. She looked in the boy’s worried eyes, and she got her answer. “You definitely are, I can see it. What’s wrong?”.

Taken by surprise, Branch studdered a quick and unconvincingly answer. “No, no, no. I’m totally fine, don’t worry about me.”.

But Poppy didn’t fall for it, she knew that something was off with him. “No, you are not fine, and don’t try to fool me. I know you, better than you think and please, I want to know what’s-” she suddenly stopped, realizing what was going on. “Branch… are you… nervous about this night, am I right? That’s why you got mad with our friends.”.

“Me!? Nervous? Pff, no!” he laughed hysterically, showing his true emotions by doing so. Damn, better admit it then. “I-I mean… maybe a little bit, ok? But don’t get me wrong, I really want to do this with you, ‘cause I love you. It’s not a big deal after all, is it? It’s just reproduction. No, no! I didn’t mean that we are going to do that JUST for reproduction, but… Ugh, I’m making this situation more uncomfortable than it should be, am I?”.

“Ahahah yes, you are!” she said, amused by her sweet and shy husband (wow, it was strange and unusual for her to call him “husband”), kissing his cheek and trying to calm him down. “It’s ok, I’m nervous too, but I’m sure we can do it. We’ll start slowly, ok?”.

“O-ok.” Branch finally whispered, regaining a bit of his confidence thanks to her words. “So when… How do we-?”.

“Let’s just start with a simple kiss, shall we? No worries Branch, not tonight.” she smiled jokingly, taking a step forward, closing her bright pink eyes and pressing her lips against his.


The boy closed his eyes as well and began returning the kiss, that slowly became more and more passionate and, after just a few seconds, he felt Poppy’s tongue pushing kindly against his semi-closed mouth. With a smile, he parted his lips and obligated, their wet tongues swirled against each other in a fascinating and heated dance.

Acting on instinct and carried away by the moment, Branch bit gently on the Queen’s lips and pulled, but she let out a loud yelp mixed with a surprised moan. The blue Troll pulled away instantly when he heard the strange sound, concerned. Bad start.

“Are you ok, Poppy? I’m sorry if I hurt you or if I messed up, I was-” he asked frantically, afraid that he might have ruined the moment, before being interrupted by the girl.

“No, no, no, you misunderstood! It was a good sound, I liked what you did back there and that’s why I couldn’t help myself.” she panted, already excited, looking at her handsome companion with veiled desire. “Let’s just take off our clothes and take this to the bed.”.

After a moment of silence, he said: “You are really something else, Poppy. Always full of surprises.”.

She chukled and replied at the compliment with a lustful tone: “And that’s why you fell in love with me and married me, sir.”.

“You can bet on it.” Branch grinned and winked, enjoying the little flirt game they were having. Everything felt more normal and natural. “Now, where were we?”.


[WARNING: LEMON STARTS HERE]:

The bed placed in the middle of the lavish bedroom was comfortable and wide; in fact, Branch though he never slept in a better bed than that one. It was green, pink and blue, made with the softest leaves, wool and bright fabric.

The couple laid down on it, and the girl kissed her husband’s lips again, with the same passion as before. But this time, Branch knew exactly what to do: with trembling arms, he slowly lifted Poppy’s blue dress, and his hands started to roam on her slim body, exploring it with curiosity and interest. He traced and kissed the curve of her hips, the lenght of her legs and her neck, until he found his way to her round and compact built breasts. She let out a content and silent sigh, relaxing under his unfamiliar but reassuring touch. “Don’t stop, go on, it’s okay.”.

Branch wasn’t going to stop, anyway. He gave them a little squeeze, then he used his thumbs to stimulate her erect nipples with circular movements, sometimes giving them a suck. Her sweet sounds encouraged him a lot, so he added more pressure on her glands.

“U-uhh…” the always-happy pink Troll moaned, closing her eyes and breathing heavily as she laid her head on the soft pillow, to fully enjoy the moment. “T-that feels good…” she admitted with a trembling voice, shooting a glance at her  kinda smug partner.

“Glad to hear that you’re having a good time.” Branch replied, keeping up the work with his thumbs while gently lowering his head to her private area, still hidden by her white underwear. “But I’d like to turn that “good” into a “great”, now.” he grinned, removing her slip with a fast movement and starting to stimulate her already wet nudity with his tongue. “I hope this works.” he thought.

Oh, and it did. Poppy’s smaller body shook with great joy as pleasure shot up her spine, making her moan very loudly and grasp the sheets. The Queen let out a particularly excited sound when her husband found her clit and gave it an enthusiastic lick, while using two fingers to penetrate her tight and warm canal, in and out, in and out.

“B-Branch, a-ahh… it feels so, so amazing, don’t s-stop! A-ahh, I’m gonna-!” Poppy cried out, feeling very close to an orgasm, her first one with someone. His mouth on her sensitive nub, his fingers moving inside her, his kisses, his licks, his breath: she just couldn’t hold it in any longer. “A-Ahh, Branch!” she finally screamed, her whole body shook with ecstasy as she came.


“Well… That was kinda fast. One-nil, I could say.” Branch joked, proud of himself, sitting on the bed and looking at his tired but satisfied wife, who was still panting to get her breath back, naked, legs spread and red, freckled cheeks. “Is everything ok? Did you like it?”.

She didn’t answer immediately; she just huffed, got up and approached Branch, then she smirked at him and declared with husky voice: “Oh, I did. Your turn to have fun and my turn to score points, now.”.

“What are you doi-? A-ah no, w-wait!” he whined helplessly on his knees, feeling Poppy’s right hand suddenly grab the base of his light blue, half-fully erect manhood. She snickered, and after a brief moment she started to energetically pump it, taking his trousers and pants off with her other hand. “I-I… u-uhh…”.

The ex Princess analyzed the length in her grip for a moment: it was warm to the touch, hard, smooth except where some visible veins were and the tip was a bit darker than the base.

Imitating Branch’s previous actions, Poppy bent down and kissed the head of the hard organ in front of her, then she gave it a firm lick, from the bottom to the top, listening to his quiet moans and grunts. He needed more. After a moment of hesitation, the pink Queen took the dick into her mouth and bobbed her head, licking and sucking the tip with increasing force, until…

“Mmmfh!” Branch shouted, thrusting his pelvis back and forth as he came inside her mouth, without warning. When he slowly came back from his climax, he realized what he did and gave her a mortified look. “Uh. I’m very, very sorry… I should probably warn you, next time.”.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind. And anyway… look who’s fast now. One each.” she winked, swallowing the rest of the semen still inside her mouth, tasting and teasing him. “And I’m glad you enjoyed it, because I surely did.”.

Branch panted and laughed nervously, rubbing his blue neck with an hand, then he asked: “So… what happens now?”.


“First of all, you’ll take off that nice shirt of yours.” the Queen quickly responded, smiling to hide her increasing anxiety. She was very nervous, too: after all, that was their first time together.

The blue Troll nodded and obligated, slowly and shyly removing the elegant fabric from his quite chubby body. They were fully naked in front of each other now, and Branch couldn’t help but blush when he looked at her beautiful face, her slim body, her bright eyes, her cute smile, her curved hips, her round breast and her… vital regions.  “You are the most beautiful Troll I’ve ever laid my eyes on, Poppy.” he admitted, fascinated and enchanted. “I can’t say how much you mean to me.”.

The pink girl got close and hugged him tightly, touched, and whispered in his pointy hears: “You too Branch, but I think that I might show you how much I love you. In fact…” she started, grabbing him by the shoulders and laying him down, above her, between her legs. “… I wanna make love to you right now. And I can see that he’s ready, too.” she purred, pointing at his hard and dripping cock.

Branch gulped. “Sure you want this? Totally sure?” he asked for the last time, supporting his weight with his elbows. When he got a “I’m entirely sure.”, he took hold of his thick organ and rubbed it against her wet opening, loving the sensation. “S-so, can I…?”.

“Yes. I can’t wait any longer!” she nodded feverishly, spreading her legs a bit more to show him that she was more than ready.

In that moment, after taking a deep breath, Branch started to lovingly push himself inside her warm and welcoming body.


The blue Troll’s hard rod easily passed her first ring of muscles, but when he tried to go just a little deeper he met a bit of resistance and heard a tiny and uncomfortable wail from his companion. He stopped and asked: “Does it hurt so bad, Poppy!? D-do you want me to pull out? I can do that, I suppose, if you just ask-”.

“Wait, wait, wait, no! It hurts, but just a little, not that much.” she quickly replied, trembling in his arms and trying to relax her smaller body. It didn’t hurt that bad at all, it was just strange to be stretched like that, and she was a little scared. But his familiar smell, his comforting weight on her and his caring (and worried as usual) voice helped the Queen a lot. “It’s not your fault, and you are the one who should calm down!” she chuckled.

“Eh. I suppose I am…” he cooed, nuzzling the pink Troll’s face and kissing her neck, cheeks and lips lightly. She sighed, closing her eyes, and caressed his back to show her appreciation. “Then I’m… I’m gonna push again when you’re ready, ok?”. She simply nodded and waited for him.

When the boy felt her muscles slowly loosening, he took courage and thrusted his hips forward (earning another soft whimper followed by a yelp), sinking into her body; now he was completely inside of her. “That’s i-it. How is it?” he eagerly asked, panting and feeling his own heart beating faster and faster inside his ribcage: being inside her was amazing, she was soft, warm and scented, and he felt closer to her than ever. He could even feel her fast heartbeat through her inner walls.

“It still feels strange.” she admitted, re-opening her pink eyes to take a look at his concerned face. He was going to say something, but she “read his mind” and interrupted: “And yes, I’m sure, yes, I can handle this, and yes again, you can start moving now.” she sang. “I mean, you’ve been here, fixed inside of me, for ten minutes or more!”.


“Ok, ok, no need to remind me this! Ugh… ok Poppy, you won. But tell me if I hurt you too much, and don’t try to hold back.” Branch requested, huffing a little and blushing a lot. But after a few seconds, his face softened: “I know you very well, too.”.

“Pff, I know you do, smartie.” she smirked, fooling around while shifting between the sheets to get more comfortable. When she found a good position, she nodded: “I’m ready now.”.

The blue Troll nodded and gave a first, experimental thrust, then another one. Her inner walls were wet and so tight, they squeezed Branch’s thick lenght in a pleasurable and intimate grip. He started to pant softly against her neck, keeping up the movements of his chubby hips, that became a little faster and harder.

“B-Branch…” she moaned, starting to feel pleasure as well. Her husband’s manhood hit a particular spot hidden inside her, a spot she didn’t know existed. “That feels s-so good! Right there, hit me there again please! Ahhh…”.

“M-Mhh…!”, he groaned in response, angled his thrusts and tried to hit that place again; after a few failed attempts, he heard Poppy squeal loudly. “Got it!”, he though with triumph. Her insides, as if they wanted to thank him, contracted around his sensitive organ everytime he hit it. “This f-feels so amazing…”.

The pink Queen started to meet his strong pushes, moving her hips against Branch’s and earning more stimulation in her groin area. The blue Troll’s hands started to explore and roam her body again, but with more passion and hunger than before, touching and nibbling her nipples with his teeth and caressing everywhere. He focused on her clit, rubbing it with three fingers, coated with his spit.

“D-don’t stop! Faster!” Poppy cried, breathless, gripping his back and scratching it on instinct. She just had to hold on something, and he didn’t mind at all the cuts. The pain and the smell of blood got him more excited and he sped up, groaning, grunting and sometimes moaning her name.

Their hair tied together as they joined their hands tightly, forehead against forehead.


They both were close, really close.

She felt her stomach tightening and aching for the incoming climax, and Branch’s rod swelling and dripping with anticipation inside her. He was ready, too.

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna-!” he grunted, with his light blue eyes closed and sweaty temples. He was trembling, his pelvis moved back and forth with incredible speed as he put part of his weight down on her, pressing until she could’t breathe.

“M-me too, just keep going!” she replied with a shaky shout, feeling more than ready to come, feeling an orgasm coming and reaching her. And with a last, strong and firm thrust, they both finished. “BRANCH!” Poppy screamed on top of her lungs, arching her back and coming, her already tight walls clenched on the hard muscle.

“Poppy!” Branch panted, cumming deeply inside of her with a low grunt. He instinctively continued to give small and slow thrusts, riding out both of their orgasms, making them last as long as possible and pushing his seed a little deeper.

The Queen groaned when she felt her husband’s warm cum coating her insides and, when he reluctantly pulled out after his peack, she felt some of it pouring out.

The pink, always-happy Troll regained her energy pretty soon though, in fact she spoke first: “That was awsome, Branch.” she complimented, wheezing and puffing.

“Mhn, awsome indeed.” Branch yawned, tired but completely satisfied, then he got closer to his energetic wife and laid beside her. He took her hands and caressed them. “Thank you.”.

“Thanks? For what?” the ex Princess lazily asked, enjoying the cuddles and reciprocating them.

“For not giving up on me when I was the grey, grumpy Troll that everyone avoided and despised. For giving me a real home, a lot of friends and a purpose in life. For teaching me that life is for living. For loving me and marrying me. Thanks for being you, Poppy.” Branch said with sincerity, looking her in the eyes. “I love you.”.

The Queen smiled. “I’m the one that wouldn’t be here, if it wasn’t for you. You were strange and sometimes boring indeed, but you taught me that life can be complicated, a lot more complicated, but you also said that you’ll always be there for me: you kept your promise, and I’ll always be there for you as well. I fell in love with that grey, grumpy Troll, I fell in love with you before you got your colors back.” she smiled, nuzzling his neck. “I love you too, Branch, so much.”.

Their lips joined in a tender and deep kiss, as they relaxed under each other’s touch.

When they pulled away, the blue Troll joked with a tired voice: “The match is officially over, I guess. I’d say we’re even. Two points each.”.

“I wouldn’t say the match is officially over… actually, I still have some energy.” Poppy winked, getting up and laying on him. She looked at her husband with lust and desire: “So… round two?”.


“What!? No!'” he shouted, with his light blue eyes wide open and shaking his head. “Come on Poppy, get off me, I’m too tired for another round.” Branch complained, shaking her off his body and gripping a pillow and a soft blanket. “Goodnight!”.

“Oh come on, it will be fun, I promise! You can just lay there and relax while I do all the job, I’ll ride you!” she hopeful proposed, trying to convince him. “So… What do you say?”.

“As if I could relax in a situation like that!” Branch replied, crossing his arms and huffing. After a few seconds a funny idea came to his mind. “You want me? You have to free yourself and catch me, first!” he laughed, pinning her down with the weight of his chubby, blue body. He lazily lied on her. “What are you gonna do now? ?cause I think I’ll sleep on you.”.

Taken by surprise, she couldn’t stop him in time. She tried to escape from his solid grip, but he was way too heavy. Her body was smaller, slimmer and lighter, so much lighter than Branch’s. “Well, I think I’m gonna say that you need to eat less.” she played around, touching his fat belly and starting to rub it. “You almost crushed me, down there!”.

The more she rubbed it, the more he laughed, harder and harder, trying to get away from her touch. “No, stop it! Ahahahah!” the blue Troll said between cackles, falling backwards and squirming. “No, no! I’m seriou- mpppffffhh, ahahahah! Stop, please!”.

“Didn’t know you were that ticklish!” Poppy said, really amused, rubbing his belly faster and taking her revenge. “You give up?” she asked, without mercy. “I won’t stop until you say “I give up.”, it’s your choice mister, I could do this all night!”.

“Please, ahahaha! Make it stop!” Branch begged loudly, laughing to the point of tears. He couldn’t move a muscle to escape, so he took a decision. “Poppy, pfffffff, please! I give up! I give up, ok!? You won, now stop it!”.


“That’s my boy! Was it so difficult?” the pink girl sang happily, then she stopped the torture and sit. “What did I win?”.

“A revenge in the morning. Watch your back.” the blue Troll just smirked, defeated. “But I guess you can choose your price, now. What do you want from me?”.

“You know exactly what I want.” Poppy winked and gently patted his back, sweaty and still a bit bloody for the scratches, but he seemed ok with it. “I didn’t know he liked it a bit rought.”

“Ugh, fine, but as you said before, you’ll be on top. I’m still tired, you know.” he smiled sweetly, looking her in the eyes and pressing his forehead against hers.  “What am I gonna do with you?”.

“I don’t know. But I know that you’ll have to love me and put up with me for a looooong time.” she replied, smiling as well and pushing him down with her hands.  

“Oh, I’m sure I can do that.”.


THE END.


I finished it. I just finished it! I can’t believe it, it took me two whole weeks! I really hope you liked it, even if it’s… kinda strange, after all this is a kid’s movie. Oh well, it’s too late. I feel so dirty, omg.

Anyways, that was one of my first Lemons, so I don’t know if you’ll find it good. I tried at least!

I’m a Italian girl, so I’m so sorry if there are many mistakes or grammar errors. Have mercy and forgive my sins.

I wrote it because I liked this movie, the couple and their personality, and because me and my best friend, @princess-kurama, made a bet: now that I did a lemon about Trolls, you know what you have to do, lady! :* 

Thanks for reading!

You’re a monster!

Summary: Reader is terrified by Negan and Negan finds the reader very attractive.

word count: 1021 words

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of Glenn’s death (sorry guys) 

TWD Neagan Imagine #1


I refused to open my eyes and look at the monster in front of me. I felt a presence in front of me. “Come on darling open your eyes and look at me.” I cringed at his voice. I can’t do it, not after what he did to Glenn. I’ll never be able to forget what had happened. The way Glenn looked will forever haunt me. “Fucking look at me.” I opened my eyes to look at the monster in front of me. He pointed Lucile at me and smirked when I flinched. “You know darling you are very fucking beautiful.” He said. I looked at him with hatred. He didn’t seem to be shocked when I looked at him like that. “Come on darling don’t look at me like that.” He said with a serious look. I rolled my eyes. “How am I supposed to look at you?!?” I asked. “With loving eyes of course. You are gonna be my new wife after I’m done here.” He said. “Fuck off! I would never and I mean NEVER FUCKING BE YOUR WIFE!!!” I yelled but made sure to scream the last part. “(Y/N)! Calm down we can’t lose you.” Rick said strangely calm. I turned my head towards him and glared. “Calm down?!?” I asked through clenched teeth. I let out a chuckle. “ How can you be clam when there is a fucking monster standing right in front of us?” I asked Rick. “Look I know your scared and upset but we need you to keep calm we can not lose you too. Glenn wouldn’t want you to get yourself killed.” Rick said. Really that’s how you’re gonna end that whole we cant lose you thing Rick?!? “Scared and upset?!?!” I asked and laughed in anger. “That’s a fucking understatement. I’m fucking terrified and devastated. You guys cant lose me, don’t make me laugh. I’m used the same way you guys used Glenn. That’s why you cant lose me because with out me you have no one else dumb enough to even attempt half the stuff me and Glenn have done for this fucking group.” I said angrily. I looked away from Rick and looked at the ground. “Wait why are you terrified?” Negan asked me. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re a monster! I’ve seen nothing in this world worse then you. You would think I would be terrified of the real monsters that roam the fucking streets but no here I am fucking terrified of another human being.” I said while looking up at him. He looked shocked but he made sure to cover it up with his usual smirk. “well we just lost (y/n).” I heard Carl mumble. I snapped my head in his direction and glared at him. He looked at me shocked that I had actually heard him . I was about to say something only to be interrupted by Negan laughing. Okay maybe I am a goner. “Wow! I like her. She actually speaks whats on her fucking mind and she doesn’t even give a fucking care in the world.” Negan said with a smirk. I looked at him with annoyance. “Of course I don’t fucking care. Why should I care when I nothing to lose.” I said with no emotion. Everyone in the group looked shocked at what I had said.  There really was no point to care when I don’t have a reason to now. The only reason i cared was now dead with a bashed in skull on the ground. Before this whole apocalypse thing happened I was Glenn’s adopted little sister. When the apocalypse began Glenn made me promise him that I would keep fight for as long as I can. My will to fight has gone away as soon as Glenn took his last breath. Negan just stared at me and then turned away.  I looked at the ground and waited for my fate. All of a sudden I felt hands grab my arms and pull me to my feet. “Let go of me!” I screamed. But it fell upon deaf ears because the person who grabbed me ignored my scream. I looked at the group and they were staring back me with fear. I started crying, There is no why I’m going with that monster. “Please let me go!!” I screamed out. “Will you fucking calm down.” Negan said to me. He turned me around to face him and stared at me. I tried to look away but he grabbed my chin and made me look back at him. He just kept staring at me and wouldn’t look away but why. he finally turned away. “Look darling… I can tell that your hurt about the whole me killing a member of your group thing b-” I cut him off. “He was my brother..” I whispered. Silent tears were still streaming down my cheeks. “What?” He asked me. “You killed my brother. He wasn’t just a member of the group.” I said loud enough for him to hear. “Oh fuck. Well look I know you must hate me darling.” Negan said. “That’s a understatement.” I mumbled. He stayed quiet for a second and sighed. “Look is there any fucking thing I could do to make you not hate me. I don’t want any of my wife’s to hate me.” He said calmly. I sighed and looked away from. “Well you should of thought about this before killing my brother.” I said quietly. He sighed again and grabbed my arm and put me on the passenger side of a jeep. “Simon come over here and watch her while i finish up business!” He yelled. He walked away and a creepy looking guy walked over to me. I laid my head against the head rest of the seat and let out a long sigh.

(A/N~ So I’m thinking a part 2. If you would like a part 2 please let me know.)

My personal favorite lyrics from each DEH song

Does anybody have a map: no specific line but Rachel Bay Jones is a Queen and kills it through out the entire show.

Waving through a window:
DID I EVEN MAKE A SOUND
DID I EVEN MAKE A SOUND
ITS LIKE I NEVER MADE A SOUND
WILL I EVER MAKE A SOUND

For Forever:
Basically all of it from when Evan climbs up and then falls out of the tree to the end of the song but mostly
-I’m on the ground
My arm goes numb
I look around
And I see him come to get me
He comes to get me
And everything’s okay

Sincerely me (aka the only song that doesn’t make me want to scream or sob):
-Kinky!
-Smoking drugs
-RE IN VEN TION
-The only man that I love is my dad

Requiem:
-I gave you the world and you threw it away
-Cause when the villains fall the kingdoms never weep
-that YOU WERE NOT THE MONSTER that I knew
(ZOE AND HER DAD UGGHFHGDJS THOSE HARMONIES)

If I could tell her:
-He thought you looked really pretty er-
You looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair
-I love youu I LoVe YoUuuuuu I LOVE YOUUUUU

Disappear:
-Make me more that just an abandoned memory
-No one should flicker out
-All you need is for somebody to find you

You will be found:
(SO GOOD AND INSPIRATIONAL I LOVE IT SM)
-Let that lonely feeling wash away
-There’s a place where you don’t have to feel alone
And every time you call out you’re a little less unknown
-When you’re broken on the ground
You will be found

To break in a glove:
-Or you’re just trying to do what’s best for a kid who’s lost control
(This isn’t that emotional of a song but this single phrase breaks my heart every god damn time)

Only us:
-I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to want you
-Try to quiet the noises in your head
We can’t compete with all that
-If you like me for me and nothing else

Good for you
-well I’m sorry you had it rough and I’m sorry I’m not enough
-(JARED!!!!)and if somebody’s in your way crush them and leave them behind
-(EVANNNN) like a train coming off the track cause the rails and my bones all crack I’ve got to find a way to StOp iT sToP It JUST LET ME OOOOOFFF
(this is probably one of my top 5 moments in the show I love Ben platt so much how does he have so much talent)

Words fail: (I have a love hate relationship with this song because it is hands down my favorite song but it makes me sob uncontrollably 10/10 times. The way that Ben platt can be sobbing and still sing so flawlessly wows me to no end)
-I never had that perfect girl who somehow could see the good parts of me
-nothing can make sense of all these things I’ve done
-cause if I just believe then I don’t have to see what’s really there
-I’d rather pretend something other than these broken parts, pretend I’m something other than this mess that I am (THIS IS THE LINE THAT GETS ME AGGSGHHKK IM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK)
-ALL OF THE WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW REPRISE
-how do I step into the sun

So big So small:
-I knew I’d come up short a million different ways
And I did
And I do
And I will
-your mom isn’t going anywhere your mom is staying right here
(RBJ IS A GODDESS)

Finale:
-today at least you’re you and thats
enough
-we could be alright for forever this way

I live in Phoenix, Arizona and there is a
.0001% chance that I will ever get to see DEH in New York bc I can’t afford to travel across the country, but tbh I would probably drive everyone out of the theater with the amount of crying that would occur if I ever saw the musical on broadway. So I send my love and thanks from a distance. This musical has had such an impact on my life this year. I’ve never connected to something more in my life and sometimes I get so emotional while I’m listening to the sound track that have to take a break for like a week so I can take a rest from crying. Thank you Pasek and Paul. Thank you Steven Levenson. Thank you Ben Platt. Thank you to the rest of the cast for touching my heart so deeply. You have all made me feel so understood and you’re doing so much more for people than you’re probably ever going to be aware of. Thank you all so much.

The Run Through - Smut

 Author: mystic-biscuit
Series Rating: NSFW 18+

Words:5442


Notes: I started this fic when the picture below first was released and I was over come (pun intended) with rage lust I needed to get it out. I things I would do I tell ya. *wipes brow* and I’m applying for the film union here so this gives me extra rage lust. 

I dont know how the casting in film works, so I made it all up.

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Why Her? (Part 15)

Prompt: You’re in love with Chris Evans…but your best friend is dating him

Warning: language, adult content-ish? Jealousy, drama-rama

Word count: 630

Note: This is for one of my bestest friends. I hope she enjoys it! @amarvelouswritings This will feature Sebastian Stan and OFC Lexi. This is a drabble/short chapter series. Beta’d by the perfect @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

Forever Tags: @amarvelouswritings @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please@superwholocked527​ @myparadise1998 @sandlee44

Chris Evans Tags: @nedthegay@camigt1999@lostinspace33@alwayshave-faith@elleatrixlestrange

Why Her Tags: @seargantbcky @sevennight7 @supernatural-girl97​  @princess76179@nerdingoutismylife@shamvictoria11@ajaxfuckingfreeman@rda1989@soundslikevanilla@karlhacontreras@tacohead13​ @masha-meow01 @elyza-jeanette  @forever-wander-neversettle @sorryimacrapwriter @buenostardissherlock @wangdeasang @justformarvel @loki-bucky-wanda-ohmy @queendivaofthedark @thejulesworld @patzammit @bucky-heaven-james @heytherepartner @annielovescupcakes @literallykaylenn @darkraeraecosplay

~~~~~~~~

You arrived at work and your boss informed you that you were to work on Chris Evans again, per his request.

“What? Really?” you asked, flabbergasted.

“Yeah, now get over there,” she instructed.

You dashed over to his usual chair where he sat waiting for you.

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